"Louisa would so likethis Flora," said she, arguing with herself; "besides, it would be sogenerous in me to give it to her instead of that ugly mandarin; thatwould be doing only common justice, for I promised it to her, and sheexpects it. Though, when I come to look at this mandarin, it is not evenso good as hers was; the gilding is all rubbed off, so that I absolutelymust buy this for her. O yes, I will, and she will be so delighted! andthen every body will say it is the prettiest thing they ever saw, andthe broken mandarin will be forgotten forever."
Here Cecilia's hand moved, and she was just going to decide: "O! butstop," said she to herself; "consider Leonora gave me this box, and itis a keepsake; however, now we have quarreled, and I dare say that shewould not mind my parting with it; I'm sure that I should not care ifshe was to give away my keepsake the smelling bottle, or the ring whichI gave her; so what does it signify; besides, is it not my own, and haveI not a right to do what I please with it?"
At this dangerous instant for Cecilia, a party of her companions openedthe door; she knew that they came as purchasers, and she dreaded herFlora's becoming the prize of some higher bidder. "Here," said she,hastily putting the box into the pedlar's hand, without looking at it;"take it, and give me the Flora." Her hand trembled, though she snatchedit impatiently; she ran by, without seeming to mind any of hercompanions--she almost wished to turn back.
Let those who are tempted to do wrong by the hopes of futuregratification, or the prospect of certain concealment and impunity,remember that, unless they are totally depraved, they bear in their ownhearts a monitor who will prevent their enjoying what they have illobtained.
In vain Cecilia ran to the rest of her companions, to display herpresent, in hopes that the applause of others would restore her ownself-complacency; in vain she saw the Flora pass in due pomp from handto hand, each viewing with the other in extolling the beauty of the giftand the generosity of the giver. Cecilia was still displeased withherself, with them, and even with their praise; from Louisa's gratitude,however, she yet expected much pleasure, and immediately she ran upstairs to her room.
In the mean time Leonora had gone into the hall to buy a bodkin; she hadjust broken hers. In giving her change, the pedlar took out of hispocket, with some half-pence, the very box which Cecilia had sold him.Leonora did not in the least suspect the truth, for her mind was abovesuspicion; and besides, she had the utmost confidence in Cecilia. "Ishould like to have that box," said she, "for it is like one of which Iwas very fond."
The pedlar named the price, and Leonora took the box; she intended togive it to little Louisa.
On going to her room she found her asleep, and she sat down softly byher bed-side. Louisa opened her eyes.
"I hope I didn't disturb you," said Leonora.
"O no; I didn't hear you come in; but what have you got there?"
"It is only a little box; would you like to have it? I bought it onpurpose for you, as I thought perhaps it would please you; because it'slike that which I gave Cecilia."
"O yes! that out of which she used to give me Barbary drops. I am verymuch obliged to you. I always thought _that_ exceedingly pretty; andthis, indeed, is as like it as possible. I can't unscrew it; will youtry?"
Leonora unscrewed it.
"Goodness!" exclaimed Louisa, "this must be Cecilia's box; look, don'tyou see a great L at the bottom of it?"
Leonora's colour changed. "Yes," she replied calmly, "I see that, but itis no proof that it is Cecilia's; you know that I bought this box justnow of the pedlar."
"That may be," said Louisa; "but I remember scratching that L with myown needle, and Cecilia scolded me for it, too. Do go and ask her if shehas lost her box--do," repeated Louisa, pulling her by the sleeve, asshe did not seem to listen.
Leonora indeed did not hear, for she was lost in thought; she wascomparing circumstances, which had before escaped her attention. Sherecollected that Cecilia had passed her as she came into the hall,without seeming to see her, but had blushed as she passed. Sheremembered that the pedlar appeared unwilling to part with the box, andwas going to put it again into his pocket with the half-pence; "and whyshould he keep it in his pocket and not show it with his other things?"Combining all these circumstances, Leonora had no longer any doubt ofthe truth; for though she had honourable confidence in her friends, shehad too much penetration to be implicitly credulous. "Louisa," shebegan, but at this instant she heard a step, which, by its quickness,she knew to be Cecilia's, coming along the passage. "If you love me,Louisa," said Leonora, "say nothing about the box."
"Nay, but why not? I dare say she has lost it."
"No, my dear, I am afraid she has not." Louisa looked surprised.
"But I have reasons for desiring you not to say any thing about it."
"Well, then, I won't, indeed."
Cecilia opened the door, came forward smiling, as if secure of a goodreception, and, taking the Flora out of the case, she placed it on themantel-piece, opposite to Louisa's bed. "Dear, how beautiful," criedLouisa, starting up.
"Yes," said Cecilia, "and guess who it's for?"
"For me, perhaps!" said the ingenuous Louisa.
"Yes, take it, and keep it for my sake; you know that I broke yourmandarin."
"O! but this is a great deal prettier and larger than that."
"Yes, I know it is; and I meant that it should be so. I should only havedone what I was bound to do if I had only given you a mandarin."
"Well, and that would have been enough, surely; but what a beautifulcrown of roses! and then that basket of flowers! they almost look as ifI could smell them. Dear Cecilia! I'm very much obliged to you, but Iwon't take it by way of payment for the mandarin you broke; for I'm sureyou could not help that; and, besides, I should have broken it myself bythis time. You shall give it to me entirely, and I'll keep it as long asI live as your keepsake."
Louisa stopped short and coloured. The word keepsake recalled the boxto her mind, and all the train of ideas which the Flora had banished."But," said she, looking up wishfully in Cecilia's face, and holding theFlora doubtfully, "did you----"
Leonora, who was just quitting the room, turned her head back, and gaveLouisa a look, which silenced her.
Cecilia was so infatuated with her vanity, that she neither perceivedLeonora's sign, nor Louisa's confusion, but continued showing off herpresent, by placing it in various situations, till at length she put itinto the case, and laying it down with an affected carelessness upon thebed, "I must go now, Louisa. Good bye," said she, running up and kissingher; "but I'll come again presently;" then clapping the door after her,she went.
But as soon as the fermentation of her spirits subsided, the sense ofshame, which had been scarcely felt when mixed with so many othersensations, rose uppermost in her mind. "What?" said she to herself,"is it possible that I have sold what I promised to keep for ever? andwhat Leonora gave me? and I have concealed it too, and have been makinga parade of my generosity. O! what would Leonora, what would Louisa,what would every body think of me, if the truth were known?"
Humiliated and grieved by these reflections, Cecilia began to search inher own mind for some consoling idea. She began to compare her conductwith the conduct of others of her own age; and at length, fixing hercomparison upon her brother George, as the companion of whom, from herinfancy, she had been habitually the most emulous, she recollected thatan almost similar circumstance had once happened to him, and that he hadnot only escaped disgrace, but had acquired glory by an intrepidconfession of his fault. Her father's words to her brother, on thatoccasion, she also perfectly recollected.
"Come to me, George," he said, holding out his hand; "you are agenerous, brave boy. They who dare to confess their faults will makegreat and good men."
These were his words; but Cecilia, in repeating them to herself, forgotto lay that emphasis on the word _men_, which would have placed it incontradistinction to the word women. She willingly believed that theobservation extended equally to both sexes, and flattered herself thatshe should exceed her brother in mer
it, if she owned a fault which shethought that it would be so much more difficult to confess. "Yes, but,"said she, stopping herself, "how can I confess it? This very evening, ina few hours, the prize will be decided; Leonora or I shall win it. Ihave now as good a chance as Leonora, perhaps a better; and must I giveup all my hopes? all that I have been labouring for this month past! O,I never can;--if it were to-morrow, or yesterday, or any day but this, Iwould not hesitate, but now I am almost certain of the prize, and if Iwin it--well, why then I will--I think, I will tell all--yes, I will; Iam determined," said Cecilia.
Here a bell summoned them to dinner. Leonora sat opposite to her, andshe was not a little surprised to see Cecilia look so gay andunrestrained. "Surely," said she to herself, "if Cecilia had done this,that I suspect, she would not, she could not look as she does." ButLeonora little knew the cause of her gayety; Cecilia was never in higherspirits, or better pleased with herself, than when she had resolved upona sacrifice or a confession.
"Must not this evening be given to the most amiable? Whose, then, willit be?" All eyes glanced first at Cecilia and then at Leonora. Ceciliasmiled; Leonora blushed. "I see that it is not yet decided," said Mrs.Villars; and immediately they ran up stairs, amidst confusedwhisperings.
Cecilia's voice could be distinguished far above the rest. "How can shebe so happy?" said Leonora to herself. "O, Cecilia, there was a timewhen you could not have neglected me so!--when we were always together,the best of friends and companions, our wishes, tastes, and pleasuresthe same. Surely she did once love me," said Leonora; "but now she isquite changed. She has even sold my keepsake, and would rather win abracelet of hair from girls whom she did not always think so muchsuperior to Leonora, than have my esteem, my confidence, and myfriendship, for her whole life; yes, for her whole life, for I am sureshe will be an amiable woman. Oh that this bracelet had never beenthought of, or that I was certain of her winning it; for I am certainthat I do not wish to win it from her. I would rather, a thousand timesrather, that we were as we used to be, than have all the glory in theworld. And how pleasing Cecilia can be when she wishes to please! howcandid she is! how much she can improve herself!--let me be just,though she has offended me--she is wonderfully improved within this lastmonth; for one fault, and _that_ against myself, should I forget all hermerits?"
As Leonora said these last words, she could but just hear the voices ofher companions; they had left her alone in the gallery. She knockedsoftly at Louisa's door----"Come in," said Louisa. "I in not asleep. Oh,"said she, starting up with the Flora in her hand, the instant that thedoor was opened. "I'm so glad you are come, Leonora, for I did so longto hear what you were all making such a noise about--have you forgotthat the bracelet----"
"O yes! is this the evening?"
"Well, here's my white shell for you. I've kept it in my pocket thisfortnight; and though Cecilia did give me this Flora, I still love you agreat deal better."
"I thank you, Louisa," said Leonora, gratefully. "I will take yourshell, and I shall value it as long as I live. But here is a red one,and if you wish to show me that you love me, you will give this toCecilia. I know that she is particularly anxious for your preference,and I am sure that she deserves it."
"Yes, if I could I would choose both of you; but you know I can onlychoose which I like the best."
"If you mean, my dear Louisa," said Leonora, "that you like me the best,I am very much obliged to you; for, indeed I wish you to love me; but itis enough for me to know it in private. I should not feel the least morepleasure at hearing it in public, or in having it made known to all mycompanions, especially at a time when it would give poor Cecilia a greatdeal of pain."
"But why should it give her pain? I don't like her for being jealous ofyou."
"Nay, Louisa, surely you don't think Cecilia jealous; she only tries toexcel and to please. She is more anxious to succeed than I am, it istrue, because she has a great deal more activity, and perhaps moreambition; and it would really mortify her to lose this prize. You knowthat she proposed it herself; it has been her object for this monthpast, and I am sure she has taken great pains to obtain it."
"But, dear Leonora, why should you lose it?"
"Indeed, my dear, it would be no loss to me; and, if it were, I wouldwillingly suffer it for Cecilia; for, though we seem not to be such goodfriends as we used to be, I love her very much, and she will love meagain, I'm sure she will; when she no longer fears me as a rival, shewill again love me as a friend."
Here Leonora heard a number of her companions running along the gallery.They all knocked hastily at the door, calling, "Leonora! Leonora! willyou never come? Cecilia has been with us this half hour."
Leonora smiled. "Well, Louisa," said she, smiling, "will you promiseme?"
"O, I'm sure, by the way they speak to you, that they won't give youthe prize!" said the little Louisa; and the tears started into her eyes.
"They love me though, for all that; and as for the prize, you know whomI wish to have it."
"Leonora! Leonora!" called her impatient companions; "don't you hear us?What are you about?"
"O, she never will take any trouble about any thing," said one of theparty; "let's go away."
"O go! go! make haste," cried Louisa; "don't stay, they are so angry--Iwill, I will, indeed!"
"Remember, then, that you have promised me," said Leonora, and she leftthe room. During all this time Cecilia had been in the garden with hercompanions. The ambition which she had felt to win the first prize, theprize of superior talents and superior application, was not to becompared to the absolute anxiety which she now expressed to win thissimple testimony of the love and approbation of her equals and rivals.
To employ her exuberant activity, she had been dragging branches oflilacs, and laburnums, roses, and sweet-briar, to ornament the bower inwhich her fate was to be decided. It was excessively hot, but her mindwas engaged, and she was indefatigable. She stood still, at last, toadmire her works; her companions all joined in loud applause. They werenot a little prejudiced in her favour by the great eagerness which sheexpressed to win their prize, and by the great importance which sheseemed to affix to the preference of each individual. At last, "Where isLeonora?" cried one of them, and immediately, as we have seen, they ranto call her.
Cecilia was left alone. Overcome with heat and too violent exertion, shehad hardly strength to support herself; each moment appeared to herintolerably long; she was in a state of the utmost suspense, and all hercourage failed her; even hope forsook her, and hope is a cordial whichleaves the mind depressed and enfeebled. "The time is now come," saidCecilia; "in a few moments it will be decided. In a few moments!goodness! how much I do hazard! If I should not win the prize, how shallI confess what I have done? How shall I beg Leonora to forgive me? I,who hoped to restore my friendship to her as an honour!--they are goneto seek for her--the moment she appears I shall be forgotten--whatshall--what shall I do?" said Cecilia, covering her face with her hands.
Such was her situation, when Leonora, accompanied by her companions,opened the hall-door; they most of them ran forward to Cecilia. AsLeonora came into the bower, she held out her hand to Cecilia----"Weare not rivals, but friends, I hope," said she. Cecilia clasped herhand, but she was in too great agitation to speak.
The table was now set in the arbour--the vase was now placed in themiddle. "Well!" said Cecilia, eagerly, "who begins?" Caroline, one ofher friends, came forward first, and then all the others successively.Cecilia's emotion was hardly conceivable.----"Now they are all in.Count them, Caroline!"
"One, two, three, four; the numbers are both equal." There was a deadsilence.
"No, they are not," exclaimed Cecilia, pressing forward and puttinga shell into the vase----"I have not given mine, and I give it toLeonora." Then snatching the bracelet, "It is yours, Leonora," said she;"take it, and give me back your friendship." The whole assembly gave auniversal clap and shout of applause.
"I cannot be surprised at this from you, Cecilia," said Leonora; "and doyou then
still love me as you used to do?"
"O Leonora! stop! don't praise me; I don't deserve this," said she,turning to her loudly applauding companions; "you will soon despiseme--O Leonora, you will never forgive me!--I have deceived you--I havesold----"
At this instant Mrs. Villars appeared--the crowd divided--she had heardall that passed from her window.
"I applaud your generosity, Cecilia," said she, "but I am to tell youthat in this instance it is unsuccessful; you have it not in your powerto give the prize to Leonora--it is yours--I have another vote to giveyou--you have forgotten Louisa."
"Louisa! but surely, ma'am, Louisa loves Leonora better than she doesme!"
"She commissioned me, however," said Mrs. Villars, "to give you a redshell, and you will find it in this box."
Cecilia started, and turned as pale as death--it was the fatal box.
Mrs. Villars produced another box--she opened it--it contained theFlora--"And Louisa also desired me," said she, "to return you thisFlora"--she put it into Cecilia's hand--Cecilia trembled so that shecould not