At the moment, he had several other things to focus on. Namely, Lori’s hand on his hardening erection, her other hand stroking his scalp, her breasts brushing lusciously against his chest, and her lips tugging at his earlobe.
So the burst of shuddering feeling was all but swallowed up by the urgent need deepening in his body.
He couldn’t count the times he’d made love to Lori in the three years he’d known her, but he still couldn’t get enough.
Couldn’t get close to enough.
He pushed up her skirt with one hand and fisted his other in the armrest as she massaged him skillfully.
Pulling back slightly, she gazed at his face with heavy-lidded eyes. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah,” he answered, trying not to push his pelvis up into her hand when she stopped massaging him. “I guess the only explanation for my other thing of wonder is that you’re irresistible and that I’m exceptionally horny today.”
She laughed, her hair spilling down around her face and shoulders. “You must be pretty far gone, if you’re reduced to using such an objectionable word.”
She started to massage him again with a skillful hand. She knew what she was doing, knew how to please him the most.
Ander felt—couldn’t help but feel—an uncivilized rush of satisfaction at the knowledge that he was the only man she’d ever been with.
That he was the only one allowed to touch her.
“Very far gone.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss just to the right of her mouth.
“Good.” She slid her fingertips delicately across the tight skin of his scalp. Ander shivered in response, the compulsion of his cock growing stronger—even from such an elusive touch. “I like you far gone.”
He moved his hand from her ass to tangle into her silky hair, curving his fingers around the base of her skull. Leaning forward again, he kissed her full on the mouth, letting his tongue caress the line where her lips met.
His body pressed up toward Lori's as she clung to him with her lips, her arms, her legs. She was straddling him fully now, her skirt hiked up around her hips, and her mouth opened easily to the intrusion of his tongue. She moaned deep in her throat, rubbing her groin against his.
Both the textured sound and the feel of her grinding sent of jolt of desire through him, so intensely that his hips jerked up.
The motion must have jarred her because her mouth broke away. She turned her head to the side, breathing unevenly and digging her fingers into his shoulders.
His hands were moving of their own accord, sliding under the edge of her little cashmere sweater and then pulling it off over her heard.
She raised her arms to let him remove the sweater and then arched back, pressing her chest toward him in an instinctive gesture.
He swallowed over a gravelly hum, merely at the sight of her. Then his hands moved up automatically. Cupped and squeezed the soft weight of her breasts. Thumbed the erect nipples.
Lori’s head dropped backwards, and she pressed into his touch, still clinging to his shoulders for support.
Ander couldn’t stop himself. He bucked up again—nothing forceful or awkward, just a tight little thrust that demanded indulgence.
This time Lori groaned in response, the noise low, long, and lingering. The sight and sound of her was intensely erotic, and the fact that this was real, that this was intimate, made it all the more compelling.
Ander couldn’t wait anymore. He slipped his hand into her panties to see if she was ready.
She was soft and hot and very wet.
When he pulled his hand back, she pushed down his trousers, and he lifted his hips to get them out of their way.
He was still rearranging his position when Lori fully freed his cock. Her fingers brushed along the hard flesh, making his breath hitch. Then he helped Lori position herself over him. He held his cock in place at her entrance, moving aside her panties until she lowered herself on top of him.
His body tensed up at the hot, close sheathe of her around his cock. He dug his fingers into the flesh of her thighs.
As she settled over his erection, she started shaking a little, breathing quickly and just barely squirming.
“Are you sure no one can see us?” she asked, looking over his shoulder through the back windshield.
Ander’s pelvis kept twitching up involuntarily, every instinct in his body screaming at him to thrust. “No one can see. It’s just us.”
“Okay.” She met his eyes again. “Just us.”
The next time he pushed up into her weight, she lowered her mouth to his ear and murmured, “No. Let me.”
Ander’s head fell back against the seat. He forced himself to stay still as Lori moved over him. She began to rock—rhythmically, but not forcefully—and her motion generated lush, tight friction as his cock slid inside her.
He moaned, unable to stifle the uncontrolled sound. His base drive urged him to thrust, to intensify the friction, to claim her, to bring them both to a fast rush of climax.
But he didn’t. He tried to relax his arms and legs and let the erotic pleasure build from the cadence of Lori’s motion. He kept his eyes open though, so he could watch her.
His climax was growing powerfully, steadily, and it was taking more control than he was used to exerting to continue to hold himself back.
But he did. He let the sensations flood him. Saturate him. Swell up from a motion that wasn’t his. Let this happen to him. Let Lori take him as she wanted.
A freeing experience or a frustrating one—Ander wasn’t sure which it was most. Either way, the pleasure was almost agonizing, since he didn’t feel in control of it. As her motion accelerated, as her body began to bounce above him, her broken grunts getting faster, he felt more and more out of control.
His cock was throbbing unbearably now, and a roaring had heightened in his ears. His eyes kept falling closed as sensations shot out from his groin, but he forced them open, not wanting to miss any flicker of expression on her face.
Despite her bra, her breasts jiggled as she rode him, their motion summoning something primal in him, calling up a force both needy and demanding.
When her fingernails jabbed into the skin at the back of his neck, the sudden pain caused him to buck up sharply. He’d been gripping Lori’s ass with both hands, but at the shocking jolt of sensation one of his arms flew up of its own accord. Bent above his head in an awkward move that he couldn’t seem to help.
Lori choked on a cry of response at his thrust, and she rode him more wildly.
Ander felt like his entire body was throbbing, like the whole world was throbbing too. But he forced his hips to stay as still as possible, only relenting enough to make occasional pushes up when he could no longer contain the deepening urgency.
His arm was still bent above him, his forearm resting on his head. He didn’t like the position of it, but he couldn’t seem to find the coordination to move it.
Then Lori jerked forward, bending her neck down. And her mouth closed around the side of his forearm, biting down though the fabric of his shirt.
Ander grunted harshly, the sudden pressure on his arm both surprising him and nearly driving him mad. Lori was leaning against him now—her body, her frantic motion, her obvious need all threatening to swallow him up.
The fall of her hair was surrounding him, the soft strands shaking against his skin in the most unexpected of ways. And her chest was right in front of his eyes.
For a moment, it felt like she was suffocating him. Like Ander would never be able to escape, like he would drown in her.
Then she was coming. Her intimate muscles clenching around him, her entire body swept with tremors, her teeth clamping down on his arm so hard that he couldn’t hold back a roar.
He let go of everything. No control left. His body jerked in a way that would have been embarrassing if he’d been able to process such a response. He couldn’t.
Nothing existed but Lori above him and the powerful waves of pleasure that consumed him.
/>
When the pressure finally erupted, Ander froze for an instant, his vision whiting out for the unbearable moment right before he came.
Then he came, feeling his climax pulse through his cock until all the tension was finally released.
By the time he came to his senses again, Lori had relaxed against him, her mouth having fallen away from where she’d been biting him.
Ander lowered his arm, his shoulder sore from the extended, upraised position. The spot she’d bitten was aching, and he knew he’d have a bruise there.
For some reason, he liked that idea. Liked her to claim him as much as he wanted to claim her.
“Okay?” he asked faintly, his voice not yet returned to normal. Every muscle in his body felt limp, and he barely had enough energy to push Lori’s hair out of his face.
“Yeah. Except I’m going to feel like taking a nap now instead of sitting in another conference session.”
“Better get yourself some coffee.”
She muffled a snort. “Yeah. You too.” She leaned forward to kiss him, her lips clinging and tender. Then she groaned as she pulled off him at last. “And I thought I was sore yesterday.”
“Are you all right?” He felt a pang of concern as he saw her wince as she tried to adjust herself.
“Yeah. Doing fine. Believe it or not, this kind of soreness is not the worst thing ever. I remember some of those nights with you at the beginning, when we went most of the night. The soreness now is nothing compared to that.”
He raised his eyebrows as he fastened his pants. “Isn’t it? I’ll have to remedy the matter, then.”
“Not now, you won’t,” she said with a laugh. “Your excessive horniness will have to wait until later.”
He smiled, pleased that he’d distracted both of them from what was still looming at the edges of his mind. The shuddering knowledge he’d been ignoring was still heavy in his gut, tight in his chest, but he was doing a good job in keeping it at bay. “I’ll take that as a promise.”
Four
He was back in the library working when Lori called him again.
He’d managed to drown out everything else as he focused on writing and research for several hours, so he blinked in surprise when he glanced down at his phone and realized it was already after six.
“Hey,” she said when he picked up. “Do you want to do something for dinner? I’m not really in the mood for this banquet.”
“I better not. I’m getting some good work done.”
He heard her sigh, but she didn’t complain—which was a relief. “All right. I guess I’ll go to the boring banquet.”
“Everything else okay?”
“Yeah. I’d just rather be with you.”
He couldn’t help but smile, oddly touched by her grumbled words. “Me too.”
“You say that, but when I give you a chance to be with me, you say you need to work.”
“I really do need to work. I’ll be back this evening. There’s still my excessive horniness to address.”
To his surprise, she didn’t laugh. “I wasn’t really talking about sex tonight. I just want to be with you.”
He had no idea what to say to that and felt rather awkward—too much emotion leaving him briefly paralyzed.
“Ander?”
“Yeah,” he managed to say. “I want to be with you too.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
He blinked, having thought the conversation was ending and not expecting the blunt question. “What?”
“If you want to be with me, then why aren’t you?”
“I told you—”
“I know what you told me, but I just can’t believe that work is so urgent. You have months until your dissertation is due. You’ve been in Greece for six weeks, and you haven’t even given yourself a day to recover. If you don’t want to spend time with me, I’d rather you just say it.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Nothing.” She sounded subdued. A little sad. “You seem like you’re…”
“Like I’m what?” Ander’s back stiffened slightly as he grew immediately defensive.
“I don’t know. Like you’re avoiding me.”
“That’s ridiculous. We had sex two nights ago. We had sex yesterday morning. We had lunch today and then had sex again. How exactly am I avoiding you?” His voice was sharper than it should have been because he knew—he knew—she was right.
“I don’t know how to explain it, but I know you. And I feel it. Something is wrong, and you won’t tell me. It just seems like you’re distant somehow.”
“I’m not distant. I’m working. I’m not sure what you expect of me, but I can hardly drop everything because you need attention.”
He knew how she would respond to his words and snide tone. He knew, and that was why he said them.
She was so angry now she was almost sputtering. “Have I once said I wanted attention? I want to know what’s going on with you, and you keep pretending it’s nothing.”
“How many times do I have to say it? There is nothing going on.”
She was silent for a long time, and Ander recognized she was reining in her anger enough to converse maturely.
Then she finally said, “You can’t really think I’m going to be okay with this.”
“I would think that you would trust me enough to accept what I tell you.”
“I’d trust you if you didn’t keep shutting me out and then lying to me about it. If something has happened, if something has…has changed, then I need to know about it.”
He took a ragged breath, torn between frustration and a painful bubble of something close to grief. The shuddering swell grew in his chest until it almost cracked his ribs. “Lori,” he began, having absolutely no idea what to say.
“I’ve got to go,” she interrupted, sounding tired, irritated, and hurt. “The banquet is starting soon. I’ll talk to you later.”
Then she hung up, before Ander could say anything to make it better. Before he could fix what he’d stupidly messed up.
He had lied to her. She had every reason to be angry with him.
He sat at the desk in the office he shared with another PhD student and breathed heavily, trying to think clearly, trying to figure out a way to be with Lori for real and still manage to hold himself together.
There had to be a way to accomplish it. She deserved everything from him, all of the love and strength and affection he could give her.
But all he had in his chest was the shuddering ache that wouldn’t go away.
He sat for a few more minutes until he had his breathing under control. Then he put his laptop away and repacked his case.
Lori’s conference hotel wasn’t far from the university. It wouldn’t take him long to get over there.
He would do something to make this better.
He arrived at the hotel less than twenty minutes later, and it wasn’t difficult to find out the location of the banquet.
He didn’t have much of a plan. There wouldn’t be a seat for him, so he wasn’t likely to be able to join her for the banquet, but at least she would see he’d made an effort.
Hopefully, she wouldn’t be annoyed.
Before he even made it to the ballroom, he saw her standing in a wide hallway. Looking gorgeous and sensual in her fitted skirt, clingy sweater, and high heels. She usually dressed casually, but she always made an effort for events like this. She’d told him once that she didn’t want people to be disappointed when they saw an author they loved or even hated was just “plain old” her.
The idea of her ever being plain was laughable to Ander.
At the moment, she looked utterly scrumptious.
And she was smiling and talking to another man.
The man wore jeans and a corduroy blazer. He had thick dark hair and needed a shave.
He was Phil Rothe. Lawyer turned bestselling novelist.
Whom Lori had dated not so long ago. Whom she’d stopped seeing Ander for, back when she wa
s his client.
Whom he’d seen her kissing in a devastating memory he still couldn’t shake from his mind.
But she didn’t like Rothe. He’d treated her like garbage and had been an ass in every way.
There was no reason for her to be smiling up at him like that now—as if she were genuinely happy to see him.
And there was even less reason for Rothe to be gazing down at her as if she were something good to eat.
An unexpected rush of possessiveness washed over Ander. Rothe might have taken her away from him once, but that was in an entirely different situation.
Lori was his fiancée. Rothe couldn’t have her.
Without thinking through the wisdom of his actions, he strode over to where they stood.
They both obviously should be in the banquet by now. It had already started, if the speaker’s voice coming from the adjacent room was any indication.
Rothe turned his head first, his eyes widening at whatever he saw in Ander’s expression. Then Lori turned too.
If he was reading her face accurately, her first reaction was happiness to see him, but it was quickly replaced by confusion and a slight defensiveness.
“What are you doing here?” she asked when he’d reached them. She glanced back at Rothe. “This is Ander, my fiancé. And this is Phil Rothe. He writes all those lawyer books.”
“I know who he is.” Ander was still smoldering with possessiveness, and there was an edge of it in his tone.
Lori narrowed her eyes, searching his face.
Rothe took his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m sure I’ve seen you before somewhere.”
They’d seen each other before. That night at the museum fundraiser, when Ander had been with a client and Lori had been with Rothe.
“Maybe.”
“I’m sure I have. It’s the…” Rothe trailed off, but it was obvious what he was going to say.
It was Ander’s bald head. Distinct. Unmistakable. Branding him like the mark of Cain or a visible scar.
“What are you doing here?” Lori asked, stepping into the silence. “I thought you had to work.”