My sister stood up and squared off against me, her face losing every trace of humor. “What am I doing here? That is the dumbest question you’ve ever asked me in your whole freaking life. And that’s saying something.”
Right.
Okay.
One more deep breath.
“I know I caused drama,” I said in my calmest voice. “But I’m going to handle everything that needs handling. You can go back to your other PR disasters, okay? This isn’t a DUI. I didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s not going to end up in the paper. I’m a big boy, and I know how to clean up my own messes. I got it, Bess. I’m going to do the right thing. All of ’em. Whatever the lawyer tells me.”
For some reason, Bess looked even more upset at the conclusion of my rambling little speech. Castro turned his face aside, as if bracing for impact. I couldn’t figure out why. And then Bess stepped up into my personal space, her eyes pinched. Her cheeks red. She lifted her hands and clamped on to my shoulders. “You moron! I’m here to meet my niece. Our only living relative! My brother’s child…”
She actually began to shake me, and I started to lose it a little. We did not touch each other in anger. I stepped back and caught her hands in mine. “Bess…”
“What?” she gasped. “This is big, Davey. I get that it’s easier for you to go into macho damage-control mode right now. But your life just changed for the better. And I hope you’re not too stupid to figure that out.”
That left me pretty much speechless, while my teammates looked at their feet, their hands. Anywhere but at me. “So what is your plan?” I finally ground out. “Just barge in there and ask to inspect the kid? What if we’re not welcome?”
Bess lifted her chin. “You have rights. You can sue for visitation. But first we’re just going to ask nicely.”
“Uh…” O’Doul said with a chuckle. “If I could make a suggestion? First we’re going to take a deep breath and eat breakfast.”
I wanted to hug him for breaking up the most intense conversation I’d ever endured before my first cup of coffee. “Right. First things first,” I said. “Time for bacon and eggs.”
* * *
I fried up two pounds of bacon and then whipped up a big frittata. Then, leaving Bess in charge of making toast for everyone, I snuck out onto the porch to dial Zara’s coffee shop.
“You’ve reached The Busy Bean, this is Audrey speaking. How can I help you?”
“Hi, Audrey. My name is Dave Beringer. I’m a friend of Zara’s. Is she available by any chance?” Audrey was Zara’s co-worker. I was pretty sure.
“Negative,” Audrey said. “Hang on a sec.” I heard her ask a customer whether they wanted cinnamon or cocoa on their latte. Then she came back. “Sorry. The morning rush is upon us. But this is Zara’s morning off. You should try her phone.”
“I, uh, don’t have that number. I came in yesterday, though. You might remember me. I said hello to Zara, and she took off like she’d seen a ghost.”
“Hmm.” There was a silence on the line. “And now you need to reach her?”
“I’d like to see her this morning. Is there any way you could text her my number? She’ll know what it’s about.”
“Okay,” Audrey said immediately. “Just let me grab a pen.”
Chapter Thirteen
Zara
When the knock came on my door, my heart shimmied for no good reason. And when I opened it, Audrey stood there alone. “Good morning!” she said, looking cheerful. “I brought you a bag of mini muffins and a message.”
“Muffins?” my twin brother muttered from a prone position on the sofa where he was drowsing.
“They’re not for you, Benny Boy,” Audrey said, handing me a bag. “They’re for the mystery man who wants to visit Zara.” Audrey squinted at a note in her hand. “Dave Beringer. This is his number.”
My heart shimmied again. “What did he say?” I asked with a squeak.
“Nothing, babe. Just that he wanted to see you, and that you’d know why.”
I didn’t, though. Yesterday he’d protested the very idea of having a child. And even though Benito had managed a calmer conversation with him last night, it still seemed unlikely that he’d suddenly warm up to having a daughter. “I’ll call him. Thanks for the message. You’d better get back downstairs.” Kieran Shipley would be manning the counter, unnerving the customers with his broody stare.
But Audrey didn’t budge. She leaned on the door frame and studied me. “Who’s the guy? I wouldn’t ask, but you’re clearly freaking out. Why is that?”
I hesitated, as if Nicole might overhear me. But she was asleep in her crib in the other room. “It’s him,” I said with a sigh. “Nicole’s sperm donor.”
Audrey’s eyes lit up. “I knew it! Zara that man is hot. That red hair? Those muscles?”
Ben snorted from the sofa.
Audrey ignored him. “Gah! No wonder you couldn’t resist him.”
“It’s not like I tried very hard,” I pointed out.
“How’d he take the news?”
Slowly, I shook my head. “Not so well. But Benny met him last night at the bar, and he seemed to be getting his head around it.”
“Good!” Audrey said, clapping her hands.
But I wasn’t so sure. “Is it? I spent two years wondering if I’d ever see him again. But now I wonder if he should have stayed away. A bad father is worse than no father.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Audrey said, and I mentally kicked myself. She had an actual sperm donor for a father. “But maybe it will all work out. And meanwhile, you can admire his pretty face.”
Now it was my turn to snort. Dave wasn’t pretty. Rugged was a better description.
Audrey dropped her voice to a near whisper. “The sex must have been amazing.”
“As if I can even remember,” I lied. Then I put a hand on her shoulder and nodded toward the stairs. “Go save our business from Kieran’s stormy face. If there’s news, I’ll let you know.”
“You’d better!” she whispered back.
After I shut the door I pulled out my phone to call him. Then I walked over to the sliding glass door and pulled it open, stepping out onto Benito’s unfinished balcony. I shut the door again, so Benny couldn’t eavesdrop.
There was nothing but an ancient, oversized lounge chair out here, and I sat down on it, stalling. I needed to call him, but I was a chicken. So I texted him instead.
Zara: You were looking for me? —ZR
David: Good morning ZR. Can I call you?
Gulp.
Instead of answering, I dialed him. He answered on the first ring. “This is David,” the low voice said right into my ear.
An involuntary shiver climbed up my back. “Hi.” We’d never spoken on the phone before, and I was suddenly self-conscious. “I know I gave you quite a shock yesterday.”
“You sure did. I’m sure sorry if I was abrupt with you. Never had a conversation like that before.”
“So…” I cleared my throat. “Do you have any other children?”
“God, no.” He chuckled uneasily. “Anyway, I’ve had some time to get over myself. My plan for today had been to start researching things like child support. But then my sister surprised me by showing up in Vermont for a couple of days. And she was really hoping we could meet your little girl while she’s here.”
One hundred butterflies converged in my stomach. “Are you sure you want to do that before you confirm paternity? You seemed a little hesitant about that yesterday.”
“Zara.” His voice was low and steady. “Is it my child?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Then even if my lawyer insists on confirming paternity, I already know what the test will say. And my sister is probably only here a day or so.”
“Okay.” I swallowed hard. “This is my morning off,” I said, feeling like my life was rushing forward at a speed out of my control. “Nicole is napping right now, but she’ll probably wake up around eleven.”
“Then we’ll come at eleven, if that’s all right.”
“Sure,” I agreed, although the idea filled me with panic. I wasn’t at all sure that having David walk into our lives was a good idea. “We’re in an apartment over The Gin Mill. There’s a separate entrance on the left-hand side. I’ll see you at eleven.”
“See you then.”
With a shaking hand, I pocketed my phone. And then I did what anyone in my position would do. I went inside and kicked my sleepy twin brother in the thigh.
“Ow,” he said, opening tired eyes. “What’s the problem?”
“Dave Beringer, with an ‘e,’ wants to bring his sister over to meet Nicole.”
“And you said yes?”
“Yeah. So get up. We have work to do.”
“What kind of work?” He sat up and yawned. We’d sat up late into the night talking, and then he’d slept on his couch until Nicole got him up at six. Now they were both ready for a nap.
“We’re panic cleaning.”
“Bummer,” he said. But he stood up to help me.
“Can you make that stack of toys look less trashy?” I asked, waving at the corner of the big room. “I’ll tackle the kitchen.”
There were breakfast dishes in the sink. I rinsed everything, and was just sponging down the countertops when I looked at the time. “Heck, I’ve got to change my clothes.”
“Why?” Ben asked, opening the dishwasher to load it. “You don’t need to dress up for this guy.”
Seriously? Had my brother ever met a woman? I wondered what Dave would see when he looked at me. In the first place, I was heavier than I used to be. Nursing made me hungry all the time, so I hadn’t lost all the baby weight. Also, I probably looked tired, because I was always tired.
And what would his sister see? I looked down to give myself a cursory scan. “I can’t wear this T-shirt to meet his sister.” It featured a drawing of a maple tree, with the words, I’d Tap That. “This shirt says, ‘I sleep around.’”
“Nah!” Ben argued. “That shirt says, ‘I’m from Vermont and I don’t mind dorky jokes.’”
Either way, I wasn’t taking any chances. “I need a quick shower. Will you listen for Nicole?”
“You think I’d just let her howl from the crib? Go already.”
I was halfway out of the room when he delayed me with a question. “Hey, Z? Do you want me to stick around for this little visit?”
“Would you?” I begged immediately, even if it made me a chicken.
He grinned. “Anytime. I’ll try to make my overflowing suitcase look less like a hobo’s while you’re in there.”
“I really shouldn’t care,” I said.
He waved a hand. “Go do whatever it is you do when you’re trying to impress your baby daddy.”
“New rule. Never use the phrase ‘baby daddy’ again.”
Benito laughed while I ran for the shower.
* * *
By eleven o’clock, I was showered and wearing my newest top, as well as lipstick and the barest hint of mascara.
“Makeup?” Ben said from the sofa. “You must have really liked this guy.”
“Shut up.” I would never admit that I had, in fact, really liked Dave Beringer. Who knew I’d been banging a professional athlete? “I’m just trying to look less like a trailer-park mom, here.”
“Zara, we spent some years in a trailer park. Mom still lives in one. There’s no shame in it. Nothing wrong with not having money.”
“I know that,” I groused. But who wouldn’t want to put her best foot forward?
“I peeked in the bag Audrey brought. There’s cookies.” Benito pointed at a bag on the counter. “And, like, tiny yellow muffins. They’re delicious.”
“You can tell that just from looking?”
“Well…I tasted them, too.”
“Uh-huh.” I grabbed a plate out of the cupboard and opened the bag. I was arranging them prettily after starting a pot of coffee when someone buzzed from downstairs.
My stomach did a somersault, and I actually thought I might be sick. I hadn’t been this terrified in a long time.
“Do you want me to go let them in?” Benito asked.
“Would you? I was just…” having a nervous breakdown.
My brother opened the apartment door and disappeared into the stairwell. My hands began to sweat, even though I knew I was focused on all the wrong things. I shouldn’t care that seeing Dave again would be an ego-bruising experience. The real terror here was letting someone else into my child’s life.
While I often felt guilty for robbing Nicole of living in a two-parent household, it was undeniably easier to be the only one in charge. In spite of my bossy family, the parenting decisions were all mine.
In principle, I knew that Nicole’s father had a right to be involved with his child. Yet I knew I’d have trouble if anyone—no matter how well-meaning—wanted to tell me what to do.
My worry train was interrupted when the door opened and Dave himself stepped through—all six feet odd inches of him, those broad shoulders making Benito’s apartment look smaller than it had a moment before.
And, damn him, he was every bit as attractive as I remembered. Maybe more so. He had a model’s cheekbones, and a wide, full mouth. His expression was as serious as I’d ever seen it. “Hi, gorgeous. Thank you for letting us drop by.”
Gorgeous. I never thought I’d hear him say that again.
“It’s my pleasure,” I said quickly. Then I wanted to kick myself for the breathy way it came out. And was I supposed to step up and hug him? Shake hands? What was the protocol for greeting your baby’s father?
“I have to apologize in advance for my sis…”
“Move your butt, Davey!”
My eyes widened as a woman with hair even more red than Dave’s pushed past my one-time hookup. In her arms was clutched a giant stuffed animal. A dog. And it too had red hair. “Is that an—”
“Irish setter!” Dave’s sister said with a smile. “It was either that or the Great Dane. But he was even larger. And I didn’t want you to hate me too much.”
“You only want her to hate you a little bit,” Dave said dryly.
His sister hip-checked him. “Introduce me, big brother.”
“I’m Zara,” I said in a hurry, taking care of the introductions myself. “And you met my brother Benito.”
“I’m Bess.” Suddenly my hands were full of a giant dog, and she’d wrapped her arms around me. “It’s an honor to meet you.”
An honor? After she let me go, I set the stuffed animal down on the floor beside the sofa, where it assumed a lazy position, its cute chin on its paws. “Nicole is going to lose her mind over the dog,” I said, swallowing hard. Who could resist a giant stuffy? “Thank you. That was really sweet.”
“I’m just getting started,” Bess said, rubbing her hands together.
“Bess,” Dave cautioned gently. Then he sighed.
She was a little terrifying, even if I knew she was only being enthusiastic. I gestured toward the kitchen. “Would you like some coffee? I also have muffins and cookies. In fact—take one now because I’ll probably make them disappear when Nicole wakes up. I don’t really let her eat sugar.” I was babbling now. Awesome.
“I would love a cup of coffee,” Dave said. He gave me a little smile, as if trying to tell me that he knew this was awkward as all hell.
Sprinting to the other end of the room, I poured a couple of cups of coffee and grabbed the plate of baked goods.
But when I carried the mug to Dave, I realized I didn’t even know how he took his coffee. “I have milk and sugar.”
“Black is just fine,” he said in a quiet voice. “Do you want us to come back another time? If she’s napping…”
“She’ll wake up really soon,” I said. “The big nap happens later in the day.”
Bess waved off the coffee, so I handed it to my brother, who was quietly watching this drama unfold. Bess took a tiny lemon muffin off the plate and took a bite. ??
?Yum! Are these from your coffee shop?”
“They are. This is Audrey’s recipe. I’m more of a chocolate girl.”
“It must be hard to run a business and take care of a baby,” she said, nibbling on the muffin.
“I like being my own boss,” I said quickly. “And my family has been really great.” Single-motherhood was exhausting, of course, but I was never admitting that to Bess. Aunt Bess, really.
Weird.
“This is a cool apartment,” she said, glancing around with a smile.
“It will be when it’s done,” I said, hating the half-constructed look we had going on in here. The floors were already gleaming, and the old leaded windows had been restored to their former glory. But the kitchen was a work in progress. The cabinets were new but the countertop was currently a big piece of plywood. “This is Benito’s place, and you can see that he’s still putting on the finishing touches. Nicole and I have been staying here because he was away for a few months.”
“But it’s yours for as long as you need,” my brother added quickly.
“It’s been great to be close to my business.” The tension was killing me, and I couldn’t stop talking. “My mother takes care of Nicole while I’m working. And this way I’ve been able to pop in during my work day. But I’m looking at houses up the hill in town. Nicole needs a yard to play in when she gets bigger.”
Gah. Somehow I clamped my jaw together and shut the hell up. My housing woes weren’t something I wanted to draw attention to.
“Davey,” Bess prompted. “Please give Zara that bag in your hand.”
He looked down at the shopping bag he was holding as if he’d never seen it before. “Of course.” He stepped forward and handed me the bag, which was from BabyGap. “My sister shoots first and asks questions later. But she brought you a few things just for fun.”
The bag was surprisingly heavy in my hand. She must have bought out the entire store. “Wow,” I said, sitting on the sofa. I opened the bag and pulled out a pink snowsuit with bear ears on the hood. Size 2T. “This is adorable.”
“The Detroit store had all their fall stuff out already,” Bess said. She was practically bouncing up and down at the other end of Ben’s L-shaped sofa.