The smell of jasmine wafting on the damp moist air was somehow unsettling today as I walked down our long winding driveway to the letterbox. Tired and out of sorts I sat down on the old stone wall by the harbor staring idly at the incoming tide as I waited for the postman.
An overwhelming sense of foreboding engulfed me as I heard the roar of the postman's motorbike. I looked at my watch it was exactly1pm. It amazed me how he always arrived never a second before or after.
Not even a smile crossed the postman's lips today as I signed for the registered parcel I was expecting from Eric's solicitor.
His eyes averted mine reminding me of our fleeting meeting yesterday in the corridor of the registry office. I'd just collected the copy of the first known transfer of deeds to our house when he'd brushed past me knocking the unopened envelope containing them to the floor.
I could have sworn then, as I did now, that he knew the content of that envelope and the parcel he was now handing me.
I looked at him suspiciously, until now I had always thought of him as just a 'postie' and had hardly given him a second glance.
His fair, youthful face twisted sardonically in a rueful grimace as I took the parcel from him, and for a fleeting moment I saw the long leathery talons that were his hands.
I stood there stunned as he waved me goodbye his hands no longer the hideous talons I'd seen just moments before.
Shaken I walked back along the driveway in turmoil. Had my mind just played tricks with me?
The faint roar of the postman's motorbike in the distance seemed to mock me as I looked up at the old manor. How I wished now that I hadn't delved deeper into its past. Its connection to the town's namesake I'd discovered was now a troubling reality making the information in Eric's diary more credible.
Thinking of Eric made me wonder of the timing of the parcel I held in my hands. I gasped. Could it be just a co-incidence that I'd received it today, the anniversary of Eric's death?
My body shook from emotion, all day I'd tried to avoid the painful memory, grateful that Jamie hadn't seemed to realize what day it was.
Now it was confronting me in no uncertain terms.
This parcel what did it hold? The brief phone call yesterday from Eric's solicitor had informed me only of its arrival today, nothing else.
A sense of urgency engulfed me and I hurried inside and climbed the stairs to the privacy of my bedroom.
I slumped into the chair beside my bed and kicked off my shoes and stared at the parcel. It was ridiculous but I felt afraid to open it. Procrastinating I studied its brown paper wrapping.
My god! Why hadn't I noticed before?
My hands shook, afraid of what I was thinking as I stared at that crest of twisted snakes embedded in the wax seal
My heart was racing, I could hardly breathe.
In a daze I tore off the wrapping. Taped to a sealed leather sachet was a letter from Eric's solicitor.
Once again that insignia of twisted snakes appeared on his letterhead, taunting me. I knew I had to address it in my mind and admit that the connection to Eric's solicitor was deeper than I ever imagined.
Anxiously I read the brief letter barely able to grasp the reality of its words. The leather sachet had been held in trust according to Eric's instructions to be delivered the day before our son's thirteenth birthday
My pulse quickened as I broke the seal on the sachet. Once again the crest of twisted snakes was embedded there.
Inside was an envelope tied with silver string. I thought my heart would stop beating as I recognized my husbands handwriting scrawled across it. My god, it can't be, it's a letter from Eric!
With shaky hands I untied the silver string and tore the envelope open. Tears rolled down my cheeks as his unmistakable scent wafted from the pages. A lonely tear fell onto those first precious words 'Stacey my love' and I was overcome with grief. I rocked back and forth trying desperately to quell the river of tears that threatened to drown his letter into oblivion.
Sobbing I wiped my tears from Erics letter and with blurry eyes tried to focus on those words which I hoped would bring me peace.
Thunder reverberated through the house rattling the windowpanes bringing me back to my surroundings as I read the last words of Eric's letter. I felt strangely numb, drained of emotion. I looked down at the tear soaked letter in my lap; it had not brought me peace only despair.
My eyes were so sore, it hurt to blink, I couldn't possibly cry anymore. I dragged my red eyes away from Eric's letter and stared at my bedroom ceiling trying to absorb this new information.
Reason had no longer anything to do with the strange things that were happening in Braden and in my family. I knew this now. Eric was many things, but crazy was not one of them. No, despite the lack of proof, I believed in the man I love. I trusted Eric.
I hauled my reluctant body out of the chair and following the instructions in the letter climbed those dreaded stairs to the attic.
True to its words Eric's letter guided me to where he'd hid the remaining pages of his diary. Clutching those precious pages to my chest I stumbled back to my room.
I sat down on my bed drained of emotion. My head throbbed and my eyes strained from crying, hurt.
The room seemed unnaturally quiet, filled with an oppressiveness that I'd never experienced before. The walls felt as though they were closing in on me and it was all I could do to refrain from screaming.
My hands caressed those pages willing Eric to return to me, protect me from the world he'd revealed to me. His familiar scent wafted from the pages beckoning me, calming me in only the way my husband could.
Stronger now I unfolded the pages of his diary and to my surprise a photograph and birth certificate fell to the floor. I picked them up and stared at the oddly familiar image of the young girl in the photo. I could tell it was very old, so why did I feel as if I had known her.
Touching the outlines of the petite girl staring back at me, I was flooded with memories of the orphanage where I'd spent the first years of my life. I had long since forgotten its location, yet there in the background of the photo it stood, its name finally revealed. 'Apogee Mountain Orphanage'
My body shook, how could it be? I too like Eric had been born in Braden!
I could hardly believe it, was my endless search really over?
Had I unwittingly come full circle back to where my life had begun...or had it been part of a master plan?
Again more questions...will they never end?
I looked down at the birth certificate in my lap. Was it mine...had Eric discovered it and hidden it along with that photograph to protect me?
No...it couldn't be possible!
The information recorded there shocked me to the core. I couldn't believe my eyes; the certificate had to be a fake...otherwise....
Sobbing I paced up and down my bedroom unable and unwilling to comprehend the enormity of this revelation.
I reached for the pages of Eric's diary. I had to read them. Surely they would reveal the birth certificate as a cruel hoax.
Page by page they revealed to me what I feared. I sat there stunned. Eric's words kept whirling around in my head. I couldn't escape them no matter how hard I tried. Shaking uncontrollably the pages fell from my hands to the floor.
What am I, who am I? I swallowed the urge to throw up. How was I supposed to tell Jamie? Aliens... his father's long lost twin sister?
I now understood why Eric had kept from me what he'd learnt and had hidden his diary and my birth certificate.
My stomach heaved again and I raced to the bathroom.