There are more than 12,000 people who describe their job as bill collector in the City of Los Angeles.
There are more than 60,000 people working in pornography.
There are approximately 7,500 people working in agriculture (probably surprised there are any).
Twenty-one thousand students a year drop out of high schools in Los Angeles County.
There are 240 strip joints in Los Angeles County (could also be filed under fun).
The 24th through the 39th Congressional Districts of the United States Congress are located in Los Angeles County.
Seven hundred thousand people a year in Los Angeles receive food stamps.
More than 1.6 million people live below the poverty line.
Approximately 2.7 million people live without health insurance.
Seventy-five thousand people a year die in Los Angeles (really not fun). Coronary heart disease is the leading cause of death, cancer is second.
Twenty-nine cents of every tax dollar collected is spent on law enforcement. Fifteen cents of every tax dollar collected is spent on sewage collection and treatment. Eight cents of every tax dollar collected is spent on road maintenance. One-point-five cents of every tax dollar collected is spent on education.
One hundred and twenty-five thousand animals are impounded every year. Ninety-five thousand are euthanized.
Ninety thousand people are injured in automobile accidents.
Four hundred and twenty-five thousand people a year contract sexually transmitted diseases.
There are 750,000 alcoholics and drug addicts.
There are approximately 1,500 suicides every year.
The average daily population of all jail facilities in Los Angeles County is 33,000 people.
There are approximately 150,000 felony arrests every year.
Fifty-three percent of all high school students in Los Angeles have smoked marijuana (MISTAKE, MISTAKE, MISTAKE. SHOULD BE FILED UNDER FUN OR REALLY FUN OR REALLY REALLY REALLY FUN).
In 1937, Clifford Clinton, a leading critic of LA mayor Frank Shaw, has his house bombed. Harry Raymond, an investigator looking into Clinton’s claims of corruption in the mayor’s office, has his car bombed. Both men survive, but are gravely wounded. LAPD officers later confess to the bombings, which were carried out at the behest of the mayor.
He kisses her lips her neck runs his hands through her hair down her back along her side his hands go up her shirt, up her shirt. He fumbles she laughs he’s embarrassed up her shirt he fumbles she takes off his shirt kisses his neck his chest she takes his hands in her hands kisses them she kisses his hands.
They’re in his room. His mother is away. She went to visit a friend in Palm Springs who lives on a golf course and belongs to a tennis club and has a cook and a maid and four gardeners all Mexican. She left an hour after breakfast, Doug left just after breakfast, he went to a comic book store and spent two hours in the new releases section and came back when he was sure his mother was gone. Esperanza didn’t know he was coming back. She was dusting a dresser getting ready to wipe down the windowsills when he walked in with a bouquet of roses, perfect blooming deep red roses, dew on the petals, perfect red. He offered them to her and she smiled and walked to him and put her arms around him and started kissing him and he dropped the flowers and they kissed, kissed and he pulled away and he smiled and he spoke.
We have two days.
She smiled, spoke.
You sure?
Yeah.
What do you want to do?
What do you want to do?
Don’t answer my question with a question.
We could pretend this is our house. Pretend we live here.
You do.
I mean, like, live here as a couple.
I can’t stay the night.
We’ll pretend during the day.
If your mother comes home and the house isn’t clean she’ll go crazy on me.
I’ll hire someone to do the house.
They won’t know the routine.
Are you scared?
Yes.
I’m not going to hurt you.
I know.
You don’t have to be scared.
I am.
Want to know something?
What?
I’m scared too. I’m really scared.
You don’t have to be.
I have a hot chick that actually likes me. I don’t want to fuck it up.
I’m not a hot chick.
Sure are.
No.
Yeah you are, and now I gotta figure out how not to fuck it up.
You won’t.
She kissed him again it was a long deep kiss, his hands started running along her back, the sides of her body, they were both awkward, inexperienced, insecure. He pulled away, smiled, spoke.
You wanna go somewhere else?
The basement.
We’ve been making out in the basement for a month.
It’s safe.
Let’s go to my room.
Why?
It’s my room. We’ll have a bed.
If I say stop you have to promise me you will.
I promise.
She kissed him again pulled away picked up the flowers. He took her hand and led her to his room. She went to his bathroom filled the sink with lukewarm water and set the stems of the roses in the water, leaving the blossoms out. She walked back into his room and he was fiddling with the CD player. He turned and smiled and spoke.
What kind of music do you like?
I like traditional Mexican music and I like light hits.
I love light hits. And I love metal too, really loud, really fast and really heavy.
She smiled.
Light hits, please.
I’ll play the metal later.
She laughed and he put on James Taylor and she walked towards him and they fell to his bed, they fell. They kissed, their teeth banging, they fumbled with each other’s shirts. They rolled awkwardly across the mass of sheets and blankets, her on top, him on top, her again. She took off his glasses dropped them on the floor. He unbuttoned her uniform she stopped him when he tried to take it off. He reached for the hooks of her bra she stopped him. He grunted as he kissed her he was nervous, anxious. She wanted him but couldn’t let herself go she vacillated between dominating him and timidity. He kissed her neck she pushed him away any mark and she’d lose her job. She kissed his neck when she started to move away he pulled her back and said more, more. They kept kissing, the edges of their lips chafed he ran his hands up her legs she stopped him. Kissing. He tried again she stopped him again. Kissing. Again she stops him. For an hour they have been kissing. He tries again, she stops him, pulls away, speaks.
No.
Why?
Because.
I love them.
No.
Please.
I won’t go higher.
No.
He moves to the edge of the bed, puts his feet on the floor.
Come here.
Why?
He reaches out to her.
Come here.
She takes his hand, moves to the edge of the bed, sits next to him. He gets off the bed and on his knees in front of her. Her gray dress is at her knees her black socks are on he looks in her eyes deep brown and he puts his hands on her ankles. He smiles, speaks.
They’re nice.
She smiles. He moves his hands up to her calves, speaks.
Very nice.
She smiles again he moves his hands to her knees, his fingers around the front, his thumbs in the hollow behind, he speaks.
Beautiful knees.
She keeps smiling. He rubs the back of her knees and tickles her and speaks.
Really beautiful.
She laughs, he’s still looking into her eyes.
These are the type of knees that could ruin a man.
Oh yeah?
Definitely.
He moves his hands up.
And these.
Up.
These are the most beautiful lower thighs in the world.
He smiles eyes locked.
Unbelievable.
She’s scared, his hands on them, around them.
Unbelievable.
They stare at each other she puts her hands on top of his hands. They’re just below her skirt-line at the point where her flesh flares out, where her thighs begin to take shape. Their hands together their eyes locked. She’s scared. He speaks.
You can trust me.
I know.
I’m not going to hurt you.
I know.
I love them.
I know.
Into each other’s eyes. Their hands start to move slowly up. He smiles, she breathes deeply, a nervous timid smile. Skirt starts to rise, flesh reveals itself. Into each other’s eyes hands slowly moving, going where no one has gone before, where she has never allowed anyone to go. In this house in Pasadena. A rich white man from a prominent family on his knees in front of a lower-middle-class Mexican-American girl who pretends she’s an immigrant so she can take the bus to clean his mother’s house. Her hands on his hands. They are staring into each other’s eyes. He’s smiling and she breathes deeply, deeply, breathes. The skirt is rising the flesh showing itself the skin is lighter than the skin on her hands, arms, feet, lighter than the skin on her face. He spreads his fingers across presses them into, he smiles and she breathes deeply, he speaks.
You’re beautiful.
She smiles.
They’re beautiful.
Hands moving up, into flesh.
You’re the greatest most wonderful best-looking woman I’ve ever met.
They stare into each other’s eyes.
I love you.
She smiles.
I love you and them and I love kissing you and I love holding you and I love our time together, it’s been the best time of my life.
Hands moving up skirt rising exposed she smiles and breathes deeply fully exposed she smiles and she speaks.
I love you too.
Their hands together.
I love you too.
Where no one, no one, their hands, her flesh, no one, staring, smiling. As he starts to stand, the door behind him opens. Their eyes move apart he turns around his mother is standing there she’s holding her purse in one hand the other open. She speaks.
You dirty Mexican whore.
He speaks.
What are you doing here, Mom?
She steps forward.
What are you doing here, Doug? That really is the question isn’t it?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH THIS DIRTY LITTLE MEXICAN WHORE.
Doug turns around, faces his mother. Esperanza quickly stands brushes her skirt down. Mrs. Campbell steps forward.
You cunt.
Be quiet, Mom.
She steps forward.
You dirty little cunt how dare you touch my son.
She steps forward and before Doug can respond Mrs. Campbell slaps Esperanza. Doug tries to intervene and she slaps her again drawing her nails across Esperanza’s face. Esperanza recoils, Mrs. Campbell starts screaming.
WHORE. WHORE. WHORE.
She hits her again, Doug tries to pull her away, she slips away from him.
DIRTY WHORE.
Hits her again.
MEXICAN PIECE OF SHIT WHORE.
Esperanza breaks and starts sobbing. Doug grabs his mother’s shoulders.
HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH.
Doug pulls his mother away, she kicks at Esperanza, who is sobbing curled into a ball, screams at her.
YOU DIRTY LITTLE MEXICAN SLUT.
Esperanza sees her chance and runs for the door.
I’LL HAVE YOU SENT BACK TO YOUR MUDHUT YOU WHORE.
Runs.
WHORE, WHORE, WHORE.
Runs.
Through the house sobbing to the basement sobbing out of the house sobbing she can hear Mrs. Campbell screaming.
Runs.
In 1941, Los Angeles County’s second large-scale water conveyance project, the 245-mile-long Colorado River Aqueduct, is finished. It carries water from Lake Havasu in Arizona across the Mojave Desert and into southern California, and its delivery capacity is over a billion gallons a day. It replaces the Los Angeles Aqueduct as the primary supplier of water to the City and the County of Los Angeles.
Old Man Joe on the beach with Ugly Tom, Al from Denver, Four Toes Tito and two other men, Smoothie, who sleeps under the awning of a smoothie shack, and Lemonade, who, as an unshakeable optimist, often uses the phrase—Making lemonade out of lemons. Though fires are illegal on the beach, they’re sitting around a small fire made with garbage and lumber scrounged from dumpsters, a couple are cooking cans of food over it. Drinking and sleeping are also illegal on the beach, they’re all drinking and a couple will later sleep in the sand, most likely by the fire, with alcohol in hand.
They’re having a War Council. Joe has approached each of them asked them to help him help Beatrice. None of them initially wanted to help him, except Lemonade, who said hell yes, Joe, I’m ready to help you be successful as you want to be. In order to coax them into it, Joe has offered them all free food and booze, which he has no idea how he will afford. Right now he’s more worried about his plan, which he is trying to explain to them. He speaks.
We’re gonna get weapons, bottles or pieces of lumber, and we’ll steal some garbage can tops to use as shields…
Al from Denver interrupts him.
Shields?
Joe speaks.
Yeah.
Al speaks.
This ain’t the Middle Ages.
Joe speaks.
You don’t have to carry one, okay?
Al speaks.
Okay.
Lemonade speaks.
I love shields, Joe. I’ll carry one.
Four Toes speaks.
Me too.
Smoothie.
Me three.
Ugly Tom.
I’ll carry one if I get more liquor.
Joe takes a deep breath.
Everyone but Al gets shields. Once we’re armed. We’ll get some dirt and camouflage ourselves.
Al.
Fuck that.
Lemonade.
Love camo.
Joe.
Nobody has to do it if they don’t want to, but the mission will be more effective with it.
Ugly Tom.
Roger.
Smoothie.
Roger that.
Joe.
Then we’ll divide into three teams of two. One team will walk along the edge of the beach, one down the boardwalk, one down the alley.
Lemonade.
I would like to be on your team, Joe.
Joe.
Sounds good.
Smoothie.
What about me, Lemonade?
Lemonade.
There are other choices, all great choices.
Ugly Tom.
I’ll go with you, Smoothie.
Four Toes.
Looks like it’s you and me, Al.
Al.
Fuck.
So we have the teams. We sneak down there. When someone sees those bastards, you whistle.
Al.
Don’t know how.
Tito.
I do.
Smoothie.
I’m scared of whistles.
Lemonade.
How can you be scared of whistles?
Smoothie.
Childhood thing. Don’t want to talk about it.
Old Man Joe.
Make some noise, a whistle, maybe a hoot, something. Whenever someone makes the noise, the other teams move towards them. When we meet up, we’ll surround the three and take the girl.
Al from Denver.
And do what with her?
Joe.
Get her help.
Four Toes.
What if they fight back?
Joe.
That’s why we have weapons and shields.<
br />
Ugly Tom.
I don’t want to actually use them.
Joe.
We might have to.
Lemonade.
I predict an easy victory. Sort of like the Shock and Awe thing the president did.
Smoothie.
I’ll take the back. In case any of them run through you guys and try to get away.
Joe.
They’re bullies. Bullies always crumble when they’re confronted. We just have to stay united, work as a team.
Ugly Tom.
Teamwork.
Al.
Teamwork.
Four Toes.
Teamwork.
Smoothie.
Teamwork.
Lemonade.
Love teamwork.
Joe.
Let’s go.
They stand Joe kicks out the fire. They walk to Speedway start looking for weapons they walk up and down the walk-streets looking for garbage can tops. They meet at Joe’s bathroom they are all armed. They walk down to the strip of grass that runs along the boardwalk find a palm tree with a small circle of dirt at its base. They rub the dirt on their necks, faces, arms, they’re camouflaged! Joe looks everyone over, makes sure everyone is ready, speaks.
Time for battle.
Lemonade cheers.
WOOHOO!!!
Joe.
Let’s split up and start making our way down the boardwalk. They usually hang out in the grass by the parking lot at the end of Rose, but I’ve also seen them in the alley behind the Sunshine Café and I’ve seen them sleeping on the sand.
Smoothie.
I’m nervous.
Joe.
We all are.
Ugly Tom.
What if they’re not together?
Joe.
They’re always together.
Al from Denver.
What if the girl’s not with them?
Joe.
She’s always with them.
Four Toes Tito.
If they have liquor can we take it?
Joe.
If there’s a bottle of Chablis, I get it.
They all laugh. Joe speaks.
Let’s go.
They split up Lemonade and Old Man Joe, Ugly Tom and Smoothie, Al from Denver and Four Toes Tito and they start making their way north making their way towards Joe’s enemies. Lemonade and Joe take the boardwalk, Ugly Tom and Smoothie take the beach, and Al and Tito take Speedway Alley. As they start off, Lemonade takes Joe’s arm, looks him in the eye, speaks.