“Are you on the pill?”
Hawk’s face was in shadow and she couldn’t read his expression, but his tone held a note of--forced calm.
“No, I’m not.”
“The condom broke, Zoe.”
She stared at him, trying to take in what he’d said. Shock hit her and her facial muscles stiffened. She struggled to control her scattered thoughts and count days. “I think it will be all right. But I guess, if we’re going to do more of this, I’d better call in the morning and see about some kind of backup birth control.”
“Jesus--” He rubbed both hands over his short hair. “I’m sorry, honey.”
She swallowed as the bathroom light played upon his long lean body, highlighting the muscles of his stomach, and the precarious grip the towel held on his hips. Even with anxiety still curling her toes, she wanted him all over again.
Completely unself-conscious, He whipped the towel free and climbed into bed. “You don’t have to worry about diseases or anything. We get checked out all the time. And I don’t take chances.” He gathered her close. “Nothing like this has ever happened before.”
“You don’t have to worry either.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
Heat flared in her face when he continued to look at her. “I just haven’t met anyone I’ve wanted to--”She searched for the right words.
Hawk had no such trouble. “Lower the barriers for?”
“I guess you could put it that way. There was only one other time.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of pressure and responsibility you just dumped on me, along with a pretty big compliment.”
She chuckled. “I’m sure you can handle it.”
“Will you tell me what the guy in college did?”
Her stomach muscles tightened. She wasn’t ready to share one of the most degrading moments of her life. “Why? There’s nothing that can be changed about it.”
“Because it’s important to the way you are with me now, Zoe.”
Surprised by his pushing for more, instead of the reverse, she remained silent. Was she ready for the emotional intimacy he was shooting for? She didn’t know. She turned on her side and guided his arm around her waist. Hawk slipped his arm beneath her neck and tucked his legs beneath hers, his body, adamantly male, molding to hers from behind. She caught her breath at the instant shock of desire that pulsed through her.
Silence settled between them. Unable to relax, she caressed his arm with her fingertips. She couldn’t share the whole terrible, embarrassing, painful story. “Once he saw my scars, he couldn’t--function.” Her voice came out just above a whisper around the knot in her throat.
His lips moved against her shoulder. “If a few scars could make such a difference in the way he felt, he didn’t deserve you, Zoe.”
“You haven’t seen them yet. You may feel the same.”
“We can find out right now,” he started to rise.
She grabbed his arm. “Not yet, Hawk.”
He subsided. “It isn’t going to happen. Trust me, Zoe.”
She drew a deep breath. She had trusted him enough to make love with him. Why couldn’t he be satisfied with that like other men would be?
“You’re not going to chicken out on our date this weekend are you?”
“No.” She’d resigned herself to his seeing everything this weekend. But, it was going to be hard. Really hard.
“It’s only two days.”
“Are you trying to pick a fight?”
“No.”
“Then, give it a rest.”
He chuckled and the sound vibrated against her back.
“All right. I’d rather make love with you than war.” His hand cupped the lower half of her abdomen and he nuzzled her neck. “It feels good to hold you like this, Zoe.”
Desire swept through her and she placed her hand over his. Her voice a husky whisper, she said,” It feels good to be held.”
She turned to face him. The pale yellow light touched the ridge of his brow, the slope of his nose, but she couldn’t see his eyes clearly, or their expression. His hand swept down her back to cup her buttocks and guide her against him. His fingers lingered on the ridge of a scar on her backside and she held her breath as he traced its rectangular shape.
“Did you know in some African cultures they mark their bodies with scars because they believe it shows courage?”
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“They also believe it adds to their beauty, and in certain areas of the body, it enhances sexual pleasure.”
His fingertip continued to caress the ridge sending prickles of awareness down over the curve of her bottom right to the very core of her. Her heart beat so fast she couldn’t catch her breath. “Are you just shining me on, Lieutenant Yazzie?” she managed as she stroked his back.
“No, I’m not.” He kissed her, the pressure of his lips soft, tempting. “I’ll never lie to you, Zoe.” His erection rested against the inside of her thigh as he pushed closer. “Does it feel like I’m lying to you?”
“No,” she said in a tone strangled by renewed need. She molded the soft curve of her belly to the muscular tautness of his and drew his lips back to hers.
He turned pressing her back on the mattress and every inch of his long torso aligned with hers. She caught her breath as the course hair on his chest rubbed her breasts and the tempting length of his erection brushed against her intimately.
“I’ve been lying here every night since you moved in, wanting you and feeling guilty,” he said as his lips caressed the underside of her jaw.
“Why guilty?” She ran her fingers over the short hair at his nape.
“It’s a matter of trust, Zoe.” He drew back to look down at her.
She traced one high cheekbone with her thumb. She wanted him. Now that she had finally taken this step, she refused to allow her family to interfere with that. “I trust you to take care of me, in every way.”
He groaned and kissed her hard. “You know what I’m talking about,” he said, his breathing unsteady.
“I’m not thinking about anything but you and me right now. My family has no place in this bed between us.” She traced the curve of his ear with her tongue. He shuddered and rocked against her.
“Your mom will take one look at us and know, Zoe. Moms have a sixth sense about these things.”
“My sex life is none of her business,” she whispered and blew in his ear.
He turned his lips to hers, the sweep of his tongue hot and torrid. “I’ll lock up the firearms, just in case.” He breathed as his body once again took possession of hers.