Kristen was thrilled to have the girls with her the next day. They helped her bake bread and fix lunch. Mary still hadn’t come at lunch time, but she’d warned Kristen that could happen, so Kristen wasn’t worried.
After the dishes were done, she put the girls down for a nap in her bed. She could always wake them later if need be. She went into the sitting area with Samuel and curled up beside him on the couch. She liked the idea of him only working half a day of Fridays.
“I’ve never really seen you with children before,” he told her. “You’re really good with them.”
She smiled her head on his shoulder. She had never enjoyed touching anyone before, so she found that anytime she and Samuel were alone she was touching him somehow. “I love children.”
“They love you as well.” He sighed. “Mary looks so unhappy. I know she just lost her husband, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look that unhappy. I really feel like I wasn’t doing my job right, because I never noticed.”
Kristen shook her head. “No one noticed from what I could tell. She had devoted her life to her husband and children, so she had no close friends. When her husband died, her life was over. At least that’s the way she saw it, and because she’d never reached out and made friends with anyone, she didn’t feel like she had the right to ask anyone for anything.” She sighed. “And now she’s alone with those two sweet little girls, and has no idea how she’s going to provide for them.”
Samuel kissed the top of her head, his hand stroking up and down her arm. What had he thought the negatives to marrying her were? Somehow, he couldn’t think of any anymore. She was the wife God had chosen just for him, and he couldn’t be happier with her. “We’ll help her. You don’t have any friends here yet, so you can be her friend. Watch her girls when she needs it even watch them while she works if she needs you to. I don’t mind at all. She’ll have it hard enough as it is; she needs a good friend like you at her side.”
They talked of all the ways she could help Mary and decided she would start a rotation at church for meals to be taken to the family once Mary started working. She wouldn’t have time to cook as much as she had been.
The girls woke from their nap, and she sat straight startled. It was already three in the afternoon, and Mary hadn’t returned. She hadn’t been sure when she’d be, though, so Kristen decided to just keep on as if nothing was wrong. Maybe the interview had gone so well, they’d asked her to start immediately.
She helped the girls make the bed after their nap and took them into the kitchen to help her with supper. “If your mama is okay with it, then you can just have dinner with us again tonight. Would you like that?” She cut up strips of bacon to add to the huge pot of beans she was making. She’d fix some corn bread to go with it. It wasn’t fancy, but it was a good filling meal.
When it was time to sit down for supper, and Mary still wasn’t there, Kristen began to worry a bit. Samuel’s eyes met hers as she settled the girls at the table. He whispered, “Are you worried?”
She nodded slightly. “Maybe you could go to the rooming house after supper and see what time she left there? Or maybe she’s still working there?”
He nodded before moving around to his chair and sitting down, bowing his head to pray for the meal. The girls kept up a constant stream of chatter while they ate, obviously content. “Are you girls going to help me with the dishes after supper?” she asked. “Pastor Benner is going to help a friend for a few minutes.”
The girls nodded eagerly. Edwina smiled happily. “I love helping you with dishes. You never yell at us like Mama does!”
Kristen looked at the young girl for a moment. “I’m sure your mama doesn’t mean to yell at you. She’s having a hard time now that your Papa died.” She paused, searching for just the right words. “Your papa was her best friend in the whole world, and when he died, she felt like her life was over too.”
Edwina nodded. “She never laughs or smiles anymore. And she doesn’t hug us either. She just cries a lot.”
Beatrice sat beside her older sister, nodding her head, her pale blond curls bouncing up and down with her head motions.
Kristen’s eyes met Samuel’s and there were tears shining in hers. Samuel nodded slightly as if to say he understood exactly what she was thinking. She sighed.
When they were finished, Samuel kissed her cheek and hurried out the door, going to check on Mary. “I’ll be back soon.”
Kristen made a game out of doing the dishes. Edwina dried them for her, while Beatrice brought the dirty dishes from the table and then swept under it. Kristen knew she’d have to sweep it all over again once the girls were gone, but she didn’t mind. They wouldn’t learn unless they practiced.
After the dishes, Kristen looked at the clock again. Samuel had been gone for a half hour. It shouldn’t be taking him so long. She sat on the couch, and took down a book of Bible stories that she’d had since she was a little girl. “Which Bible story do you want to hear first?” she asked, her voice filled with excitement to cover the fear she was feeling.
“Noah!” Edwina suggested.
“Jonah!” Beatrice insisted.
Kristen smiled. “How about this…We’ll start with Jonah because Beatrice is the youngest, and if we have time, I’ll read both! If we don’t have time, I’ll read Noah the next time you come over.”
Edwina nodded reluctantly. “That would be okay, since she’s the baby.” Edwina emphasized the last word to make it clear that her sisters was much too young to have much expected of her.
Kristen opened the book and sat between the two girls on the sofa, reading to them softly. She was almost finished with Noah’s story when Samuel finally came in the door, his eyes sad and tired. She read the last two paragraphs before standing up. “Why don’t you girls look at the pictures while I talk to Pastor Benner? I’ll be right back.”
Kristen was frightened by the time they were on the front porch with the door closed so the girls couldn’t hear them. “What happened?”
Samuel was shaking, his eyes wide with sorrow. “She never went to her interview this morning.” He took deep gulping breaths. “She put her husband’s revolver in her mouth and pulled the trigger.” He didn’t add that he’d found her body, but it was there in his body language.
Kristen’s hand covered her mouth and she sagged against the door. “What? No! What about the girls?”
“I think she was just waiting until she found someone she could trust with them before killing herself.” He pulled a note from his pocket. There was a small spot of blood on it, and Kristen recoiled from it. “Your name was on this. The sheriff and I both read it, but it’s for you.”
Kristen took the paper from him, tears streaming down her cheeks. How were they going to tell the precious little girls waiting for them in the house their mother was dead? She unfolded it carefully and read the words, “Dear Kristen, If you’re reading this, then it means I’m dead. I couldn’t keep going without my John. The responsibility of the girls was too much for me. They’ll be much better off with two parents. I know you’ll keep your promise to me and take care of my girls. Thank you for befriending me when no one else would. Yours, Mary Thatcher.”
She was sobbing, her breath coming in short spurts as she finished reading it and handed him back the note. “What are we going to do? How can we tell them?”
Samuel pulled her into his arms and held her close. “I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do.” His hands stroked her back and carefully smoothed her hair.
Kristen stood leaning against them, trying to get hold of herself. She barely knew Mary, but her little girls had been left orphans. She wanted to scream at how selfish the other woman was, but never having been in her position, she didn’t know that she wouldn’t have done the same.
Finally, after several minutes of just holding onto one another, Kristen pulled back, lifting the apron she was still wearing to
wipe the tears from her face. “We either need to keep the girls or find them a home. I promised. I don’t think she’d have done this without my promise.”
Samuel sighed and shook his head. “You can’t blame yourself for this. It’s not your fault.” He was too busy blaming himself for not seeing that she needed help to let his wife blame herself.
She shrugged. “Can you honestly say this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t agreed to keep the girls?”
He shrugged. “I don’t have any way of knowing that. I do know that she was in a terrible state of mind for this to have happened.”
“What are we going to do about the girls?” She didn’t know if it was too soon to bring them up, but she knew they needed to be cared for.
Samuel studied her for a minute. “You want to keep them, don’t you?”
Kristen nodded. “I do. They have no family, no close friends. They know us and they’re comfortable with us. What else can we do?”
“We just got married last week, Kristen. Are either of us really ready to be instant parents to small children?” Samuel wasn’t opposed to the idea, but everything was happening so suddenly. He really wasn’t sure what he felt at this point.
“I don’t know. I do know that everything happens for a reason. She asked me to make her that promise, so that must have been God’s hand guiding the children to us. He wants us to keep them. There’s no other explanation.” She sniffled indelicately, wishing she had a handkerchief handy.
Samuel watched her for a moment before nodding. “You’re right. Let’s go talk to them and let them know that we’re keeping them.”
Kristen stared at him for a moment, almost not believing that he was agreeing. When she comprehended what he was saying, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. “Thank you! Oh, I love you!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room, only realizing what she’d said once they were inside. She didn’t look over at him again. She hadn’t even realized she felt that way until the words had come out of her mouth, and now she realized she’d felt it since the very beginning. Well, maybe not that first night when he’d been tired, hungry, rude, and dirty, but certainly the next day when he’d been so sweet to her.
She walked to her spot between the girls on the couch. They were each holding a corner of the book as if they were waiting for her to return. She sat between them once they’d moved the book and looked back and forth between the two of them. “I have something I need to tell you,” she said, prefacing the conversation the best way she knew how.
Beatrice and Edwina both gave her their undivided attention while Samuel sat in a chair opposite them, his forearms braced on his knees as he leaned forward to be a part of their conversation. “What?” Edwina asked her blue eyes round and innocent.
“Well, let me ask this first. How would you girls like to live with Pastor Benner and me? I know our house is small, but we’d like you to stay with us and be our daughters.” Kristen all but held her breath as she waited for the little girls to respond.
Edwina looked confused but nodded. “Mama said that we were staying forever when she dropped us off this morning.”
Kristen looked at Edwina, startled by the girl’s words. “She did?” Kristen looked up at Samuel to see if he’d heard, and he had the same perplexed look on his face that she was certain she wore.
Edwina nodded. “Yes, and she put our clothes in the bushes in the backyard where no one would find them, so we wouldn’t have to go home for them. She said she was saving you the work.”
Kristen sat back, shocked by what she was hearing. “So you knew this morning that you were going to live with us?”
Beatrice nodded. “Mama’s going away, and she said she couldn’t take us.” The tiny girl shrugged. “You’re happier than Mama.”
Kristen blinked a few times, wondering if she should tell the girls their mother was dead. Her eyes met Samuel’s, hoping he would have an answer. Surely they’d trained him for this at the seminary, how she didn’t know, but he had to be better prepared for it than she was.
Samuel shook his head slightly as if he had no idea what was going on. “She said she was going away?” he asked.
Edwina nodded with a smile. “She said she wouldn’t see us again on earth, but we would see her in heaven.” She shrugged. “We’re not ready to go to heaven yet.”
Kristen hugged both girls. “Of course, you’re not. So you don’t mind living with us?”
Edwina smiled, her blue eyes lighting up with happiness. “We’re happy to live with you. Mama said you’d be good parents to us and love us like we were your own children.”
“We will,” Kristen answered. “We will love you always.” She stood and went to get some fresh linens. She was glad Samuel had his own things before they married, because she would need them now. She made up a small bed for them on the floor in the sitting area. “There. This will be where you sleep until we can add on.” She had plans for adding on, but the church had to okay it.
The girls took turns going out back to use the outhouse before settling into their makeshift bed on the floor. Kristen kissed each girl on the forehead and watched as Samuel did the same. “We’ll see you in the morning,” she said quietly, leaving the room and going to the bedroom she shared with Samuel. Her eyes were wide as she looked at her husband. “Can you believe she told the girls they’d be living here? What if we’d decided to find homes for them with other people?”
Samuel shook his head, his arms coming around her. “She knew you for less than a day, and she knew better than that. You’re a loving wife, and you’ll be a good mother.” He looked down at her. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
Kristen stared at him with her eyes wide. She had never meant to say she loved him. “What do you mean?”
“You told me you love me. Did you mean it?” His brown eyes were intense as they stared down into hers.
Slowly she nodded. “I do love you, Samuel. I don’t know if I knew it before I said it, but it’s true.”
His eyes lit up. “I love you, too.” He brushed her lips with a kiss. “You had me wondering about what type of wife you’d be at first, but I can see now that the answer is wonderful. You are a wonderful wife.”
She smiled resting her head against his shoulder. “I’m glad I decided to marry you, even though I was nervous.”
He nodded. “I am too. Being your husband has made me see everything differently. I know that I’m a better man and a better minister for having married you. I love you, Kristen. Even when you’re odd.”
She laughed. “You love me because I’m odd. Admit it!”
“Life with you will certainly never be boring, will it?” he asked.
“If you wanted boring, you should have married someone else, Samuel Benner. I will keep you jumping.”
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