CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
The clatter of dishes being washed in my kitchen drew me from my thoughts. I quickly washed my hair, still not noticing the way the ice cold water was all too soothing to my scorching skin.
I dressed slowly, unsure of how I was going to do what I knew I had to do. I wasn’t a good actress, but I knew I had to protect Alex from this. I had already put too much on him. I wouldn’t let him bear the weight of knowing the possibility this whole nightmare was real. I cared for him enough to keep that away from him.
The face that stared back at me in the mirror looked calm and composed. I sat before it for a good full minute practicing before I felt I had really gotten it down. It may not have been my true and natural expression but hopefully the lie would be good enough.
I was going to have to pretend everything was perfectly fine.
Alex was indeed at the sink, just setting the last of the dishes on a towel to dry. When he heard my approach he turned, that dazzling smile that, to me, was more warming than the sun itself, spread on his face. I could see the concern in his eyes though, almost a permanent thing these days. A small crack broke across my heart, knowing I was the cause of so much worry and distress in his life. I was going to try my best to change that.
“Good morning,” I said softly, making sure my voice sounded natural. I took the few steps to close the gap between us, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest.
“Morning,” he breathed as he pressed a soft kiss into my still wet hair. “Sorry I slept so long.”
“Don’t worry about it. You were really restless in your sleep last night, I’m sure you needed it. Were you having nightmares?”
“Yeah,” was all he said as took a step away and held me at arm’s length, looking intently into my face. His expression was serious and deep but I couldn’t discern the thoughts behind it. I didn’t get a chance to question him about it though as he pressed a quick kiss to my lips then, taking my hand in his, started toward the door that led to the rest of the house.
“I’m making some breakfast, or maybe brunch I suppose,” he said as he started up the stairs. “Is there any chance you will eat with me?”
My stomach gave the usual lurch at the thought of food but my will would have to be stronger than that today. I was pretending everything was normal after all. “I think I could use something to eat,” I lied, hoping it sounded natural.
I took a seat at the bar and watched Alex as he went to work. He started some bacon and eggs before beginning work on French toast and what I could only guess was to become homemade syrup. It would have been enough food to feed four very hungry people. I hoped he was starving.
I was glad Alex seemed so focused on the work he was doing and didn’t seem to feel the need for constant chatter. My mind reeled as I tried to come up with the next part of whatever I was going to do.
Alex set everything on the bar before me, apparently to be served buffet style. The smell was delicious despite how I had been feeling the last few weeks. But my strangely increased vision caught every little detail of the food, every speck of grease, every vein of fat that ran through the bacon, every tiny grain of sugar that hadn’t been dissolved. Despite the strange details I couldn’t help but see, I knew it would be delicious, of that I had no doubt. Alex had cooked it after all. If only my stomach would cooperate.
Trying to make sure Alex would be satisfied, I set two pieces of French toast on my plate and a small helping of the eggs. I didn’t think I could trust myself to keep down the bacon. Alex quickly piled on large amounts of everything and dug in without a word. I couldn’t help but smile. He may have been the most amazing and perfect man I had ever met but he was still a man. Men loved food.
We ate in silence for a few minutes and I was quite proud of myself for how well I was doing. Everything tasted wonderful and the homemade syrup was absolutely divine. Considering how my stomach tried to do small rolls the entire time and how my nerves were still so strung out, I thought I was doing amazingly well.
“I was wondering,” I finally started, hoping I would be able to make this sound right without making myself sound just plain stupid. “It’s been warming up the last little bit and it’s getting close to spring. I would really like to get started on the gardens and hoped you could run into town and pick up some stuff I need.”
“Sure,” he replied through a mouthful of eggs, nodding his head. “Though I think maybe you should wait to start any work till you are feeling better. You shouldn’t over do it.”
I gave a little half smile, hoping my face looked almost back to its normal state. “I actually feel good today. No chills and look, I’m keeping everything down,” I said as I indicated the small portion of food before me.
He considered this as he looked at my face, almost as if he was looking for the lie that truly was there. He finally gave a nod. “You do seem better today. I still think you should wait a few days though, just to make sure this isn’t just some fluke this morning.”
I gave an eager nod. I wasn’t going to fight him about this. It didn’t matter if he thought I should wait to do what I was pretending to be so suddenly interested in. I just needed him out of the house for a few hours.
“Deal,” I agreed with a smile. “I’m going to try and get caught up on some of the laundry while you’re out. I’ve got next to no clothes left to wear now.”
He gave a little chuckle at this. “I may be able to do the cooking and the dishes while you’re sick but I’m not going to touch your laundry. Believe me, that would be a huge mistake.”
I couldn’t help but laugh with him at this. I couldn’t expect him to be perfect at everything.
While Alex worked on cleaning up after breakfast, I went downstairs and worked on sorting all the laundry that had been building up for the last two weeks. It was too bad I wasn’t actually planning on doing it; it would take me at least a full day to get caught up.
When Alex finished upstairs he came back downstairs and waited on my tiny couch while I scrambled to come up with a list of things he could get. I hoped he wouldn’t see through the lie. I had written down several things I knew I absolutely did not need. The weather also wouldn’t be good enough to do anything for several more weeks. I knew that but hoped Alex didn’t.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said as he put the list into his pocket and stood. He wrapped his arms around me briefly and pressed a kiss to my lips. They tingled where his skin met mine.
“No need to hurry,” I tried to say casually. “Laundry days are never exciting.”
He gave only a smile before he turned and walked out.
A huge sigh of relief escaped my lips when he closed the door upstairs and I heard the garage door open. I had done it. He didn’t seem to suspect that anything was wrong, that anything had changed.
But everything had changed.
I knew that if Alex were to know the truth I had discovered this morning he would be incredibly upset I had not shared this information with him. He was far too supportive and was so eager to help me. He would have wanted to take some of the burden and help me find the answer. But I couldn’t let him do this. I wouldn’t let the angel’s get to him. I had to protect those that mattered most. Alex mattered more than anyone else to me.
I waited ten or so minutes before I made my way to my bedroom, just to be sure that Alex wouldn’t come back, forgetting something. It wasn’t going to be hard to fall asleep. I was already exhausted. I just hoped I wouldn’t sleep for hours again like I had been lately.
I knew it was a long shot and that this was likely to yield no answers but I didn’t know what else to do. I had to return to sleep and see if anything was different, if anything had changed. I had nothing to gauge by and no exact time frame. I may have discovered the feather under my window this morning but how long had it been lodge
d there? And I had found the one in Sal’s room two weeks ago now. I wasn’t sure what I was searching for but I had to do something. This was the only place I could think to start.
Mercifully, I was not branded at the end of this trial. Despite the strangely enhanced vision, I did not notice anything different. Everything seemed the same as they had all been the last few weeks. No indicator that anyone had escaped. Not that I would have really been able to tell. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of angels at the trials. But everything seemed the same.
The one difference, however, the enhanced, more raised parts of my wings grew while I was asleep. All the details that covered my shoulder blades had become more raised, more defined.
Alex returned that evening with the things I asked for, as well as a few groceries we were in need of and some exciting news. He had gotten a call from his best friend from when he was in southern California, saying he was in Washington for a few days. Alex said he was coming over for dinner later and that they would be going out all the next day. It seemed almost ridiculous how guilty Alex looked when he told me he would not be around the next day. I tried to reassure him that it was just fine if he went out.
Rod Gepper could have been Alex’s more energetic twin if it weren’t for the midnight dark color of his skin. He had Alex’s laid back personality, mixed with a nonstop sense of humor. We both sat at the bar and watched Alex as he prepared dinner. While Rod was not rude at all to exclude me from conversation, I did not have to provide much of it. The two of them spent much of the night recalling old high school memories and telling stories of all the trouble they got into and all the detentions and suspensions they narrowly avoided.
It was nice to see Alex so light-hearted again and enjoying himself so much but I wore out long before they seemed they were going to be done. I politely excused myself, nearly giving Alex a heart attack which he did not outwardly show but I did not miss it in his eyes. I tried to silently reassure him as best I could without saying anything that might draw questions from Rod.
I sat on my bed, absentmindedly strumming at my guitar for the rest of the night. When three o’clock rolled around I realized it had been silent for a good half hour. I wandered quietly up the stairs. I found the two of them passed out on the leather couches. I couldn’t help but smile as I pulled a blanket up around each of them. It was so nice to see Alex so relaxed again. This was the way things were supposed to be. He shouldn’t have to worry so much about the supernatural. About things that shouldn’t be real.