CHAPTER 15
I’d been sent to my room the second I walked in the door. I was as quiet as could be, but somehow my mother still heard me come in, and then nearly fainted at the sight of me.
“How could you go out in public like that?” she asked, wringing her hands nearly right off.
“It’s not like I planned to look like this,” I said.
“But the Benson’s will be here any moment! Get changed before your father sees you!” Her eyes were wide at the thought.
I turned and walked away as quickly as I could. With all the things that had gone on, I could hardly keep the tears inside anymore. And I had completely forgotten about the supper with the Benson’s, some of my parent’s most pretentious friends. Exactly the last thing I was up for.
An hour later, I was cleaned up and looking like the perfect little daughter my parents expected me to be. My sister and I were in matching blue dresses, complete with blue ribbons in our hair. Emily loved it of course, she copied me in practically every way possible, but I was in absolute misery. Not to mention I felt like a five year old. Imagine, my mother still making us dress the same.
But what was worse was listening to Mr. and Mrs. Benson drone on about the state of the city. Of course my father agreed wholeheartedly with them—or at least pretended to—and promised more police investigation to ‘sniff out these thugs.’ It made my stomach tighten.
I made up my mind then. I was going out once more before my father took it all away.
Besides, someone had to warn Frankie.
Maybe it was because of what Annie said that led me to disobey my parents, just this one last time. I knew I was under strict scrutiny and if they decided to check on me, they would be more careful this time, checking more closely, so I didn’t even bother to make up the bed to look like someone was sleeping there.
I got ready in a daze. Well, not a daze really, more like a trance. It was like I had no conscious choice in the matter, I had to go.
There was no question where everyone would be. With a new club opening in town, every other joint may as well be closed.
Everyone would be at Diamonds.
As I mindlessly applied my rouge, I couldn’t fight the feeling that this night would change my life forever, and I didn’t know if it would be for the better, or if it would be for the worse. Unfortunately, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it very well might be the latter. But no matter how much I knew I shouldn’t, I couldn’t stop myself as I lifted that window, taking one last glance at that photo on my nightstand. My family.
I crept across the lawn and out to the street, taking one look back at my house.
Because of the close call with the drunkards the other night, I glanced around constantly now, searching for trouble before it found me. But the streets were quiet, no doubt everyone who was anyone was already having a grand ol’ time at the fancy new gin joint. The silence was mocking me, telling me just how much of a kid I still really was, having to wait until my parents were fast asleep before I dared sneak out. Everyone else seemed to have it so lucky. I just felt like I was waiting for real life to begin.
Oddly, the further I got from the comfort of my home, the more at ease I was. Almost as if the girl living in that big house under constant scrutiny of the Mayor was a stranger rather than the face that looked back at me in the mirror everyday. It struck me that when I was in that big, echo-filled place of formality, it was more like a ghost in the mirror. Someone who was already dead, but just stuck in purgatory until finally, one day she’d be able to move on.
Maybe today was that day. The idea struck me as hopeful, not sad, and a little bounce came into my step as I swung my tiny, jeweled purse a little as I walked. I couldn’t help but feel a bit of a thrill as the skirt of my new ‘Anniefied’ emerald dress skimmed across my thighs, dangerously high. I dared one quick spin, causing the skirt to rise even higher, almost to the brink of indecency. Shivers surged through me at the scandal of it all. I checked to make sure the peacock feather in my headband was at the perfect angle as I neared my destination.
The Boss must have spent extra money on the place for sound dampening because as I stood in front of the door that was to take me into what promised to be ‘the most exciting experience since the gold rush,’ only silence and anticipation penetrated the air.
If I were being honest, I was hoping to patch things up with Annie, and possibly even catch a glimpse of Frankie. Maybe, just maybe, if I kept in his sights as much as possible, I would somehow be able to win him back.
I knocked tentatively on the heavy plank door and stepped back, holding my breath.
Nothing.
With all the noise that was surely going on inside, no one would hear the tiny knock of a silly little girl. I decided then and there to leave that silly little girl, the ghost in the mirror, right out there in that dark alley with the rest of yesterday’s news.
I pulled myself as tall as I could go, hiked my skirt just a smidgeon higher, and forced my shoulders back. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed before, especially considering Annie was always standing like that, but doing so pushed my assets out to where someone might actually notice them. Glancing around to make sure no one was around, and with a sly smile, I unfastened the top button on the front of my dress. The results were positively indecent… and completely adrenaline inducing.
I applied one more coat of lipstick and feeling almost as if I were sexy, I knocked on that heavy old door like I had a purpose. And for once in my life, I actually did.
One of the horizontal boards on the door close to eye level suddenly slid open as if by magic. And the way I was feeling, I could almost believe in magic. A pair of eyes looked back at me, unblinking, and instantly I wanted to run away. But I held my ground and took one step back, putting one hand seductively on my hip and pushing my chest out even further. I may have been mistaken, but the eyes seemed to have widened just a little as they worked their way down me.
“Evenin’,” I said, as if I didn’t have a care in the world, flashing him my best smile. I didn’t even feel silly giving the ridiculous password into the joint. “Alligator Pie good tonight?” I even ended with a wink. Apparently, the Boss didn’t want to chance someone accidentally giving a password without knowing, so he made sure all his passwords were something you wouldn’t normally come across in conversation, and Alligator Pie fit the bill, that was for sure.
I’d never seen a door open so fast in my life. Not even when Annie had waltzed up to the one at The Roxy that first night. A wave of exhilaration surged through me. I never knew I could possess so much power. Not that getting into a gin joint was all that powerful, I supposed, but the fact that I’d done something proactive to move myself forward in life was a whole new feeling for me.
Realizing that, I felt like my life had been utterly pathetic up until now. No wonder Annie’s mother and sister were so happy all the time even though half the town was talkin’ about them. If life could feel this exciting, who the heck cared what the snooty conservatives of this town thought?
I made a pact with myself that I would no longer be one of those people who cared. Of course, my first thought after that was what would my mother think, but hey, who said going against absolutely everything you’d ever been taught your whole life would happen in an instant? It was something I was going to have to work on, but at least I had taken a giant step forward.
I strode into the place as if I owned it, and what happened next was amazing. Nearly every eye in the place turned to look at me. There were girls whispering in the corner, no doubt about how very unbuttoned I was, and judging from the approving looks I was getting from some of the men, it could be jealousy. They only wished they had the confidence to pull it off themselves. I smiled at each and every one of them.
I strolled up to the bar. “What’ll it be, doll? We’ve got a special drink for the ladies tonight,” the bartender said with a wink, in the direction of my chest of course.
“Sounds marvelous,??
? I said, my voice huskier than usual. Maybe it was just the confidence coming out.
The ladies special was creamy and sweet and tasted like whipped cream and Heaven. I was feeling on top of the world.
Silly girl.
I slid over to the end of the bar where it was a little less crowded and turned to survey the room, propping both elbows up on the bar behind me, and crossing one leg in front of the other. I sucked in the musky scent of the room, a deep, satisfying breath that felt like pure power. I could do anything. Heck, I felt like I could save the world if I had to, and in dancing shoes, no less.
Silly girl.
I was so preoccupied by all the attention I’d been getting when I first walked in, that I barely had the chance to notice my surroundings. Everyone was having a good time of course, but it was the room itself that was the real magic. There was no question as to why they named it Diamonds. The whole place sparkled, literally sparkled, from floor to ceiling. The lighting was a little brighter than the other places and the result was positively dazzling. The walls shimmered as if the paint had crushed diamonds mixed in. Every surface glittered as if lit from within. Large diamond shaped jewels hung from every inch of ceiling. The whole room had a feeling of enchantment and movement, like all the bits of light were running and dancing with each other in one giant playground. Even my drink seemed to sparkle. The whole world was giddy.
Silly girl.
I finished my drink in record time and ordered another. The gentleman who’d been staring mercilessly at my er… womanliness, practically threw money at the bar tender to pay for it. Of course, he was approximately my father’s age, but a free drink was a free drink. It wasn’t like my parents would let their perfect little daughter have any sort of a job. Even babysitting my little cousins was “out of the question” according to my father. “Your only job is to study and help me look like the fine, upstanding mayor that I am.”
I nearly rolled my eyes just at the thought of it. If he could only see me now.
I giggled and decided maybe I should move before people thought I was crazy. I thanked the man graciously for the drink—even though I would have given anything for the person who’d bought me the drink to be just about anyone else—and eased away from the bar. The man shocked me by grabbing my arm but I pulled out of his grasp and the bartender gave him a stern look. Maybe these guys were both bartenders and hired muscle. And I do have to admit that I gave more than just a glance at the very muscles in question as I smiled my thanks to him.
But truthfully, I had a much more important guy on my mind. I tried to look as nonchalant as possible, gently holding my straw as I walked and sipped, looking for that one particular gangster in what seemed like a sea of them. Face after face was a disappointment and I neared the end of the room.
I guess my disappointment must have shown all over my face because when I turned around and practically ran into someone with an extremely unfriendly face, the first thing they said was, “And what the hell is the matter with you this time?”