The humor returned to her eyes. "Oh. Well, you said—"
"But I didn't mean it the way you took it."
"Then why don't you want children?"
"This subject is closed."
Callie realized he wasn't going to give her anything more than that. Very well; she would work on that later. For now, she would focus on other things.
"What did you do today?" she asked. "You said you went into town."
"I was making plans to leave for Scotland."
Her heart soared. "You're taking me home?"
"Aye."
"When?"
"Day after tomorrow."
Joy ripped through her. Thoughtless in her excitement, she launched herself into his arms and squeezed him tight as her heart pounded.
Sin sat in shock as she wrapped herself around him. No one had ever hugged him before. Not once. He swallowed at the sensation of her bosom flattened against his chest, of her breath on his neck and the tenderness of her arms around his neck.
She felt wonderful.
Awkwardly, he placed his own arms around her. His blood pounded through his veins as his body roared to life with a heated demand so fierce it left him breathless.
All he could think of was the warmth of her body on his, the way her cheek felt pressed against his.
Before he realized what he was doing, he tilted her chin up with his hand and lowered his mouth to her parted lips.
Sin moaned at the taste of her mouth. The feel of her breath mingling with his as her tongue hesitantly swept against his. She smelled of woman and lilacs, of pure, blissful heaven. He cupped her face in his hands, and just inhaled the scents and feelings of the only tender moment he'd ever known.
His blood rushed in his ears as his body burned for her, and it took every ounce of his strength not to unlace her gown and sample more of her.
Sample all of her.
Callie's head swam at the taste of the man, of the power of his arms around her. His tongue teased hers relentlessly. A deep-seated ache threatened to overwhelm her as he stirred feelings and sensations in her body she'd never before known.
His arms tightened around her body and she could feel the muscles of his back flexing beneath her hands. Goodness, but he was all solid muscle. All manly power.
And she wanted him in a way she'd never wanted anything. The female in her awoke with such a ferocious demand that she was stunned it didn't incinerate her. What was this fire inside her? This ache she had, to strip off his clothes and touch every part of him with her hands? Her lips?
For the first time in her life, she understood what her friends meant when they spoke in hushed whispers about their husbands. No wonder they blushed and giggled.
Kissing was wonderful!
He ran his hands down her back to her ribs. Callie throbbed even more as she arched against him. Instinctively, she rubbed herself against him. He answered her with an animalistic growl as he deepened his kiss and moved his hand to cup her breast through the fabric of her gown. She moaned at the feel of him.
Sin hissed at the way her breast overfilled his hand. At the way she tasted of such sweet innocence and fire. Her hands sought out his body, stroking him, inflaming him. And all he could think of was laying her back and…
He pulled back and stared at her half-open eyes. Her lips were swollen as she breathed raggedly. He could just imagine how she would look in his bed. Imagine how it would feel to claim her.
Tomorrow, she would be his. He could take her then, over and over, until they were both spent.
But in his heart, he knew that would never happen.
He would never allow that to happen.
"Why do you look at me that way?" she asked.
"What way is that?"
"Forlornly. You remind me of a wishful dreamer staring after something he thinks he can never have."
Sin blinked and forced all the feelings from his body as he released her. He gently extricated himself from her and the temptation she offered. "I didn't realize I was doing that."
"You do it quite a bit, actually."
"Well then, I shall have to be more careful, shan't I?"
She leaned forward as if to impart a great secret. "I think you've spent way too much time trying to keep anyone from seeing your emotions."
He snorted at her. "Except for you. You seem to be able to see into my thoughts with uncanny accuracy."
"My father claimed it was my mother's blood. Legend has it her family came from the fey folk."
Sin looked away. "I don't believe in such tales."
"I figured as much. You strike me as a man who will only believe in what he can see or touch."
"Exactly."
"But you know, sometimes it's what you don't see that has the most power."
"Meaning?"
"Love for one thing. It's the most powerful thing on earth, and yet you can't see it or touch it. You can only feel it."
He shook his head at her whimsical words. "Spoken like a true romantic spirit."
"You don't believe it?"
"Remember what you said. I don't believe in anything I can't see or touch."
"So, you've never been in love?"
"Nay. You?"
"Never."
"Then how do you know it's so powerful?"
"Morna told me all about it. She has it for my father even though he's been dead nigh on three years."
Sin didn't like the direction of their conversation, so he sought to distract her to more familiar and comfortable things. "I'm sorry about your father. How did he die?"
"It was an accident in battle. His horse threw him while they were under attack."
Sin picked at his food. He had seen many men perish in such a manner. "I'm glad you weren't there when it happened."
"I wasn't, but poor Dermot was. He hasn't been the same since."
"That must have been terrible for him."
She nodded. "What of you? Were you there when your brother died?"
"Nay. I was in the Holy Land when it happened."
"Was it an accident for him as well?"
Sin swallowed. "Nay, he killed himself."
She gasped at the news and quickly crossed herself. "The poor lad. Why?"
"He felt this love you speak of, and sadly the woman he loved didn't return his devotion, but rather she ran away with another of our brothers."
"I can't imagine anything worse."
Sin could. In fact, he had lived through things much worse. But then, life was nothing if not pain.
They ate in silence for a time, while Callie studied her would-be husband. There was such an air of reserved sadness about him. One of hurt vulnerability, which made no sense to her. How could a man so strong be vulnerable?
A mighty oak can be felled by even the tiniest of insects when one allows them to continually gnaw at it. She hadn't thought about her mother's saying in a very long time. And yet it was true.
She had a feeling there was much that gnawed at the man before her. Though he carried an air of aloofness, surely it bothered him that everyone he met either bore him fear or hatred.
When they finished eating, Sin escorted her to her room. Callie hesitated at the door. Come the morning, the two of them would be united, and she didn't know much more about him now than she had before.
"Thank you, Sin, for humoring me this evening."
Sin gave a subtle nod. He'd enjoyed this night much more than he cared to admit. Normally he took his meals in the silence of his own room. The sound of her voice had been a pleasant change.
Before he knew what she was doing, she placed a tender hand to his face, rose up on her tiptoes and kissed his left cheek. His breath caught at the sensation of her feathery-light lips against his flesh. The warmth of her hand on him.
His body reacted instantly, hardening with desire for her, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and make love to her for the rest of the night.
But he couldn't seem to move. He was held immobile
by her gentleness.
"Good night, Sin," she breathed, leaving him.
He didn't move until she'd stepped into her room and closed the door.
Sin stared at the door, his heart pounding as banished desires flooded him.
In the space of a few seconds, he remembered every time in his life he had ached for someone to hold him. Someone to just pretend they cared for him. Reality had forced him long ago to stop thinking of such things. To stop yearning for desires that would never come true.
And yet…
That hope was back. It was back and it was crippling in its ferocity.
Don't…
He knew better than to let himself be fooled. Foolish desires amounted to nothing but more pain. And he'd been dealt more than his fair share of that emotion.
Sooner or later, she would reject him. He held no doubts. And it would hurt a lot less if he kept himself away from her.
He would take her home to the wild hills that had birthed her and then he would set her free to find a man she could love. A man with whom she had something in common. Someone who knew how to dance and how to sing.
Someone who knew how to love.
And yet even as the thought crossed his mind, a part of his heart ached at the thought of her with another man.
But it was meant to be. Sooner or later, he would have to let her go.
* * *
Chapter 6
« ^ »
Callie trembled with nervousness as Aelfa helped her dress for her wedding ceremony. This was the day she had waited for the whole of her life, and yet she dreaded it as well. Once she made her vow before God, there would be no going back.
From this day onward, she would be wife to a man she knew very little about. Wife to a man who wanted no children and nothing to do with her beloved Scotland. She shivered, hoping that this was what she was meant to do.
Henry had sent a beautiful gown of gold cloth that was trimmed in diamonds, pearls and rubies. His note had said he hoped his gift met with her approval. It was a gown fit for royalty. Even so, she had decided not to wear it. Not that she meant any slight to Henry or his thoughtfulness. But if she was to marry so far from home, she wanted her heritage with her.
Dressed in the nicest saffron kirtle she'd packed for her journey to her aunt's hall, Callie had her father's dark blue, green and yellow plaid wrapped around her. Aelfa had plaited two small braids and draped them gently to rest atop her auburn curls, which were held into a semblance of order by pearl-tipped pins. Callie felt like some fairy creature standing there in her Highland finery.
"You are beautiful, milady."
Callie smiled at the maid as Aelfa handed her the arrow-shaped pin for her plaid. "Thank you."
A knock sounded on the door.
She turned to see Simon pushing it open. He paused as soon as he saw her and grinned wolfishly. "They await you below, my lady."
Jamie opened the door wider and fell into the room from between Simon's legs. The lad had taken up with Simon as of yesterday and she hadn't seen much of him since.
Jamie's eyes were wider than moons as he regarded her. "Gor, Caledonia, you look like Queen Maeve. I hope you're not planning on eating your husband, too."
She laughed. "Nay, but I might be tempted to stew up a bit of a scamp if he doesn't behave."
Jamie stuck his tongue out and ran back into the hallway.
Laughing at the incorrigible imp, she took a deep breath and faced Simon.
"Are you all right, milady?" he asked as he offered her his arm.
She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow, grateful for his presence to see her down to the chapel. "I'm not sure. In spite of his reputation, I don't think Lord Sin is an evil man."
"Nay, but he is a lost one."
"Lost men can be found and brought home."
"Aye, but only if they are willing. Either way, at least you will be in your own home in a matter days."
Callie smiled at the thought. Home. She had missed it so terribly much. She'd been gone almost three months. Seana would have had her baby by now. Her brother Dermot had probably found another love, and Aster would no doubt be twice as gray from worrying over her and Jamie.
It would be good to see all of them again. Even if she had to marry an Englishman to get there.
He's a good man.
She believed that. It was the only thing that made this whole event tolerable. Well, that and the teasing man she'd glimpsed beneath the emotionless facade Sin showed to the world. For whatever reason they had been brought together, she trusted the Lord meant for her to do this. It was her faith that kept her going.
She allowed Simon to lead her to the king's private chapel in the back of the castle, far away from the bustle of the great hall. Aelfa followed them, with Jamie in tow.
The chapel was bright and cheery as they entered. The stained-glass depictions of the Stations of the Cross twinkled over the cobblestone floor. Henry sat to one side of the nave on a small throne, while Sin and the priest waited by the altar.
Her husband still wore his black armor. In truth, she had yet to see him wear anything else. She wondered if he owned any other clothes.
There were no other people in the chapel. Callie swallowed as another wave of trepidation ran through her. This was not how she'd dreamed her wedding would be. She'd always thought to be married in the large courtyard behind her home with her family and friends surrounding her. Aye, there would have been cheers and smiles aplenty, with good wishes and warm hugs.
A severe pang of homesickness washed over her. How she wished at least her uncle could be here with her. He had been like a second father to her and it pained her that he would miss this day. Closing her eyes, she imagined Aster's kind face, his eyes shining with pride as he handed her over to her husband.
She faltered as she realized he would never smile at Sin. Indeed, it would take much doing for her to get him not to snarl and snap. The day would surely never come that her uncle would welcome an Englishman into his family.
Saints above, please let this be the way to peace, she prayed.
Sin stiffened as he saw the pallor of Callie's face and the way she closed her eyes as if unable to bear seeing him at the altar. He couldn't blame her for it. Who wanted to wed the devil's own?
Since the moment the priest had walked in, the man had done nothing but eye Sin warily. Every time he thought Sin was looking the other way, the priest would cross himself and whisper a prayer to St. Jude to forgive him for what he was doing to the poor innocent lamb who was to be sacrificed to Lucifer.
Sin glanced down at his damp surcoat, where the priest had "accidentally" spilled holy water on him. No doubt the man had expected him to shriek in pain and explode into a puff of smoke.
His lips twisted cynically as a sudden movement of his hand made the priest start.
As Callie drew near, Sin reached his hand out to her. She offered him a tenuous smile. She left Simon's side and placed her tiny hand into his.
Sin paused at the softness of her touch. Her soft skin was a soothing balm to his warrior's calluses. A wave of tenderness tore through him, that she would come to him like this. Trust him not to hurt her or her brother.
He was humbled by it.
She looked up, and he saw the promise in her eyes, and it shook him all the way to his frozen heart. Perhaps there could be hope for them after all.
He listened to the priest begin Mass, but the words meant nothing compared to the foreign emotions welling up inside him. He wanted this woman who held a warrior's courage. This woman who could be so trusting of a man who knew nothing of trust.
She deserved so much more than this paltry ceremony. Sin knew very little of women, but the one thing he did know was how important such an event was to them. They spent endless hours of their lives with one another fantasizing over every detail.
His sister-in-law Maggie had been a basketful of nerves on her wedding day. He and his brother Lochlan had had their hands full trying to get
her to the chapel on time. She'd babbled the entire way there telling them how much young women dreamed of their weddings. How she'd planned her day out carefully and if either one of them let anyone or anything botch it, she would bring down the wrath of plagues on both their heads.
He wished he could give Callie a day like that one had been. Maggie had been surrounded by her brothers and friends. Gifts and well wishes had been piled all around for them. There had been music and dancing, and all manner of happiness.
At least Henry had a reception supper planned for them, but they would be surrounded by strangers. Strangers who cared nothing for either one of them. His heart ached for what Callie was missing and he wished he could make it up to her.
He wanted—
"Sin!" Henry's voice intruded on his wandering thoughts. "Have you a ring or not?"
Blinking, Sin glanced to the priest, who was staring at him expectantly. Callie's brow was arched and he realized they must have been waiting several minutes for him to respond.
He reached into his purse and pulled out the small silver box. He'd spent hours at the jeweler's yesterday trying to find something Caledonia would like.
The task had seemed simple enough at the onset, but the many different choices had confused him. Rings came in any variety of colors and sizes, and it had struck him just how little he knew of his wife.
Still, he had listened carefully to the short, pudgy man about what ladies chose and what most men purchased for wedding rings. Indeed, his ears had rung for hours afterward.
He'd never bought a gift for anyone before and he'd had no idea what Callie would prefer.
After an eternity of careful debate, he had found one he hoped was perfect…
Callie bit her lip as Sin placed the ring on her finger.
As she looked at it, tears filled her eyes. The dainty gold band was elegantly carved with roses and thistles, and the deep, dark green emerald shone even in the dim light of the chapel. The roses and thistles were the perfect blend of his English heritage and her Scots blood.
Better still, she remembered Simon asking after her favorite color. How kind of Sin to base his choice on that. And her mother had always said that emeralds were the stones of love. That they signified the unification of the heart and soul, and would bring eternal love to the one who wore it.