We still hadn’t spoken.
We still held hands.
Moving into the loft, I slowly tugged my hand free and tried to breathe a little deeper. Rain crashed into the windows, and the electricity from the lightning seemed to be gathering inside my loft as well. Tension hummed between us, so hot and erratic, I thought I’d come out of my skin.
I finally went to grab him a towel, handing it to him without meeting his eyes. “Here, why don’t you dry off? You’re soaked to the bone.”
“Yeah.” He gave a cursory rub of his hair and shoulders, then stood there, twisting the towel around his big hands. “I’m sorry, Piety.”
“For which part?”
He looked up then, met my eyes. “I’ve made a mess of things, and I needed to tell you that.”
There was hell in his eyes. Still, as he stood there, watching me, all I could think was…a mess? You call this a mess?
He’d blackmailed my parents, left me without a word…and he wanted to just call it a mess?
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded.
He rubbed the towel over his face, then folded it neatly and held it back out to me. I took it, feeling out of place in my own home. Everything felt out of place.
It wasn’t okay.
His sorry wasn’t enough.
But what was I supposed to do?
He gave me a tight smile. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll go.”
Just like that?
Without thinking, I threw the towel down and got between him and the door. Reaching up, I touched his cheek. Kaleb froze.
Every muscle in his body locked up, the heat from him searing me through.
“Don’t,” he said roughly. He closed his hand around my wrist, and I could feel my pulse banging against his fingers. “Just…don’t.”
“Don’t what?” I asked. “Don’t want you? Don’t think about you? Don’t ask you to stay?”
A muscle pulsed in his cheek.
“I don’t want you to go.” Pushing up on my toes, I pressed my mouth to the corner of his lips. “Don’t go, Kaleb.”
I would have plastered myself against him, but he caught my upper arms in his hands, held me back.
“I’m soaking wet. We…this isn’t smart.”
“I don’t care. I’m tired of being smart and thinking…I’m tired of wanting you and you not being there.” I twisted my arms out of his grip and reached for him. “No matter what happened, I missed you, Kaleb.”
This time, when I kissed him, he kissed me back, his mouth opening against mine, his tongue sliding out to tease me.
I groaned at his taste, shuddered when he slid his hands down my body. Everything inside me came back to life. Color returned to the world. Everything was alive again.
Hot and frantic kisses led to hot and frantic caresses with the two of us leaning against the door, his hands sliding up under the nightshirt I wore.
When he found me naked, he groaned and swore. “Damn, are you telling me you’ve been naked under this the whole time?”
He kissed me again, his fingers playing over bare skin. “You came downstairs naked. We’ve been standing here talking, and you’re naked. I just can’t…”
He went to his knees, and I bit my lip, bracing myself as he pressed a kiss to my knee, the middle of my thigh, my hip.
When he slid his tongue between my folds, I twisted my fingers in his hair and swore, pleasure ripping through me.
“Come for me, Piety.” He teased and licked, nipped and nuzzled, slipping two fingers inside me and twisting them, working me closer and closer.
“Come…”
I did, and he didn’t wait for me to float back down before he rose, tearing at his jeans.
I stared at him, half blind as he freed his cock. I reached out and wrapped my hand around him.
Kaleb groaned and moved into my touch. When I did it again, he reached up and braced one hand on the door by my head, the biceps bulging.
He closed his other hand around mine, tightening my grip and pumping into my hand, hard and fast. “That is one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen,” he said, his voice rough. “I could fucking come all over you.”
“Do it, I wouldn’t care.”
“I’d rather come in you.” He kissed me and then let go of my hand, catching my hips and boosting me up. “Hold on.”
I gasped as he filled me, deep and hard. Then he caught my wrists and stretched them over my head, leaving my weight balanced on his cock and hips.
“I’ve never wanted anybody the way I want you. You’re like a drug.” Kaleb shuddered as he skimmed his lips across my cheekbone. “My drug.”
“You’re mine.” I tugged against his hold, but all he did was stroke his thumb across my skin. I felt completely surrounded, completely filled by him. He stretched me and filled me, and finally, that horrible emptiness began to fade away. “Don’t leave me again, okay?”
“I won’t.”
He kissed me, a deep, seeking kiss.
Each thrust had him dragging back and forth against my clitoris, the sensation so painfully sweet. I hung on the edge of climax almost from the first touch, but Kaleb wouldn’t let me fall over, instead dragging it out.
The silk of my night shirt drag back and forth over my nipples, taunting me. Everything became pleasure.
Kaleb caught my lower lip between his teeth, drawing it out before letting it go to kiss me again.
I pulled against his hold, and he finally released my hands so I could cling to him. He boosted me higher, changing the angle of my hips and it was too much. I came hard and fast, but just when I thought it was over, he started to come, and the pulsations of his cock set me off all over again.
It was unending.
It was amazing.
It was stupid.
29
Kaleb
We lay on the couch. Piety was warm against me, and I rubbed my chin against her hair. It was soft as the silk nightshirt she still wore. I knew more about silk after a few days with her than I’d learned in my entire life.
“Is Astra going to walk in here and find me laying naked on her couch?” I asked.
We had a throw covering us, or mostly. But I really didn’t want her best friend finding us like this.
“Not a chance. She’s with a guy.” Piety stretched against me, and the feel of her sleek body rubbing against me like that had my cock stirring. I was tempted to roll her over and take her again, but things had to be said first.
Before I could lose my nerve, I shifted around on the couch and pushed up onto my elbow. Her eyes were big and sleepy, her face still flushed from sex.
My heart clenched, just looking at her.
“We should talk.”
Her smile was soft, sadness clinging to it. “That’s what we’ve been doing. You came up here to talk.”
“No.” Stroking my thumb over her lower lip, I sighed. “I’m serious. There’s…more. I should have told you this before.”
Her eyes cooled slightly, and I braced myself for the rejection I suspected was coming.
“If this is about my parents,” she said, voice level, almost…gentle. “I already know what you did. I mean, was I not going to find out?”
“What I did?” I asked.
Well, that answered a lot of questions. I’d spent the past week wondering what they told her. Her calls had gone from worried to agitated and then to…careful. There had been no emotion in the last message she had left for me and that careful lack of emotion had managed to convey quite a bit.
I’d known her parents wouldn’t have been honest and confessed to what they’d done. Considering how things already were between them and their daughter, they’d be particularly careful about how they handled this.
And now here I was, throwing a wrench in it.
“Come off it, Kaleb.” She eased away from me and sat up. “I understand. I really do. I was trying to get things together to help you out anyway, and if I had been upfront an
d honest, you wouldn’t have been so desperate. But don’t try to make this into anything other than what it was.”
She’d been what…?
I pushed that aside, climbing off the couch and grabbing my jeans. They were still wet, but I pulled them on anyway.
Piety had smoothed her shirt down and now sat studying me with studied casualness. “We can get past it. We really can. But, just…don’t.”
Some of the frustration I was feeling dissolved.
She’d let it go, I realized. She would let it all go. Her heart was amazing. I went to her and cupped her face. “I’m losing a little bit more of myself to you all the time,” I said against her lips.
I thought about staying quiet, just keeping it all inside.
A small selfish part of me thought I should do just that, enjoy what time I had, while I could.
But she’d never been anything but honest with me.
I could do no less with her.
“I don’t know what they told you I did, but your parents paid me to leave town, Piety. They said if I signed the annulment papers and left, agreeing not to talk to you, they’d give me money – cash. It was everything I needed to take care of Camry.”
Shock danced across her features.
Here it comes…now she’ll push me away…
“What?”
“Their lawyer came to see me,” I said, that familiar feeling of exhaustion bearing down on me again. Sighing, I tugged her in and kissed her forehead, then let her go, turning away to pace over to the window. The storm had blown over, but it was still raining, a cold, steady drizzle that blotted everything out. Staring into the rain, I said, “You and Astra were gone. This lawyer shows up…Stuart Rushmore.”
Even his name disgusted me, but I kept my voice flat.
“He came here and told me that he wanted to talk to me, said he could help me.” Turning back to her, I shrugged. “He said he was a friend of yours. It wasn’t until I’d already let him in that he clarified and said he was actually your parents’ lawyer. Then he laid out the deal. And I…took it.”
“That’s why you haven’t returned my calls.” She swallowed, her gaze falling to the floor.
“I felt ashamed and I’d given my word. It means something to me. I don’t have much, but that’s one of the few things I do have.” I looked around her loft, evidence of how little it had meant in the end. “Or had. I’m here now.”
“And why are you here?”
“Because. There’s nothing left. I spend the last money to buy a ticket back here.” That sounded…awful.
I then told her what happened with Camry, and she came to me, wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her back, desperately. “I’ve messed it all up, and everything’s just fucked. But all I can think about is you and how much I miss you and how much I wish I hadn’t left. So, I came back, praying you would see me and understand. Forgive me. I know all this sound terrible selfish, and I supposed it is, but you’re all I have left. My last hope.”
She eased back, staring up at me for the longest time.
I felt frozen, unable to do anything.
Then, slowly, she kissed my forehead. Each of my cheeks. My chin.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve been so angry at you these past few weeks, and it wasn’t totally your fault. It was my parents manipulating you like they’ve done so many others. And I should have known.”
“Don’t apologize to me.” I stroked my hand up her back, my fingers passing over each bump of her spine. “I made the fucked up decision to take the deal and leave.”
She sighed and tucked herself in closer. “What are you going to do about Camry?”
“I don’t know. I…don’t think I can do anything.” Misery settled inside, and I wanted to pound something, but the anger and hurt were useless. Giving in to them solved nothing. “I’ve given up everything for her, sacrificed most of my life to take care of her. And now this…” I shook my head, unable to put into words the sheer helplessness I felt.
“We’re going to find a way.”
30
Piety
“I got the job.”
Carol stood in front of my desk, twisting her fingers, looking stunned.
“Congratulations.” I came out from behind the desk and hugged her, keeping it light and easy so she could break away. She was doing so much better than when she first came here, but I knew physical touch was hard for her. She nodded nervously, her eyes bouncing all over the place. “I got the job, Ms. Van Allan. They hired me.”
“I know. Congratulations.”
Carol pushed her hair back from her face with shaking hands, then tucked them in her lap, staring at them. “I just don’t understand. Why would they hire me? I haven’t worked in years.”
“Apparently, they saw something in you that they liked. Now it’s time for you to look in the mirror and see the same thing they saw.” I settled in the chair next to hers and took her nervous hands, squeezed gently. “It’s the same thing I see when you play with your daughter or the other kids here. It’s the same thing that gave you the courage to leave. You’re tougher than you think. You’re going to do fine.”
A few minutes later, I walked into the small break room at the shelter and a wave of clapping broke out.
I gave a small bow and then laughed as they continued.
“Stop it. Or go applaud for Carol. She did the hard part.” One of the girls who handled the new intakes opened the microwave, pulling out her typical lunch – a microwave burrito.
The smell of it hit me hard, even as I wondered how she could eat them.
She was talking, saying something to Carol – she wouldn’t even talk to people at first.
I think.
Maybe.
But nothing more than the first few words really connected because as that smell grew stronger, my stomach rebelled.
Oh, shit.
Lurching toward the bathroom, I almost bowled over the woman coming out, and I rushed in, skidding to my knees in front of the nearest toilet.
I barely made it, emptying out my stomach with near violence while my heart hammered in my ears.
“Oh, honey…are you okay?”
That was when I realized I had an audience.
Another wave hit me.
A few more seconds passed before I thought it might be over.
“Oh for the love of my great aunt Bessie,” a familiar voice boomed. “Somebody might think you’d never seen a woman get sick before. You people, give her some room.”
I cringed at the sound of that voice. It was Felicia Winke, my boss.
Her words sent people scurrying, and before long, I was alone in the bathroom with just her. I thought maybe I was done.
Maybe.
She stared at me hard. “How long have you been sick?”
I passed my hand over the back of my mouth. “Just this once.”
“Unlike some people, I know that throwing up can come from a variety of reasons. Do you think you’re contagious?”
I was feeling better, so I didn’t think so. I shook my head. “Maybe something I ate just didn’t settle well.”
She narrowed her eyes and slowly turned away. “Okay. If it gets worse, go home. We don’t need an epidemic. And try toast and ginger ale. We always keep some around.”
I started to refuse, but a ginger ale actually sounded nice. As I sat at the table a few minutes later sipping one, I took out my phone and read through my emails.
“Are you feeling better?” Felisha sat down across from me, eyeing me critically.
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I feel fine.”
She looked at her nails, then glanced back up at me. “Are you seeing anybody?” There was a deliberate casualness behind the question that worried me.
I hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about the marriage and the subsequent annulment, so I had taken to wearing my wedding ring on my right hand when I was at work. Nobody here knew about Kaleb, and since it wasn’t likely they would ever meet anybody in
my family, explanations weren’t necessary, or so I thought.
“Why?” I asked
“I’m just wondering.” She began to examine her nails again. “What I’m thinking is that it’s kind of funny that those nasty microwave burritos have never bothered you before. But today, you turn green and are puking your guts out, then five minutes later, you’re right as rain.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but she pointed to my glass and continued. “Ginger ale seems to be settling just fine. You look great. Nobody would believe that you were on your knees just a couple minutes ago, puking for all your worth. And Piety, you’re worth a lot.”
“What are you trying to say?”
Felisha looked at me with sympathy dripping from her expression. “Piety, I’ve had this sort of…stomach issue a few times myself. The last time was ten years ago.”
I stared at her, her meaning beginning to sink in. “Oh, shit!” A cold sweat broke out on the back of my neck.
“So…it’s possible?” she asked.
I exhaled a long breath and covered my face with my hands.
She came and sat next to me, patting my shoulder. “Honey, it’s okay. You just need to find out for sure.”
I thought about the wine I’d drunk last night. The sip of scotch I’d had the other day. Hell yes, I needed to find out. If I was pregnant… I groaned. Could I be?
I thought about the dream. “Oh, man.”
“Well, you’ve gone from oh shit to oh man. I’d say this might not be such a bad thing.”
I dropped my head down onto the table. I needed to go to the store. I needed to… I didn’t even know what I needed to do.
“Take a few more minutes.” She got up and headed out of the room. “But on your way home tonight, you might want to think about buying a pregnancy test.”
I took the extra minutes she’d advised and sent Astra a text. Astra’s response came back a couple minutes later, but those minutes felt like hours.
What’s going on?
I just threw up. I responded.
Her response was an emoji, one with the guy and a giant open mouth. Yeah, that’s about as surprised as I felt.