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The birds that live in the remains of the aviary start to twitter and chirp as the sun turns the sky beyond from black to indigo to pale pink. I look at my watch. It’s six o’clock and the sun is just about to rise. It’s almost time.
I take a deep breath and lift Alex, slide out from under him, and place his head carefully back onto the bench. Standing there for a moment, I look down at him, memorizing his features one last time. Wrapped in the blanket that hides his thinness and with sleep removing the pain from his features, he looks like the boy I met in English class weeks ago, instead of the patient he’s become.
I debate whether to wake him. It might be better to just let him die in his sleep, but he specifically asked to watch his line being cut and I’ll honor that. I shake him gently. It takes a few more hard shakes to rouse him, and I know that he is almost gone. His body is just waiting for me to end the struggle.
When he finally opens his eyes, he looks around in confusion and I see the moment he registers that the sun is coming up. His eyes widen and meet mine.
“It’s time,” he whispers. Not a question. A statement.
“Almost,” I say, reaching down and taking his hand in mine. I squat down next to him. “Is there anything you want?” I ask.
“Just you,” he says. “Can you help me sit up so I can see the sunrise?”
Thinking for a second, I figure out how best to accommodate him. I drag the bench until it is perpendicular to the rock face. Then I sit down behind Alex and lean my back against the rock. Pulling him to me, I let him lean against my chest with his head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around him.
“Better?” I ask.
“Yes,” he whispers.
Together we sit there, watching the sun rise over the mountain. It would have to be perfect and beautiful. A day like today should be cloudy and depressing, not gorgeous.
Alex doesn’t say anything more, but I feel his head turn against my shoulder. I look down to find him staring up at me. Leaning down, I kiss him, lingering over it and savoring the moment. I don’t want to pull away, but my phone vibrates at my hip. I have to get ready.
I end the kiss and lean over to reach into my backpack one-handed, cradling Alex in my other arm. Pulling out the box that holds my shears and Alex’s lifeline, I place them on the bench beside me.
I open the box and gather Alex’s lifeline in my hand, then stretch it across his chest so he can see. He looks down at it and gives an involuntary jerk as he realizes that he is about to die. Thinking about the end of your life in the abstract is one thing. Seeing it lying across your chest is another.
“I can go over there, if you’d rather,” I offer, pointing to the Cowardly Lion’s den, which is almost out of view around the bend in the pathway. How fitting. Where else to go to be a coward?
He shakes his head and moves as though to reach for my hand. He’s too weak to manage and his hand flops by his side, so I take his hand in mine. He looks up at me. In his eyes, I see sadness, but also a fierce desire to meet death head on. I also see his absolute trust in me. I squeeze his hand tightly.
“Love you,” he says.
“I love you, too,” I say, the tears beginning to fall.
I don’t say that I’ll see him later or anything like that. I will never join him in death as his human family will. This separation is forever and no trite words can change that fact, so I don’t offer them.
My phone vibrates again at my hip, and I know that it is the final buzzer. Releasing his hand, I take his line in one hand and my shears in the other. Lifting his line so he can watch if he wants to, I move the open shears into position over the line.
I don’t check to see if he is, indeed, watching. I don’t want to know. I feel him stiffen in denial against me so I know he’s at least seen me get ready. Rather than prolong the inevitable, I flex my hand quickly, once, and snip his line.
Immediately, his body goes slack against mine and I know it is almost over. He isn’t dead yet, but he is dying. His brain and heart simply have to catch up to the fact that the lifeline is severed. It won’t take long.
I drop my shears to the ground, horrified by what they’ve done. By what I’ve done. Not that I ever had a choice, but I’ve never felt more like a senseless killer than I do in this moment. All the lines I’ve cut, and never once has it been personal. It’s always been mechanical and cold. Distant. Someone else’s problem. There is nothing cold or impersonal here, right now. All I feel is the heat of my anger and grief, and the coldness of Alex’s life slipping away.
Cradling the two pieces of his lifeline in my hands, I scream into the empty air, scattering the birds away from us. I scream until my vocal cords threaten to rip and then I sob, covering Alex’s face with my tears as I lean over his dying body. So absorbed am I in my grief, I don’t feel the air change or see it ripple.
“So you did the deed,” Thanatos says when he appears beside me. “I was sure you’d chicken out.”
I’m startled, but of course, I knew he would come. This is just the first time I’ve ever been present when he’s come to collect a soul. I turn my head and look at him.
“You have to wait,” I say. “He isn’t dead. You can’t have his soul yet.” This is true. I can still feel a very faint pulse in Alex’s wrist and a soft puff of breath on my cheek at odd intervals.
“I don’t wait anymore,” Thanatos says, reaching toward Alex.
“You can’t. You can’t take the soul of the dying, only the dead. He isn’t yours yet. He’s still mine.”
“No. He’s ours,” Thanatos says.
I don’t know what he’s talking about, but then I hear it. The awful rushing of wings and the cackling laughter of Ker and her army of winged nightmares. I was too distracted to notice until now, when they are all but upon me.
“You can’t,” I say again, hoping it will help, but knowing it will not. This is what Thanatos has been alluding to all along. This is his new alliance. He’s taken the side of his sisters against me, my sisters, and Hades. He’s perverting the natural order of death in a sorry grasp for power.
Thanatos laughs as the realization dawns on me.
“I told you that you should have allied with me. You and I could have ruled the world of death together. We might have even dethroned Hades himself. Instead, I’ve chosen my sisters. They’re always hungry, you know and I’m going to help feed them. We will control death from now on. Not you and not Hades.”
Ker and her army lands in front of us. I stand, laying Alex down carefully on the bench and stepping in front of him so that my body shields his. I have no room to maneuver. Ker and Thanatos are in front of me, and Alex and the rock are at my back. I know before it begins that I will lose the battle. I have no escape route to take Alex away, but I will fight anyway. For Alex.
I pray that he is dead. That is the only way that the Keres will leave him alone. If he is still alive, they’ll feed on him. They have no taste for the blood of the dead. Only the soon-to-be dead. I have to buy him enough time to die peacefully before they get to him. That’s all I can fight for now. Minutes ago, I was wishing for him to live. Now I’m wishing for him to hurry up and die.
I pull my sword from around my neck. Before I can cut myself and lengthen it to its full size, Thanatos is upon me. I curse myself for not thinking of my own protection before now. Basic battle tactics—always protect yourself first. I should have taken the time to ready my sword just in case. Now, it’s too late.
Thanatos leaps on me and throws me face-first to the ground. The breath whooshes from my lungs and the pendant skitters away. He picks it up and hurls it down the mountain. Thanatos also pulls off the bracelet that can summon Hades’ hell horses and throws it down after the sword. I kick and twist, but I can’t get him off me. He doesn’t seem inclined to hurt me, only to disarm me and hold me down.
That puzzles me, but only for a moment. Several of the Keres claw at me, ripping through my clothes and tear
ing strips of skin from my body. I scream in agony. Thanatos’ job is merely to hold me while the Keres hurt me. Vengeance for my earlier victory over them, I imagine. Ignoring my own pain, I turn my head to see what is happening to Alex.
“No,” I scream as I see Ker flex her talons over his chest.
“This time, he’s mine,” she says.
I redouble my efforts to get free, but it is no use. Thanatos merely latches on tighter, using his weight to hold me down, and the Keres rip at my back, legs, and arms.
As I watch, Ker drives her talons into Alex’s chest and rips his soul free of his body. There is a tearing sound, and I scream as his body jerks with the pain of it. Ker turns and smiles a hideous, gloating smile at me as she holds Alex’s soul aloft.
A soul looks like the human it belongs to, but it’s like looking at a film negative version of that person. You can see their features and expressions, but everything is indistinct and all the wrong colors. I see the fear and pain on Alex’s face, shadowy though it is. His mouth is moving, but no sound comes out. I don’t know if he’s praying or screaming in pain. Either way, there’s nothing I can do.
Ker flings Alex’s soul away, leaving it to find its own way to Hades. Without a guide, Alex’s soul might wander for days or even months, trying to find its way to the Underworld. Even if I manage to find him, I cannot help him. Only Thanatos can guide a soul to the Underworld, and it looks like he isn’t performing that service anymore. Without his guidance, Alex will have to find his own way. Until then, he’ll be a ghost in this world, alone and shunned. My heart breaks for him.
As if desecrating his soul isn’t enough, Ker turns and rakes her talons down Alex’s chest, opening gaping cuts. Blood wells to the surface and I retch as she begins to feed on him, slowly licking each cut. She takes her time, knowing I am watching. She isn’t just feeding; she’s rubbing my face in her intimacy with Alex. Her feeding is almost sexual, and I fight the urge to vomit.
“Don’t hang on, Alex,” I whisper. “Please. Let go.” I pray he will hurry up and die so they will leave him alone.
One by one, the other Keres approach Alex. Ker allows each to feed for a moment before shooing them away. Once each of the Keres has had a taste, Ker licks up what is left, turns to me, and smiles, her lips dripping Alex’s blood. I gag.
She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and then steps back, allowing me an unobstructed view of Alex’s mutilated and mangled body. He’s still breathing, shallow and intermittent, and I watch, tears running down my face and into the dirt. Finally, after what seems like an hour but is really only minutes, I see his last breath leave his body and I drop my head to the ground. It’s over.
But not for me. Thanatos lifts my head by my hair.
“Watch,” he commands.
Ker picks up Alex’s body and surges into the air with him. She flies out past the edge of the mountain and drops his body into the vastness below.
“No,” I scream, which only brings out laughter from Thanatos and the other Keres.
Ker returns and hovers in front of me, wings beating softly.
“Just go,” I say. “You got what you wanted.”
“Oh, no, honey,” Ker says, landing and squatting down next to me so she can stare into my eyes. I see nothing but blackness. No love, no hate, just nothingness.
“Alex was just the first course, so to speak. I came for something more. Something very valuable that your stupidity and loyalty to the human boy has cost you.” She glances toward the bench.
My shears. The gold blades glint in the sun, shining from their place next to the bench. I struggle against Thanatos, but all that happens is that one of the Keres slices deep into my leg, exposing the muscle, and Thanatos bounces my head hard, once, on the ground like a basketball.
It is then I realize the enormity of my errors. I not only left Alex and myself unprotected, I left my shears unprotected, as well. I brought them here, into the open where they are vulnerable. The one thing I was never, ever to do, I’ve done, and there will be no forgiveness for this.
Ker saunters over, picks up the shears, snips them mockingly in my face, and then flies into the air, headed for who knows where. Her sisters fly after her, laughing all the way.
“You should have chosen me,” Thanatos whispers into my ear. “I would have spared your human this desecration, at least.” I feel Thanatos’ weight lift from my back as he, too, flees the scene.
I am alone. Well and truly alone. I roll slowly on to my back, hoping that somehow, I might die, too, even though it’s impossible. I’ve lost the boy I love, and I’ve lost my shears. My grief is unbearable, but even worse is the guilt I feel. Everything that happened here today is my fault. I was too caught up in Alex to appreciate the dangers around us, dangers that now threaten the entire human race.
Now that the Keres have my shears and Thanatos on their side, they’ll be able to kill whenever and whomever they want. They don’t have access to the lifelines, but it doesn’t matter. A human life can be ended with just one cut from those shears. The lifelines are nothing more than a means to keep me from having to travel around the world like some kind of Santa Claus of death. The shears are the killers. With them, the Keres will have no trouble killing to suit their whims.
With the Keres in charge of death, every death will be bloody, violent, slow, and painful so they can feed their hunger. Humans have never experienced anything like the disaster that is about to befall them. I only hope that the Keres have enough sense to at least go slowly so as to not exhaust their food supply too quickly. Otherwise, the humans will quickly become extinct.
I know I have to get up, both to retrieve Alex’s body and get to Zeus to ask him to intervene in this mess, but I am so tired and hurt that all I can do is lie on the ground and weep for my losses while I wait for my wounds to heal.