“Sure,” she said, wiping at her eyes. “It was just so emotional—seeing all the work done and so many people turn out.”
“It’s far from done. There are ornaments and trim still to do. The official lighting is tomorrow night, after the rest of it’s decorated. It takes half the town to get it done.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “You’re going to love it. Too bad the boys can’t stay for that.”
That evening Preacher served up a fantastic pot of turkey soup and it seemed to Becca there were more than the usual number of people stopping by the bar, probably curious about the tree. The temperature dropped and the snow fell gently and she loved the sound of people stomping the snow off their boots on the front porch. Dinner was barely over when Rich pulled his chair closer to hers.
“You sure this is what you want me to do, Becca? Leave you here and go home?”
For a second, she wore a shocked expression. How had she managed not to think about Rich and his buddies leaving? Now that he was, she felt oddly vulnerable. But determined. “I’ll be fine,” she said.
“If you need me to stay and bring you home at the end of the week, I’ll stay. I’ll call in to work, tell them you were hurt and I’m stuck here with you.”
She shook her head. “You know I’ll be fine with Denny. He would never do anything to hurt me. He said he’ll drive me home.”
“Well, that’s just it, Becca. He’d never do anything on purpose, but you two were like oil and water there for a while. It didn’t work too well for you and Denny. You were real…” He hung his head briefly. “While he was in the sandbox, you were hurting all over the place. I felt like it was kind of my fault—I was the one who hooked you up in the first place.” He squeezed her hand tenderly, something Rich never did. “I don’t want to see you go through something like that again.”
“Wow,” she said in a whisper. “I didn’t think you even noticed.”
“I didn’t say anything,” he said, shrugging, “because I didn’t know what to say, for one thing. I didn’t know how to make it better. And I couldn’t say anything to Denny until he got back from Afghanistan—you don’t go telling a fighting Marine his at-home life is all a wreck. But yeah, I noticed. And then you started to get a little better…”
She smiled at him. “A little, huh?”
“You went from being crushed to being pissed. It was an improvement.”
“Aww. Our problems had nothing to do with you. It wasn’t your fault. Then I met Doug and—”
“Here’s the thing, Becca. You have to tell Mom and Dad where you are and who’s taking responsibility for you. And you have to tell them how you got here—that I didn’t have much of a choice.”
She stiffened indignantly. “Excuse me, but I’m taking responsibility for myself. Denny’s giving me a place to stay, but I’m twenty-five and I’m—”
He was shaking his head. “I’m leaving you and going home because Denny said he’d look out for you. I know you’re all grown up, but he’s your ex. And you know how Mom feels about your ex. You have to tell her. And you have to do it tomorrow, because when she asks me about you, I’m not going to lie to her. I kind of feel like she can still ground me or take away my truck or something.”
That made her grin. Really, Rich’s relationship with that truck was funny.
“Okay. I was going to, anyway.”
“Have you told Doug?”
“Mostly,” she said with a shrug. “I told him I was hunting with you….”
Rich sucked in his breath. “Okay, I don’t want to know any more about this. You kept it from Mom and Dad, you kept the important parts from Doug, Denny’s the one I’m leaving in charge…” He groaned.
“I’m going to tell everyone everything, but right now, I’m still here because I have a broken ankle.”
“At least promise to call Mom. Before I get home and she puts the screws to me.”
“For goodness’ sake, you’re twenty-five! You build bridges! Why are you so nervous about our mother?”
“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head. “I hate it when she’s pissed at me.” He ran a big meaty hand over his face. “You sure you’re going to be all right if I leave you?”
She nodded. “I’m sure. I think this worked out just the way it’s supposed to.”
“And your ankle doesn’t hurt too much anymore?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Okay, one more thing, Becca. If anything happens and you need me, will you call me?”
“Huh? Richie, you never act like this!”
“Yeah,” he said, running a hand around the back of his neck. “I know you think you’re the boss, the big sister, but it really bothers me to see you upset. I do care about you, you know.” He grimaced. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”
She put her fingers over her mouth to cover her laugh.
“If you’re sure, I gotta go. I’m leaving early in the morning—I have work on Monday.”
“Yeah. Go,” she said. “And hey, Rich? Thanks. That was a real nice brother-thing to do.”
“Yeah? Well, don’t get used to it.” He stood up. “Call me if you have a problem. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Jack and Preacher said they’d be looking out for you, too.”
“Thanks.”
He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “See ya in a week or so.”
“Drive carefully.”
Because Rich needed to be on the road by about 4:00 a.m. to make the drive to San Diego in just one long day, he left the bar early. Dirk and Troy didn’t have as far to go the next day—Sacramento was approximately a five-hour drive. Denny made sure Becca was settled in his apartment, then drove out to the Riordan cabins to hang out with his friends.
Becca had been asleep awhile when he finally came in. It was almost midnight. She kept her eyes squeezed shut while he undressed in the semidark. She was afraid a mere glimpse of him undressed might blow her mind. She held stock-still while he rustled around on his blow-up mattress. Seemed like he flipped around for a long time before she said, “Everything all right, Denny?”
“Huh?”
“You sound real restless,” she said. “You okay?”
“Just getting comfortable,” he said.
“Why don’t I sleep on that thing tonight so you can get a good night’s sleep in your own bed,” she offered.
“I’ll be fine in a second. This bed is good.”
“I don’t mind at all….”
“Shh,” he said. “Go back to sleep.”
But she was completely conscious of his presence. She inhaled deeply; she could smell him and he was divine. She wanted to put her arms around him, hold him, kiss him, taste him… She had missed him so.
Becca had absolutely no idea where they might go from this point, but one thing was glaringly obvious to her—she had to come clean with Doug. She wouldn’t cheat; she wouldn’t mislead. And she couldn’t leave Doug believing they were quickly moving toward a permanent commitment when, in fact, she was trying to figure out what her relationship was with her ex-boyfriend.
Which meant there were going to be two very uncomfortable phone calls in the morning.
Becca dreamed about the day she met Denny. On a weekend pass from Camp Pendleton, Rich brought Denny over for dinner with their parents. Becca was home from college for the weekend.
They locked eyes and that was just about it. He grinned at her and she smiled at him. Rich said, “Oh, crap! I should have known something like this would happen!”
From that moment on, if they were in the same room, they were touching. They abandoned Rich and went off to be alone together. They talked on the phone daily, sometimes several times a day. There was passion between them almost instantly. They talked about everything in life; they could go from hysterical laughter to serious heat in seconds.
When they made love for the first time, it was perfect. That first time they were a little clumsy, but utterly intoxicated with each
other’s bodies. By the time they’d made love a few times, they were absolute experts. Denny taught her about men; he told her nothing was easier than satisfying a guy, so encouraged her to help him concentrate on pleasing her. He put her at ease; he inspired her trust. While she felt inexperienced and awkward, he treated her like a goddess. Every time they made love was better than the time before.
She woke up at dawn, her eyes misting over with memories, with longing.
She heard the shower running in the little efficiency and was grateful. She needed a little time to compose herself. By the time he came out of the bathroom, she was ready to face him. She did have to concentrate to keep from staring at his naked chest.
“Want me to take you to breakfast with Dirk and Troy?” he asked.
“Are they leaving right away?”
“We planned to meet at Jack’s for breakfast first.”
“Why don’t you go ahead while I dress. I think I’d better make a couple of phone calls before sliding down the stairs.”
He pulled on his sweater, boots and jacket. “If you want help, call Jack’s and I’ll come back for you.”
“Thanks,” she said with a wan smile.
He frowned slightly. “You okay, Becca?”
“I’ll be down shortly.” She turned the bedside clock toward her. It was still early on Sunday morning—with any luck, she wouldn’t have to just leave voice mails. “Go on now. Let me get going.”
Once he’d gone, she dove right in. She called her mother’s cell phone first. “Hey,” she said when Beverly Timm answered. “How was Cabo?”
“How is Cabo, you mean. Glorious! It’s the best idea I’ve had in years! We’re going to be on our way to the airport in a couple of hours, home by late afternoon. And how is Cape Cod?”
“Well, that’s why I’m calling. At the last minute, I changed my mind and I came to Virgin River with Rich. To hunt.”
“You what?” Beverly asked, sounding genuinely confused.
“Okay, I didn’t change my mind about Cape Cod at the very last minute, but almost. I wanted to see Denny.”
Dead silence answered her, so she hurried on.
“I had the sense that Doug was getting serious,” Becca said. “I needed to be sure this was resolved somehow, this traumatic thing between me and Denny. I knew it wouldn’t be fair to either me or Doug to try to move ahead with our relationship if there was unfinished business. I had to know.”
“Resolved? What does that mean?”
“I’m not sure,” Becca said. “In the past? No hard feelings? Over and time to finally really move on? I don’t know, Mom. I just know that, even though I was with Doug, I still found myself wondering what happened between me and Denny. I don’t want that. I don’t want to wonder.”
“And, did you go up to that little town and throw yourself at him?” Beverly asked somewhat bitterly.
“Not at all. However, I did throw myself out of Rich’s truck and break my ankle. I have a splint and crutches. In fact, I had a surgical procedure and then a splint. And now Rich is on his way home, while I’m stuck here for another week. Denny said he’d drive me home after the doctor takes the stitches out.”
Silence again. “All right, let me get this right,” Beverly finally said. “You went to Virgin River to see Denny, while we thought you were with Doug, and now you have a broken ankle and can’t come home with your brother?”
“Well, Rich does have to work tomorrow. He couldn’t hang around any longer.”
“Becca, for the love of God! What are you thinking?”
She took a breath. “I’m thinking, this is the rest of my life. I’m not taking any chances. I’m not going to spend years wondering or brooding over a man who abandoned me and I’m not going to move forward with a man I’m not sure is the right one for me. That’s what I’m thinking. That some things have to be complete.”
“And is this thing with Denny complete?” her mother asked, her voice heavy with sarcasm.
“I will tell you this—we’ve made a little progress. I now understand some of the things he was going through when he left for Afghanistan. Things I never would have known if I hadn’t made this trip.”
“And does he understand some of the things he put you through?”
“What’s more important to me, Mom, is that we all get past the hurts so we can go forward.”
“But, Becca, you’re too different,” Beverly said. “You were never really right for each other. You come from completely different backgrounds and families. You and Doug seem such a good fit—your families are similar, you have both parents and siblings, you both went to college, you have similar interests. And unless there’s something you haven’t told me, Doug has never treated you badly. I knew right away that Doug was much more appropriate for you.”
“You’ve used that word before, I think. Appropriate.”
“The minute I met him, I knew—this is more the type of man I expected you to attract. To marry. You have similar goals. His family is stable. Successful.”
“Funny. Doug said something very similar….”
“See there?” Beverly said.
“He said, ‘Becca, you’re the kind of woman who looks like the wife of a lawyer.’”
“There you go. Really, there should be no question. You’ve been with Doug for a year! You and Denny broke up a long time ago. Why didn’t you just come home with Rich?” she asked.
“Because the doctor was against the idea,” she said. “Too long a drive, danger of swelling under the splint or even blood clots. I’ll see the doctor on Friday. Denny said he’d drive me home, but of course, I can always catch a flight.”
“And you’re staying where?”
“In Denny’s apartment.”
“Oh, my God,” she said weakly.
Becca laughed in spite of herself. “It’s one-room over a garage, an efficiency. He’s letting me use it.”
“And where is he staying? Never mind, I don’t want to know. Becca, this is a huge mistake. Doug might never understand! Who would expect him to?”
“Mom, I didn’t do this so that Doug could understand. I did this in hopes that I might finally understand. Like I said, this is the rest of my life. I intend to be sure.”
Nine
Oddly enough, that conversation with her mother made telling Doug what she was doing all that much easier. She couldn’t count the number of times Beverly had openly said, with great relief, He’s so much more right for you! But today was the first time she put that statement with Doug’s. You’re the right kind of woman to be married to a lawyer or even a senator.
Doug was a very careful planner. He’d been aiming for his father’s legal firm since he started in pre-law. He chose his fraternity carefully; he wanted the right political connections to be strong. He came from good Northeastern stock. He had aspirations to make a lot of money in law and perhaps enter politics. Yes, he’d been good to her. But she couldn’t shake the notion that he might be choosing his future wife like a man might chose a horse.
He answered sleepily. “I woke you,” she said.
“It’s pretty early,” he said.
“Well, I had to use the phone when I could. I need to talk to you about something very important—can you think straight? Doug, Rich left this morning and I’m still here, on my crutches.”
“Uh-huh,” he said, and yawned.
“Here’s what I didn’t tell you but I have to tell you now—and I’m sorry it’s over the phone. Believe me, if it weren’t for the broken ankle, I’d be talking to you face-to-face. What I didn’t tell you is, one of the reasons I decided to come with Rich is because my ex-boyfriend, the one I broke up with three years ago, is here.”
He yawned again. “Very funny, Becca.”
“No, Doug. I’m not joking. See, I began to get the feeling you and I were getting serious. Moving real close to that forever territory. You’ve been talking about marriage and graduating from law school and moving back East and—”
“
Eventually,” he said. “But we agreed that possibility is right out there, after law school. What’s he got to do with us?”
“Not with us, Doug. With me. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, but so many times I wondered what really happened. When I looked back on the whole thing, I was never really sure if I was just an idiot who didn’t get it or if we were two people who’d never been right for each other in the first place. And I needed to be sure before moving forward with you.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he said. “Didn’t not hearing from him in years give you a hint? That’s your answer, right there.”
“But I did hear from him. I told you that,” she said. “He came back from the Marines and asked for another chance, but I was so angry, I sent him away. That was right before I met you. Listen, I know this is asking a lot, for you to understand this, but I have to figure out a few things about the past before I can make a smart decision about the future. If there’s even one small question… Ten years from now, I don’t want to find myself a wife and mother, asking myself if I did the right thing. I don’t know if men do this, but sometimes women will romanticize the one that got away, the one they can’t have, and it can stir up all kinds of trouble. All I want to know is that our breakup, painful as it was, was absolutely the right thing to do.”
He gave a bark of laughter. “Women,” he said derisively. “So, you’ve been there for a week. That should’ve given you plenty of time to answer that one small question. Were you right to send him away? What’s it going to be, Becca?”
“Doug, I’ve learned that we were pretty confused and screwed up. I think I understand how we ended up hurting each other so badly. His mother’s death really took its toll. Unlike you and me, he didn’t have any other family anywhere and—”
“So,” he said, cutting her off. “You two are putting it back together now?”
“No, we’ve only talked about what happened to him. We haven’t even gotten around to what happened to me. And I told him I have a boyfriend.”
“He must find it pretty interesting that you’re there, with him, and not with your boyfriend,” Doug said. “This is asking a little much, don’t you think?”