Taking her to the bedroom in record time, he placed her gently on the bed. As he looked down at her, he was awed by her beauty.
He'd never been with a woman like her before. All of his previous lovers had known many men before him. But Shahara was still technically a virgin.
She'd been taken, but never loved.
His mouth went dry at the thought. Who was he to be with her like this?
"Syn?" Shahara asked hesitantly as she watched him. Sadness darkened his eyes and he looked as if he, the man who feared nothing, was scared of her. She reached out and took his hand, then pulled him to sit next to her. "Are you all right?"
"I need a drink."
She laughed at his ragged whisper. "I need you."
He looked up at her words an instant before he reclaimed her lips with a hungry kiss that told her how much he needed her as well.
Shahara trembled at his touch and the knowledge that this man who needed no one at all needed her. Her body was alight with a thousand flickering sensations. She touched his loose hair, his face, and marveled at the raw masculine strength of him.
Of everything he'd been through . . .
And still he was whole and here. A survivor like her.
Not a rat, but a wolf who fought to protect his den and those he cared for.
Tonight, she wanted to care for him.
Hating the barrier of his shirt, she pulled the tail of it out of his pants and ran her hands up under it and over the corded muscles of his chest, careful not to hurt his wrapped ribs. Chills spread over his flesh and she felt his nipples harden beneath her questing palms.
He trailed kisses down the column of her throat and in that instant she thought she'd pass out from the sheer pleasure of it. He laid her back against the soft mattress. Her senses whirling, she delighted in his touch.
Until he shifted and she felt his bulge against her thigh as he trapped her against the bed.
Syn felt her stiffen beneath him. Pulling back, he saw panic flickering in her eyes. It was his weight, he realized. She must feel trapped beneath him like she'd no doubt been by her attacker.
Moving to her side, he tried to imagine how hard it must have been for a woman with her strength and self-esteem to find herself weak and ineffectual against someone so much larger. He knew from his own experience how awful it was. To this day, he hated to feel pinned, and if anyone held him down by his throat . . .
It was on in the worst sort of way.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, wishing he could tear the bastard's heart out for hurting her so.
She looked embarrassed until he returned to kiss her. When he pulled away again, he saw her desire burning deep in her golden eyes.
That look mystified him. Why did she want to be with something as foul as he was? Of all the men in the universe, why would a woman like her want to sleep with a no-account filch who had no real future and the bloodiest of pasts?
It defied his comprehension.
Suddenly, her fingers began stroking his chest and all logical thoughts vanished. All he could focus on was the heated desire that swept through every fiber of his being.
Rolling to his side, he pulled her on top of him, buried his hands in her hair, and kissed her lips.
Shahara smiled at her new position, delighting in the feel of his narrow hips between her legs. It was wicked and sweet. Just like him.
The thought made her smile. Sweet . . . a word that really didn't fit with the predator she knew he could be and yet there was no other word to describe what he was toward her. And it made her treasure him all the more.
She pulled his shirt over his head and feasted on the sight of him beneath her. His eyes liquid, he stared up at her with such a tender expression that it took her breath.
A smile curled his lips, showing her his dimple as he reached up and fished his medallion out of her shirt. His warm hand rested between her breasts while he studied it. "Do you want it back?"
He shook his head. "It looks much better hanging between your breasts."
Syn let go, then cupped her buttocks. Pulling himself up, he nibbled at her neck. Shahara squealed in delight. Never before had she felt anything so wonderful.
"Ah, wait," he growled, lying back against the mattress with a fierce grimace. "I forgot to take off my boots."
Poking her lips out, she slid to the side of him. He sat up and quickly snatched his boots off, then threw them to the floor.
Shahara moved behind him. Leaning against his muscular back, she wrapped her arms around his waist and inhaled the scent of his skin. Gah, he felt incredible. All she wanted to do was hold on to him.
Syn moaned at the intimate contact of her breasts against his spine, her hands splayed across his pectorals. Gods, to be held like this forever . . .
"You can do that all night."
For the rest of my life . . .
Shahara brushed his hair back from his neck and placed a tender kiss right at his hairline as she fingered the bandage she'd wrapped around his ribs earlier. Then his jaw. And his dimple. "I just might do that," she whispered, nipping one earlobe between her teeth.
He sucked his breath in sharply.
She delighted in her power over him. Drunk with it, she found the courage to move her hands over the smooth planes of his bare skin, over the bandage and down to the patch of hair that ran from his belly-button and disappeared into his pants. Unlacing the stays, she dipped her hand lower, into the thicker patch of curls until she found what she'd been seeking.
As soon as she touched him, Syn threw his head back so hard it collided with her brow.
"Ow!" she snapped, jumping away.
Rubbing the back of his own head, he turned to face her. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting you to do that. I mean, I'm glad you did it . . . was hoping you would . . . but I wasn't expecting it."
His nervousnes made her smile. So, he could lose his composure. Who knew?
But it wasn't when he was under attack or being confronted. It was a tender hand that knocked him off-kilter. She filed that knowledge away for later examination.
"It's all right." She smiled even though she was still seeing a few stars. "I think I'll live."
With an evil grin, Syn pulled her close and began kissing her forehead where he'd accidentally hit her.
She moaned in pleasure. "I'm definitely feeling better."
He unbuttoned her shirt and trailed a path of kisses to her breasts. She bit her lip as his tongue flicked across the taut peak of her nipple. "I think I just bypassed the whole better thing and have gone straight into the great category."
He nipped at her playfully. "Want to try for ecstasy?"
She arched one brow. "You mean it gets better?"
"Just wait." He stepped away from her and removed his pants.
Shahara's mouth went dry as desire and panic mixed inside her. He was magnificent. And terrifying. Her heart pounded as she looked at the evidence of his attraction to her.
I'm about to have sex . . .
Me.
She swallowed and fought the urge to run for the door. This was it. She couldn't back out now, and deep inside she admitted that leaving was the last thing she really wanted to do.
No, she'd be strong. She wanted this.
She wanted him.
Syn returned to the bed. Hesitantly, he moved his hands to the opening of her shirt. "May I?"
Warmed by his question, she nodded.
He pulled it off and left her bare before him. A chill stole up her spine as the cool air brushed against her naked skin. She felt terribly vulnerable and shy.
And then Syn was there, pulling her into his arms. Once again he rolled over, placing her on top of him.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, running his hands over her.
Heat stole up her cheeks as she leaned forward to claim his lips. She skimmed her hands through his hair, delighting in the silken strands that slid through her fingers as her own hair cascaded forward to drape around them in a dark curtain.<
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He ran his hands over her back and down her buttocks. Fire coursed through her veins and a painful throb started that erased her memories of Gaelin's brutality.
Even though a part of her was scared, she knew this was the one man who wouldn't hurt her.
And she ached for him in a way unimaginable.
Syn closed his eyes as he savored the taste of her body. He'd never made love to a woman who knew anything about him. At least nothing more than the lies he'd told her.
But Shahara had stared into the abyss of his soul and seen the monster that lurked there. And she hadn't run.
Why?
What made her able to see the man when no one else ever had? In this one moment, he would give her anything.
Even his life.
I'm lost.
Lost in a way he'd never been before. Not even with Mara. Shahara made him want to be something more than a drunken thief and a paid killer.
She made him want to be a hero . . .
Pulling back, he stared at her dilated eyes and saw the ragged pleasure on her face. And as he gazed at her, he realized the truth.
I'm not lost. I'm found.
She'd pulled him out of the darkness of his past and brought him into a light he'd never known existed. Here in this one moment, he understood intimacy in a way he'd never known it before.
Shahara knew him. She knew the horrors of his past. The degradations and humiliations he'd suffered, and still she was with him by choice. Closing his eyes, he savored the sensation of her fingers laying against his cheek. He covered her hand with his own and marveled at how such a gentle touch could bring him to his knees.
Blows he could take. But it was the gentle hand of a woman that could truly destroy him.
How was that possible?
I'm a fool.
But only for her.
Shahara hesitated as she saw the troubled look on his face. "Is something wrong?"
He shook his head. "Not at all."
"Then why do you look so stern?"
Syn gasped as her soft hip brushed against his cock and his body exploded with pleasure. For a moment, he thought he might actually come from it, but he bit his lip hard enough to make sure the pain kept his release at bay.
When he could finally speak again, his voice was raw. "It's not directed at you, love. I'm just trying not to embarrass myself."
"How?"
He laughed as he realized that for a woman who knew her way around the universe and could handle the deadliest of criminals, Shahara was terribly naive. "Have you ever heard the expression, ladies first?"
"Yes."
"Well it's truer in bed than it is anywhere else." "I don't understand."
He kissed her brow that was wrinkled by confusion. "Trust me, sweetness, you're about to."
Shahara was completely baffled until he brushed his hand against the part of her that was on fire. She shivered as his fingers stroked her. For a moment, she was paralyzed by how good it felt. Never had she experienced anything like it.
His gaze held hers as he rolled her over and placed himself between her legs. A wave of embarrassment hit her, but before she could even move, he scooted down in the bed until he was able to dip his head and take her into his mouth.
Throwing her head back, she cried out at the sheer ecstasy of what his tongue was doing to her. "Syn?" she breathed.
He answered her by gently scraping his whiskers against her cleft.
A fierce tremor shook her as he licked and teased until her body exploded into the most incredible pleasure she'd ever known.
Syn growled as he felt and tasted her orgasm. He looked up and took pride in the fact that he'd given her something no one else had. His breathing ragged, he slid himself up so that he could lay by her side and stroke her breast.
Shahara was dumbfounded by her body as Syn pulled her on top of him and kissed her lips.
He nibbled and teased. "Did you like that?"
She nipped his chin. "Not even a little. It was completely horrifying."
He laughed at her sarcasm, then his eyes turned dark while he slid his hand down her back, to her hip. "Are you ready for what comes next?"
Him inside her.
Biting her lip, she was overwhelmed by his kindness.
Because he knows exactly what was taken from you. His innocence had been stolen from him too.
"I'm ready."
His gaze held hers as he lifted his hips and slowly impaled her. Shahara gasped at the strange thickness of his body filling hers. It didn't hurt, but it wasn't exactly comfortable.
"You okay?" he asked, his entire body tense.
She nodded.
He cupped her face in his hands. "All right, love. It's entirely up to you now. You set our pace and I'll abide by it."
"I don't understand."
He lifted his hips up, driving himself even deeper inside her. She gasped as a wave of intense pleasure pierced her body. Slowly, he showed her the rhythm.
Syn watched as she took over and found the pace she was most comfortable with. He watched her with hooded eyes, amazed by her spirit and passion.
This was the kind of woman a man dreamed of keeping in his life. The kind of woman who would fight for him and defend him to the end.
If only he could have been someone different. Someone she deserved.
Shahara delighted in his touch as he slid his hand down to stroke her cleft while she moved against him. Leaning her head back, she savored the raw feel of his body inside hers and the sweet satisfaction that pounded with each thrust and stroke.
Suddenly, she forget all the fear that had haunted her most of her life. Syn freed the part of her that had been locked away and she wanted to laugh with the triumph of it. It bubbled up through her with wave after wave of happiness until she was sure she couldn't keep her laughter inside.
But that would probably not be a good thing to do while he was making love to her. He just might misinterpret the source of her humor.
So instead, she leaned forward and kissed him.
He stopped moving and, before she could withdraw from her kiss, he leaned her back against the mattress.
He left her lips and hovered above her. At his hesitation, she looked up into his eyes and saw that he was waiting to make sure she was all right. She smiled, and again he entered her and took over their play.
Syn's heart sang as she dug her nails deep into the flesh of his back. Never in his life had he felt like this. She wasn't some acquaintance he barely knew, this was a woman he cared for, a woman he'd protected. A woman who had fought for him. And the union of their bodies gave him more pleasure than he'd ever thought possible.
For the first time in his life, he felt as if he mattered to someone. That maybe, just maybe people didn't have to use each other.
Maybe Shahara was right. Maybe life was better than his cynical view.
Shahara saw his eyes change and, if she didn't know better, she'd almost swear she saw love shining back at her. But that was ridiculous. He didn't love her. He was only doing what she'd asked him to.
Teaching her that this one act wasn't something to be feared.
Syn growled in her ear, then buried his head in her neck. Smiling, she wrapped her legs and arms around him as he sped up the pace. A thousand flickering flames danced in her body, each one burning hotter than the last as she arched her back to draw him in deeper to help ease the new ache that had started throbbing deep inside her.
She clenched her teeth, needing release and when it finally came she screamed out in relief. She tightened her hold on him and he continued to drive her ecstasy on until she was ready to beg him for mercy.
And just as she finally began drifting back to herself, she felt him shudder.
He held her close until he was completely spent. "I think I just died," he whispered in her ear.
Brushing his damp hair back from his brow, she laughed. He raised up and kissed her tenderly.
As he started to move away, she jerked and hi
ssed.
"What?" he asked, his brows drawn together in concern.
"My hair," she gasped. "You're . . . on . . . my hair."
"Sorry." He gently pulled strands out from under his body, then he moved off the bed and into the bathroom.
Shahara rubbed at the sore spot on her head while she waited for him to return.
After a few minutes, he came back with a warm washcloth. "Are you sore?" He climbed back in bed.
"No." And that fact amazed her as she remembered how badly she'd been physically hurt after Gaelin's attack. She'd barely been able to walk and her body had ached for a full week.
But there was no pain now. All she felt was an indescribable pleasure.
He smiled and pulled back the covers. Gently, he rubbed the washcloth between her legs, cleaning away all evidence of his claiming her.
While his hand stroked her, he pulled her to him for another kiss. Shahara closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his tongue while he continued to tease her. Why had she ever been afraid of this?
But then she knew. Other men weren't this kind or understanding. Sighing in contentment, she decided it wasn't so bad after all.
Until he moved away again.
"You've got to quit doing that," she groused. The bed felt terribly cold without him.
He returned a few minutes later with his wine. "Want some?"
She took the glass and drank a quick sip while he rejoined her. The sweet, dry flavor rolled across her tongue and she enjoyed the luxury. Normally she didn't imbibe.
One, she didn't want her senses numbed in case she needed to go to work unexpectedly and two, she couldn't afford it.
But this . . . this was really good.
Syn stacked up pillows behind him, then laid back. Handing him the wine, Shahara leaned her cheek against his chest so that she could hear the beating of his heart while he gently stroked her hair. She toyed with his bandage. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
He laughed at her question. "Definitely no. But now that we're finished . . . I remember why I got drunk."
"Do you need any pain meds?"
He shook his head. "I've had too much alcohol for that."
She was baffled by his choice. "Wouldn't it have been easier to take meds than get drunk?"
"Yes, but I function better on the bottle. Meds mess with reflexes and make my ass drag. I'm so used to being drunk that all it does is numb the pain."
She rolled her eyes at him. "You're so full of shit."
He looked offended. "I know it defies logic, but I promise you, alcohol has no effect on my response time. It didn't effect my father either. Some weird genetic defect."