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“What?” I asked. I pressed my fingers into my thigh to keep my nerves from misfiring.
He tilted his head toward me and though the only light came from the glow of the Jeep’s dashboard and the far-off flashes of lightning in the sky, I could see the gleam in his eyes. Unreadable, as always.
“I’m just wondering how long we’re going to sit here in a fucking tropical storm,” he said simply, a false smile spread across his face. “That’s all. ”
Camden sat up straighter. “At least the rain should wash all that blood off your face. ”
Javier’s eyes flicked over to him. “Are you sure you want me to help you get your fat Gus back? Because I think I’m the one doing you both a favor. Aside from saving your behinds, of course. I don’t recall either of you thanking me yet. ”
I exhaled through my nose. “Just give me a few minutes. I need to figure out the plan. ”
Javier let out a dry laugh, rain running off the tip of his nose, and eyed me incredulously. “The plan? You’re not in charge of the plan, angel. If you want my help, then you’re doing it my way. ”
“Fuck that,” Camden spat out.
I finally had to look at him. His eyes were raging beneath his glasses that reflected the dull glow from the car and he was gripping the door handle like he was about to break it in two. Oh god, I didn’t need this. But then again, it was partly my fault. Maybe I did need this.
“Camden,” I said, trying to placate him with my eyes, “please, let’s just … let’s just stay calm and think. ”
“I am calm,” Javier answered as Camden opened his mouth. “I need to go find my sister, Violetta. That’s my goal first and foremost. Then I’ll help you get to Travis and Gus. ”
“And my mother?” I filled in, daring him to be honest.
He gave me a short nod, though he was looking off onto the dark road. “Yes … and your mother. ”
Now was the time to ask him. Better now than never.
I took in a deep breath. “Where’s my father? I didn’t see him at the party. ”
He raised a brow and looked over my head at Camden. Why, I had no fucking idea. I turned to look at Camden but he was staring back at Javier like he didn’t even know who he was.
“Javier,” I repeated. “Where is my father?”
He frowned at Camden and looked back at me. His face went stony. “The man you call your father is dead. ”
Every limb on me froze. My lungs sucked in warm air and raindrops.
“Dead?” I asked, feeling like I was choking.
Dead.
My father was dead?
No.
Javier’s eyes softened momentarily but only for a minute. “I didn’t know until I got here. ”
I let it soak in over my bones. My father was dead.
The good parent.
The weak one.
Dead.
With my mother working for Travis, I truly was an orphan now.
“Oh god,” I said, finally finding enough air. I leaned forward, trying to ward off another panic attack, and Camden’s warm hand met the small of my back, just enough to let me know he was there. His touch somehow strengthened me. “Oh god. ”
“I’m sorry,” Javier said.
It took a few moments before I realized what he said.
I immediately whipped my head toward him. “No you’re not,” I seethed. “You wanted me to kill them. You sick fucking bastard, you wanted me to kill my own parents. You brought me here for that. You are not fucking sorry!”
Javier stared at me impassively, his features forever reptilian, smooth and calculating. No emotion. No anything. How could I have even thought there was something warm inside him?
“You’re right,” he said, turning his attention back to the empty road. “I’m not sorry. I’m glad he’s dead. He deserves it for what he did to you. But I am sorry you feel this way, right now. ”
“Like I wouldn’t have felt worse if I killed them?”
He shrugged. “Obviously now I know how that would have played out. Apparently you don’t hold the same grudges that I do. ”
I felt like elbowing him in the nose again, seeing it break over and over. But Javier was one of those men who could take the pain and make it work for him. He had too much of an advantage over us at the moment and he liked it when I hated him as much as he liked it when I loved him.
“How did he die?” I asked, grinding my teeth.
“I don’t know,” he said. “All I know is that he is one less person to hurt you. ”
“You are so fucked-up,” Camden muttered, his hand tightening on my back.
Javier merely grinned at that, his teeth white in the darkness, taking no offense at all. “Whatever I am, you need me more than I need you. And because of that, you’ll do as I say. ”
“Sounds like a deal with the devil,” I told him.
“My, my, angel, how quickly you’ve changed your tune now that this tattooed ape is back in your life. ” He eyed Camden. “You know, just because you’re here now, doesn’t mean you’ve won anything. ”
“I only came to get Ellie back,” he said, his voice quiet but full of animosity. I knew that Camden was keeping himself on a very tight leash. I also knew that when he didn’t, well, I didn’t have to look long at Javier’s bruised and bloodied face to know what happens.
“Oh, of course,” Javier said with deliberation. “But is she really back?”
“Javier, shut the fuck up,” I said. “If you’ve got a plan then tell us what the plan is, because the longer we sit here arguing, the further Gus gets away from us. ”
He slowly looked back to me. “That has been my point all along. Are you able to think now? Is your little attack over? Because I know what worked last time you—”
“Get on with it,” I cut in. Neither Camden nor I needed him to finish his sentence. The last time I had a panic attack around Javier, we ended up having sex in an orange grove. I was vulnerable, driven by lust, desperate for closure and lured back into my own past. I had a million excuses for why I fucked him but what bothered me the most was that at the heart of them all, I did it because I wanted to. I needed to. Now, looking at him, knowing how much he had and hadn’t changed, I hated myself for being so weak, hated my body for betraying me so easily.
He held my gaze and I knew in the dim light he could make out the raw anger in my eyes. He was thinking, wondering how much more he could toy with me. He now had the ability to get a rise out of both Camden and I anytime he wanted. He was a man with too much ammo, but perhaps he’d always been that way. He stockpiled it like a squirrel preparing for winter.
He shifted the Jeep with a lurch, causing me to fall into Camden, and pulled the vehicle back onto the dirt road, the rain whipping us as it continued to fall in heavy drops. We sped in the direction of Veracruz, where the city lights were casting a dull orange glow on the bottoms of the storm clouds.
“The first step is to get rid of this car,” Javier said, his mouth setting in a grim line. “They’ll be looking for it. ”
“There’s always Jose,” Camden said.
I looked at him incredulously. “You have Jose?”
He gave me a small smile. “The car’s a bit battered but yeah I have Jose. It brought me and Gus down here. All your stuff is still in the trunk. ”
Thank god, because all my other stuff was in the hotel room that I wouldn’t be returning to. The only thing I had on me was what fit into my clutch purse: Eleanor Willis’s passport (which was pretty much useless now since Travis knew it was a façade), some makeup, a few pesos and that was it.
“Right,” Javier scoffed. “I’m sure the car isn’t wanted by a few people either. ”
“You mean other than you?” I asked.
He grunted. “The past is the past. We’re better off getting something more inconspicuous, don’t you agree?”
“We’re getting my stuff out of the car, at least,” I told Javi
er. “You can add that to your plan. ”
He made another disagreeable sound but didn’t argue. “Fine. Get your stuff. Get a new car. Head to Mexico City to check on Violetta. ”
I frowned at the mention of his sister. “Check on?”
He nodded. “I’ll tell her to get out of town, go to Marguerite or Alana’s in Jalisco. ”
“And she’ll listen to you?”
He bit his lip for a second. “She knows what happened to Beatriz. She’ll listen. ”
“Who is Beatriz?” Camden asked.
Javier shot him a look as he brought the Jeep onto the main highway. “None of your fucking business. ”
“It’s one of his sisters,” I quickly told Camden. “Travis murdered her. ”
“Of course he did,” Camden said with a sigh, leaning back into the seat. I finally had the strength to watch him for a few moments. The wind was ruffling up his dark hair, his glasses reflecting the lights of the few cars on the highway that were braving the storm. His jaw was strong, lips full but held together tightly. I knew he was tormented but I didn’t know by whom. Was it Javier?
Or was it me?
He took his glasses off and wiped the rain off of them with the sleeve of his tuxedo he had gotten for Travis’s party. It took effort, his brilliant blue eyes wincing with pain. His shoulder was still messed up from being shot.
“Do you have any more of your painkillers?” I asked him.
He closed his eyes and nodded while he slipped his glasses back on. “Now’s not the time. I’ll deal. ”
“Well you certainly dealt with Javier’s face,” I said. It slipped out before I had a chance to take it back. I wasn’t about to start provoking the monster but it was easier said than done.
And provoked him I did.
Javier’s grip on the wheel tightened and he slammed on the brakes so we went skidding across the highway. I screamed, the tires squealing beneath us, as we came to a shuddering stop on the shoulder and he flipped it into park.
“Jesus!” Camden yelled. “Are you trying to kill us?”
Javier immediately whipped out his gun so it was in front of my face and pointed it at Camden.
“No. Now I’m trying to kill you,” Javier sneered, staring down the barrel of the gun.
“Then fucking do it,” Camden said, his eyes blazing, meeting the challenge.
“You shouldn’t tempt me,” Javier countered.
My eyes darted between the two of them and the gun. It wavered slightly, betraying Javier’s smooth exterior. He was damn angry, angry enough to do something stupid. He didn’t need Camden egging him on.
I raised my hands slowly, careful not to touch the gun that was inches away. I spoke carefully, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “Please, please, Javier, Camden, let’s just … let’s just calm down. ”
“Shut up,” Javier said, his eyes flitting to me and back to Camden. “This is all your fault. ”
“How is this my fault?” I exclaimed and then realized it was. I needed to keep my mouth shut. We all did. I looked between the two of them and said, “Okay, I’m sorry. It is my fault. Obviously we’re not getting anywhere if we can’t get along. ”