"May I see it?" she said with a tremor in her voice.
Colin shoved it toward her, and across the desk with a shrug. "I don’t see why not. This is all about you after all. You should know what's in it already."
Kelly opened the file with unsteady fingers, Colin observed, well aware of the stunned distress that was running through her. For a few moments she trailed through it, flipping pages and seeming more and more faint.
"What's wrong?" Colin asked. "Are you okay, Kelly?" WTF? Where did I go wrong? Because this wasn't the response Colin had been planning on.
Right now Kelly Flynn looked as if she was going to pass out.
7. In Confidence
A knock sounded on the door bringing a welcome relief from the tension of the atmosphere. "Come in," Colin bellowed.
Daniel, a young, slim man and one of the bartenders slipped in with two drinks on a tray. He placed the rum and Coke in front of Colin and the orangey-red Tequila Sunrise, with a cute little pink umbrella in it, in front of Kelly.
"Thanks, Daniel," Colin said. "Put it on my tab, I'll fix you up later."
"You got it, Chief," Daniel said with a grin and a cocky three fingered half salute.
"Drink up, Kelly," Colin said, coming around to her side of the desk to sit in the chair next to her. "You don't look so good."
Tossing out the umbrella, Kelly took a large gulp, knocking back half of the liquid in the tall slender glass. Colin, sitting next to her, patted her knee comfortingly. "Hey, what's going on, girl? You seem weirded out."
When she didn't respond Colin scooped her into his lap and pressed her head against his chest. Then he began to rub her hands. "Jesus, little girl, what the fuck? You look like you're going to faint. Never mind, you sit up here on me for a bit, Donna says I throw off heat like a furnace. I'll warm you up." Colin gave her a hug, wrapping her in the warmth of his thick body. Kelly's skin felt so cold against his heat. "I've seen shock before. Something has upset you. Just sit here until you get it together, honey."
Colin couldn't help but feel a familiar, instinctive pull when Kelly curled trustingly into him just like a little kitten. The woman was a soft ball of female flesh that had unconsciously sought his security and support. Colin's protective Dom nature sparked from Kelly's helpless vulnerability, and he continued to rub and pat her back in a soothing circular motion.
Hummm, he thought. Here are some more extremely attractive character traits, trust, need, dependence. This little sub might do very well for John after all, he decided. But then he frowned. Except that she most definitely isn't a pain slut. That could be a serious drawback for a man like John.
When Kelly began to snap out of it, she sat up and winced with chagrin. "I'm so sorry, Sir," she said. "Donna would scratch my eyes out if she saw me sitting here on your lap."
"No she wouldn't," Colin said calmly. "Donna is a caring sort of person; she would be angry with me if I hadn't picked you up. That woman has no earthly reason to be jealous of anyone." He snickered. "Donna has me by the balls and she knows it."
Kelly gave a faint smile at that. "That seems rather doubtful, Sir," she said.
"Okay, well she has my heart by the balls then - that is if my heart had balls. Donna knows she's the only woman for me." To Colin's surprise after that comment Kelly burst into tears.
Man, he thought. Women. Who could figure them out? If John comes into the Manager's Office right now the normally icily composed SOB would probably lose his shit. I'd probably get my ass fired, after a severe thrashing with that bullwhip of his.
Well, there was nothing Colin could do for the present except relax and enjoy the ride. Consequently he simply continued to pat Kelly's back and said nothing. Luckily he had a box of tissues on his desk, and Kelly used quite a few of them while he patiently waited for her to calm down.
When Kelly finally got it together she said with her breath hitching, "I'm okay now, thank you." Sliding off his lap she returned to the seat beside him. "I'm sorry, Sir."
"No big," he said. "So are you going to tell me what's up? Is someone here bothering you or something? Is there anything I can do?" Colin knew that wasn't the case, but he threw it out there anyway. Kelly's dilemma was his boss, and he figured that problem was going to get bigger before it was resolved. In fact Colin was certain more tears were on the way sometime soon, no doubt caused by John. He just hoped he wasn't around when the dam broke. Cross fingers that John contained the whole thing with a spanking in a private scene.
"I saw this exact file," Kelly said, "this one with my name on. It was at John Taylor's house. Does he work for that security firm or something? Do you know?"
"Huh," Colin said with raised eyebrows. "I've never known John to take anyone home with him Kelly," he said, twisting the knife a little. Poor woman already feels bad, but it wouldn't hurt to make her feel worse for running out on the man. That's what he and Donna had decided anyway. "He must really like you, Kelly. Why don't you ask him?"
"I don’t think he'll talk to me right now," she said in a small voice. When Kelly began to explain, Colin cut her off. "Look, Kelly – no offence, but I don’t want to get in the middle of this. I don't think I am the right person. You should talk to him. I promise you that John has had a very through security check, he's not a stalker or anything. And yes, there was a legitimate reason for him to have your file."
Colin felt like a heel, but he continued playing his hand, right to the end where he trumped everything. Kelly needed to beg to be told the secret that Colin already intended her to have: That John owned the Basement. It was a little painful, this complete duplicity, but Colin assured himself that it was for the best. It was the plan he and Donna had worked out between them.
"I don't understand. Why would John have my file?"
Colin shrugged.
"Can't you tell me?" she asked.
"Not really," Colin said drinking over half his Rum and Coke down, and swirling the ice in the glass. "It is a secret that's not mine to tell."
Kelly just gave him a long, pitiful, lost puppy look.
Colin stood and began to pace, as if tense with indecision. Finally making a big show of giving in, he faced her with his best 'Stern Dom' gaze. "Look Kelly," he began with a raised index finger. "No one knows this. No one. So if rumors get around I'll know who said something and I'll cancel your membership, bang!" he snapped his fingers loudly. "Just like that. I'll end it under violation of the confidentiality clause, understand?"
"I swear I won’t say anything to anyone," Kelly assured him, eagerly sitting forward.
"Fine," Colin said. "John Taylor owns the Basement. In fact, he owns this whole damn building. He's a fantastic boss, and I don’t want to lose my job. Now I'll have to make it clear to him why I told you, and he'll probably be okay with that. But the explanation is simple, Kelly. You are a new member, and John personally checks every new member out. That's it."
"Oh," Kelly said, and then she downed the rest of her drink. Colin felt the expression on the young woman's' face was priceless. Kelly looked as if she had lost ten bucks, but found a hundred. So now she knew.
The question to Colin's mind was what was she going to do about it now?
8. The Letter
Kelly Flynn was back on the emotional roller coaster ride from hell, only it was twice as high and three times as heart-stopping and terrifying. Not only that, the lows were much worse than before.
What a terrible evening.
After talking to the Manager of the Basement, and finding out how wrong she had been about John, she went to the sub's gallery and hoped to see him. Various friends had come over to chat with her, but she was too preoccupied to listen. Even Master Ron's perfect off-beat humor had failed to engage her - she was just too bummed. Kelly didn't explain her mood to anyone. They probably all figured she had PMS.
Master Ron, a really great guy, clearly had a crush on her, but she had a crush on John. Why was life always so complicated? More than anything she wanted to talk to someone
about what had happened.
No, she thought. I opened my mouth and put my foot in it already this week. Once was enough. Colin was right to not want to get involved. It isn't his business, and it isn't anyone else's business either. I'll just shut up and wait until I can talk to John.
The resolution to keep her mouth closed was against Kelly's character, because she liked to talk. For Kelly, talking was like breathing, easy, natural and automatic. What had finally settled the matter was imagining what John would want. John wouldn’t want her gossiping about him, and about the time they had spent together. John was too private a person for that.
When Kelly first saw John Tuesday night at the club, after running out on him on Sunday, it was like getting a fist slammed right into her chest. Kelly just sucked in a deep breath and stared. John was wearing his standard black leather pants that showed his utterly built, male body. Black swat boots, and black leather vest, his beautiful torso was exposed as he wore nothing other than his vest top. The magnificent virile Dom had a flawless, smoking hot, sculpted body. Broad shoulders, cut abs, thin hipped, great ass.
And he could fuck all night long.
Kelly subdued the sudden impulse to fan herself. Jesus John made her hot. Yet it wasn't just the sex. What was the inexplicable pull of the man? It wasn't the fact that he was simply gorgeous either, although that was a serious draw card. Now that Kelly knew him better from that one night with him, she wasn't in love with just a fine body.
No, John knew her, or at least he seemed to be able to read her mind. Kelly had adored every single thing about John, and had felt comfortable and able to tell him anything. The intimate moments they had spent together had been powerful, passionate and overwhelming. Kelly really missed that connection.
Kelly stood up and tried to get John's attention, but he didn't seem to see her. On the pretense of going to the toilet she quickly moved down the sub gallery ramp and walked by him. With a strong, graceful, stride, he was going the opposite way. To her utter mortification John's eyes slid right past her without apparent recognition.
When she had impulsively called his name out, he had turned with that implacable, dark, sexy gaze. She had been pinned then, unable to move from his piercing look. With the smallest of shake of his head, he had indicated 'no,' and then continued walking away from her.
The harsh, detached expression on John's handsome face was agonizing and beyond any pain Kelly had known before or could imagine. He didn't want to acknowledge her. John had refused to even talk to her.
Kelly thought her heart would break into a million pieces just from that.
Seeing John so changed from the smiling happy lover she had known so intimately hurt as much as a knife in the chest. Why had he done it? Was this a test he had set for her? To prove that she deserved him? Or was he simply punishing her for using her safe word and running? And was this painful impasse temporary or permanent?
Kelly had gone into the change room and just kept on going after that, running home to the sanctuary of her apartment.
After her train wreck of an evening at the Basement, Kelly decided to write a letter. It was after midnight, but she didn’t think she was going to get much sleep anyway. Saturday night she had known the most awe inspiring connection with another person in her life – and now it was gone. She had bought and worn the new bustier to please John. It was in the same colors as his bedroom, and looked good against her fair skin and orange hair. Kelly sighed. Now her credit card was maxed out and he hadn't even noticed.
Friend, savior and amazing lover, John Taylor radiated a palpable energy and devastating seductive appeal. Kelly missed him so much. She missed his body with his raw, intense sexual need, not to mention his fascinating, ever erect cock. It was insane. Kelly would do anything to get John back, even for one night. She wanted a re-do. Why had she run off like that on Sunday? So stupid. She felt like wringing her own neck.
Kelly was unhappy and horny and didn’t want to cry again. She had cried too much already. It wouldn't surprise her if her eyes fell out from already shedding an ocean of tears, but she simply felt so sad.
Kelly made herself a hot chocolate, with no marshmallows this time. The last time she had hot chocolate was with John and that thought gave her another painful pang. John was punishing her and teaching her a lesson. That was the only explanation. Surely he missed her as much as she missed him? He must have had the same feeling of bonding and union that she had. It hadn't been an illusion – it had been real.
Kelly, to a large degree, was experienced in love. She knew the deep feelings she had for her big brother and her father, and she loved all of her family – even her tiresome mother. As annoying as her mom was, Kelly knew that her mother wanted her to be happy. The occasional crushes Kelly had experienced with the opposite sex had easily worn off, and Kelly knew the difference now between actual love and infatuation. While love of family members didn't in actual fact compare, she could recognize the honest, genuine feeling. Love as a concept was not foreign to Kelly.
What she felt toward John, after that one night together…. Well. At first, before she knew him, it had been infatuation. But now it could only be love.
Sex with John was one thing – a wow, huge, never experienced before ultimate high, but it wasn't just that. Never had Kelly felt so 'herself' with another person. She and John had talked and laughed and reveled in each other's company. They had completely connected. This was the real deal. In her little heart of hearts she was certain of that – if of nothing else.
So Kelly sat at the kitchen table and composed a letter to John Taylor.
Dear John,
(OMG a 'Dear John' letter, Kelly thought.) I wanted to write and thank you for your help on Saturday night. I honestly think I might have died, or gone insane if you hadn't been there to save me when I was trapped in that elevator. I owe you. A lot. (Okay. Pretty good. So far so good.)
John I had the best time last Saturday night in your lovely home, particularly your lovely bedroom. (No, can't write that! That sounds bad. Start again.)
John, I had the BEST time Saturday night. (True, but this could be expanded.) I have never felt such a wonderful connection with anyone. (Too cheesy? Maybe, but it's true.) I am so sorry I spoiled it all Sunday morning. Will you please forgive me? Can we start again? (Pitiful, but I think it works.)
I was really freaked out by finding that file on me on your desk when I left the bathroom. I wasn't snooping I swear – my name just jumped out at me. Your manager Colin explained why it was there, but quite honestly I simply panicked. (Actually I assumed he was a lying, sneaky, wacko pervert and was afraid for my life. Shit. I don’t have to tell him that, do I? Jesus I know he'll get that out of me, he soooo always finds the truth. Shit, shit, shit.)
(Okay, what next? Oh yeah.) So I think I have learned my lesson. I will not jump to conclusions, particularly about you. I will not use my safe word when I don't need to. I know you would have simply talked to me about it. At least what I know of you makes me think that. (Jesus, I'm rambling.)
John I really miss you and I'm thinking about you all the time. Will you please call me? Can we meet? (Really pathetic.) I spoke to my brother Richard about you. He remembers you from grade school, and when we started talking, I remembered, too.
Kelly sat back, and bits and pieces came back to her. John had been a strange sort of shadow in her childhood, but he had been a friend. Once he had found her crying out in the back of the school. She had been perhaps eleven years old. The other kids had been teasing her about her orange hair, and she had taken it to heart.
Without even a hello, John had walked up to her and peremptorily demanded, "Why are you crying?" It was just like him to accost her in that odd, frank way of his. Kelly had explained that all of the kids had been calling her 'carrot top.' She had rambled on and on, pacing back and forth with anxious, restless energy. John had stood perfectly still and silently watched her with his dark, solemn eyes.
When all of Kelly's ranting h
ad finally run out, and she had sat down dejectedly on some steps, John spoke. "They are all stupid," he had pronounced with authoritative contempt. "A carrot has a green top." At that she had laughed and laughed and laughed. And she had instantly felt much better.
Looking back, even then the young man, who was two years older than she was, had displayed dominant behavior. Was that what had attracted them to each other? Her budding submissive personality and his dominance?
John had watched her when she practiced and played Annie. Kelly knew he loved to hear her sing. The older boy had been consistently quiet, yet always there in the background. John had been a really strange kid from her perspective now. Why couldn’t she see it then? But she had been only a child. John had been sad and lonely, already inherently alone and separate from everyone else, yet he had been unequivocally on her side. At the time he had felt similar to Richard, like a big, older, protective brother.
Now he was anything but.
Kelly took a deep fortifying breath and continued writing.
John, I remember now. We were friends when we were children. I'd like to talk with you about that sometime. (That was true.)
I miss you John. Will you call me please? (pathetic again, but there you are).
I think I'm in love with you,
Kelly Flynn.
Kelly finished by writing her phone number on the bottom of the page.
Now, she thought after re-reading it twice. I'm seriously baring my heart and soul here. What if John doesn't respond? Or worse, what if he says he doesn't want to see me? God. Can I really give this letter to John?
The answer was a definite yes.
9. Unloved Puppy
Wednesday morning Kelly drove to John's home. He either wasn't there, or he didn’t answer the doorbell. She considered the mailbox, but then slipped her letter under his kitchen door and left. Wednesday night she worked, and Thursday she went to the Basement and once more spent the entire evening in the sub's gallery, hoping for John to relent and speak to her.