As I was falling asleep that night, I couldn’t help but think about what Jason had said. Was something weird going on in Bramford? Things had gotten strange after Jason arrived, but I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly that was. For the most part, things were going on exactly the way they had been. Nothing was strange.
Nobody liked it when I spent time with Jason. Toby was jealous of him. Lilith had told me to stay away from him. My dad had made a comment that I’d been spending too much time with him. But maybe they were all just concerned about my safety. If Jason were tied to some dangerous group of people who were tracking him, it made sense that they wouldn’t want me to be around him all the time.
There was also the fact that Lilith and Toby had both said something about not being allowed to tell me things or to do things with me. Who was telling them that? Who said they weren’t allowed? And today in the lunch line, they’d been almost civil to each other for a second. Then they’d been talking about something they both understood, but I didn’t understand. What was it that Toby and Lilith had in common? How could they have anything in common? They hated each other. They’d hated each other for years. I didn’t understand. That was definitely weird.
But it didn’t really mean anything, did it? There were lots of reasons why Lilith and Toby could say they weren’t allowed to do something. It was probably unrelated. I was worried because I’d been talking to Jason. Jason was paranoid, with good reason. I could tell that he hadn’t had an easy life. He probably saw conspiracies and danger under every rock. Talking to him was making me paranoid. That was all there was to it.
Then there was the mystery of Jason himself. He appeared out of nowhere, running for his life from an unseen person or group of people. He claimed the people after him were dangerous. That they were fanatics—Freemasons with guns. Jason was usually composed and unemotional, but he knew how to fight. I’d watched him incapacitate at least three guys who looked bigger and stronger than him. He was very well educated. He’d read all kinds of things. He was smart. He could out-argue my dad, and Ms. Campbell was dazzled by his brilliance.
Hallam—the man who’d come after him—had claimed Jason was his brother, and there’d been a certain sincerity to what he had to say. I’d almost wanted to believe him. In the picture he’d brought, Jason looked happy. Jason made his past sound like it had been horrible. Had it always been horrible? At one point, when that picture had been taken, he’d been happy. I had to consider the possibility that Jason wasn’t telling the truth. What had happened to him? Why was he running? And were we all in as much danger as he claimed? I didn’t know the answer to any of those questions.
I did know something else, though. Something unsettling. There was something to Toby’s accusations. Earlier that night, when Jason had been sitting on my bed, so close to me, I’d looked at his face, and I’d thought about kissing him. I’d been out of my mind with worry when I thought he was in danger. And I liked being around Jason. The thought of being around him for an indefinite period of time sounded like a wonderful idea to me.
It wasn’t too serious. I still loved Toby. Toby and I had been through a lot together. He was the person who I wanted to lose my virginity to. I wanted us to be together for a very long time. I’d never do anything to hurt him. I knew that.
But Jason was beautiful and mysterious and kind of dangerous. He’d saved me. And when I was around him... But none of that meant anything. I didn’t want to worry about it too much. I had a crush on Jason. That was all. I had to be careful, because I owed it to Toby, to the man I loved, to be faithful. These feelings I had for Jason would fade away eventually. But I did have to acknowledge they existed.