I felt Damien’s laughter vibrate against my lips before he kissed down my jawline to my neck where he placed feathered kisses over my skin.
“You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve dreamed of doin’ to you and you doin’ to me,” I purred, hoping to God I sounded sultry.
Damien scraped his teeth over my sweet spot, and it caused my back to arch, which pushed my breasts against him. His hands on my behind squeezed me tightly.
“Why don’t you tell me in detail what you dreamed of us doing,” he asked, his voice raspy.
“You’d used your mo-mouth on me,” I stammered. “And when I thought that would kill me, you’d add in your fingers.”
Damien lightly bit my neck, encouraging me to continue.
“Your tongue.” I squealed. “You’d taste me all over.”
I gasped when Damien suddenly turned and dislodged my arms and legs from around him as he pushed me from his body and onto the bed with a bounce. He rid himself of his shirt with one tug and watching that sent a shiver up my spine.
“You’re perfect,” I said, staring up at him.
His tanned skin seemed to glow in the lightening as strands of his hair fell forward into his eyes. He lifted a hand to push them away, and the flex of his bicep had my insides clenching with need. His broad shoulders were begging for my teeth to sink into them, and the lines of his abdominal muscles taunted my fingers to run over them.
You have no idea what you’re doing to me.
“That’d be you, baby,” he said as he gripped the hem of my dress and pushed it up to my waist.
Without a single word he gripped the top of my dress, pulled the straps down my shoulders and tugged the material down until my bare breasts were free. I didn’t wear a bra with my dress, I didn’t need to, and it seemed like Damien appreciated it if his groan was anything to go by. He left my dressed bunched up at my waist and leaned back on his heels so he could roam his eyes over me.
“You’re stunning, Lana.”
My body hummed with delight at his words and at his hands when he slid them up my thighs, skimmed my stomach, and flattened them over my breasts. He cupped them, giving them a gentle squeeze before he ran his thumbs over the sensitive pink tips. The tingling sensation drew a slight moan from me as heat pooled between my legs, an incessant throb growing with each tantalizing touch.
I felt my cheeks burn when his gaze locked on the centre of my thighs.
“Lace?” he questioned without looking at me.
“I like pretty un-underwear.”
“So do I.” Damien looked up at me with fire in his eyes.
“What are you goin’ to do to me?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
He licked his lips. “What I’ve wanted to do to you from the first moment I saw you.”
I blinked. “What’s that?”
I shrieked when he gripped the hem of my underwear and yanked them from my body. If the sound of fabric tearing was anything to go by, I’d say he even partially ripped them in the process. I could barely breathe when my thighs were parted and Damien brought his face down to my pussy.
He inhaled, and I knew mortification at that moment.
“Damien!” I cried and desperately tried to shut my legs. “Why are you sniffin’ me? Oh, God! Do you have a weird fetish or somethin’?”
He laughed but didn’t move a muscle other than when he stopped me from wriggling.
“No,” he mused. “I’m savouring how you smell because it’s damn good.”
If I ever spoke to him again after this, it would be too soon.
“This is indecent!” I stated, my entire face burning. “You can’t just—Damien!”
The flick of his hot wet tongue was unexpected and oh so delicious.
“Holy Mary Mother of God.” I exhaled.
“Pray to whoever you want, Freckles. No one can save you from me now.”
With that said, he began to lick and suck on my pussy lips then he used his tongue to part them. I felt myself go cross-eyed, and it was all I could do not to buck my hips in his face. His tongue slid up the trail of slick heat until he curled it around my clit and gifted me with a sensation I never knew existed.
I reached down with my hand, tangled my fingers in his hair, and held on for dear life.
He applied pressure as he swirled his tongue around the sensitive bud, and the action sucked the air out of me. It was too much sensation—too much of a new sensation—for my body to handle. I couldn’t lie still, so Damien hooked his arms around my thighs and applied heavy-handed pressure on them, which helped to keep me in place.
“Dame.” I panted as my breathing turned irregular.
His response was to rapidly shake his head from side to side, flicking his tongue over my clit as he moved, sending shocks of bliss shooting up my spine.
“Oh God,” I shouted at the new sensation it brought. “Oh God, oh God, oh God!”
I screamed for only a second before I sucked in air, holding it in my lungs as mounting pleasure suddenly caused my thighs to quiver with anticipation. For a second, I felt a sharp pain then numbness before a thrashing of what I could only describe as Heaven washed over me. The throbbing of delight exploded through me. My muscles contracted in response as if they were cheering on the sensation that curled around them.
I released the breath I was holding when my lungs demanded I do so. I didn’t even realise that I had closed my eyes, but I couldn’t open them if I wanted to, so it didn’t even matter. My limbs became lax as all traces of energy fled, and it was all I could do not to fall to sleep.
“You’re so beautiful, Freckles,” Damien’s voice rasped as he parted my thighs farther apart. “I’m sorry if this hurts.”
That was the only warning he gave me before my insides screamed as they were stretched and invaded. My eyes flew open, and a strangled whimper passed my lips. My hands latched onto Damien’s thick arms as he stilled inside me, and my back arched as a pinch of pain cut through my core.
“It’ll pass,” Damien whispered, his voice hoarse.
He lowered his head and kissed me with so much tenderness and care it was easy to focus on his lips instead of the pain. He whispered words of encouragement against my swollen lips, and brushed the tip of his nose my cheek before he rested his forehead on mine and stared deeply into my eyes.
We were one in that moment.
Before long, I wriggled my hips, pulling a pained groan from Damien who was trying his hardest to remain as still as a statue. I wriggled once more and only felt a slight bit of discomfort, but to my surprise, the stinging pain had subsided completely. The second I hummed, Damien took it as a green light to move. When he withdrew slowly and thrust back in, my muscles tightened.
It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t exactly feel good either.
“Relax, baby,” he rasped. “You’re squeezing me like a vice.”
“You relax!” I countered. “It feels like a melon is bein’ shoved up me.”
Damien had the nerve to chuckle, and it held my attention, but when he withdrew and thrust back into my body, I allowed my head to fall back against the bed as I moaned. He fell into a rhythm, and it took away my ability to think coherently, let alone speak.
“Christ,” Damien breathed as he lowered his head and planted kisses along my neck. “You feel incredible.”
I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his hips, hooking my ankles over the other to lock them in place. I couldn’t control how vocal I was, especially when every thrust sent a ripple of shivers over my body and made me hunger for more.
“Oh!” I gasped when a lick of pleasure curled around my inner muscles.
“Yeah,” Damien rasped. “Oh!”
“Keep doin’ that,” I panted. “Oh, keep doin’ that!”
“I couldn’t stop if you paid me,” Damien replied, sweat beading on his forehead.
Fast and hard poundings replaced the slow and gentle thrusts. I dug my fingers into Damien’s flesh when the desire to bite something struc
k. I tried to hold back, but I couldn’t. Like an animal I leaned forward, and latched my teeth onto his neck and bit down. Damien thrust into me so hard in response a resounding slap echoed the room.
“You’re going to ruin me for any other woman.”
I damn well hoped so.
“God, I could keep you forever,” he proceeded to say, his voice thick with passion.
I released him, and pressed my forehead to his as I swallowed. “Will you keep me?”
“Yes,” he panted, nudging my face with his. “God, yes. You’re mine.”
My heart thumped with delight, and a huge smile overtook my face. It was quickly wiped away when scorching heat spread over my body like butter, causing goose bumps to break out on my skin. My mouth suddenly opened in a silent scream when a rumble started in my core and kept building until an explosion of light burst from within me. The pleasure that began to ripple through my body sent small spasms rolling through my limbs and left me trembling.
When I came to, I was repeating Damien’s name.
“Yes, yes,” he panted as my inner walls clenched around him.
“You promise to keep me?” I asked as he pumped into me harder, faster, deeper.
“Yes,” he almost shouted. “I promise. Lana!”
His movements became frantic then, and just as his thrusts slowed and turned to twitches, I watched the sensations he experienced as they took over his body and played out like a film on his handsome face.
His eyes closed, he bit down on his lower lip, his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, his brows furrowed, and his muscles tensed. Ten or so seconds later, it was like every ounce of tension that had worked its way onto his face melted away and spread over his body like a deep tissue massage.
It was the only warning I got before he fell forward.
“Damien!” I laughed as the air was knocked out of me.
All of his weight was on me, and while I loved it, it was too much for my chest to handle. I nudged him, and he groaned as he used his elbows to prop himself up, taking most of his weight off me.
“Hi.” I smiled up at him.
My mind, body, and heart were so content and blissful that nothing could have ruined the moment.
“I didn’t mean to say that,” Damien said, his eyes flashing with… terror.
Except that.
I blinked. “Say what?”
“That stuff,” he said, clearing his throat. “About keeping you.”
A feeling of sickness began to form in the pit of my stomach.
“Damien,” I whispered. “Can you not say that while you’re still inside me?”
He looked down at our still connected bodies and quickly pulled out of me. I winced, and he apologised. I was lying on the bed sheets, so I had nothing to cover myself with except my hands. Damien disposed of the now used condom—a condom I didn’t even know he had put on—and began to dress at a shocking speed. I began to panic and felt like I should do the same, so I joined him in fixing my dress until we were dressed and looking as we did when we entered the room—just a little less put together.
“I don’t understand what is happenin’,” I said as I slid my feet back into my shoes, my feet screaming in protest.
“I shouldn’t have said that shit.”
Striking me would have hurt less.
I flinched. “Don’t say that.”
“I have to; otherwise, you’ll believe it.”
“So I’m not to believe that you said you’d keep me?” I demanded. “That you promised to? What the hell did you say it for then?”
“Alannah, I’d have agreed to a sex change operation at that point of sex,” he said flatly. “I couldn’t help it. My mind and body were both focused on the sensation, and my voice took on a role of its own.”
I felt like I was going to throw up.
“You’re ruinin’ this!” I said, my lower lip wobbling. “You’re ruinin’ everythin’ about me first time. Why are you doin’ this to me?”
Damien’s face blanched. “I’m sorry, but I won’t lie to you.”
“What’s the lie?”
“When I promised to keep you,” he stated.
I felt my eyes well with tears.
“Damien,” I whispered.
“It’s not that I can’t keep you, Lana; it’s that I don’t want to.”
He couldn’t look me in the eyes as he spoke the words that I knew I’d never forget. The force of it had me stumbling back a few steps as if he’d struck me. I probably had no right to feel betrayed, but I did, and it hurt more than I cared to admit.
“I’m goin’ to get cl-cleaned up,” I stammered.
“No.” Damien frowned. “Please, we have to talk about this. What I mean is—”
“I don’t think anythin’ you have to say would make me feel better,” I cut him off, trying my hardest to keep my emotions in check.
“Alannah—”
“It’s fine,” I cut him off again.
“It’s fucking not,” he countered. “I knew this was a bad idea. Just look at how upset you are! This is why I’ve tried to stay away from you. You’re a good girl, and I knew you’d let your emotions take centre stage. This was a mistake!”
His words were the honest truth, and I think that was why they pained me so much.
“You were right. This was a mistake, but I’ve made it.” I swallowed. “And I’ll learn from it, too.”
Damien reached for me, but I moved farther away from him and headed towards the connecting room that I assumed was a bathroom.
“I don’t want to speak to you anymore, Damien,” I said as I opened the door.
I never wanted to speak to him again.
“Lana,” was all he said.
“Alannah,” I said, my hold on the door handle tightening. “Me name is Alannah.”
I entered the bathroom, closed the door behind me, and locked it. Aimlessly, I relieved myself and cleaned up as best as I could with small pieces of tissue paper. Instead of leaving the bathroom, I leaned my back against the wall and slid down it until my behind hit the floor.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, but it was long enough for the tears that flowed from my eyes and splashed onto my cheeks to dry. Between my thighs felt strange—like a sweet tenderness that I couldn’t shake. I thought I heard raised voices, and when I heard a knock on the door, I flinched.
“Lana?” I heard my name being softly spoken. “It’s me; can I come in?”
Bronagh.
I stood up, moved over to the door, unlocked it, and then sat on the closed lid of the toilet. Bronagh entered the bathroom and quickly locked it behind her. She kicked off her heels, bent down to her knees, and then reached forward and engulfed me into a tight hug. When I put my arms around her, I released a pain laced cry.
At that moment, I was both hurt and mortified. I realised I had thrown myself at Damien like I had no shame, and now, shame was all that filled me. I couldn’t begin to form the words to tell Bronagh how forward I behaved out of fear that she would judge me, so I kept my mouth shut.
“It’s goin’ to be okay, Lana. You’re strong and won’t let an annoyin’ American prick get you down, right?”
I managed a snort as I pulled back from our hug. I grabbed some tissue to wipe up the snot running from my nose. I was a mess, and I knew I looked as bad as I felt.
“You know somethin’?” I sniffled. “I know Nico is your fella, but I thought he was the prick and Damien was the nice one. I was so wrong. Nico is honest and has always been ‘imself whether you like ‘im or hate ‘im. Damien, though... He is like a snake in human form. I hate ‘im.”
I couldn’t fault Damien for being upfront before we had sex, but the lies he spewed during it and the bullshit excuse he had for saying them angered me.
“If it makes you feel better,” Bronagh interjected, “Dominic really is a prick.”
I started laughing through my tears. I frowned when Bronagh sat down on her behind and winced at the contact. It was a r
eminder that she was no longer a virgin either, but her first time had been magical, while mine had the magic sucked from me ten seconds after ending.
“I just realised we both lost our virginity tonight to the twins.”
“Well... at least we can be sore and hate ‘em together.”
I was still upset—that didn’t even begin to cover it—but I laughed at Bronagh’s joke, and the carefree sound helped a tiny bit. Even with my friend by my side and laughter coming from me, I couldn’t help but feel like a layer of stone had just sealed itself over my heart. I would never willingly put myself in a situation where I would feel pain like this again.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
I called Bronagh’s name when the silence that surrounded us was snatched away, and a loud thumping noise could be heard from outside. I didn’t know how I knew, but I knew Damien had left the room with the door open and fled down the corridor and back into the club. Getting as far away from me as he possibly could.
The fucking coward.
Bronagh looked at me when I spoke.
“Yeah?”
“Are you ready to go back outside?” I quizzed. “I can hear ‘RAMPAGE’ bein’ cheered now that they’ve stopped the music for the fight.”
Things were a blur of activity as Bronagh jumped to her feet, put her heels back on, and pulled me out of the room and back down the corridor to the club. Bodies of all shapes and sizes crowded around the platform that Dominic and another fighter were on. I couldn’t concentrate with the noise and a sea of people, so when Bronagh broke through the crowd to reach Dominic after he won the fight, I stayed long enough to hug when she returned to my side. The second she become solely focused on Dominic, I slipped away from her and headed out of the club.
When I got outside, no one was around, not even the bouncers who had granted us entrance to the club hours before. I was glad to have a moment’s solitude so I could try to wrap my head around what happened. I sat on the curb and fought off a fresh batch of tears.
This is a disaster.