It shook him how much he wanted to. She was only thirteen, for heaven’s sake. And he was eighteen. She was still a kid, though he had noticed at her graduation party she was growing up fast. Her hair was darker red, and she showed the first hint of womanhood. Dad had noticed him noticing her and given him an odd look. He’d laughed at himself. He’d almost told Priscilla to find someone else, but he didn’t want her to think he didn’t care. He just wasn’t sure how to encourage a thirteen-year-old girl without giving her the wrong impression.
He’d loved her as far back as he could remember. When Dad gave her to Peter and Priscilla, he’d grieved. Now he was worrying. He couldn’t get Abra out of his mind. He couldn’t squelch the concerns Priscilla had unwittingly, or perhaps wittingly, put in his head. Abra is suffering, Lord. Is it because of the past? Or is it because of something that’s happening now? And what might that be all about? Was it just teen angst? Conflicts with Penny? How would he know unless he spent time with her?
Abra needs a friend. No more than that. And no less, either.
Joshua was driving back into town when he spotted Abra walking across the bridge. She didn’t even notice his truck coming up behind her until he tooted his horn and called her name through the open window. “Do you want a ride?”
“Oh. Hi. Sure.” She yanked open the door and hopped in.
“I was just thinking about you, and there you were.” Joshua put the truck in gear. “I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“You’ve been busy.”
Her hair was damp and her cheeks sunburned. “You’ve been swimming at Riverfront Park.”
“Today was the first time I went. I’m not going back.”
“Did you get into a squabble with Penny?”
“No.” She lifted a shoulder and stared out the window. “I just don’t like going there.”
Oh. He knew why, but thought it better not to say any more. “So . . . what are your plans for the rest of the day?”
“Me?” She gave him a sardonic look. “Plans?”
“Good. I’m starved. How about a hamburger, fries, and a milk shake? You can call home from Bessie’s and let your folks know you’re with me. I don’t think they’ll mind.”
All the angst left her face and she gave him a smile that melted his toes.
The new waitress, Susan, took their order. Joshua understood now why Dad was having more meals at Bessie’s. He asked Abra how her summer was going, and she said, “Slowly.” He told her she was getting better at the piano every Sunday, and she said she still felt sick to her stomach every time she played in church. “Mitzi insists I’ll get over it, but I haven’t yet.”
“How did she talk you into it?”
“She said if I played for church, she’d teach me ragtime. I’m holding her to her promise.”
He chuckled. “It could be interesting if you got the two styles mixed up.”
She gave him a mischievous smile that reminded him of Mitzi, then changed the subject. “What have you been doing all summer? Are you and Lacey Glover still going together?”
“We broke up two weeks ago.”
“Is your heart broken?”
He put his forearms on the booth table. “We’re still good friends.”
Abra’s sympathetic smile turned sour. “I’ll tell Penny. Her heart will be all aflutter knowing you’re available again. And she’ll forget all about Kent Fullerton.”
He didn’t like the catty tone. “Don’t be a brat.”
She looked ready to defend herself and then sank back against the seat. “I get tired of pretending sometimes.”
“Pretending what?”
She looked at him and then shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You matter. To me.” He leaned forward. “What’s bothering you?”
“Everything. Nothing. I don’t even know. I just want . . .” He could see the inner struggle and frustration on her face. She gave up trying to explain and shrugged. “My hamburger, fries, and shake.” She smiled politely as the waitress delivered their orders.
“You’re new, aren’t you?” Joshua said before the waitress headed off. When she said yes, he extended his hand. “I’m Joshua Freeman, Pastor Zeke’s son, and this is my friend, Abra Matthews. I’ll bet Bessie is glad to have you on board.”
“So she says.” Susan gave a mirthless smile. She looked from him to Abra. “Nice to meet you both.” Did she sense something amiss?
Joshua said grace and picked up his hamburger. “Do you have a crush on the lifeguard, too?”
“Penny would murder me in my sleep.” She pounded the end of the bottle of ketchup until it came in a flood.
Joshua chuckled. “Nothing like a little hamburger with your ketchup.”
She giggled.
“So, how did you guys meet Kent Fullerton?”
She picked up her hamburger. “Well, we haven’t exactly met him yet. He’s a lifeguard at the park. He’ll be a senior next year, and he’s on the football team. All the girls are crazy about him.”
“Including you?”
She swallowed and gave him a droll look. “He’s a sun-bleached blond Adonis who would look perfect with Penny.” She shrugged and took another bite.
He changed the subject.
Abra told him about the list of classics Peter had given her. She’d read six so far. She relaxed and did witty imitations of conversations in Jane Austen novels. Joshua laughed.
After eating, they went over to the square and listened to the band. Families gathered. A few older couples danced on the patio in front of the gazebo. Joshua took Abra’s hand. “Come on. Let’s join them.”
“Are you kidding?” She dug her heels in. “I don’t know how to dance!”
Joshua half dragged her. “Don’t be such a chicken. I’ll teach you.” He showed her a simple box step, then put her hand on his shoulder and pulled her into dance position. She apologized every time she stepped on his toes. “Lift your head, Abra. Stop staring at your feet.” He grinned at her. “Trust me. Close your eyes and feel the music.” She caught on quickly after that.
Other couples crowded in. The clock in the bell tower chimed. The song ended. Joshua let her go. “I’d better get you home.”
Abra walked alongside him. The dismal expression he’d seen at the bridge was gone. She looked happy and relaxed, more like the kid she ought to be.
“Are you up to a hike on my next day off?”
“Sure.” She beamed a smile at him. “When will that be?”
“Sunday. And I’m talking about three miles uphill, not a walk around the block.” The truck sputtered and died twice before he got it started. “Are you up to it?”
“I don’t know.” She grinned. “Are you sure you don’t have to work on this piece of junk?”
He grinned back. “Never on a Sunday.”
Joshua knew Dad wouldn’t be home yet. He had said he was driving out to the MacPhersons’ to talk with Gil, who’d been struggling ever since he’d come home from the war. Sadie called every few weeks and asked Dad to come. He never said what it was about, other than Gil had been a medic and saw more than any man should.
Joshua took the mail from the box and headed up the steps, flipping through envelopes. The one at the bottom of the pile, addressed to him, felt like a kick in his stomach.
He set Dad’s mail on the kitchen table, his heart drumming a hard beat, and opened his letter. Refolding it, he slipped it back into the envelope. He looked around and then decided to tuck it into his Bible for safekeeping.
The roar of the Packard sounded. Joshua didn’t want to tell Dad, not yet. He wanted to pray about it and let it soak in first. He needed a little time before he broke the news. He felt like an elephant was sitting on his chest.
Summer suddenly looked a whole lot different from the way he’d envisioned it a couple hours ago while dancing with Abra.
Maybe God wanted to close that door.
CHAPTER 3
Forgive your enemies, but never f
orget their names.
JOHN F. KENNEDY
ABRA WAS PLEASED when Joshua kept his promise and took her for a hike on Sunday afternoon. During the next few weeks, whenever he got off work early, he would pick her up and drive her to Bessie’s for fries and a shake. He told her to stop complaining about Penny and Priscilla and talk to him about books, or what classes she was going to take, or what she wanted to do when she grew up.
Most Sundays they hiked together. He pushed her to keep up, not stopping until she felt like she had a spear in her side and could barely breathe.
“Okay. We’ll stop here.”
She sat, feeling sticky with sweat. Joshua smiled and shrugged off his pack. “Next week, we’re going all the way to the top of the mountain.”
“Assuming I’ll ever take another hike with you.” She flopped onto her back, arms spread.
“A half mile and we’re there. The view will be worth it. I promise.”
“Tell me about it on your way back.” She sat up, opened her canteen, and would have emptied it if he hadn’t taken it away.
“A couple of swallows or you might get sick.” He opened his pack and handed her a sandwich. The peanut butter and jelly had melted into the bread. It tasted like heaven.
She took another couple of swallows of water and looked at him. “You haven’t said much today.”
“I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Such as?”
“Hike to the top of the mountain and we’ll talk about it.” His smile teased, but his eyes looked serious. He ate without speaking. He sat right next to her, but seemed to be a thousand miles away.
Abra finished her sandwich and stood. “Let’s go.” He looked up at her as though having second thoughts. “Come on. You said you wanted to make it to the top and show me the view. So let’s go.”
He stuffed the pieces of wax paper into his pack, shouldered it, and took the lead. Abra felt dread nibbling at her as she followed. A quarter of a mile and she was huffing again. Her legs ached. Her feet felt hot inside her red canvas sneakers. Gritting her teeth, she didn’t complain. She felt triumphant when she saw the top. Joshua shrugged off his backpack and dropped it on the ground. Abra looked out over Haven. “You can see everything from up here.”
“Almost.” He seemed to be drinking in the sight.
She’d been thinking of all kinds of possibilities. “So. You and Lacey Glover are back together and you’re getting married.”
“Married? Where did you get that idea? I’m not dating anyone. I’ve been—”
He stopped so abruptly, she knew she wasn’t going to like whatever he had to say. “You’ve been what?”
He looked grim. “Drafted.”
Abra closed her eyes, her lips trembling. She remembered standing in the graveyard and watching Marianne’s coffin being lowered into the ground.
She sat heavily on the ground, put her elbows on her knees and her hands over her head. She sucked in a sobbing breath. “Why do you have to go?”
“Because I’ve been called.” He sat beside her. “It doesn’t mean I won’t be back.”
It hurt to breathe. “So you brought me all the way up here to tell me that.”
“I’ve been putting it off for weeks. I didn’t want to spoil what time I had left with you.”
She was afraid to ask, but she had to know. “Are you going to Korea?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Boot camp first; then I’ll get orders to wherever I’m to serve.” He frowned. “We have bases in Europe and Japan. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”
She leaned against him and he put his arm around her shoulders. She scooted even closer, until her hip was against his. “I love you.”
She felt him kiss the top of her head. “I love you, too. I always have. I always will.”
“How many people know you’re going?”
“Dad. Jack Wooding. Now you.”
“What about Penny? Peter and Priscilla?”
“You can tell them. I think Priscilla has already guessed.” He rubbed the top of her head with his chin. “When are you going to start calling them Mom and Dad?”
Abra snuggled herself against him and cried. “Promise you’ll come home.”
“I promise to try.”
Abra ran home from school, eager to see if another letter had arrived from Joshua. He had arrived at Fort Ord. He described the base near Monterey Bay and said he’d been assigned to a holding barracks, then a training barracks, where he received his uniform. An NCO platoon leader would oversee the training for the next eight weeks. More letters followed.
Our NCO is tough, but every man here respects him. He made it through D-day, so everything he says carries weight. We march everywhere and exercise several times a day. The obstacle courses are a challenge I enjoy, but I’m getting tired of running miles in formation every day, rain or shine. . . .
He said he missed having time alone in the hills. Every hour of his day was scheduled, and all of it in the company of the other men.
My bunkmate is from Georgia and a Christian, too. He’s got a better voice than I do and sings so loud at chapel some men laugh at him. He says, “Amen” every time the chaplain makes a point, which startled me at first. I’m getting used to it. He worked for a peanut farmer, but joined up when he heard President Truman desegregated the armed forces.
Joshua took his first leave and spent it down at Cannery Row with buddies from the barracks. Abra went to the library and checked out John Steinbeck’s Cannery Row. In her next letter, she asked if he was looking for the Bear Flag Restaurant. Joshua wrote a swift response.
If you’re asking what I think you’re asking, the answer is no! I was not looking for a girl. I was looking for something better to eat than mess food. Tell Bessie I miss Oliver’s cooking.
Mitzi wanted Abra to practice on the church baby grand. So every Saturday, they met there. Mitzi would give her instructions and then leave her to practice while she checked the hymnals in the pews or found something to do in the fellowship hall. Pastor Zeke often came into the sanctuary to sit and listen. “You get better all the time, Abra.”
She found herself watching for him. He always waited until she finished practicing before he asked if she’d heard anything from Joshua.
“I got a letter yesterday. He said he’s discovering muscles he didn’t know he had. And he went down to Monterey again.”
“He makes Monterey sound like a beautiful place, doesn’t he?”
“Is he coming home after boot camp?”
“We can hope so.”
She hadn’t talked to Pastor Zeke this much since she was living in his house.
Joshua loved mail call. Dad wrote frequently, but Abra was writing less and less, and her letters were brief and stilted.
Dear Joshua,
How are you? Fine, I hope. I am well and working hard.
She wrote about homework assignments and teachers, never about Penny or her other friends.
Tearing open Dad’s envelope, Joshua unfolded the single sheet filled with his father’s neat cursive writing.
My dearest Joshua,
May this letter find you well in body and in Spirit. I miss our long talks over morning coffee. I’m glad you’ve found buddies willing to spend time in Bible study. When two or three are gathered in His name, Christ is among you, and He will comfort and strengthen you when you need it most.
Priscilla and Peter came by the house. They are very concerned about Abra, as am I. She goes to Mitzi’s every day after school now. She hardly speaks to Penny. Priscilla thinks Abra is jealous over some boy who likes Penny. I pray that both girls will come to care for each other as sisters should. They were so close before Peter and Priscilla adopted Abra. We all hoped their friendship would grow into a true sisterly bond.
Abra has a good friend in Mitzi. She is a good woman who loves the Lord. I know she’ll do all she can to keep Abra in the boat while going down the rapids.
On a happier note, Abra is be
coming a wonderful pianist. She told Mitzi she no longer feels like throwing up every time she plays in front of the congregation. Sometimes I think she wants to talk to me, and I leave my door open. Mitzi gives us space, but Abra stays silent. I broke Abra’s trust, and I can only pray and wait and hope someday she will accept my love again.
Dear Joshua,
You’ll be happy to know that Penny and I are on speaking terms again. We both liked Kent Fullerton. Remember the Adonis I told you about? He’s our star quarterback with half the girls in school pining for his attention. He showed some interest in me, until Penny decided to steal him. But easy come, easy go. Now her heart is broken because he’s going out with Charlotte. Penny said it had to do with Peter’s no-dating-until-16 rule, but I think it has to do with wanting a girl who will sit in the back row of the Swan Theater. You know what they do in the back row, don’t you? Penny is doing a passable job of acting like she doesn’t care.
I miss you, Joshua. I haven’t had a hamburger and shake since you left! But I’m mad at you, too. You invited your dad to your boot camp graduation ceremony. Why didn’t you invite me? I would have come. I wouldn’t care if I missed church for the rest of my life! And don’t tell me I should be ashamed of myself for having such a bad attitude. I hear that enough from Mitzi.
I am mad at her right now, too. She already made me learn to play every hymn in the book, but that’s not good enough for her. Now she’s making me memorize a different one every week. I was so mad I wanted to punch her. She just smiled.
I took her copy of “Maple Leaf Rag” and said I wasn’t giving it back. She came right out on her front porch and yelled loud enough for everyone in the neighborhood to hear that I’d never get the rhythm right without her. Priscilla and Peter said I can practice at the house, but I know that won’t last. There’s always the piano at church, but I don’t think your dad or the board would approve. Do you? Ha-ha.