CHAPTER 11
“Okay, I can fix this,” he said, as if in a trance.
Frankie took the full drink from my hand, set it down, and led me back toward the door to the tunnel.
“I’ll take you home and try to forget about you, and everything will be okay,” he said quietly, so as not to make a scene.
Everyone had gone right on back partying as if the whole world hadn’t just fallen completely apart. We rushed out the way we came in, but as the heavy door at the bottom of the stairs slammed behind us, I couldn’t help but notice the coolness in the tunnels wasn’t nearly as comforting as it had been a short while ago.
“I can’t believe I let myself do this,” Frankie muttered under his breath.
I stopped and stared at him, my mouth open in shock.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said.
“Like what?”
“Like you’re surprised that this didn’t work out. Surely you didn’t think you’d actually be able to date someone like me. Your father’s the Mayor for God’s sake!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugged. “Politics do not mix well with the likes of people like me. You’d think someone like you would know that.”
I glared at him, not sure I’d ever been so upset in my life.
“How can you even think that’s who I am? Don’t you think I hate that my parents run my life for me? Haven’t I proven to you that’s not who I am?”
“Oh I see who you are alright. You’re a girl who got bored one day and decided to find a little excitement in her life. But believe me, the excitement wears off faster than you’d imagine. And then you’re stuck.”
I eyed him up. “You don’t look like you’re that bad off.”
“Oh really? You know, the funny thing is, my life isn’t much different than yours. Do you really think I can just up and leave anytime I want? That I get to make any of my own decisions in this life?”
I crinkled my brow, not understanding.
“Of course you didn’t think of that,” he paused, exasperated that I wasn’t getting what he was trying to say. “Sadie, don’t you see? This life that I have, it isn’t real. Sure I have nice things, but nice things are only worth something if you have the freedom to enjoy them.”
“But you’re a grown man. Why on earth wouldn’t you be free?”
Frankie looked at me like I was some child he had to educate. “This organization I’m in,” he said slowly, so it would really sink in. “They don’t just let people take off whenever they want. Once you’re in, you’re in. For life.” He started walking away. “You don’t know how lucky you are. I only wish I had someone to stop me before I’d gotten into all this.”
I looked at him, not quite understanding.
He sighed and leaned back on the wall of the tunnel. “Look, I was sixteen when I first met the Boss. My family was all gone and the life seemed so… glamorous.”
I suddenly felt ashamed for all the thoughts I’d had the past few days. “But it is glamorous,” I said, maybe more to defend myself than to convince him. “Just look at all the people who admire you.” My jealous side couldn’t help but think of all those women who I’d seen look at him so hungrily in the last couple days.
He whipped his head around to look me in the eye. “Admire me? None of them even know me. There’s not one person on this planet that has any clue who I am. Maybe they admire the suit, or the parties I go to, but believe me, if anyone really knew what I’ve become, admiration would be the last thing on their minds.”
He turned and started walking again, this time with a vengeance. “My God, how did I let this happen?” he said, taking off his hat and ramming his fingers through his hair.
“Let what happen?” I couldn’t help but yell.
I was overreacting, and goodness knows my mother had always taught me that a lady never loses her temper, but I couldn’t help myself. The spinning in my head had come back full-force and I was completely out of control. “What is it you’ve done that is so bad?”
It was just so insulting that Frankie thought the greatest thing that had ever happened to me in my entire life was such a big mistake.
He just kind of smirked. “I guess you’re too sheltered to know.” He got up and started walking.
The words were a slap in the face, meant to hurt, meant to make me like him less. But I knew what was going on. He was trying to make it look like he was the bad guy, trying to make me hate him.
“It’s not going to work, you know,” I said.
“What?”
“You’re not going to trick me into thinking you’re something you’re not.”
He snorted. “No, I guess that’s your game. And by the way, what is it that I’m not?”
I followed behind him, barely able to keep up as he barreled down the tunnel. “You’re not a bad guy. You’re trying to make me think you’re this awful guy who can do whatever he wants and not care who he hurts.”
He stopped, and at first I was relieved to catch my breath, but then I noticed his face, wild, like something had suddenly snapped inside him.
“Not a bad guy?” He leaned in close. “Not a bad guy? If you only knew some of the things I have done in my life, you would run like hell in the other direction. What do you call someone who cheats his way through life? Someone who tricks people? Someone who does things you can’t even imagine are possible?”
“Now you’re just trying to scare me,” I said. “You’re not those things.”
Frankie turned away like he suddenly couldn’t look at me. “Of course you wouldn’t believe the real truth about people, you’re just a naïve little daddy’s girl.”
I tried to breathe, and tried not to let any more tears fall, not wanting to give him the satisfaction, so I marched ahead down the tunnel. “Leave me alone. It’s not like this was ever going to happen anyway.”
“You got that right… doll.” He said, emphasizing the last word, out of spite, no doubt.
But the thing was, I couldn’t help but think that a guy who follows someone all the way back to the club—the only place I knew how to get to in that stupid tunnel maze—and then all the way across town, just to make sure she gets home safe, could not be as bad of a person as he claimed.
After I snuck back through my window—I had remembered to leave a small garbage can for a step this time—I was much too wired to sleep.
I changed into my nightgown and put the doll from my bed back into the closet and crept out of my room, on the prowl for something to read, hoping to get the events of the night off my mind.
I was shocked to hear someone talking as I snuck down the hall. My first instinct was to sprint back to my room, thinking for sure they’d known I’d been out half the night. But I realized if they’d found me out, all the lights in the house would be on and my mother would be frantically pacing. No, this voice was whispered, and I was only hearing half of the conversation. It was obvious that my father was on the telephone. But who could he be talking to in the middle of the night?
I knew I should turn back to my room, but something drew me closer to my father’s study.
“Look Daniel, I think we’re blowing this all out of proportion. I’m sure the raid got those guys thinking. They’re probably busy packing up, ready to head for the hills,” he said.
I pressed myself against the wall and snuck even closer.
“I know you wanted another one tonight, but it’s too dangerous for the people. Someone could get hurt.”
I couldn’t hear the words, but it was obvious that someone, this Daniel, was yelling on the other end. I guess he wasn’t too worried about his family hearing his end of the conversation.
My father sighed. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do. But I still say it’s much too dangerous for the people of the town.” His voice held a hint of worry that I’d never heard in him before. “Look, maybe the only way we could pull it off if we did a bunch of joints at the same time. Get ‘em all at once.”
/>
More yelling came from the other end of the line.
“Yeah, yeah I know.”
I turned to rush back to my room, but a moment later, I was surprised to hear the dialing of the phone.
“It’s me,” my father said. “What the hell were you thinking showing up like that tonight?”
There was a pause while the person on the other end spoke. Given the context of the call, I would expect to hear yelling again, but I didn’t hear a peep. Whoever was on the other end remained collected.
“Look, I can’t protect your guys anymore. I’m getting heat from all directions. All I can say is that they’re ready to raid, and they’re coming hard this time.”
I tried to understand exactly what I was hearing. The first call was obviously one of the people my father answered to. But this, this sounded almost like he was speaking to the bad guys, or who he would call bad guys, anyway. But that couldn’t possibly be the case. My father could never be associated with something underhanded. There was just no way. He was always shouting out from up on his high horse, the perfect man to lead the town to victory. Not that we were ever fighting for anything.
“I don’t know,” he was saying. “I just don’t know. They won’t risk telling me when and where this time. They’re keeping tight lipped on this one.”
More silence.
“I know, and of course I appreciate the money. Believe me, it could not have come at a better time, but the deal was to tell you everything I know, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I can’t afford to ask anymore questions, they’ll figure me out. I’m sorry. I swear that’s all I know.” His voice had taken another turn that I’d never heard before, the fear in it terrified me.
He hung up then, and this time I did rush back to my room.
I tried desperately to make sleep come, but for what seemed like hours, I stared at my ceiling, unable to believe what I’d heard. I couldn’t help but think about Frankie, and what might happen to him, hoping desperately—and hating myself for it—that I’d have a chance to at least see him one last time.