Just like me.
Shahara's insides shrank at his words.
"But not her," he continued. "She was so sheltered and unjaded. I knew in an instant that she'd never had a moment of fear or hunger. No demons haunted her. She had a past that I envied. And I thought that maybe, if I spent some time with her, maybe I could pretend I'd had a different past, too."
"And she loved you," Shahara said, her voice catching on the last words.
"No. She wanted the prestige of being married to a doctor. For some reason I never understood, she was embarrassed by her parents and their lowly pleb status. Her father was a salesman and her mother a computer tech." He laughed bitterly. "Ironic, huh? I would have killed to have parents like hers and she wanted nothing more than to forget they existed because she wanted better."
Though his voice was flat, she couldn't shake the feeling that he still cared for his ex-wife. His eyes had belied his indifference while he described her.
"How long were you married?"
"Six long years."
Nonplussed, she lifted herself up on one elbow to look down at him. "If they were so miserable, why did you stay?"
"Because she was respectable. Our life together was respectable and that was all I'd ever wanted. So what if she was the most pretentious woman alive? At least she was a lady. In public, she was the most gracious, enchanting woman you could imagine. She knew every tiny piece of etiquette. Hell, she even knew which piece of cutlery went with what dish."
Unlike me. Shahara's heart broke with the knowledge. Whether he admitted it or not, Syn still craved that life. She could see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice.
She would never be that type of woman. They both knew that.
He could never be happy with her.
She wanted to die. How could she have been so foolish not to see it before?
He frowned at her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She cleared her throat and changed the subject. "Do you ever wish you could go back?"
"No. Not to her. I wish I could be a legitimate doctor again. And I would sell my soul to have my son's love back. But the rest . . . What the hell, I guess. I've sold myself for a lot less over the years."
Shahara raised up to look down at him. "Mara was a fool, Syn. If she couldn't see all the wonderful things you are, she definitely doesn't deserve you and I'm glad you're rid of her."
Syn's breath caught at the conviction he heard in her voice. For a minute, he could almost believe her.
And when she lowered her lips to his, he could almost believe in miracles again.
Don't be stupid.
Dreams were for fools, and honest, decent women like her didn't involve themselves with trash like him. Not for long, anyway.
Unwilling to lie to himself anymore, he pulled back and sighed. "We need to get cleaned up. It won't be long before we reach Ritadaria."
"You think we're going to find that chip?"
"No. I personally think we're going to die."
CHAPTER 16
Syn hissed as Shahara nipped his chin with her teeth. Hard. "That. Hurt."
"Be grateful I showed restraint after that last comment, buddy." But there was fear in her eyes as she looked at him. "Just out of curiosity, where did you leave the chip when you hid it all those years ago?"
He rubbed his hand over his chin in an effort to dispel some of the pain she'd given him. "In an office down the hallway from Merjack's."
She gaped at him. "You what?"
He shrugged. "I told you, I was a scared kid. I only had a few seconds to stash it before they took me. I figured it was the safest place."
Shahara was flabbergasted by the news. What an act of supreme stupidity. "You don't honestly think the chip's still there?"
"Don't know. It's been a couple of decades since I dumped it. Let's hope for a miracle."
A miracle? A flippin', farkin' miracle?
Was he insane?
"You're on drugs, aren't you? Go ahead and admit it."
He snorted. "I haven't done drugs since I was in my teens and Nykyrian threatened my life if I ever used again. Bad thing about having an assassin as a friend. When he makes a threat against your life, you know it's not one. He means it."
She didn't find his dry humor amusing in the least. Not when their lives were hinging on a miracle. "And where in the office did you dump it?"
"I secured it to a piece of statuary."
Oh, it just got better and better. Her stomach hit the floor as she stared at him in contemptuous disbelief. They were so wasting their time. The odds of that person still being there . . .
Of the statue still being there . . .
She might as well shoot herself now and save the Rits the cost of the blaster charge. "Do you at least know whose office?"
"No. That's why I made the map."
She ground her teeth. "I'm going to kill you. Why are we even bothering? Do you know what the odds are that it's still there?"
"I don't play the odds, love. Never have."
She rolled her eyes and wanted to beat him until he bled . . . more. "And if the statue's gone?"
"We're screwed."
She let out a long, irritated breath. "That's what I like about you, Convict. You always keep things interesting." Meeting his gaze again, she frowned. "How did you get the map, anyway?"
"I drew it once I escaped jail."
"Then I was right--you did intend to one day clear your name."
A strange look crossed his face an instant before he rolled over and got up.
"Why did you wait, Syn?"
He growled as if aggravated by her interrogation. "Things came up. I didn't have the time nor the inclination."
Her frown deepened. That didn't make any sense. The Syn she'd grown to know wouldn't have been so lackadaisical about his freedom. "Like what?"
Syn sighed as he remembered all the reasons he'd made for not exposing Merjack. In the end, it came down to one thing--who would ever believe the son of Idirian Wade accusing the man who was credited with bringing down his father? Sheridan Wade was filthy trash, and if his stints in prison had ever taught him anything, it was that people like him got screwed while people like Merjack screwed everyone else and got away with it.
Had he even tried to clear his name, he would have probably been executed for it. The way the media skewed things, they'd have called it a vendetta accusation and crucified him over it. The only reason he was trying to set the record straight now was that Shahara's sterling reputation as a seax might negate the stigma.
Maybe.
But he didn't want to share that with her. She would dismiss it and call him paranoid--because in her world, honesty prevailed. In his world, it got people killed.
"Forget it."
Shahara wanted to curse. His tone told her that it'd be wise to heed him. This time, anyway.
Still, the mystery tantalized her.
How she wanted to understand his reasoning. What would have caused him to continue running when all he had to do was turn the chip over to the authorities? That had to be simpler than living with all the people who'd been sent to track him down over the years.
Maybe she didn't know him so well after all.
Once they were showered and dressed, they joined Vik and Nero on the bridge. Nero didn't say a word, but Shahara had a feeling he knew exactly what they'd done.
"We're coming up on Ritadaria," he told Syn. "Bet you never thought you'd be back here."
"Not alive, anyway. What about you?"
"As a tracer and tracker, I bill them, but it doesn't mean I like it here any more than you do. I try to avoid coming to the planet as much as I can."
Shahara frowned. "Aren't you afraid they'll arrest you?"
Nero snorted. "I wasn't a convict, Dagan. I was an illegally purchased slave. My owner"--he sneered the term--"has no legal claim on me. And I'm no longer a kid learning my powers. I'm a full-grown man with an ax I want to bury in the forehead of anyone dumb enough to come at me
. I defy the bastards to try something now."
A chill went down her spine as she realized he was every bit the predator Syn was. And she never wanted to be on the bad side of either man.
Syn took the copilot chair to help guide them in. "Any of the people you work for know what you are?"
"Nope. I kill anyone who learns."
"Good."
Yeah, but not for the ones they killed. Shahara made her way to her seat. Vik, back in his bird form, came over to sit by her.
"What are you doing?" she asked him.
"I'm hanging with you 'cause you seem to be a little more sane."
Syn made a sound of irritation. "Traitor."
"Luntic," Vik shot back.
Shahara laughed as she put Vik in her lap in preparation of their landing. "It's all right, sweetie. I've got you."
He manifested two arms to give her a hug.
She had no idea why, but his actions touched her. "Thank you, Vik. I needed that."
He walked himself up to sit in the chair beside her before he laid his head on her thigh.
A few minutes later, they docked in the main city on Ritadaria in broad daylight. Syn cursed their luck as he locked down the ship's systems.
She scanned the security that was milling around the bay. "Do you think Merjack's trackers are here?"
Syn shook his head. "Probably not. The prison's on another continent. But considering how well known my father was and how many people still remember him, it'd be easy for someone to ID me based on looks alone--which was how that fucking reporter found me. Her father was being treated in my hospital when she saw me in the hallway. She put two and two together and then came at me. I'd hate for that to happen again."
Her, too.
Looking at their borrowed uniforms that didn't really fit, she smirked. "And we're not really dressed to blend in here."
He gave a short laugh. "No, we're not. People will definitely notice us."
Nero crossed his arms over his chest. "I can shield you to a safe zone. No one would see you at all."
Syn hesitated at Nero's offer. "How much drain will it cost you?"
"If you don't go far, it won't be bad."
Shahara glanced out the windows at the milling bay attendants and passersby. As a large port, it was incredibly busy. Aliens and humans bustled about, trying to either board a ship or disembark for the city. There were a large number of customs officials and security guards, baggage handlers and hawkers.
She didn't like the sight of this at all.
"Should we stay on board until dark?"
Syn shook his head. "Too suspicious. We'll have to leave and find a nice cubbyhole until dark."
Not another cubbyhole. She'd had just about enough of his questionable safe places. "Can I put in a suggestion?"
The men turned to face her with raised brows.
Shahara lifted her hands and started counting off her demands. "Let's find someplace where there aren't any dead people, insects, or rodents. For that matter, someplace that's big enough to accommodate both of us without crimping any internal organs."
Syn scoffed. "Picky, picky, picky. If you think it's so easy, why don't you come up with a place to hide?"
"Fine with me."
He grinned. "All right, then, you lead the way."
Nero stood up. "You want cover?"
Syn looked at her before he answered. "Yeah, if you don't mind. Let's play it safe. I'm not in the mood to run right now and I know fighting is suicide. Last thing I want to do is make my enemies happy by dying."
She lifted her pack from the floor. "Are you staying with us?" she asked Nero.
"Just till I get you two parked, then I'm out."
She was a bit surprised by that, but Syn seemed to expect it.
"We've got to get out of here soon or the locals will want to know what the holdup is." Syn took Vik out of the pack. "All right, buddy. I need you on the street to scout. You see the grays coming at us, let me know."
"Yeah, that's nice. Put the poor bot out in the cold to look for local enforcers. You suck, boss." Vik turned into a bird.
Laughing at his surliness, Shahara led the way to the door. Nero and Syn followed after her. She looked back over her shoulder and had a chill go down her spine at their collective intensity. It wasn't often a woman saw one, never mind two men so gorgeous, but their combined auras of raw masculine power was truly impressive.
"So how does this shield thing work?" she asked Nero.
"They'll see you, but no one will pay attention to you. It's like a reflection or an inhibitor. Their focus will be on anything other than the two of you. You'll blend right into the background."
"That's a nice power to have."
"Yes, it is."
She pressed the controls to lower the ramp. "All right, Syn. One cubbyhole coming up. Just remember you have to bear my choice with the same grace and even-tempered temerity I've shown with yours."
He snorted. "Good. I get to whine and bitch. Can't wait."
Shaking her head at him, she left the ship first. Vik took flight and quickly left them behind.
Once they were outside the landing bay and stood on the street, she realized what Syn had meant about daylight. Though it was around noon, it looked more like dusk. She started to suggest they go ahead to the office building until she realized how many people lived and worked here. It literally looked like a sea of bodies.
No doubt the building would be crammed full of people as well. "How long do we have to wait before we can go after it?"
Syn shrugged. "I don't know how much things have changed, but people used to vacate the prime district after working hours."
Nero nodded in agreement. "You'll have to hold up another six, seven hours to be safe. The streets get completely vacant about two hours after that."
"Then that's our plan." Syn looked at her. "So where do we go?"
Looking up and down the street, she tried to find someplace they could stay for that amount of time and not evoke anyone's suspicions. Hundreds of people and aliens walked around them, while busy shuttles, rovers, and transports skidded along the road.
Tons of stores, hotels, and restaurants lined the street. Well, they couldn't very well shop for that amount of time, nor eat.
As for a hotel . . .
Those places always demanded identification, which would prove impossible to provide since they were both wanted dead by the local government.
Maybe the sewer wasn't such a bad idea after all.
"What's the name of this city?" she finally asked Syn.
"Shasra. Why?"
"Just curious." Again she scanned the spindly buildings that spiraled up and sideways all around them in search of a promising destination.
Finally, Syn huffed irritably and moved around her. "You stink at this, you know that? I'd hate to ever go shopping with you if it takes you this long to make a decision." He jerked his chin toward Nero. "Don't forget, Scalera can't hold his shield forever."
"Not unless I want a nosebleed and headache. No offense, I'd rather pass on that oh-so-joyful misery."
She glared at them and their combined sarcasm. "Fine, then. What's your brilliant suggestion?"
Without answering her, Syn led her across the street to a hotel. Shahara lifted her brows in surprise. What was he thinking? How could that offer them any shelter?
Syn paused at the door and looked at Nero. "I'll take it from here. Thanks for the assist, bro."
Nero held his arm out to him. "You never cease to surprise me."
"How so?"
"You're the only one who knows how to bring me low and yet you never do." He shook Syn's arm and gave him a look of supreme respect. "Stand strong and stay free."
"You, too."
Pulling him in for a quick man hug, Nero stepped back. "And you take care, too, Shahara. Remember the lies we tell ourselves to survive seldom bring peace to our souls."
She scowled as he walked away. "What did he mean by that?"
Syn shrugged. "You must have something guilty on your mind. He can read thoughts and see futures at times, so there's no telling what he knows that you don't."
"And what did he mean about you?"
"I know what weakens him and I've never tried to enslave him with it. I wouldn't do that to him, but he still has a hard time accepting the fact that I know who and what he is and I don't use it against him."
It was a rare thing and Syn was remarkable that way. "So are we really going to stay here?"
"No better place." He opened the door and entered first, then held it open for her as she followed.
Inside the elegant lobby, she became instantly aware of her dirty clothes and lack of sophistication. Wealthy people and aristocrats milled all around, some of them just plain rude as they eyed her dusty uniform with distaste. They were all so impeccably dressed in clothes that would pay her bills for at least six months . . .
Or more.
Gah, Nero, come back and shield me from these people. She hated how, with nothing more than a disdainful look and curled lip, they could make her feel less than nothing and beneath them. Awkwardly, she brushed at her disheveled hair, trying to smooth the frizz.
Syn caught her hand and pulled it down. The fierce look on his face chilled her. "Don't pay any attention to them. They're the ones in the wrong here and you're worth more than all of them put together. Value isn't calculated by a person's net worth or income. It's calculated by integrity and decency. The only people in this room worth a damn are the ones who don't care how we're dressed. If you look, you will see the ones who matter. The rest of them can all go to hell."
She offered him a trembling smile at his wisdom and kindness. That was why she loved him. And he was right. There were wealthy people in the room who didn't pay any attention to them whatsoever and a couple who even offered a friendly smile.
Still, it didn't take away the sting of disdain from the others. The pain they needlessly inflicted on her battered soul as they reminded her that she wasn't good enough to be among them. Even the hotel staff looked at her as if they feared she'd spit on the floor.
Or do something worse.
Tucking her hand into the crook of his arm, Syn strode up to the counter as if he owned the place. His head high and spine straight, he looked at them with a defiance she wished to the gods she possessed.
Then again, he was probably used to such places. Unlike her, he made enough money to be able to pay for such luxuries. For that matter, he probably out-earned most of the snobs they passed and had enough money to buy the hotel outright.