Chapter Twenty-Two
Deeta
Jan turns to greet her, but my gaze lingers for a second on Ryder. I see his hand wander to his collar, and then he reaches forward for his glass of champagne. Bringing the beverage swiftly to his lips he drains the entire glass.
With Mari are Tina, Jennet, Fay, and Jojo.
“Did you enjoy your dinner?” asks Jennet. Her voice is low and husky, deeper than is usual of a girl, but very attractive.
“It was delicious, thank you.”
“Mother tells us she gave you a bit of a scare yesterday morning.”
“Fay, stop it.” Tina elbows her sister, knocking her a little off balance.
There was nothing spiteful in Fay’s remark, only amusement.
“That’s right, she did. I freaked out and ran to wake Deeta up, and we both crept down stairs armed with a vase. It was pretty embarrassing as both of us wearing nothing more than our nightshirts!”
“I wish I’d been there.”
Jennet chokes into her glass, but Ryder continues to play with the corner of his napkin, not seeming to notice the sudden hushed silence.
“To sort out the misunderstanding,” he continues smoothly.
“You have very pretty hair.”
I look down at Mari’s youngest daughter, glad of the distraction.
“Thank you, Jojo; you have nice hair too, it’s just like…” I bite my tongue. I had been going to say just like Dec. “It’s very pretty and so long!”
Jojo blushes, and giggles bashfully.
“I saw Nova came to be introduced, Rye?” Despite her calm voice I can see the strain in Mari’s eyes.
“Not at all; they were already acquainted, so it was more of a reunion.”
I feel warm fingers slide into my hand and look down, surprised to see Jojo looking up at me with sympathetic eyes.
“Poor, Deeta; did she make you cry?”
Behind her I see her sisters stiffen.
‘No, actually as I remember she said that I was charming.”
Jojo looks very surprised.
“That’s odd; she’s not usually nice. She’s always making Fay and Tina cry, and she really wouldn’t like you both because you have such lovely hair.” She leans towards me conspiratorially. “She has to get hers done to look that way you see; bleached.”
“Jojo!” Mari’s hand comes down on the girls shoulder, and I see a sudden hunted expression come into Jojo’s eyes. “That is not a topic of general interest. Fay and Tina will take you back to our table for dessert, and then it will be time for bed. Go on now.”
Jojo's protestations are only half hearted, and she quickly resigns herself to her fate.
“Good night, Uncle Rye.”
Ryder leans forwards to accept her embrace and Jojo stands on tip toe, whispering something in his ear.
“I’ll see what I can do, mush.” He laughs, and Jojo plants a kiss on his cheek before hurrying from the table.
“I don’t know what to do with her sometimes! The things that she comes out with!” sighs Mari. “I’d better get her home; she’s obviously in a confiding mood tonight, and goodness only knows what she’ll say next.”
“She’s without guile,” answers Ryder, a half smile on his lips. “And before I forget; I told her I’d do my best to get her off the hook.”
“Is that what she was asking you?”
“Leave her as she is, Mari, she’s a good kid.”
“And you’re just a great big softy,” replies Mari laughing. “But I won’t read her a lecture, see you all later.”
I don’t really hear her good bye, but sit staring at the floor feeling dazed and uncertain. Even when Ryder stands and leads Jan on to the dance floor it doesn’t register properly.
I had expected so much more. After all the hype, all the warnings that we have been given, I had expected something… cataclysmic. It shows the difference between our society at home and the society here so sharply. It reminds me of something Catalina had said; that with a larger tribe there was more leisure time, she had said that that leisure time was spent ‘for the bad and not the good’. I hadn’t known what she had meant then, but I do now.
The Andak women who have paid for their position here have nothing to occupy them, therefore the most ridiculous things have become important to them. They spend all their time obsessing over being the queen bee, over the Andak men, and over their looks. These three things are the only things that hold any importance to them, because everything else is done for them. They have maids to keep house for them, to cook and clean for them, to cater for their every whim. They’re bored and devote all their time and energy to catty one-upmanship.
This elegant Eden of theirs, the wonderful compound that they take for granted, fills me with an odd sort of sadness. I wonder how they do it; how can they live in luxury, and spare no thought for the hoards of tribes outside their compound. There are so many people in the City to whom every day is a struggle for survival, a toss between life and death. How can the Andak be so unfeeling, so uncaring of the suffering that goes on outside the walls of this haven?
How dare they have the cheek to complain about anything?
How can they dedicate all their energy to putting others down and so they can feel good about themselves, when so much weightier matters, the suffering of so many, is not even given a seconds thought?
It’s all rather pathetic to see the brilliant exterior of everything about the Andak, and then to find out that beneath the beautiful and highly polished façade is a rotten core. Yet I remember that first day on the steps of the town hall Ryder had been conscious of his deficiency. He’d been ashamed and regretful that to him this beautiful place was only normal and what he was used to. Still, he had seen the world outside and knew he had much to be grateful for.
It seems a strange contradiction; the Andak seem to have so little thought for the other tribes, yet Tom had said that they protected the City from the Lewises and the threat of an invasion.
Without warning everything comes rushing back to me. The reason we are here, the danger that hangs over us like thick gloom, and the tightrope of trust that we are walking on so unwillingly. On the dance floor I see Ryder and Jan waltzing among the other couples; Andak men and women, Andak brothers. It all looks so refined, so civilised; yet one of them is a killer. For all I know, it could be the very man who has my youngest sister in his arms.
It would be so much easier if Ryder didn’t remind me of Tom sometimes. It knocks me so horribly off beam. When Jojo had kissed him it could have been Tom sitting there. In general Ryder’s features are faintly sardonic and mocking, qualities I’ve never seen in Tom, but as he was speaking to Jojo both expressions had disappeared to be replaced by amusement and ruefulness. Tom looks just like that when he knows that one of the children is trying to wheedle something out of him.
How easy it would be to put my trust in him completely. Isn’t that what I have been doing ever since we sat down to dinner? Yet I know I can’t carry on the same way. My stay here may have been short, but one thing has been impressed on my mind with searing clarity. Even if Ryder Andak is not the traitor that we need to suspect him to be, he is Andak; therefore he has his own agenda. Goodness only knows what that could be.
“Deet?” Jan’s voice holds a worried inflection and I look up, somewhat surprised to see her standing there. She’s looking warily from Ryder to me, a hint of trepidation in her expression.
“What? What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I was wondering if you would care to dance?” Ryder’s voice is stiff, and I have the horrible feeling that it’s not the first time he has spoken those particular words to me.
“That would be lovely, thank you.”
I place my hand in his and, as he pulls me to my feet, he addresses Jan with a smile.
“Don’t talk to strangers.”
We wend our way between the tables, and I try to ignore the fact that everyone is watching us.
“Yo
u’re blushing.”
“It must be the heat.”
Ryder passes his arm around my waist, pausing for a moment before taking his first step in time with the music. For a few seconds I am too preoccupied following his lead to notice anything very much about the experience. By and by I register that he dances well, in a similar style to Tom, but without Tom’s relaxation. I have a feeling that he isn’t enjoying himself, a feeling I never have with Tom. His hand feels icy cold through the fabric of my dress; Tom’s hands are always warm.
“Are you enjoying yourself?”
I detect a note of dislike in his voice, and it stills any feeling of remorse at the bluntness of my reply.
“No, I’m not.” I meet his eyes frankly. “Neither are you.”
“Well, I don’t enjoy the company of people who are bigoted and ignorant.”
In my mind’s eye I see my hand connect with his face, jerking it sideways, and leaving a satisfying red mark. For a second I’m tempted to play out the scene in reality, but seconds pass and find me obediently moving with him across the floor, all my interest apparently taken up by his bow tie.
“Not much like your sister, are you? She wouldn’t have let that pass without an act of violence.” His tone implies that she is worth several hundred of me crystal clearly. I can’t deny the fact that I am conscious of a slight feeling of hurt.
“Have you nothing to say?”
“I’d like to see Dec please.” I keep my voice carefully neutral, wishing to give him no more cause for hard words.
“I haven’t decided if it would be wise to let you see him.”
“I’ll not tell you where Tom is until I have seen, with my own eyes, that Dec is safe.”
He stiffens, and his hand falls from my waist.
“I see. Very well; we’ll do this your way.”
With obvious control he politely offers me his arm. A little taken back, I tuck my hand through his. I hadn’t expected him to take my ultimatum so well. We move past the other couples on the dance floor, down the steps of the pavilion, and through the park towards the town hall.
The second we are out of sight of the pavilion, his hand closes vice like on my upper arm, pulling me after his striding figure at a run. The only time we pause is at the door of the town hall so that he can slip his key card into the sensor, but at no point does he speak.
Finally we come to a stop. In the dark I hadn’t known where we were heading, for a moment I actually believed that he was going to drag me right out into the City, so that I might take him then and there to Tom. However, he has brought me back to the holding room that was the first thing that I ever saw in this place.
“What are we doing here?”
Before the words are fully out of my mouth, he has thrown me against the wall. I stand, my hands either side of me, the breath knocked from my body and my head smarting where it came into contact with the hard surface of the wall. I gaze at Ryder Andak from frightened eyes, thinking that I’ve never seen anyone so angry before. In the half light of the dim room his eyes burn with rage, but his face is horribly white. He retreats, hands clenched, behind the desk. It’s as though he can’t trust himself to be any closer to me.
“I don’t believe it.” He shakes his head. “I almost, very almost, believed you! I told myself that you were lying to me about Tom, about everything, but I still can’t believe I was right!”
His eyes rake over me in disgust, and when he next speaks his voice is filled with so much loathing, my flesh crawls.
“You hide behind that innocent little face of yours and pretend that you care about the people of the City, but deep down inside you’re the Jezebel I always thought you!” His eyes blaze into mine across the room, and in the face of his hate I cower.
“Where is he?” The words seem to be torn from the very depths of his soul.
“I told you; I have to see Dec first—”
“No, I’ll tell you what you have to do; you have to tell me where Tommy is!”
His voice is loud and harsh, and I can’t help cringing from it as I would from a blow.
“I have to see Dec first.” My voice trembles uncontrollably, hardly more than a whisper.
“I’m not letting you anywhere near him; goodness only knows the ways that you have poisoned him already.”
“Then I’ll not tell you how to find Tom.”
“What do you think is going to happen?” asks Ryder in exasperation. “What are you trying to achieve; the destruction of what is left of your tribe?”
He slams his hand on the table, his eyes again raking over me with repulsion in their nadir.
“If you allow either me or Jan to see Dec, I’ll take you, and only you, to Tom.”
“You must think I’m mad or something. Do you really think I’m going to go goodness only knows where with you, to be met, I haven’t the slightest doubt, with an ambush? You must think I’m stupid!”
“No; I think you’re desperate,” I return quietly.
Ryder Andak’s eyes glare fiercely into mine for a few moments more. His gaze falters suddenly, and his body sags as he lowers himself into the chair behind the desk. For a long while his head remains unmoving where it rests in his hands, and the silence stretches out like a barrier between us.
“I don’t trust you.” His voice is quiet and tired. “I don’t like you, and I don’t believe you. But you’re right; I have no choice but to go with you.”
As he speaks his hand reaches out for the phone at his elbow. For a second he waits in silence, until someone answers his call.
“Mari, I want you to take Jan to see Dec. Yes, yes, I know; just take her would you?” He puts the phone back down and turns to me. “Well?”
“I can’t tell you were Tom is—”
“What? Listen to me—”
“I can’t tell you; I have to show you!”
Ryder pauses, arms ridged at his side for a moment, then his shoulders sag.
“Very well; we’ll leave tomorrow morning at six o’clock.”
His eyes are dull, filled with a kind of defeat. It’s as though he knows that I will betray him, believes that he will be captured, maybe even killed, and yet he will go along with it.
I feel helpless, so unsure. Everything I do jus seems to make things worse. I stand looking at Ryder’s sad eyes and stooped figure, and I feel a horrible weight settle on my shoulders. I know that I have changed him. I have altered his character by putting him in this position, through this experience. I feel as though I have betrayed him already.