****
As they walked down the block to the beach, Zoe focused on Hawk’s response to the bathing suit to try and offset the tension building inside her. The look on his face as he had run his eyes down her body had gone a long way in doing just that. It was going to be all right. She had to get over being so self-conscious of her injury. If she hoped to continue seeing Hawk, she had to participate in some of the things he enjoyed doing. She would get through this, and it would be a great experience. She really wanted to do this.
“Have you decided whether or not you want to go up alone or with me?” Hawk asked.
“I think I want to do it alone.”
“All right.” He caught her hand in his. “It’s much safer than jumping out of a plane.”
“I think I’d enjoy that too, but I wasn’t certain about the landing part.” She studied his features.
“I’m glad you opted for this instead. The thought of you bailing out of a plane--” He shook his head. “I have to do things in my job that I don’t want to watch you do.”
His admission thrilled her, because it implied that he cared about her, but it also hinted at the danger in which he willingly put himself. “Why do you do what you do, Adam Yazzie?”
He turned his head to look at her. “Because I’m good at it.” His fingers tightened over hers. “And at the end of the day, I know I’ve made a difference, even if no one else knows it.”
“And because you like the excitement of it?”
He smiled. “Sometimes. Then there are times when it’s hot and boring and a pain in the ass.” He guided her around a family of five making their way away from the park, carrying coolers, beach bags, and toys. The smell of sun, sea, and suntan lotion lingered on them like the aroma of simmering spices.
“Brett said he liked it because there were always new challenges being thrown at you, and you had to think fast on your feet.”
“Yeah, there’s that too. I love the training and the focus and the sense of purpose.”
“Does it make you happy?”
“I’ve had moments of pleasure and satisfaction and moments of excitement. And the adrenaline rushes that go along with it all, too.”
She knew he was avoiding using the word danger. The adrenaline rushes would go along with risking his life.
They came out of the shaded side street onto the boardwalk and Zoe was hit by light and colors, sounds and smells, as the beach opened up before them. The cluster of colorful umbrellas, that dotted the horizon, looked like exotic mushrooms sprouting from the pale, yellow ochre sand. A baby, about eighteen months old, her face framed by blond ringlets, shoveled the dry powdery stuff into a pail. A woman sat next to her watching her every move. A large man, his belly already turning red from too much sun, lay sleeping on a quilt. A group of boys whipped by on roller blades, dressed in t-shirts and loosely hanging shorts. The smell of grilling meat hung in the air.
Hawk paused by a streetlight attached to a concrete divider separating the beach from the long strip of stores and restaurants. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tube of sun block. “I don’t want to see you get burnt. Out on the water, you catch more rays than you’re aware you’re getting.” A grin spread slowly across his lips. “I’ll do you, if you’ll do me.”
Zoe fought the urge to roll her eyes. “That ranks right up there with that cheesy line you used on me the second time we met.”
“What was that?” he asked, handing over the tube of sun block when she reached for it.
“Uncle Sam trusts me. Don’t you think you can, too?”
“Well, it worked for the guy in the movie.” He tugged his t-shirt off.
“Women don’t want lines. They want to know you’re truly interested in them.”
He sat down on the railing, and his pale gray gaze settled on her with such intensity a dropping sensation struck her stomach. He drew her between his widespread feet. “I’m very interested in you, Zoe Weaver.”
The look in his eyes sent an arrow of arousal zooming straight between her legs. “Thanks, I’m interested in you, too.” She squirted out a thin stream of sun block, and rubbing her hands together to coat her fingers, spread it over his wide shoulders and down his chest. He felt so warm and alive. Zoe wanted nothing more than to capture this moment and hold it still so she could absorb every nuance. The way he looked against the backdrop of an azure blue sky brushed with wisps of clouds, how dark his hair looked while his pale gray eyes appeared so startlingly light, and how he smelled of sun block, soap, and him, warm and musky. He turned so she could do his back.
She had touched him while making love, but it was different doing so in public. It was a possessive gesture for everyone to see.
Was he aware of that? Did he want that?
Was this all something physical that would burn itself out? Or would he begin to pity her and that would eat away at it until it ended?
His knee was only a few weeks from healing completely and he would go back on the active duty list. After that, he could be called back in at any time. Knowing that affected every experience she had with him. It was as though every moment she was with him, she was saying good-bye. Would she be strong enough to accept it when it really happened?
He turned to face her and squirted sun block out in his palm. “Turn around, Zoe.”
She did as he asked and reached up to hold her ponytail out of the way. She had never been so aware of a man’s touch as he rubbed the sunscreen over her shoulders and down her back. The texture of his hands was slightly rough, callused, their pressure gentle.
“I want to ask you something, but I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.”
His tone, so subdued, sent anxiety slicing through her and she turned to look over her shoulder at him. “All right.”
“The injuries, other than your leg, there are no long term effects are there? I mean, down the road--”
The question, so unexpected both gave her hope and made her wary. “No. The rest of me is fine. And as long as I do my stretching exercises, I’ll be able to walk.”
The tension in his expression relaxed and he smiled. His fingers brushed back a long strand from her shoulder. “Your hair has gotten lighter in the sun since you got to California.”
“Yes, I know.” He touched her nose gently with the tip of his finger and spread sun block over the bridge. She smiled at him. For a moment his eyes settled on her lips with a heated look wiping away her tension.
He caught her hand. “Let’s get something to drink and wander down the boardwalk for a few minutes. We have time.”
They people-watched as they walked down the concrete strip running the length of Mission Beach. Teenage girls and boys basked in the sun, or played Frisbee, families clustered together on blankets and towels. She had never seen so many voluptuous women and muscular young men all greased up and worshiping the sun. The air, sun-soaked and moist, caressed her bare skin. No one turned to stare or point and she began to relax.
“It’s not nearly as tough as you were expecting, is it?” he asked.
Zoe shook her head. “No.”
She fell silent for a moment. “Has there been anyone you wanted to settle down with?” she asked, her tone hesitant.
“I was tempted once. I couldn’t be there for her like I should have been and she broke it off.”
A dropping sensation struck Zoe’s stomach. There had been someone special. She caught her breath against the rush of jealousy that made her face burn. Who was this woman?
Her voice came out husky and soft. “I’m sorry.”
He was silent for a moment. “It’s hard for a woman to stick it out alone. She’s met someone else now and moved on.” He turned to look at her. “I couldn’t really blame her. We weren’t engaged, but we’d been talking about living together, then my unit got called up. It gets lonely and it takes a special woman who can stay faithful and who can carry the weight while we’re gone.”
“Like Trish and my mother.”
<
br /> “Yeah.” He nodded
“She has her job and the kids. It helps when you have family around. You stay focused on what’s important.”
Hawk glanced at her. “Sometimes I forget you’re a Marine Corps brat.”
“It’s been a while since I was one, but the memories are still there.” Some good. Some bad. Being with him these weeks had dulled the sharpness of the bad ones, and the pain. It was clearer to her now why her mother had hung in there and kept things together while her father was overseas.
She looked up as a group of boys rollerbladed passed them.
Hawk caught her against his side as one teenager wheeled close with only inches to spare.
“We’d better head back,” he said.
While they waited for the crew to show, Zoe eyed the powerboat from which they were going to parasail. The thirty-one foot vessel looked sleek and fast. “Have you ever wanted to own a boat?”
“Yeah, but they take some upkeep, and I pretty much spend most of my time working on the house. Maybe once I get the remodeling job finished--”
She looked down the dock and anxiety dropped into her stomach like a lead weight. Dressed in bathing suits and t-shirts, Derrick Armstrong and Marjorie walked down the dock toward them.
Something in her expression must have alerted Hawk, for he turned to follow her line of sight.
He gave her hand a squeeze. “Maybe they’ve just come to see us off.”
After his talk with Derrick the other day, she doubted it.
Hawk focused on the other man his gaze narrow and intent. His expression sent a shiver up her spine.
CHAPTER 18