Somewhere in northern Canada. I cant tell you which province. He doesnt pay much attention to state lines.
Any hint that he might . . .
Hes not coming home, Bella. Sorry.
I swallowed. Sokay, Seth. I knew before I asked. I just cant help wishing.
Yeah. We all feel the same way.
Thanks for putting up with me, Seth. I know the others must give you a hard time.
Theyre not your hugest fans, he agreed cheerfully. Kind of lame, I think. Jacob made his choices, you made yours. Jake doesnt like their attitude about it. Course, he isnt super thrilled that youre checking up on him, either.
I gasped. I thought he wasnt talking to you?
He cant hide everything from us, hard as hes trying.
So Jacob knew I was worried. I wasnt sure how I felt about that. Well, at least he knew I hadnt skipped off into the sunset and forgotten him completely. He might have imagined me capable of that.
I guess Ill see you at the wedding, I said, forcing the word out through my teeth.
Yeah, me and my mom will be there. It was cool of you to ask us.
I smiled at the enthusiasm in his voice. Though inviting the Clearwaters had been Edwards idea, I was glad hed thought of it. Having Seth there would be nicea link, however tenuous, to my missing best man. It wouldnt be the same without you.
Tell Edward I said hi, kay?
Sure thing.
I shook my head. The friendship that had sprung up between Edward and Seth was something that still boggled my mind. It was proof, though, that things didnt have to be this way. That vampires and werewolves could get along just fine, thank you very much, if they were of a mind to.
Not everybody liked this idea.
Ah, Seth said, his voice cracking up an octave. Er, Leahs home.
Oh! Bye!
The phone went dead. I left it on the seat and prepared myself mentally to go inside the house, where Charlie would be waiting.
My poor dad had so much to deal with right now. Jacob-the-runaway was just one of the straws on his overburdened back. He was almost as worried about me, his barely-a-legal-adult daughter who was about to become a Mrs. in just a few days time.
I walked slowly through the light rain, remembering the night wed told him. . . .
As the sound of Charlies cruiser announced his return, the ring suddenly weighed a hundred pounds on my finger. I wanted to shove my left hand in a pocket, or maybe sit on it, but Edwards cool, firm grasp kept it front and center.
Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that youre not confessing to a murder here.
Easy for you to say.
I listened to the ominous sound of my fathers boots clomping up the sidewalk. The key rattled in the already open door. The sound reminded me of that part of the horror movie when the victim realizes shes forgotten to lock her deadbolt.
Calm down, Bella, Edward whispered, listening to the acceleration of my heart.
The door slammed against the wall, and I flinched like Id been Tasered.
Hey, Charlie, Edward called, entirely relaxed.
No! I protested under my breath.
What? Edward whispered back.
Wait till he hangs his gun up!
Edward chuckled and ran his free hand through his tousled bronze hair.
Charlie came around the corner, still in his uniform, still armed, and tried not to make a face when he spied us sitting together on the loveseat. Lately, hed been putting forth a lot of effort to like Edward more. Of course, this revelation was sure to end that effort immediately.
Hey, kids. Whats up?
Wed like to talk to you, Edward said, so serene. We have some good news.
Charlies expression went from strained friendliness to black suspicion in a second.
Good news? Charlie growled, looking straight at me.
Have a seat, Dad.
He raised one eyebrow, stared at me for five seconds, then stomped to the recliner and sat down on the very edge, his back ramrod straight.
Dont get worked up, Dad, I said after a moment of loaded silence. Everythings okay.
Edward grimaced, and I knew it was in objection to the word okay. He probably would have used something more like wonderful or perfect or glorious.
Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?
Im not sweating, I lied.
I leaned away from his fierce scowl, cringing into Edward, and instinctively wiped the back of my right hand across my forehead to remove the evidence.
Youre pregnant! Charlie exploded. Youre pregnant, arent you?
Though the question was clearly meant for me, he was glaring at Edward now, and I could have sworn I saw his hand twitch toward the gun.
No! Of course Im not! I wanted to elbow Edward in the ribs, but I knew that move would only give me a bruise. Id told Edward that people would immediately jump to this conclusion! What other possible reason would sane people have for getting married at eighteen? (His answer then had made me roll my eyes. Love. Right.)
Charlies glower lightened a shade. It was usually pretty clear on my face when I was telling the truth, and he believed me now. Oh. Sorry.
Apology accepted.
There was a long pause. After a moment, I realized everyone was waiting for me to say something. I looked up at Edward, panic-stricken. There was no way I was going to get the words out.
He smiled at me and then squared his shoulders and turned to my father.
Charlie, I realize that Ive gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I dont want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, Im asking you for your blessing. Were getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, andby some miracleshe loves me that way, too. Will you give us your blessing?
He sounded so sure, so calm. For just an instant, listening to the absolute confidence in his voice, I experienced a rare moment of insight. I could see, fleetingly, the way the world looked to him. For the length of one heartbeat, this news made perfect sense.
And then I caught sight of the expression on Charlies face, his eyes now locked on the ring.
I held my breath while his skin changed colorsfair to red, red to purple, purple to blue. I started to get upIm not sure what I planned to do; maybe use the Heimlich maneuver to make sure he wasnt chokingbut Edward squeezed my hand and murmured Give him a minute so low that only I could hear.
The silence was much longer this time. Then, gradually, shade by shade, Charlies color returned to normal. His lips pursed, and his eyebrows furrowed; I recognized his deep in thought expression. He studied the two of us for a long moment, and I felt Edward relax at my side.
Guess Im not that surprised, Charlie grumbled. Knew Id have to deal with something like this soon enough.
I exhaled.
You sure about this? Charlie demanded, glaring at me.
Im one hundred percent sure about Edward, I told him without missing a beat.
Getting married, though? Whats the rush? He eyed me suspiciously again.
The rush was due to the fact that I was getting closer to nineteen every stinking day, while Edward stayed frozen in all his seventeen-year-old perfection, as he had for over ninety years. Not that this fact necessitated marriage in my book, but the wedding was required due to the delicate and tangled compromise Edward and I had made to finally get to this point, the brink of my transformation from mortal to immortal.
These werent things I could explain to Charlie.
Were going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie, Edward reminded him. Id like to do that, well, the right way. Its how I was raised. He shrugged.
He wasnt exaggerating; theyd been big on old-fashioned morals during World War I.
Charlies mouth twisted to the side. Looking for an angle to argue from. But what could he say? Id prefer you li
ve in sin first? He was a dad; his hands were tied.
Knew this was coming, he muttered to himself, frowning. Then, suddenly, his face went perfectly smooth and blank.
Dad? I asked anxiously. I glanced at Edward, but I couldnt read his face, either, as he watched Charlie.
Ha! Charlie exploded. I jumped in my seat. Ha, ha, ha!
I stared incredulously as Charlie doubled over in laughter; his whole body shook with it.
I looked at Edward for a translation, but Edward had his lips pressed tightly together, like he was trying to hold back laughter himself.
Okay, fine, Charlie choked out. Get married. Another roll of laughter shook through him. But . . .
But what? I demanded.
But you have to tell your mom! Im not saying one word to Rene! Thats all yours! He busted into loud guffaws.
I paused with my hand on the doorknob, smiling. Sure, at the time, Charlies words had terrified me. The ultimate doom: telling Rene. Early marriage was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies.
Who could have foreseen her response? Not me. Certainly not Charlie. Maybe Alice, but I hadnt thought to ask her.
Well, Bella, Rene had said after Id choked and stuttered out the impossible words: Mom, Im marrying Edward. Im a little miffed that you waited so long to tell me. Plane tickets only get more expensive. Oooh, shed fretted. Do you think Phils cast will be off by then? It will spoil the pictures if hes not in a tux
Back up a second, Mom. Id gasped. What do you mean, waited so long? I just got en-en . . .Id been unable to force out the word engagedthings settled, you know, today.
Today? Really? That is a surprise. I assumed . . .
What did you assume? When did you assume?
Well, when you came to visit me in April, it looked like things were pretty much sewn up, if you know what I mean. Youre not very hard to read, sweetie. But I didnt say anything because I knew it wouldnt do any good. Youre exactly like Charlie. Shed sighed, resigned. Once you make up your mind, there is no reasoning with you. Of course, exactly like Charlie, you stick by your decisions, too.
And then shed said the last thing that Id ever expected to hear from my mother.
Youre not making my mistakes, Bella. You sound like youre scared silly, and Im guessing its because youre afraid of me. Shed giggled. Of what Im going to think. And I know Ive said a lot of things about marriage and stupidityand Im not taking them backbut you need to realize that those things specifically applied to me. Youre a completely different person than I am. You make your own kinds of mistakes, and Im sure youll have your share of regrets in life. But commitment was never your problem, sweetie. You have a better chance of making this work than most forty-year-olds I know. Rene had laughed again. My little middle-aged child. Luckily, you seem to have found another old soul.
Youre not mad? You dont think Im making a humongous mistake?
Well, sure, I wish youd wait a few more years. I mean, do I look old enough to be a mother-in-law to you? Dont answer that. But this isnt about me. This is about you. Are you happy?
I dont know. Im having an out-of-body experience right now.
Rene had chuckled. Does he make you happy, Bella?
Yes, but
Are you ever going to want anyone else?
No, but
But what?
But arent you going to say that I sound exactly like every other infatuated teenager since the dawn of time?
Youve never been a teenager, sweetie. You know whats best for you.
For the last few weeks, Rene had unexpectedly immersed herself in wedding plans. Shed spent hours every day on the phone with Edwards mother, Esmeno worries about the in-laws getting along. Rene adored Esme, but then, I doubted anyone could help responding that way to my lovable almost-mother-in-law.
It let me right off the hook. Edwards family and my family were taking care of the nuptials together without my having to do or know or think too hard about any of it.
Charlie was furious, of course, but the sweet part was that he wasnt furious at me. Rene was the traitor. Hed counted on her to play the heavy. What could he do now, when his ultimate threattelling Momhad turned out to be utterly empty? He had nothing, and he knew it. So he moped around the house, muttering things about not being able to trust anyone in this world. . . .
Dad? I called as I pushed open the front door. Im home.
Hold on, Bells, stay right there.
Huh? I asked, pausing automatically.
Gimme a second. Ouch, you got me, Alice.
Alice?
Sorry, Charlie, Alices trilling voice responded. Hows that?
Im bleeding on it.
Youre fine. Didnt break the skintrust me.
Whats going on? I demanded, hesitating in the doorway.
Thirty seconds, please, Bella, Alice told me. Your patience will be rewarded.
Humph, Charlie added.
I tapped my foot, counting each beat. Before I got to thirty, Alice said, Okay, Bella, come in!
Moving with caution, I rounded the little corner into our living room.
Oh, I huffed. Aw. Dad. Dont you look
Silly? Charlie interrupted.
I was thinking more like debonair.
Charlie blushed. Alice took his elbow and tugged him around into a slow spin to showcase the pale gray tux.
Now cut that out, Alice. I look like an idiot.
No one dressed by me ever looks like an idiot.
Shes right, Dad. You look fabulous! Whats the occasion?
Alice rolled her eyes. Its the final check on the fit. For both of you.
I peeled my gaze off the unusually elegant Charlie for the first time and saw the dreaded white garment bag laid carefully across the sofa.
Aaah.
Go to your happy place, Bella. It wont take long.
I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes. Keeping them shut, I stumbled my way up the stairs to my room. I stripped down to my underwear and held my arms straight out.
Youd think I was shoving bamboo splinters under your nails, Alice muttered to herself as she followed me in.
I paid no attention to her. I was in my happy place.
In my happy place, the whole wedding mess was over and done. Behind me. Already repressed and forgotten.
We were alone, just Edward and me. The setting was fuzzy and constantly in fluxit morphed from misty forest to cloud-covered city to arctic nightbecause Edward was keeping the location of our honeymoon a secret to surprise me. But I wasnt especially concerned about the where part.
Edward and I were together, and Id fulfilled my side of our compromise perfectly. Id married him. That was the big one. But Id also accepted all his outrageous gifts and was registered, however futilely, to attend Dartmouth College in the fall. Now it was his turn.
Before he turned me into a vampirehis big compromisehe had one other stipulation to make good on.
Edward had an obsessive sort of concern over the human things that I would be giving up, the experiences he didnt want me to miss. Most of themlike the prom, for exampleseemed silly to me. There was only one human experience I worried about missing. Of course it would be the one he wished I would forget completely.
Here was the thing, though. I knew a little about what I was going to be like when I wasnt human anymore. Id seen newborn vampires firsthand, and Id heard all my family-to-bes stories about those wild early days. For several years, my biggest personality trait was going to be thirsty. It would take some time before I could be me again. And even when I was in control of myself, I would never feel exactly the way I felt now.
Human and passionately in love.
I wanted the complete experience before I traded in my warm, breakable, pheromone-riddled body for something beautiful, strong and unknown. I wanted a real honeymoon with Edward. And, despite the danger he feared this would put me in, hed agreed to try.
I was only vaguely aware of Alice and the slip and slide of satin over my skin. I didnt care, for the mo
ment, that the whole town was talking about me. I didnt think about the spectacle I would have to star in much too soon. I didnt worry about tripping on my train or giggling at the wrong moment or being too young or the staring audience or even the empty seat where my best friend should be.
I was with Edward in my happy place.
2. LONG NIGHT
I miss you already.
I dont need to leave. I can stay. . . .
Mmm.
It was quiet for a long moment, just the thud of my heart hammering, the broken rhythm of our ragged breathing, and the whisper of our lips moving in synchronization.
Sometimes it was so easy to forget that I was kissing a vampire. Not because he seemed ordinary or humanI could never for a second forget that I was holding someone more angel than man in my armsbut because he made it seem like nothing at all to have his lips against my lips, my face, my throat. He claimed he was long past the temptation my blood used to be for him, that the idea of losing me had cured him of any desire for it. But I knew the smell of my blood still caused him painstill burned his throat like he was inhaling flames.