Shit--shit--shit. The word kept going through Hawk’s head as he drove through the busy streets toward home. He flexed his shoulders to try and ease some of the tension settling right between his shoulder blades. Watching Brett’s every movement had kept them both on red-alert. Having to leave the hospital, with him still comatose, had been a crushing disappointment.
Watching Zoe had been nearly as painful as watching Brett. With every passing hour, her hope had slowly dimmed. She had grown quieter and shut herself off from him. He had never seen her so low.
“I think I’ll go lie down for a few minutes,” she said, as they entered the house.
He nodded. He needed a stiff drink to drown his disappointment, and a good workout to burn off his frustration.
“In case you need me, I’m going downstairs to work out,” he said.
Laying a hand on his arm momentarily, she limped down the hall toward her room, but stopped midway to turn and look over her shoulder at him. “I appreciate your staying with me today.”
He shrugged. “Where else would I be?”
She looked away.
He stifled the urge to go to her, something in her posture keeping him at a distance. “The doctor said they might have to try several meds, remember that.”
She nodded, her eyes downcast.
“He’s a SEAL, Zoe. Uncle Sam doesn’t want all those hours of training, and the money it cost, to be wasted. They’ll try everything to get Cutter back on his feet.”
She started to say something, stopped, and nodding again, continued on to her room.
Hawk rubbed a hand over his face. He needed to hit the weights and work off the emotional overload. He went to his room, changed into shorts, and went downstairs to the unfinished room beneath the back porch. Bare sheetrock covered two walls, the other two sported wooden two by fours and insulation.
He needed to finish this job and doing something creative might be more beneficial than lifting weights. He closed the door, so as not to disturb Zoe. Positioning wood blocks along the bottom of the wall, he lifted a four by eight sheetrock panel onto the supports. Using a drill, he sank the screws to hold the board in place. He had just moved on to the next sheet when Zoe came down the stairs. She had changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt and was wearing her brace.
“I thought you were going to lie down.”
“I couldn’t. We’ve sat too long at the hospital and the inactivity is killing me. You can’t do this by yourself. Well, obviously you can, but I’d like to help.”
He nodded. “Grab the end of this board and hold it steady while I sink the screws.”
As Zoe worked beside him, he debated how much to tell her. Because of his job, so much of his life had to remain secret. Had that behavior grown to be such a part of him that he didn’t know how to share even the things he could? Was that why Veronica had walked away?
Within an hour they had covered the lower half of two walls. “The upper half can wait until one of the guys comes over.”
“If you have the sheetrock mud and tape, we can start applying it to the walls you have finished.”
Surprised, his brows rose. “I didn’t know you’d worked construction.”
“Every woman needs to know how to do basic repairs. Not all of us have a man around the house, and now-a-days, not all men go in for projects like this, even if they’re around.”
After her earlier depression, he was relieved to see her smile. He lifted a ten-pound bucket of joint compound onto the center of the tarp they stood on, and opened it. “I had to learn. There aren’t many contractors around here interested in doing small jobs.” He looked around for a piece of molding with which to stir it. “Besides, I like the feeling of accomplishment I get when I’ve completed something and it’s just the way I want it.” He mixed the compound with a discarded strip of wood.
Zoe gathered two paint trays and two trowels. “You’ve done a beautiful job upstairs. I especially like the back porch.”
He looked up at her and smiled. “I’ve noticed.” He drew a deep breath. “Today when I left--I checked out some things. Flash paid for the car with money he won in Vegas. Brett, Bowie, and Doc came up clean. And Derrick’s finances are clean, but I found out something else I want to check out more thoroughly before I share it.”
Zoe straightened from her bent position. Her smile, soft and warm, shot straight to his groin. ”I’m not going to ask how you found out about this,” she said. “Thanks for trusting me.”
The curve of her lips drew his attention. The only thing he could think about was getting her as close as possible. He reached for her and guided her against him. He brushed away a streak of sheetrock dust from her cheek. “How about we finish this another time? We can order something to eat and climb in the hot tub.”
Her smile faltered and she focused on his chest. She bit her bottom lip. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded weak as though she couldn’t get her breath, “All right.”
Hooyah!
His heartbeat leaped into a faster rhythm. He knew he was grinning like a fool. It seemed it was a night for letting down barriers.
The doorbell rang upstairs. He bit back an oath and glanced at his watch. “Maybe we can scare off whoever that is with the threat of work.” He brushed her lips with a soft kiss.