Chapter 13
Summer School
Keeping good on my promise to Ms. Mae and Erzulie, I hauled myself out of bed early the next morning in order to attend my first lesson in voodoo. The weather was an accurate reflection of my mood, dark and gloomy, a sure indication that it was going to start pouring any second. Sabrina’s snores filled the entire room as usual. I was surprised to see that she actually managed to sleep in the same room as me and hadn’t crashed in Lucus’s room again.
Downstairs the kitchen smelled inviting as always, and since I was too mad to eat dinner last night, my stomach was begging for something made out of chocolate.
“Arelia, you made it.” Ms. Mae greeted me, looking radiant as usual in an aquamarine blue dress with a matching headscarf. The colors made her green eyes appear even brighter.
“You’re not looking too well,” Henri noted as he sipped what smelt like French coffee.
Ms. Mae came over to me and put her hand on my forehead. “Temperature’s alright, you haven’t been eating well, that’s the problem. You’ve been running around and neglecting to put anything in that tiny stomach of yours.”
I rolled my eyes. Did I really look like crap? It was early, and my eyes were puffy in the morning, they didn’t have to make me feel bad about it. Plus, it was way too hot to eat. “It’s too hot to eat full meals,” I complained. “I can really go for iced coffee and chocolate though.”
“Pierre, make my niece some iced coffee and some Creole Pancakes,” Ms. Mae ordered the plump chef who was standing over the stove. “Ivan, please bring them to my office when they’re done.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Ivan responded. Oh great, I was never going to hear the end of this. Ivan smirked at me from the corner of the kitchen. He was fully aware that I was embarrassed by Ms. Mae bossing him around and asking him to bring me breakfast.
“Arelia, come with me,” she commanded. Henri gave her a kiss and excused himself to attend some chores.
“I’ll be right there,” I replied lingering back, so I could tell Ivan that I could get my own breakfast.
“Don’t worry, queen, your breakfast is coming right up.” Ivan gave me a curtsy like people probably gave Will and Kate.
“I don’t need you to do me any favors. I’m waiting here so I can get it myself.”
“Sure, I hear you. Pierre, don’t keep the queen waiting.”
“Pierre, don’t listen to him; take all the time you want.” When Pierre was done with breakfast, I helped myself and headed towards Ms. Mae’s office. “What is all this?” I asked as I examined the various substances that filled the jars on the shelves.
“Have a seat,” Ms. Mae directed pointing to a wooden chair and managing to ignore my question. “I assume that you’ve started reading the book I gave you.”
“Yes.” I started last night. I had brought it downstairs with me, but it was so heavy, I was relieved to have a place to put it down.
“So what have you learnt so far?” she sternly asked.
“You know the usual. Black cats, voodoo dolls,” I retorted, still not taking the whole thing seriously.
“Please be serious, Arelia,” her voice filled with irritation. I had to admit I was being a little immature, but my iced coffee hadn’t kicked in yet. “What is the difference between hoodoo and voodoo?”
“They start with different letters,” I shrugged.
Ms. Mae repressed a laugh and tried to maintain her somber expression. “Yes, but there are more differences than just a letter. Hoodoo is pure magic, without the help of the spirits while voodoo is magic with the aid of the spirits. The LaRue family tradition uses both voodoo and hoodoo. We ask the spirits for help and guidance but also rely on the earth’s natural properties to conjure and carry out other magical rituals.”
“Okay, what does that mean exactly? I don’t really know if I truly believe in all of this or anything like that.”
After examining me for a moment, Ms. Mae eventually spoke. “You can choose to believe or not to believe; in the end what you are meant to do eventually will find you. You can spend your life running and living in denial or be brave and accept the reality of your destiny. This isn’t something you choose. It selects you.”
“Why should I accept it? Why me? What makes me different? I don’t get it.” I could feel myself getting frustrated. “Why do I have to be a voodoo queen?”
“You have to accept that not all souls are equal. Some are strong while others are weak. It doesn’t matter how long a soul has been roaming around, some will never be as influential as others. It’s a just a myth that we are all equal. People go running around thinking that they can offer their soul to the Devil, and he will come and shower them with riches,” she paused for dramatic effect. “The Devil’s no fool and he doesn’t want any old soul, he wants the powerful ones. The spirits also only help the ones that are strong enough to accept their gifts.”
“So, what you’re saying is that, my soul is worth more than others?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t buy that.”
“Oh, my dear Arelia, you’re always trying to be so logical.” Ms. Mae frantically shook her head. “Not everything is black and white. There are some things that are not meant to be proven logically, they just are. They have existed long before us and will continue to do so long after we leave this earth. Now my child, if you want me to explain the specifics of how or why you are powerful, why us LaRue woman are gifted, I cannot help you. On the other hand, if you are willing to listen to me and learn, I can help you develop your powers. So the question is, are you willing to believe? Are you willing to put aside all of your doubts and fully embrace your destiny, or are you comfortable living in denial?”
“I guess I’m willing to give it a try.” I didn’t really have anything to lose.
“There is no giving it a try, once you start, things will never go back to normal,” Ms. Mae warned.
“Great, so I won’t have to live in that cramped apartment with James always breathing down our necks to pay him the rent on time? That doesn’t sound too bad. I’m in.”
My choice pleased Ms. Mae immensely. “Perfect, let’s not waste any more time then. However, before we officially begin, I need you to understand you will be officially initiated when I deem appropriate.”
“Initiated? My blood isn’t going to be involved is it?” I felt nauseous at the thought of her trying to fill a cup up with my blood and offering it to some random spirit. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this after all. It was getting serious now.
“Just a tiny bit,” she replied. “Since you are already blessed by Erzulie, you have no need to undergo a formal ordination. However, to complete the bond, you need to pledge your dedication and accept your post as a voodoo queen. This can only be done after you undergo sufficient training with me.”
I froze. When she put it that way, it sounded more than a little serious. “Can I have a minute?” The room was starting to move, my pulse was racing. I was sure I was having a heart attack or at least a panic attack.
Ms. Mae looked at me without an ounce of concern. “Take your time, my child. There’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Fear, doubt, and hesitance are all normal emotions under these circumstances.”
“They are?” I stuttered.
“Yes, that is what makes us human.”
I got up and clutched the door handle. “I’m just going to get some fresh air. It’ll only be a minute.” I rushed out before she had a chance to respond. I found my way into the kitchen and let myself into the little back garden. I had to talk to Grand-mere Bea. What if she was right and all of this was too dangerous? A part of me wanted to run away and forget Darkwood and the stupid money. However, a larger part of me wanted to stay. I dialed home, praying that Grand-mere was there and could offer me some advice.
“Hello.” Grand-mere Bea picked up on the first ring.
“Oh thank God!” It was so good to hear her voice. Even though I had promised her that I would cal
l every day, things hadn’t exactly worked out that way. We hadn’t spoken since I had confronted her about Ms. Mae.
“Arelia, I’ve been so worried about you. Why haven’t you called?” She sounded angry, but she would eventually get over it.
“I know I should have called. I’m sorry, but I’ve been busy.” My excuse sounded lame even to my own ears.
“I’m sure you have.” She knew something was up. “So I take it you’re going to be studying with Mae?”
“I think so. I want to, but I’m not sure.”
“Don’t let me hold you back. Like I’ve always said, we are all responsible for the choices we make, and there’s no changing that. If you feel that you have to study with Mae then do so, but beware of the consequences of your actions.”
“I know, Ms. Mae said that there would be some kind of initiation. It all sounds so serious to me.”
“It ought to sound serious because it is. There won’t be any going back once you start.”
I groaned. “Ms. Mae said the exact same thing, you know.”
“Well she better have because it’s the truth. That’s just the way it is.”
“I do want to come home, but I just can’t.” I didn’t understand what was keeping me here, so how could I explain it to her any better?
“Tsk tsk tsk. I take it you’ve met Lucus?”
“What? How do you know Lucus? And even if I did run into him, what difference does that make?”
“Please, Arelia. I still know what goes on at Darkwood, even if I don’t live there. Of course I know about Lucus. Be careful- once your heart gets involved, all reason goes out the window.”
“My heart isn’t involved,” I protested. It was a little too loud for my own liking. What was I trying to prove?
“I know you better than I know the hairs on my own head. I know you’ve never given your heart away to anyone, but I also know that when you do you won’t be taking it lightly.”
“This has nothing to do with a boy, especially not Lucus. Besides, Sabrina has already sunk her claws into him.”
“It doesn’t matter what Sabrina does or doesn’t do, what matters is what you do. Sometimes the hardest thing any of us can hope for is finding the courage to be honest with ourselves.”
“I am being honest,” I claimed.
“Sure you are.” She wasn’t convinced. “Let me warn you though, Arelia, Lucus comes with a great deal of baggage. I’m not allowed to say what as that isn’t my place. I can’t stop you from being close to him, but you do need to be careful.”
“You don’t need to worry about me developing any type of feelings for Lucus. It hasn’t happened and it won’t.” Even as I said those words, they sounded so empty and hollow. They sounded like I was trying to convince myself of what I was saying. “The only thing I’m freaked out about is all the spirit stuff, and of course the responsibility of learning all of this magic.”
“You have every reason to be scared. You must be cautious, but at the same time allowing fear to hold you back won’t get you anywhere worth being.”
“I guess.” I thought about what she said, and as always she had a point. If I left Darkwood now, I would always wonder about what I left behind and whether I made the right choice. “I’m going to stay. I’m going to study with Ms. Mae.” My voice was firm and certain. I was prone to bouts of indecision, but there was no time for any of that now. It was all or nothing.
“I see.” Grand-mere reflected on what I just said. “I have faith in you Arelia, I do.”
“I wish I was confident as you Grand-mere Bea.”
“Don’t worry my child. You’re so young, and confidence comes with age. It’s not something that any of us are born with.”
“Thanks for listening to me whine.”
Grand-mere Bea laughed exuberantly. “Whine all you want, I’ll always be here to listen.”
We said our goodbyes and I hung up. I was determined to march right back into Ms. Mae’s office and tell her I was ready for all of this.
“So you’ve made up your mind, queen?” Ivan asked from the doorway where he stood lazily puffing on a cigarette.
“What the hell are you doing? Were you listening in on my call?” I was furious at the possibility that he had heard every single word that I had said to Grand-mere Bea. He had no right invading my space or privacy.
“Take it easy, drama queen. I just got here,” he said easily.
“You’re a liar!” I spat out. “You’ve been here the whole time, and you know it.”
“So what, I’m on my break. Besides, it’s a free country and by the way, you’re making a mistake.” His voice took on an ominous tone and his eyes darkened.
“My life is none of your business. I have no idea what you mean by your little comments. If I’m making any mistakes, what the hell does it matter to you?”
He walked up to me. I could smell the nicotine on his breath as he grabbed me by the wrists and dug his nails into my skin. His lips hovered close to mine. “You don’t understand,” he whispered. “You don’t understand any of this. You don’t belong in this world. You’re too good, too fragile. Don’t mess with what you think you can control.”
I shook my wrists free and punched him in the shoulder. “It’s none of your business. You’re nothing but a whiny, condescending jerk that obviously has issues.”
For a minute, he looked shocked and in disbelief. “Suit yourself, queen. You’re going to be sorry.”
“Whatever!” I spat back as I hurried into the kitchen and slammed the door behind me. I walked into Ms. Mae’s office, more determined than ever to get this training underway.
“You’re back.” Ms. Mae looked up from the book she was studying from.
“Yeah, I’ve made up my mind. Let’s do it.”
“You’re certain?” Ms. Mae asked. A hint of a smile started to spread across her face.
“Yes, I’m positive.”
“Then let’s get started, shall we?”
“Go for it.” I sat down and got ready to listen to whatever Ms. Mae had to say.
“Let’s start with the basics. These are the most common ingredients used to make gris-gris and cast spells,” she said, pointing to the materials that rested in the jars. “You do know what gris-gris is, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. Everyone does. Voodoo word for charms,” I was proud of myself for getting an answer right. “I have one right here.” I showed her the charm that Grand-mere Bea had bought for me, which prompted Ms. Mae to shake her head, because as I had suspected the charm was a fake.
“So what are the most common ingredients?” I was eager to get started already.
“This is asafoetida, used for protection,” she pointed to a jar full of greenish yellow powder.
“Devil’s shoe string,” she demonstrated a jar of what appeared to be twigs of varying lengths. “They are used for an assortment of purposes such as warding off evil. The devil’s snuffbox is most useful when dealing with curses.”
She continued explaining the different ingredients for what seemed like an hour. When she came to the last jar, her voice got low. “This is graveyard dirt.”
“What, wait?” I wasn’t really sure I had heard her correctly. “Did you just say graveyard dirt- like, actual dirt from some graveyard?”
In a very calm and matter of fact tone, Ms. Mae replied, “Yes dear, dirt from an actual graveyard.”
“Okay, that’s a tad creepy, should I even ask what graveyard and from whose grave?”
“Don’t make it sound so dramatic, my child. The dirt is taken from a grave connected to the spell you are planning to carry out. When used to make sure an ancestor safely passes from this world to the next, you would take the dirt from their grave. If you desire to reverse a curse placed on the living or dead, you would collect the dust from the grave of a person who is responsible for the curse.”
I couldn’t really imagine myself running around some graveyard stealing dirt from graves, but I had to admit
it was a rather intriguing concept. “So, is there like a particular time or something that someone should break into a cemetery and steal this stuff?”
“It’s not stealing; never think of it as stealing. All dirt collected must be approved by Papa Ghede. Without his approval, you will never be able to successfully carry out a spell involving graveyard dirt.”
“Okay, I’m a little confused. I thought I was blessed by Erzulie and all, so I didn’t have to ask for permission to speak to the loa. They pretty much torment me whenever they feel like it. Why would I have to ask Papa Ghede for permission to take some dust?”
“Of course, you can hear them and speak to them, but that doesn’t mean all of them are willing to give you permission to do what you would like. You still need to be respectful of the spirits at all times. Before entering any graveyard, you must ask Ghede’s permission because he is the guardian of the graveyard. Upon leaving, you must leave some sort of offering such as coins.”
I listened intently to what Ms. Mae was saying, becoming increasingly fascinated by complexities of what was being presented. At school I was a decent student, but most of what we were forced to learn was boring and I often found myself drifting, but not when Ms. Mae spoke. The way she explained things was simple and to the point, which made it much easier to pick up on.
Every day for a week, I met Ms. Mae promptly at seven in her office. With my iced-coffee and usual breakfast treats that consisted of some form of chocolate or another by my side, getting up so early didn’t seem entirely horrid. Ms. Mae tried to cram as much information as she could in the few hours we had before the guests started to come down for breakfast. At this point, I had managed to remember the name of most of the materials needed for spells. I learnt how to mix together various elements to make protective charms as well as ones that were harmful. I was hesitant at first, too afraid to learn how to cast curses, but Ms. Mae explained that there were times when curses were necessary to protect oneself and reverse any dangerous spells that may have been cast by someone who meant ill.
Prior to my lessons, I hadn’t given palm reading and tarot cards a second thought. I had always been under the impression that they were tricks invented by scam artists to make a quick buck. In New Orleans, there was always some sketchy gypsy-type woman with a shop, willing to sell you your fate. Ms. Mae told me that although a majority of people who claimed they tell fortunes were frauds, some actually did have the gift. Since Erzulie had blessed me, I had no excuse not to understand how to read the tarot, as well as palms. A truly powerful voodoo queen was expected to do it all, and since that was what I supposedly was, I had no choice but to learn. The LaRue family tarot wasn’t like the typical tarot decks you found at Barnes & Noble; it was a bit more complex. It had four suits, but they were divided by the names Rada (Sky), Petro (Fire), Ghede (Earth) and Kongo (Water). As much as I tried to memorize the significance of all the cards in the deck, the task seemed utterly impossible. I figured that I would probably be around Grand-mere Bea’s age when I finally did.
I was disgusted to find out that human hair, blood and bone were powerful materials when casting a spell on a target, and almost threw up my pain perdu when Ms. Mae showed me her collection of human hair samples. Ms. Mae told me not to be so dramatic, like she always did, and clarified that all the human hair she had was used to cast spells that were meant to bring luck or cure rather than curse. She also explained that when casting or making charms, using personal belongings made the spell more effective.
I was really eager to get to the part about voodoo dolls and was a bit shocked to find that, according to Ms. Mae, they weren’t just an epic myth, but did serve a real purpose. Apparently, voodoo dolls are charms that can be used for carrying out a spell on a person they are meant to resemble. That made me think of Sabrina, and how badly I wanted to make a blond, bossy doll and curse it to endure a lifetime of being unable to wear makeup. There were a few times, when I woke up in the middle of the night to her snores and was tempted to cut off a lock of her hair. Of course, I didn’t, but I sure wanted to. Things were still bad between us, and we hadn’t spoken since the fight.
I went about doing my daily duties while she continued to throw herself at Lucus. From my observation of him, I had come to the conclusion that he wasn’t trying to pit Sabrina against me. In fact, he knew that if he spoke to me in front of Sabrina, she would continue to be bitter and angry. He respected my wishes and kept his distance all the while being polite and courteous to Sabrina no matter how obnoxious she got. I convinced myself that I didn’t care about their relationship, but there were times I caught myself mesmerized by Lucus a little more than I should have been. He was always so composed on the surface, but his eyes were a clear giveaway that there was sadness within him. Although I tried to justify that he was just another guy, I knew I was lying to myself. Sometimes I was really good at doing that.