Without breathing, I raised the gun. The cool feeling of the barrel against my temple was calming and comforting.
It would all be over soon. I wouldn’t have to think about anything but my own branding in just a moment. I had endured plenty of those, this would be easy.
Taking a deep breath, I squeezed the trigger.
Click.
It took me a moment to realize what happened as the sound died. I drew the gun away, opened the chamber. It was empty. I then realized it felt lighter then when Cole had first given it to me. It was as if someone was trying to play a cruel, sick joke on me by emptying the gun that had held my only escape.
The gun dropped to the floor with a thud and a fresh wave of tears consumed me. The reality of what I had almost done and what I now couldn’t do hit me like a ton of bricks. My head dropped to my knees as I pulled them into my chest, my shoulders shaking as I let the tears have me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
I was acutely aware of the sound of rustling wings as it disrupted the silence I grieved in. I nearly sighed in relief.
Cole had come back to finish me off.
I didn’t turn around to see him come. I didn’t want to look into those eyes again, to run the risk that he might make me feel things again that weren’t real. I kept my back to him, wishing he would simply get it over with as quickly as possible.
The approach of the sound of rustling wings was hesitant, almost unsure as I heard it come across the room.
This seemed strange; Cole was never hesitant about anything.
I felt the brush of feathers on one of my arms and I tried not to shudder. More rustling sounds, as if he was crouching behind me. I felt a warm hand touch my shoulder and a tear rolled down my cheek again as familiar sensations flooded through me. The touch was so warm, too familiar on a soulful level and yet I knew that touch would never be warm again. Cole was going to be cruel by trying to make me feel for him what I felt for Alex, even with his dead body still in the room.
“Please,” I started to beg. I wanted to tell him to just get it over with but my vocal chords didn’t seem to want to work.
The strong hand on my shoulder started to turn me toward him and I couldn’t find the strength to fight it. I turned to face what I hoped was the final end to my pain.
A pair of steel grey eyes stared into mine, locking my gaze in a way that made it impossible for me to breathe.
They were so familiar yet so foreign. The face that held them didn’t belong. It was the wrong eyes with the wrong face.
Alex stared intently into my face with those foreign grey eyes. Yet he was so different. His handsome face seemed enhanced, his skin flawless and fluid. He was so radiatingly beautiful it was almost painful to look at him.
All evidence of the blood that had covered him was now gone, replaced by only impossible perfection. That perfection carried down into his body, whole and complete.
His chest was bare, evidence of his shredded shirt strewn across the room.
I realized that the brush of wings I had felt earlier had not come from Cole. It had come from Alex.
Alex’s own pair of massive wings sprouted from his bare back. Every feather was perfectly formed and in its place. Each one was the purest white imaginable but I knew how they would look in the sun, how the light would reflect back the impossible metallic color.
A horrifying realization hit me as I felt myself leaning towards him. This most likely wasn’t real. I had seen Cole kill Alex and then leave. Cole was still around somewhere and he had made me see things that weren’t real before.
This glorious man before me could in fact be Cole himself.
I was on my feet and sprinting out the door before I even bothered to see how this man who looked like Alex would react. My step didn’t slow as I took the stairs two at a time and bounded across Cole’s living room to the front door. The rain that had poured earlier had subsided into mist and it clung to my skin and clothes as I bounded across the street and continued up the hillside.
Reason and thought held no place in my mind as I barreled through the woods. I tripped and stumbled through the tangled ferns, tree roots erupted from the ground and they seemed to try and hinder my path to nowhere. I didn’t know where I was going or why exactly I was running. Had I not just been wishing for Cole to finish me off? Perhaps that was what he was going to do when I had fled.
With this thought I came to a standstill. There was no sight of any of the houses that surrounded the lake, nor could I even see the lake itself anymore. There were only towering trees that surrounded me on the hillside, thick and dense enough to absorb almost all sound. Had I been thinking straight I might have wondered how I had gotten this far up the mountain so fast.
If my sense of hearing not still been so enhanced I would not have heard the almost undetectable footsteps that approached from behind.
He didn’t say anything at first and I only faintly heard the sound of air as it flowed in and out of his nose. My body remained stiff and rigid as I waited for some kind of crushing blow I knew an angel could deliver. I had only slightly felt the evidence of Cole’s inhuman strength; I had seen it first hand as he had thrown Alex’s body around. But it never came and the man behind me kept his distance.
“I went to check on you that night on the yacht and saw that you were sleeping.” It was unmistakably Alex’s voice but it was so beautiful, I would have marveled at just the sound of it had I not been so doubtful and wary. “I wanted to stay with you but you were so adamant that you wanted to be alone. You had been acting so strange all night, I wasn’t sure what to do or think.”
“Cole was there,” I whispered, still not turning to face him. I could see no harm in telling this. If this man who looked like my Alex really was Cole, he would know this anyway. He had been there. “You couldn’t see him, I couldn’t see him. He made himself invisible somehow. He threatened to kill the both of us if I didn’t do as he said.”
“That explains a few things I suppose,” he said after a moment’s hesitation. “I went to check on you again in the morning and you were gone. My first instinct was panic but I tried to reason with myself, that there was a chance you may have just gone for a walk or something so I waited anxiously. When you didn’t return I started looking for you.
I must have searched the whole city for you. Seattle’s a big city.
“I called back to the house but you didn’t answer. I didn’t know where else to look. I didn’t know what to think.
“I hadn’t heard anything in the night but maybe you had been kidnapped. Perhaps I had done something to upset you and you decided to leave. There were all these possibilities but I didn’t know what to think or do. And then I thought maybe your dad would know something, since you had talked to him that day.
“It wasn’t too hard to track him down. Ucon, Idaho isn’t a very big town and he was the only Bailey listed. I called him and explained that you were missing. I asked him if he knew anything, if something had maybe happened while you two were talking.”
As the sun disappeared through the trees a strange grey hue settled itself into the mist, giving everything an unearthly like glow. It only enhanced the bizarreness of everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours.
“He told me everything about the conversation the two of you had,” he continued. “He told me about why you started having the nightmares, how you had been so sick. I put the two together pretty quickly, that you were experiencing the same things now. He then told me that he had promised you he would return home, because you were afraid of a dangerous angel from your nightmares. That this angel lived just two doors down from you.”
As Alex continued to reveal what seemed to be the truth, I started to realize that if this really were Cole in disguise this explanation would not be going the same.
“It wasn’t hard to guess who that meant,” the hatred in Alex’s voice surprised me. I had never heard him sound hateful in any way.
“Your dad flew back t
o Seattle that night and I picked him up from the airport. The first place we checked out was of course Cole’s but he never would answer the door. Most of the drapes had been pulled, all the lights were out and we couldn’t see anything. All the doors had been locked. It looked as if he had abandoned the place.
“We went to the police and filed a missing person’s report but they weren’t exactly helpful. Your dad wanted to try and get a warrant to go into Cole’s house but what evidence did we have? And even if there was any, why would they believe us?”
I agreed internally. I was glad they hadn’t gotten too far with the police. It would have sounded crazy. With this thought, I admitted to myself that I was determining that the man behind me was not in fact Cole. My pulse quickened and I felt the spark of life ignite within me slightly again.
“We tried to think of everywhere you might have gone to hide. Perhaps you had just gotten scared and ran, to escape Cole. We didn’t come up with much though; we didn’t even know where to start.”
I heard Alex take a step closer and my heart gave a strange flutter. I didn’t retreat, didn’t try to keep that gap between us.
“And then I had the idea to go visit Sal. I didn’t know if I expected to turn anything up from it but it had been a long time since I had seen her. I figured it couldn’t hurt to talk to her.
“Imagine my surprise when Sal told me you had just been in to see her not an hour before,” Alex continued, his voice stiff. “She told me how terrible you looked. She kept telling me you had turned into a skeleton but that you said everything was going to be fine soon. She said you told her that you and Cole had to leave. That you couldn’t stay. She said that you told her goodbye and Sal said she was afraid she wouldn’t ever see you again.”
I could hear Alex’s frame stiffen and his voice sounded strained when he spoke. “I knew three things then. You were dying. Somehow you knew it was going to end soon.
And Cole was involved with how it would end.” Alex grew quiet and I somehow sensed he didn’t want to tell me the next part.
“What happened, Alex?” I whispered. As the words slipped out of my mouth I turned around to face him. He stood twenty feet away, his chest still bare but the glorious wings now gone. His steel grey eyes seemed to nearly glow as he gazed through the thick mist at me. I couldn’t deny it anymore, couldn’t fight it. This wasn’t Cole playing a cruel joke on me. This was my Alex and he had done something in exchange for my life to become this way.
“I…I…” he hesitated and I could tell he wanted to come closer. “I made a deal,” he whispered, his eyes never wavering from mine. “I could only hope someone was listening but I said that if you could lead a normal life, normal as in full and healthy and free of the trials, I would offer myself in your stead.”
Before I could voice the protests of horror that filled my head Alex rushed on. “I went to Cole’s and when no one answered, I broke in through the back door. I couldn’t wait any longer, I had to find you. I found that awful room you had been in. I found your clothes and I knew that you had been kept there. I also found that gun and I was terrified of what might have already happened. I checked it and was slightly relieved to see that it was still full. Good thing I took the bullets out.” Hints at that smile that I loved so much played at the corner of his lips.
It took me a moment to realize what he meant. He was referring to my little meltdown when I had tried to turn the gun on myself. I had been right when I thought it had felt heavier when Cole had given it to me.
“And then amazingly you walked through the door, alive, but looking only seconds from death. I nearly didn’t recognize you.
“You know the next part but basically Cole sealed the deal when he, well, killed me.”
I cringed as he said the word. It confirmed all the more the horrific truth. Alex was indeed dead; this wasn’t a human anymore that stood before me.
Alex took one hesitant step forward, followed by another. His eyes held mine intensely as he did so, seeming to give me permission to tell him to stop at any moment. I didn’t.
“I knew the trials terrified you and I believed you had good reason for being so afraid. I never imagined it was as bad as the truth. As I stood before the council members there was quite a stir among everyone as they debated my fate.”
A light clicked in my head. “You haven’t been judged yet,” I blurted out, awe filling my voice.
“How did you know?” he questioned, his brow furrowed.
“Your eyes, they’re grey now. When you are judged, you either receive blue eyes or black. Only those who aren’t judged yet have grey.”
Alex’s expression seemed genuinely surprised. Cole would have known this without a doubt. I couldn’t deny it anymore and an extreme sense of calm and gratitude filled me as I extended my hands toward him.
“Show me,” I said quietly, my voice barely audible.
Alex looked uncertain as he slowly closed the gap between us. He stopped just a foot in front of me, not yet taking my hands.
“I don’t know how,” he said as he looked down at my hands.
“Cole could make me see things. I know most of them weren’t real but I’m afraid some of them might have one day become real,” I said as I swallowed hard. “Just try and think about it. I want to see what happened.”
This was only partially true. While I trusted Alex with more than just my life, I didn’t want to go back to seeing things that weren’t real, to have my head feel like it was in a fog again. But I wanted to know the truth, to understand what exactly it was Alex had done.
His eyes were hesitant as they met mine but he took both of my hands in his. As he did so, a sense of rightness and calm flooded through my system and at the same time it felt as if a fire had been let loose in my veins. There was no doubting it, this was my Alex. This was the man I loved more than I thought anyone in the world could love someone.
Alex’s eyes burned intensely into mine and as he did so the trees that surrounded us melted away and the mist seemed to form into solid stone walls. The cylinder that I knew all too well encircled us, the demented voices of the condemned and the singing of the exalted mixing into a chaotic chorus.
I was standing at the mouth of the tunnel that led back to the prison cell I knew so well, watching as Alex stood with his hands bound in the golden cord before the council.
Seeing him there sent waves of terror through my system.
He didn’t belong there, he shouldn’t have had to stand there for many, many years to come.
“What this boy has done is against nature,” one of the condemned council members cried out. In all the trials I had stood I had never heard them deviate from their normal jargon of the trials. I stood frozen in my place, intrigued as much as I was horrified. “Who is he to make a plea like this?”
“Have you ever seen an act so selfless though?” an exalted woman asked as she leaned forward in her seat, looking into the faces of all the council members. This seemed to quiet the condemned members protests.
“Please,” Alex said, and despite his claim of being terrified, his voice sounded confident. “I only want for her to have a normal life. She doesn’t deserve having to stand trial for things she didn’t do. She’s…” his voice filled with emotion and he glanced down at the floor. “She’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. I will do anything.” The council members were silent for a moment but those seated on the stairwell that wound around the cylinder erupted with more noise. The exalted made awing sounds, their faces serene and caring looking. Those with the black eyes hissed and protested with words unknown to human ears.
It was the leader of those with blue eyes who spoke first. “We shall put it to a vote,” he said as he stared intently at Alex. “I vote to grant your request. I also vote to allow you to return to the human world and give you more time with this woman you are willing to trade so much for.” With these words all hell broke loose. Wings bat anxiously and furiously from all around, the hissing grew to shou
ting and gasps escaped the mouths of most all.
Each of the condemned council members gave their vote, all but the leader of the condemned denying that Alex should be allowed to return and denying Alex’s request for my life to return to normal. The new leader simply did not cast a vote on either matter.
The votes of the remaining four exalted council members took much longer to be heard. They each debated internally as to what both of our fates would be but in the end both counts were voted to be granted.
Shouts of joy and excitement came from one crowd while the other seemed to have had enough. They coiled their powerful wings and plunged into the fiery depths below.
“I would like to make one more request,” Alex suddenly spoke as the sounds of chaos died down. Each of the council members froze as their eyes bored into Alex.
“One of your own is still in her world. With his task failed I fear for what he might do in order to exact revenge. I ask that her family and dearest friend be protected from him somehow.”
Alex’s bold request more than shocked both the council members and me. Had he not already asked something huge and impossible? Now he wanted something more?
While the black eyed council members simply raged in protest, the others debated for several minutes. It was the female council member who spoke this time.
“Young man, what you have already asked is more than should be given. But, we have never seen such a display of selflessness and for that we commend you. You have our guarantee that this woman’s family and friend will not be harmed by the angel who has wrongfully escaped.”
“Thank you,” Alex breathed as his signature smile nearly burst forth on his face. “Thank you.” As soon as he said this, the smile on his face faded and twisted into a look of at first confusion and then into agony.
I could see the skin on his back ripple and shiver and after just a moment a beautiful, massive pair of wings burst from his skin. When he looked back up at the council the blue in his eyes was washed out into grey.