I opened my eyes, feeling a sense of urgency that I did not understand yet. It was dark. I could smell lilacs. I looked around and found a sliver of light coming in through the bottom of a very large door. But it wasn't my bedroom door.
Memories began to flood my head: Cloaks and blood and fire and teeth and pain. I remembered the pain beneath a swirl of colors, as well as the pain from Sean's teeth.
Sean bit me!
With a start, I cupped my hand over my neck. My heart thumped hard in my chest.
Sean drank my blood!
Even though I knew this was true, it still took a moment or two for me to actually believe what I was saying. In my life thus far, I had experienced great amounts of pain and terror. I had been subjected to various forms of demonic behavior. But never had I experienced anything vampire-like in nature.
My stomach violently twisted like a pretzel and my world came to a skidding halt.
"He drank my blood!" I said out loud, hoping that hearing myself say this would help me to realize just how crazy this sounded, how unreal it was.
But it was real.
I shot to my feet, feeling dizzy and weak. I remembered the blood. There was a lot of blood. The side of my head hurt. I put my hand on the back of my head, gently touching, not one, but two goose eggs that had formed sometime after Sean had bashed my head into the tree trunk.
Panic pulsed through my veins.
How horribly wrong I was to have thought that when Addy brought me here to Burling that I had escaped the nightmare that was my life.
Was it possible that my father inhabited Sean? Barron's behavior was so very much like Sean's behavior. Was it possible that the very same demon who possessed Barron was now possessing Sean?
Where they following me?
And if so, then why?
I turned in a circle, feeling around me for a lamp. I knocked something over, and it shattered into pieces on the floor. I ran to the door, searching for a door handle or a knob. When I found something, I pulled up on it, but the door would not open. I tried a few more times, while shoving my shoulder against it, but even still it would not open. I swept my palm over the wall next to the door, a wall that felt like rock, searching for a light switch, but there wasn't one. I turned, looking for any other traces of light and found one straight ahead of me. I rushed across the room, reached the little thread of light and swept aside a heavy curtain. The bloated moon lit the night like day. I could see the wooded grounds below and the lush, green grass. To my right, I saw that there was a turret made of stone attached to the---
Castle?
"You gotta be joking!"
After further inspection I realized that I was standing at a fourth-story window inside --yes-- a castle. But there was no time to sit and ponder how the hell I ended up in a castle. I found a latch, unsecured it and pushed open the glass. I wasn't so sure what my plan was or how I would get down to the ground, but I had decided that breaking something important, like an arm or a leg, didn't matter to me. As long as I could escape. As long as I was no longer be trapped. Like an animal. Trapped, like I had been my entire life.
A different form of panic imploded within me, as I slipped out through the window, one leg at a time, onto a ledge constructed of large round river rocks. The smooth, slippery kind. And there was only about two inches of the rock that formed the ledge. I paused where I stood, deciding it was time to come up with a plan of some sort. I just hoped I'd make it a good plan, because the ground was a long ways away. Letting go of the window sill and walking along the ledge, like they did in the movies, just wasn't possible in this situation. And there wasn't a single tree close enough to the castle to climb down. If I was going to escape this castle, there was only one way I was going to be able to do that.
I'd have to jump.
"Crap!"
Of course, I preferred not to break any bones, but if I was going to, I hoped it would be an arm instead of a leg. It would be really hard to run away on one leg. But I would crawl out of here, drag myself with my arms if that's what it took to escape Sean. To escape yet another horrible nightmare.
But what if I broke an arm and a leg, and I couldn't drag myself away from here?
I couldn't think about that. I just had to act. And I had to act now. I had no idea how long I'd be alone, how long I had before Sean would come into the room and blow my chance of escaping him.
In the distance, I could hear male voices and the crackling sound of a fire, coming from the opposite side of the castle. I looked around at the property. It was flat and heavily wooded. I wouldn't have been able to see a road even if there was one a few yards beyond the tree line. I had no idea into which direction I would run, no idea which direction would take me home, but I quickly decided that I'd figure that out once I was down on the ground.
I looked down at the ground below me. It was still so very far away from me. But jumping was my only option. Climbing back in through the widow, where I would be trapped, just wasn't going to happen.
I readied my body to jump, even if my mind was slow to follow.
"This is gonna leave a mark!" I groaned. Without another thought, I let go of the window sill and pushed away from the ledge.
Just as gravity gripped me, an arm encircled my waist. Before I could fully comprehend what was going on, I was yanked backward and hauled back in through the window.
"What are you trying to do, kill yourself?" It was Sean's voice. It was Sean's arm that had pulled me through the window. I whirled around, backing away from him at the same time. Light spilled in through the door across the room, but it wasn't enough to see his face. He was only a shadow. A massive, bulky shadow lingering before me.
"Stay away from me!" I said. Panic made my voice quiver. Even though Sean was not approaching, I continued to slowly, cautiously move backward toward the window. "What ever you are, just stay away from me!" It was then that I realized that I did not know what Sean Hylander was. A warlock, yes. A high priest, yes. But he was more than these things. So very much more.
Bane tried to warn me. But I refused to listen to him.
"Oh, my Little One," he said in a condescending tone. "Why must you be so dramatic?"
"Dramatic? Me? You punched me in the head, drugged me up, tied me to a table, bit me in the freaking neck, drank my freaking blood and then locked me in a freaking castle, and you say I'm the one being dramatic?"
"It is a matter of perception, I suppose," he said.
"Who are you?" I demanded. Somewhere in the back of my mind I understood that these things he'd done to me were no where near as horrible as the things my father had done to me. Different? Yes. More horrible? No. Not yet, anyway. Pain and torment and torture and abuse where all I had ever known. These things were the very fibers of my existence, the things that came together to form the substance of my very existence. After seventeen years of living with my possessed father, I was programed to believe this was life. This was how men were. Especially since I had nothing to compare Barron and his behavior to, other than the Dark Angel of my dreams. And Bane was no different. Bane was cruel and abusive as well. So why was I so afraid? Sean was a Teddy Bear in comparison to what I was used to.
A giant, beautiful, powerful Teddy Bear!
Because he freaking bit me, that's why!
Sean Hylander, The Sons of Hallows' high priest," he said, making it sound so simple. But I knew better. There was nothing simple about who he was.
"Ok, let me rephrase that. What are you?"
"I am a man, Little One. A man with whom you will soon fall madly in love. An insidious hedonist to whom you will pay homage. I am a sadist. I am a masochist. I am your dream. I am your nightmare. And yes, archaic rancor may cause me to be a bit petulant, but I assure you, my titillating Little One, it is you who shall placate me."
"You bit my freaking neck!" I cupped my hand over my throat again. "You drank my freaking blood! You have to be more than that! More than just a man, and what ever the hell the rest of that stuff you said mea
nt. Tell me! What are you?"
"Time will unveil these things you wish to know. I will not."
"Ok, so tell me what happened tonight?"
"You have already done a fine job at recapping the events of the evening. Although, I must say, your synopsis was delivered very freaking inarticulately." Sean grinned, and I couldn't help but feel a little tug in my heart. His grin had magical properties infused within it.
There was something different about how I felt about him. Something I could not put my finger on. All I knew was that what ever it was, it was potent. And it had something to do with what ever happened when he bit me.
"That doesn't answer my question! Why would you drink my blood? Are you a vampire?" I felt stupid even asking that last question, since there was no such thing as vampires. But Sean had bitten me and drank my blood. What else could I calm him? A manpire?
"No, I am not. I am a man, as I have said."
The door behind Sean suddenly slammed shut. I flinched at the loud heavy sound. There was no one at the door. There was no breeze, no logical explanation as to how it could have closed.
Sean did it. Somehow, he had slammed the door. And just before he did, his energy had changed. Frigid waves rolled off of him.
And yet, he looked so calm. With the door closed, Sean and I were now shrouded in darkness. Even the moon hid itself behind a cloud, no doubt cowering away from Sean's sudden outburst.
Sean snapped his fingers and a little flickering flame appeared in the lantern that was hanging from one of the posts on the four-poster bed beside him.
"A man you should reconsider speaking to in such a manner as this," he said.
Then the window behind me swung on its hinges, closing with a loud wallop! And then a metallic-sounding clink! came from the clasp. The window was secured once again.
Gasping in surprise, I spun around to look at the window. Once again, I was trapped.
"I have been patient with your profane, ignoble behavior long enough for one evening."
The drapes slid over the window, like an invisible hand had yanked them closed.
"Now my patience has expired."
A sound in the corner of the room stole my attention.
"Now, please," Sean said. An old, intricately carved chair tipped backward onto two legs. It began to slide across the stone floor toward me. I watched, with wide eyes and wonder, as it wobbled and hobbled across the floor, all on its own, as if someone had been dragging it. "Sit down," Sean said.
A firm, solid pressure appeared in the center of my chest that felt like the palm of someone's hand. The unseen force shoved me hard, pushing me backward, and I fell to my rump in the chair.
Sean squatted down before me. His face was now in the pool of the lantern's light. "You see, Little One. I could make you do anything I want you to do, but I find that approach rather boring. Would you like another demonstration to help you understand where I am going with this?"
"No. I think I get it," I said, quickly, before he could give me yet another freaky demonstration. But it was sort of a lie. I didn't get it. How a simple man could do these things was beyond my range of understanding. Maybe Hollywood did accomplish accurately depicting what a warlock was. But I did get the point he was trying to make, that I had better behave. I just wasn't so sure I would be able to do that. Behaving wasn't something I was very good at. And this really sucked because Sean was down-right freaky. If I had learned anything in my life, it was how to rebel against authority, and boy, was I good at it sometimes.
"Very good, then. I am pleased you understand." Sean touched my cheek with the back of his knuckles. I went very still, unsure of what this man was capable of, uncertain of how I felt about him. Uncertain of what he would do to me, or what he wanted from me.
And why?
Sean's touch was soft and careful. The look in his eyes was passionate, yet cold. His fingers combed into my hair and his hand cupped the back of my head. He drew me into his mouth.
His kiss was kind, at first, but then it turned hard and cruel. His fingers curled into a fist. With his mouth locked to mine, he raised me up and out of the chair. He crushed me against his body with his other arm.
But I didn't care.
Sean's obsession and desire for me, combined with my need to be near him, was all that suddenly mattered. I never mattered to anyone before. I never knew love beyond the borders of my wild imagination, and it didn't matter that the man who showed theses things to me was some kind of demon. Especially since I had never known anything beyond my world of monsters and madness. It simply did not matter. I had demons too and I needed to be loved. I feared myself and I still loved me.
So what would be so wrong with loving Sean?
Sean released my mouth, but he kept me held against him in his arm. He gazed down at my face. When our eyes met, I was certain that loving this man --or what ever he was-- was definitely possible. And I was certain that in his presence was were I truly belonged.
That was it, the thing I could not put my finger on, the thing that was different now. I needed to be near him.
I stayed very still, unsure of what to expect or what to think. I only wanted to focus on that look in his eyes, that powerful, possessive look that said I meant everything in the world to him. Right now, I didn't need to understand it. I just wanted to drink it in. I wanted to drown in it. If Sean were to keep this look in his eye, I was certain I would be able to overlook all the weird, blood-drinking, voodoo-like magic stuff.
I felt my body shiver in Sean's arm. He smiled down at me, as if pleased by my fear for him. His finger traced the line of my face, slow and casual, like he could stare at me forever and never see enough of me. "I have waited for you, for so long," he said softly. "But I can not be in your presence any longer." He let go of me and backed away. "Not when there is a bed so near. You must rest. Sleep. I will keep you safe there, in your dreams, as well." Sean strode to the door. He was half way across the room when the door opened up all on its own.
Confusion began to stir inside me. It whirled and grew, as I watched him walk away from me. I wanted to escape him and, yet, I did not want him to leave me. The further away from me he got, the more uncomfortable I became. I had no understanding as to why, but I needed him near me. Needed. Needed more than wanted. And he was walking away. Putting distance between us. Horrible, depth-less distance.
My insides grumbled in discomfort.
"But I want to go home!" I blurted. I was desperate. I heard it in my voice, heard it in the urgency that saturated my words. But why? Was I desperate to escape him when I was so desperate to put an end to the unfamiliar ache inside me that his distance was creating?
"In the morning, I will grant you your wish, My Little One. But as for tonight, you will sleep," Sean said, stopping when he reached the threshold.
"I don't want to be locked in. I will stay here tonight. I won't sneak out, I promise. Just don't lock me in," I said. I felt desperate now, but for reasons I now more understood. He had no idea just how much I did not like feeling trapped. It wasn't that I had a phobia of being in closed-in places. No, it was the trapped feeling I could not handle. After my mother took me away from Barron, I vowed to myself that no one would ever imprison me again. And here I was, feeling imprisoned by Sean.
"It is not you getting out that brings me to locking the door. It is what could come in," he said. Then he was gone. And the door closed behind him.
"What could get in?" I asked the walls around me, hoping that they didn't actually answer me. I was already feeling very uneasy. If the walls started talking to me, I'd really be afraid.
I climbed onto the bed, fearful of what might be lurking beneath it. I crawled quickly under the covers and curled up into a ball. I threw the blankets over my head and made a crack in the cocoon so that I could see out into the room.
I laid there for a very long time, forcing myself not to think about things, before I finally closed my eyes and went to sleep.
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Chapter Ten
Sean