CHAPTER VIII
THE PEEP-SHOW
Very early on Saturday morning Bobby and Fred went down to Hurley Streetand hung the painted banners upon the front of the show tent. As totheir beauty, there might have been some question, but Fred had paintedthe words clearly, and there could be no mistaking their meaning.
The sheets on which the signs were painted stretched across the width ofthe tent, and the upper line read:
FOUR MARVELS OF THE WORLD
Underneath this startling statement, in no less emphatic letters,appeared the following:
_ON EXHIBITION:_ _The Strongest Man in the World_ _The Handsomest Woman in the World_ _The Prettiest Girl in the World_ _The Smartest Boy in the World_
The surprising nature of these signs began to draw a crowd almost atonce--even before breakfast. The early comers were mostly boys, andBobby and Fred were not yet ready to admit the curious.
The chums kept perfectly serious faces and refused to answer any of thequestions, or respond much to the raillery of their young friends.
"You know that ain't so, Bobby Blake!" exclaimed one boy. "You can'thave all those people in that tent. And where'd you get them? Huh!'Strongest man in the world.' Who's that? Sandow, or John L. Sullivan?Bet you jest got a picture of Samson throwin' down the pillars."
"That's what it is--just pictures!" agreed the other curious ones.
Fred grinned at them and was--wonderful to relate!--as silent as hischum. They had agreed to say nothing in response to the chaffing.
"And who was the handsomest woman in the world?" scoffed another boy,who was rather better informed than most of his mates. "Cleopatra,maybe! And she was blacker than our Phoebe who washes for my mother.All Egyptians are black."
"I'd just like to know who you think is the prettiest girl, BobbyBlake?" demanded one of the bigger girls who went to school with thechums, her nose tip tilted to show her scorn. "What do you know aboutpretty girls?"
"If you want to see her, you can do so by paying your penny by and by,"said Bobby politely.
"Humph! I'd like to see myself!" snapped the young lady--and at oncewent home and secured a penny for that very purpose!
"I s'pose you've got a photograph of your own self in there for thesmartest boy, Reddy Martin!" suggested one of the big fellows who daredgive Fred this hated nickname.
"Well," drawled Fred, his eyes sparkling, "if it lay between you and mewho was the smartest, I don't believe _you'd_ get any medal."
The boys took turns breakfasting on crackers and cheese in Mr. Martin'sstore. Fred's father was greatly amused by the signs in front of thetent and he wanted a private view of the wonders. But he was politelyrefused.
"We can't begin the show till Bobby's made the lecture, Dad," declaredFred. "And we're not going to begin till there's a crowd on the street.We'll pass them right into the store here, and I bet you and the clerkswill be too busy waiting on customers to see the show at all," and hechuckled.
In only a single matter did the boys have help in the arrangements forthe show. Mr. Blake, without being in the secret of the show itself,had written the lecture which Bobby was to deliver outside the tentevery time a crowd gathered.
Bobby put on a shabby drum-major's coat, with one epaulet, which hadbeen found in the Martins' attic. On his head he perched an old silkhat belonging to his father, with the band stuffed out so that it wouldnot slip down over his ears and hide his face entirely.
He beat upon a tin pan with a padded drum-stick, and thus broughttogether the first crowd before the show-tent at about nine o'clock.His ridiculous figure and the noise of the drumming soon collectedtwenty or thirty grown people--mostly men at that hour--beside a crowdof boys, and a few timid girls who fringed the crowd.
Having called his audience together, Bobby, with a perfectly seriousface, began his speech which he had learned by heart, and spoke as wellas ever he recited "a piece" on Friday afternoons at school:
"Kind Friends:
"This wonderful exhibition has been arranged for the sole purpose ofextracting money from your pockets and putting it into ours. We makethis frank announcement at the start so that there may be nomisunderstanding.
"This marvelous Museum is not a charitable institution nor is it for thebenefit of any philanthropic cause.
"It is merely an effort and an invention to promote good humor; anyperson unable to appreciate a joke on himself, or herself, isrespectfully requested not to patronize our stupendous and surprisingentertainment.
"Where before, in any conglomeration of Wonders of the World, have foursuch marvelous creatures been placed simultaneously on exhibition?
"Now, kind friends, but one person is admitted to our entertainment at atime, and but one of these advertised marvels will be exhibited to eachvisitor. This is a positive rule that cannot be broken.
"The charge for our educational and startling exhibit is but a penny--acent--the smallest coin of the realm. It will not make you, and itcannot break you.
"In addition, it is understood that the person paying his, or her,entrance fee to this Museum of Marvels, agrees to keep silent regardingwhat is shown within, for at least twenty-four hours. On that, and on noother terms, do we accept your penny.
"If one should not be satisfied that a penny's worth is given inexchange for the entrance fee, the same will be cheerfully refunded.
"Now, kind friends, one at a time," concluded Bobby, stepping down fromthe rostrum to the narrow entrance to the tent. "Form in line at theright, please. Have your pennies ready; we cannot make change. DoctorTruman is the first to enter the Hall of Marvels. Thank you, Doctor!"as the cheerful, chuckling physician, bag in hand, on his morning roundsto see his patients, pushed forward to the entrance of the tent.
There was a good deal of hanging back at first. Bobby had expected that.And Fred might have lost hope had he been outside where he could see thecrowd that began to dwindle away when Bobby's funny speech was finished.
But in a moment the doctor's roar of laughter from within the tentbrought some of the suspicious ones back. The doctor appeared at thestore door, his plump sides shaking with laughter, and wiping the joyoustears from his eyes.
"What is it, Doc?" asked an old farmer. "What's them 'tarnal boys doin'in that tent?"
"Pay your penny and go in and see," exclaimed Doctor Truman, hurryingaway. "If a laugh like that isn't worth a cent, I don't know what is!"
Fred's whistle had announced the departure of the first visitor by wayof the shop door, and Bobby urged up another:
"Don't crowd, kind friends. The performance will continue all day andthis evening--or until everybody desiring to do so has seen one of thesefour Wonders of the World."
Jim Hatton, the harness maker, followed the doctor. He didn't laugh,but the curious ones heard him exclaim, a moment after hisdisappearance:
"Well, I'll be jiggered!" which was Mr. Hatton's favorite expression,and he came out of the front door of Mr. Martin's shop, grinningbroadly.
"What was it, Jim?" asked the same curious farmer.
"Can't tell ye, Jake. See it yourself--'nless you're afraid o' riskin'a penny to find out just how smart our boys here in Clinton be," and Mr.Hatton went off to his shop still grinning.
Somebody pushed forward the very girl who had sharpened her wit on Bobbybefore the exhibition opened. She had her penny clutched tightly in herhand.
"Don't you let go of that cent, Susie," advised Bobby, grinning at her,"if you think you'll want it again for anything. For you won't bepleased by what you see--maybe."
Susie tossed her head and went inside. In just a minute Fred blew hiswhistle and Susie, with flaming cheeks, appeared at the front door ofthe store.
"What was it, Susie?" demanded one of her friends.
"Which did you see--the strong man, or the handsome lady, or th
e prettygirl, or the smart boy?" cried another.
But Susie shut her lips tightly, glanced once at Bobby, who was lettingthe curious old farmer pass into the tent, and then she ran home. Thecuriosity of the boys and girls mounted higher and higher.
The old farmer popped out almost as quick as he popped in. He waschewing a straw vigorously, and his face was flushed. It was hard totell for a moment whether he was mad, or not.
"Wal, Neighbor Jake, did yet git your money's wuth?" demanded anotherrural character.
The bewhiskered old fellow turned on the speaker, and gradually a grinspread over his face.
"Say, Sam!" he drawled. "You never had none too much schoolin'. Youredication was frightfully neglected. You pay that there boy a cent andgo in there, and you'll l'arn more in a minute than you ever did beforein a day! You take it from me."
Thus advised his neighbor pressed forward and was the next "victim."When he came out his face was red likewise, while Jake burst into amighty roar of laughter and rocked himself to and fro on the horseblockin front of the store door.
Soon the second farmer joined in the laughter, and thereafter, for anhour, the two stood about and urged everybody from out of town whom theyknew to enter the peep-show.
Occasionally Bobby mounted the platform, banged on the pan, and liftedup his voice in the speech Mr. Blake had written for him. It coaxed thepeople to stop before the show every time. And between whiles, Bobbykept repeating:
"It is only a cent--and your money back if you are not satisfied! If itis a joke, keep it to yourself and let the next one find it out. Comeon! Have your pennies ready, please, kind friends. See one of the fourgreatest wonders of the world."
At first none of the ladies who were out shopping did more than stop andlisten and wonder among themselves "what that Blake boy was up to now."But the girl who worked in Mr. Ballard's real estate office ran acrossthe street to see what the crowd was about, and was tempted to enter thetent.
She came out giggling, and greatly delighted, and pretty soon the girlswho worked in the offices and stores along Hurley Street, were attractedto the show. They all seemed to be highly delighted, when they came outthrough the store.
"I declare!" exclaimed Mrs. Hiram Pepper, to a neighbor, as they passedthe peep-show again. "I've a mind to see what that means."
"It's some foolishness," said her friend, who was a rather vinegarymaiden lady named Miss Prissy Craven. "I wonder what that boy's mothercan be thinking of!"
"Why, Mrs. John Blake is as nice a lady as there is in town," declaredMrs. Pepper. "And I must say for Bobby that he's never in any mischief.He's full of fun--like any boy. But there ain't a _smitch_ of meannessin him."
"Humph!" exclaimed the other lady, sourly.
"Now, you wait. I'm going in," declared Mrs. Pepper, fumbling in herpurse for a penny.
She marched up to Bobby, eyeing him rather sternly. To tell the truth,for the first time the young showman quailed.
"Maybe you'd--you'd better not go in, Mrs. Pepper," he mumbled.
"Why not? Ain't it fit for a lady to see?" demanded she, withincreasing sternness.
"Oh, yes!" and Bobby _had_ to giggle at that. "But--but--Well, anyway,you mustn't tell, and you can have your money back if you don't like theshow."
"Ha!" exclaimed Mrs. Pepper, "as though I was worried about the loss ofa penny," and she went into the tent with her back very straight.
She came out shaking with laughter. The tears rolled down her face andshe had to sit down on Mr. Martin's steps to get her breath. MissPrissy Craven demanded, sharply: "What under the sun is the matter withyou, Mis' Pepper? I never seen you behave so. What is it in that tentthem boys have got? I sh'd think it was a giggle ball full o' tickle!"
"Ha, ha, ha!" chuckled the amused Mrs. Pepper. "You go in yourself,Prissy, and see what you think of it. I can't tell you."
"I'm going!" announced the maiden lady, nodding her head. "But lemmetell you," she added to Bobby, "if it's anything I don't like, you'llhear about it when I come out."
Bobby looked across at Mrs. Pepper doubtfully, but he had to grin. Thelady who was laughing nodded to him vigorously, and he let Miss Craventhrough.
In less than a minute she flounced through the store and demanded, inher high, rasping voice:
"What did you mean by trickin' me that-a-way, Mis' Pepper? I never wasso disgusted in all my life. A perfec' swindle--"
"You can get back your penny if you didn't like it," suggested Bobby,trying hard not to laugh.
"Well, I--"
But Mrs. Pepper broke in upon the angry spinster's possible tirade:"Jest what did you see, Prissy?" she asked the angry one, with emphasis.Miss Craven's mouth remained open for fully half a minute, but no soundcame forth. The blood mounted into her face, and then she shut her lipsand started off hastily for her own home. _Evidently she did not want totell_!
This incident excited the curiosity of the bystanders more than ever.So far every person seeing the show had "played fair" and had refused tosay what he or she had seen on the inside of the tent.
Bobby had refused to let the smaller boys or girls into the show,telling them that late in the day they might see it for nothing. Thathad been agreed upon with Fred, for the proprietors of the entertainmentwere afraid that the little folk would be tempted to talk the matterover among themselves and thus spoil the fun--as well as reduce thereceipts.
And the pennies came in faster than Bobby or Fred had dared hope.During the morning those people who had business on Hurley Street cameto see the show, and to listen to Bobby as "bally-hoo," and by noon-timewind of the peep-show had gone all over town.
Bobby's mother, and Fred's, too, heard of it from their husbands atluncheon, and they decided to see what their young hopefuls were about.Bobby was just a little bit scared when he saw his mother; he didn'tknow whether she would see the joke as his father had, earlier in theday--for Mr. Blake had come out of the tent roaring with laughter.
"It beats anything how those two youngsters have got the whole townguessing," he had said to Mr. Martin. "And they have hit on a positivehuman failing that shows more sober thought than I believed either ofthem capable of."
"Dare you let your mother in to see this show, Bobby Blake?" asked Mrs.Blake, seriously, when the boy's lecture--which he now rattled offglibly enough--was finished.
"There's no 'free list'," said Bobby, his eyes twinkling. "Pa told meto be sure not to let you in unless you paid. And I am sure, Mother,that you will see the handsomest woman in the world, if you want to,when you go inside."
"I declare! you have _me_ puzzled, Bobby Blake," said easy going Mrs.Martin.
"Just a minute, please!" urged Bobby, detaining his chum's mother."You'll have to take your turn. But one person is allowed to enter at atime. This way! this way, kind friends! The line forms on the right.Only a penny--a cent--the smallest coin of the realm. It won't make youand it can't break you!"
The two mothers joined each other afterward outside of Mr. Martin'sstore. They looked into each other's faces wonderingly.
"What do you think of those boys?" demanded Mrs. Martin. "What willthey do next?"
"I--I don't know," admitted Mrs. Blake, with a sigh. "But I _do_ fearthat they will turn that school they are going to this falltopsy-turvy!"