Her back shot straight and she whispered, “You won’t allow it?”
“No,” he replied.
“But—”
“You’ll also not be going anywhere but Karsvall.”
“I—”
“And you’ll not be working at all. An Ulfr woman does not work.”
She blinked.
Then she stared.
“And you may not be of this world, but you’re an Ulfr,” he finished.
“How can I make money if I don’t work?” she asked.
“If you need anything, you ask for it. It will be provided for you,” he answered.
“But—”
“Now,” he interrupted again. “As for the children—”
It was she who interrupted this time, and she did it by snapping, “Hang on a ding-donged second.”
“Ilsa—”
“No.” She kept snapping and now she did it advancing; her hand up, finger pointing at him and jabbing the air. “You listen to me now and stop cutting me off. It’s rude.” She stopped moving and dropped her hand. “You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do; where I can go and who I can see.”
She stopped talking so he requested, “May I speak?”
“Only if you don’t piss me off when you do it,” she allowed and he really didn’t want to find her amusing.
But, damn it all, he did.
He just didn’t let it show.
“I’m afraid what I’m about to say will do that…if I take your meaning as I’ve learned what those words mean from Finnie, Cora and Circe.”
Her head tipped to the side. “Finnie, Cora and Circe?”
“Women here from your world married to men from mine.”
Her eyes got huge and that wasn’t amusing.
It was endearing.
Gods, but he’d made a colossal mistake bringing her here.
“What?” she cried.
He drew in breath and explained, “Finnie, the Ice Princess of Lunwyn, Cora, the Gracious, Princess of Hawkvale, and Circe, the warrior Queen of Korwahk, are all from your world.”
Her eyes got even bigger.
Thus more endearing.
Bloody hell.
“Cora, the Gracious is of my people?” she breathed.
“You’ve heard of her,” Apollo deduced.
She threw out a hand and exclaimed, “Hell yeah! Everyone raves about her in the Vale.”
“She’s much loved,” Apollo agreed.
“Totally,” she stated. “Holy cow. She’s from home?”
Apollo crossed his arms on his chest. “Your home, as is hers, is here now, Ilsa.”
“Well, yeah. I know,” she replied immediately. “But you know what I mean.”
“My point is, it would be good to stop thinking of the other world as home.”
She said nothing but the excited surprise drifted from her delicate features as she held his gaze.
He tried not to think that he rather enjoyed the excited surprise lighting her features and reverted to their previous subject.
“As I was saying, I’m afraid I’ll anger you with what I have to say but in this world you are a woman, you are my charge and you are an Ulfr. Further, you’re aristocracy by birth as well as marriage. Your father in Fleuridia was a count. Therefore, all around, you are an aristocrat and must behave in this world as one.”
Her tone was cautious when she asked, “I can assume it’s widely known your wife has passed.”
“It is,” he affirmed tersely.
“So everyone will know she’s not me. And anyway, if I’m not here then I don’t have to behave in any way that’s expected of me.”
“I have decided to explain your…” he paused, “appearance by saying you’re a distant cousin of Ilsa’s with an uncanny resemblance to her but you grew up in the Vale, thus you don’t know how to speak Fleuridian. You’ve come to be sheltered here due to your parents’ untimely demise and your unwed status seeing as your husband also met an untimely end.”
She took another step to him and stopped, saying, “But don’t you see, Apollo? If I just go, no explanations have to be made.”
“You’re not going, Ilsa,” he denied.
She mimicked him, crossing her arms on her chest. “I’m not staying, Apollo.”
He was losing patience, not that he had much in the first place.
“It’s not safe,” he told her curtly.
“I was on the run from Pol for three years. Yes, this world is different but I think I can take care of myself.”
“I’ll remind you that you were on the run and he found you. When first I laid eyes on you, you were not doing so well at keeping yourself safe.”
She clamped her mouth shut and he knew his point was made.
So he moved on.
“It’s my duty—” he began to continue but she interrupted him.
“I’m not a duty. I’m a person.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“And I can work and I can take care of myself. And if I can’t, frankly, that’s none of your business. I’ll deal with that too.”
He tried a new tactic and asked, “And how will you feed yourself?”
“I haven’t decided yet but it isn’t like you don’t have restaurants, pubs. I’ll get a job as a waitress.”
His brows shot together and when she saw it, for some reason, she took a step back.
But he ignored that.
“A barmaid?” he asked, his voice dripping with derision and at the sound of it, her spine straightened so quickly, it was wonder he didn’t hear it snap.
“Yes,” she hissed. “A barmaid,” she mimicked his tone then defended her questionable choice of profession. “It’s honest work.”
“You’re an Ulfr,” he reminded her.
“Yes, that’s my last name given to me by a man I now detest so it’s a name I don’t want. And the other man who has that name, I don’t like all that much. So I’ll be going back to my maiden name and no one will even know I’m an Ulfr. Which is okay by me because the time that I was,”—she leaned in— “all of it,” she stressed, her meaning clear, “I didn’t like all that much.”
He didn’t like her meaning. Not at all.
And he didn’t hesitate to take issue with it.
“Did you suffer at my men’s hands?” he asked.
“No, they were awesome. Every last one. But you haven’t been all that great.”
“Well, you can rest in the knowledge, my dove, that you won’t have to concern yourself with me,” he returned. “I’ll be away to Bellebryn the minute I drop you at Karsvall.”
“That’s fabulous news,” she replied sarcastically. “But even if I don’t have to concern myself with you, I do have to concern myself with your children.”
This time he didn’t understand her meaning, but he knew he didn’t like it.
Therefore, he whispered, “Careful, Ilsa.”
“You know, I’ve lived for over a decade being careful,” she started conversationally then leaned in again and hissed, “And I’m sick of it. I’ve also been controlled by a man for over a decade and I’m”—she leaned in further— “sick of that too.”
He uncrossed an arm to throw it toward her, sweeping it up to indicate her body, and crossing it again before he stated, “You wear fine garments. You slept in the best cabin on the ship, your passage paid by me. You slept in the finest inns and ate the finest foods that could be found during your journey. I know. I ordered it and my men follow orders precisely. You look well, healthy and rested. Everything that has been done for you since you came to this world has been done with your protection, safety and comfort in mind. And you can talk for the next four days and not convince me you have not been very comfortable for the last four months all at my expense.”
“You brought me here, asshole,” she fired back. “And left me there.” She swept an arm out in the general direction of the Winter Sea, to the north, not Fleuridia, which was to the south, and she kept talking. “And, j
ust saying, that’s how it all starts, all the good stuff with my comfort in mind. Then all the bad shit goes down that isn’t comfortable at all.”
His waning patience began to fade faster.
“I am not him, Ilsa,” he growled.
“No, but you throwing all that in my face says that you believe I’m beholden to you for giving me clothes and food and safe passage. Well, get this through your head, hot guy, you’re off the hook. Just let me go, you’ll never see me again and I won’t cost you another dime.”
“And for you to leave, you need the garments I purchased for you and a loan,” he reminded her, her head jerked and her eyes narrowed to a glare.
He had her.
He almost smiled.
Then she proved he didn’t.
“I’ll walk out of here naked, I don’t give a damn.”
He lifted one of his brows. “And die in the elements?”
“At least that’ll be my choice,” she snapped, uncrossing her arms and planting her hands on her hips.
Apollo drew in breath through his nose.
This was going too far. He had to rein it in.
He let his breath out and, in order to control their discussion, forcing calm, he stated, “We have an issue, you and I.”
“You think?” she asked sardonically.
“Let me finish,” he demanded quietly.
She took her hands from her hips and crossed them on her chest again.
He resumed speaking.
“You can’t see past him. I’m having difficulty seeing past her.”
Ilsa said nothing but a flash in her eyes indicated she agreed.
“Dark times are ahead for us all. It would take some time to explain this to you fully, but I will try to do what I can now.”
When he said no more, she nodded for him to go on and he did so.
“I know that magic is not practiced openly in your world. You may or may not know that it is here. And there are those who have amassed great amounts of power. One, in the Vale, so much she is considered a she-god.”
Her eyes widened at these words and he really wished she’d cease doing that.
With difficulty, he ignored it and kept speaking.
“And the ones of concern do not use their magic for good. Now, they have aligned themselves with a deposed ruler who no doubt has vengeance on his mind. They have also kidnapped the Cora of this world, who is not a good woman, but cold to her bones, selfish and deceitful. This is not a noble brew. They mean ill and they have the power to rain misfortune on the land, the kind of misfortune that has not ever been experienced in our world. The kind of misfortune anyone would hope would never be experienced in this world or any other.”
“Holy cow,” she breathed.
“Yes,” he agreed. “For this reason, you are not safe here without protection. You are also not safe in your world. But I would feel better and more in control of your safety if you were in my world. After we’re through this tense period, we can again discuss what your future in this world will be. But for now, I’m asking you to allow me to see to your safety. It would mean much to me to know I’ve kept you safe from him and kept you safe here as well.”
He could see by the warmth that crept into her eyes and the softness that had settled about her mouth that she was going to concede and he relaxed.
Then she didn’t concede.
“I cannot go to Karsvall,” she informed him.
“Ilsa—”
“I can’t be around your children.”
He took in another breath, and guessing at her hesitancy, he explained, “They’ve been told of you. They understand.”
She held his eyes a moment before she looked to the side.
He watched her profile and suddenly it struck him with a bolt that electrified his entire frame.
He didn’t know what she was thinking.
He couldn’t predict what would come out of her mouth. He couldn’t read the flashes in her eyes. He could barely guess at the expressions on her face.
Not like he could with his Ilsa.
She was new.
He understood she was new, he just didn’t understand she was new.
Entirely new.
Gods.
She looked back at him, right in his eyes, but her voice was so quiet he could barely hear her when she said, “I lost two babies. A boy”—she pulled in a soft breath— “and a girl.”
His gut twisted.
Oh yes, she was new.
And now he knew he’d mined some of those depths that lurked behind her eyes.
He just wished he did not know what he’d unearthed.
But more, far more, he wished those losses were not buried in her soul.
“Logically,” she continued in her quiet voice, “I understand that they are not mine. Irrationally, I’ve tried to convince myself that they aren’t what I could have had in my world. But I know with the way things are with our worlds that they are.”
“Ilsa—”
Her eyes swam with tears and she whispered, “I can’t do it. I…” She swallowed and admitted, “It would kill me.”
It was then he found his mouth saying, “Tonight you stay at The Swan and rest. Tomorrow, we’re away to Bellebryn.”
She blinked before she breathed, “What?”
“Tomorrow, we’re away to Bellebryn.”
“Tomorrow…Bellebryn…” She shook her head sharply then asked, “What do you mean we?”
“We means you and me.”
Her entire frame visibly locked tight.
“But I can’t… you can’t…” She threw out her hands. “We don’t even like each other.”
“I don’t know you enough not to like you, Ilsa,” he pointed out.
“Well, you weren’t fired up to get to know me,” she returned, the fire back in her eyes. “And the way you communicated that, I’m not your biggest fan.”
He fought his lips twitching, failed in that endeavor and her eyes narrowed on his mouth.
He felt her eyes there and he felt them elsewhere as well.
Bloody hell.
Bellebryn with Ilsa was not a good plan.
But to save her the heartache of meeting Christophe and Élan, it was his only one.
However, she would make the choice.
“You have two choices, my dove,” he shared. “Karsvall with the children or Bellebryn with me.” He began to move to the door. “You have until the morning to make the choice. I’m here at sunrise. I either take you back to my home or I take you with me.” He stopped with his hand on the doorknob, his eyes on her. “I’ll come prepared either way.”
“I…you…we can’t…that’s…” she spluttered.
“Until the morning,” he said as his farewell, opened the door, moved through it and closed it behind him.
He expected her to follow him, calling his name and pleading or spitting fire.
If he was honest, he wasn’t expecting it. He was hoping for either one, he didn’t care which. Though he was leaning toward spitting fire.
She didn’t do either.
He fought back the disappointment he knew it was unhealthy to feel, grabbed his cloak from the hook by the door and lifted his chin to Henri, the innkeeper. When Henri gave him a wave, Apollo moved out into the cold and buckled on his cloak as he headed to the stables where he’d put Torment to keep him out of the chill.
He led Torment out, mounted him and clicked his tongue against his teeth, leaning forward, digging in his heels, and Torment shot through the snow.
He rode home knowing he should be thinking about a variety of things, making plans, prioritizing conversations.
But he didn’t ride home thinking about any of that.
He did it wondering what her answer on the morrow would be.
* * * * *
As Apollo rode toward his stables, he saw Achilles strolling out of them.
He reined in Torment close to his cousin and swung off, leading the horse to his brethren.
A
chilles looked beyond him, then back at Apollo.
“Maddie is not with you,” he noted and Apollo felt his mouth tighten at the familiar name they called Ilsa.
He forced it to relax in order to say, “Indeed. She’s to stay at The Swan this eve. Dispatch fresh guards to relieve the ones at the inn.”
Achilles nodded but watched him closely, his cousin’s eyes, Apollo knew, not missing anything.
“This is a change in plans,” he remarked.
“As has been everything when it comes to Ilsa of the other world since her arrival,” Apollo returned and lifted a brow. “Four months, Achilles?”
His cousin’s lips twitched.
Apollo found nothing amusing. “You know the dangers that lurk and thus the haste that should have been made.”
“She’s difficult to deny,” Achilles replied.
Apollo was already concerned about that. The steadfast Achilles falling to her charms made him more so.
“I’m sensing this,” Apollo told him and then shared, “Derrik and I had words.”
“I was afraid of that,” Achilles murmured.
Yes. Achilles didn’t miss much.
“He will not be in her company for some time,” Apollo stated.
Again, Achilles watched him closely, but he said nothing, only nodded.
“As you noted, plans have changed,” Apollo told him. “She has some concerns about being around Christophe and Élan. I’ve given her the choice to come with me to Bellebryn tomorrow or come here.”
He ignored Achilles’ look of surprise and carried on.
“She has until sunrise to make her decision. When I leave, if I don’t return, you’ll know she chose to come with me. You’re to stay here, as is Derrik. Dispatch Remi, Laures, Hans and Draven to follow us to Bellebryn. I’ll act as her guard on the journey. They’ll look after her in Bellebryn.”
“Four months ago,” Achilles started carefully, “you did not seem keen to spend time with her, cousin.”
“She and I have had a discussion that has changed my mind.”
Achilles blew out a breath and Apollo knew what that meant.
“It’s not that way,” he assured him.
“It wasn’t that way for Derrik either, in the beginning. And you should know it wasn’t that way for Laures or Remi as well. For Derrik, it took about a week. Remi and Laures fell not long after. And I have suspicions about Hans and Gaston.”