"Let's go," Ian said anxiously.
Flora looked at Addison. "If you come along. Addison, you have to be quiet. No whistling and singing stupid dirty songs to impress anyone, okay?"
"Whatever," he said, and tossed his rock at a pair of sparrows that lifted off the branch the moment he threw it. He looked at me. "I nearly got one before," he said.
Flora and Ian started away and I hurried to stay close to them. Addison trailed behind like someone not sure he was going to accompany us. Something attracted his attention and he went off to the right for a moment and then, when I looked back. I saw him resume following us.
Flora and Ian were already in a discussion about something called indigenous plant life.
I was beginning to wish I had gone with Mama and Daddy on the boat.
Then Flora fell back to walk alongside me. "I understand you had your first period already," she said.
Ian didn't turn back even though he must have heard what she had said. I glanced at Addison. He was five or so yards behind us, still tossing rocks.
"Yes," I said.
"You could have an orgasm, you know," she said. "Sometimes it just happens, even when you're sleeping, and sometimes, you can't help but bring it on yourself. It's better you know all about it so nothing frightens you. I don't imagine your mother will tell you about it. Mine didn't."
Despite what she said, it sounded frightening. "Does it hurt?" I asked her.
She shook her head. "On the contrary," she said. "You're going to like it. Some girls like it so much, they're like rabbits," she told me.
My eyes could have been on springs. That was how much I felt they had bulged.
She laughed. "Don't worry," she said. "I'll clue you in on it all. Hey," she called to Ian, "go to the left up here. The stream is just ahead." She ran to join up with him.
Addison drew alongside me and nudged me. "My sister thinks she knows everything," he said.
Oh no, I thought, he heard what we were talking about and Ian had warned me not to let him hear anything.
Then he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "But I'm sure I just hit one."
We walked on, my heart feeling like it was flapping as quickly as the birds that fled Addison's rocks.
10 A Flood of Hormones
. We reached the wild berry patch about ten minutes later. I thought we had gone much farther from our cabin than Mama would have wanted us to go, but Ian seemed completely unconcerned. He and Flora decided on a place to hide behind a very big, old maple tree where there was a carpet of thick moss. We were to wait to see if the black bear would appear to feast on the berries. Addison stood behind us, obviously deciding if it was worth it to remain. He looked very bored. He held another rock in his hand and juggled it as he eyed some birds flitting from branch to branch.
Flora frightened him and me, too, for that matter, when she told him if he threw rocks or made too much noise or moved around too much, it might rile the bear.
"It could be right around here. Addison, and it will come after you. Bears, even though they are big and heavy, move very quickly. They can climb trees, too, so you can't escape that way."
Addison said nothing, but when I looked back a few moments later, he was gone. Ian laughed. "Good work, Flora, although black bears are nowhere as dangerous as you made them sound. They're not like grizzly bears."
"I know," she said, "but I really wanted to get rid of him. He would just be annoying and," she added, looking at me, "Jordan and I couldn't talk in front of him.'
"Right," Ian said, and turned to look at the berry patch.
Flora slid herself back to sit beside me. "Tell me how it all happened to you first," she said.
"I don't know how," I said. I wasn't sure what she meant. Ian turned around and looked annoyed at my answer.
"You noticed your breasts developing," she prompted. "You saw hair appear. What did you do about it?"
"Nothing."
"Did you tell your mother right away or what?"
I described how Mama found out. Flora was amused at Mama's reaction. I didn't think she should be laughing at her.
"She was very worried," I said.
"Sure she was and that was good. She should have been. When it began to happen to me. I told my mother right away," she said. "And you know what she said?"
I shook my head. How would I know?
"She said, 'So?' Then she went back to making her meat loaf. When I had stomach cramps and got my period. I was in school and my teacher rushed me to the school nurse. I told her what had been happening to me and she then called my mother.
"Who then," she added, raising her voice a bit, "was annoyed at me for not telling her first. I reminded her that I had told her, but she didn't remember. Addison is more like my mother than I am," she added.
Ian looked back at her and smiled. "I agree," he said.
"Ian's met my mother. The first thing she did was offer him a peanut butter sandwich. Sometimes, she has that for breakfast, along with a ton of other food. When you see her, you'll understand why I am not exactly Paris Hilton."
"Who?"
"Thin," she said.. "I inherited a proclivity toward fat cells."
I stared at her. What was she talking about? Why did she think I knew that word? What was a fat cell? She was just like Ian, always assuming I lived in a dictionary, too.
He saw the confusion on my face. "She means a tendency toward gaining weight. She has a slow metabolism."
"It's so slow I'm still catching up with my baby food," Flora said, and she and Ian laughed, but quietly, always worried about the bear.
What did metabolism mean? It was like being in quicksand. The more they explained, the deeper I sank. Sitting between them. I felt like a foreigner who barely spoke English and wasn't sure what she should do or say next. I decided not to ask any questions.
"Actually, precocious puberty can lead to obesity." Ian nodded.
"I think I heard something," he said.
They were both so quiet now, studying the woods and searching for signs of the bear I secretly hoped would never come. I thought that was the end of it, and that Flora had lost interest in me, but I was wrong.
"Anyway," she suddenly continued, "one of the older girls at our school, Toby Whitfield, worked in the nurse's office helping her secretary. It was part of a program for honor students who didn't need to sit quietly in study halls and who were thought mature enough to handle such duties."
"We have a similar program at our school," Ian said. "I'll probably join it next year."
I had no idea what he was talking about, and I was sure neither Mama nor Daddy knew either, but I didn't say anything.
"Toby Bitchfield," Flora continued, which brought a smile to Ian's face, "overheard the nurse's conversation with my mother and snuck a view of the nurse's notes about me. She told some of her friends who told some of their friends and before long, older girls were teasing me in the halls and in the bathroom whenever they found me there. They nicknamed me Miss Puberty. I tried to ignore them, but they started to tell boys as well."
Ian looked at her, nodded as if he had been there, and then looked out at the woods again.
"Soon, the parents of my classmates found out about me and then it was as if I had the plague. I wasn't invited to any parties and girls who used to pal around with me avoided inc. It wasn't that they thought what I had was catching. They were afraid I would corrupt them with sex talk, which was ridiculous because I knew nothing more than they did. It got so I hated going to school."
She paused and shook her head. "I feel sorry for you. I'm sure when you get back to school in September, all your friends will have been told about you."
"No they won't," Ian said. "We haven't spoken to anyone about her."
"It doesn't matter. News gets out. Maybe there'll be someone in the nurse's office at her school who'll find out."
I looked at Ian. This was terrible. No one would want to be my friend? I wouldn't be invited to any parties?
&nb
sp; "It won't happen," he insisted.
"Sure. Dream on."
"Don't tell her that," he said more sternly.
She shrugged. "Whatever. Anyway, I complained to my mother about what was happening to me at school and her response was, 'What can I do? Just ignore them and they'll go away eventually. She wasn't all wrong. It's true they get bored teasing someone, but they never go away. I was taking medicine like you are, but it wasn't helping as much or as quickly as I had hoped. Everyone's different, so don't think that will be the way with you, too," she added quickly.
"Absolutely.," Ian confirmed. "She already knows there are different possible causes and that could make for a variety of prognoses.
"'That's true," Flora said. "The latest article in the medical journal confirmed that. You take the medicine until you reach an age for normal puberty. It's like holding back a flood," she added, and laughed. "A flood of hormones."
They made me feel like I was sitting in Dr. Dell'Acqua's office again. I was beginning to wish I had gone off with Addison. They stopped talking and I thought finally, this is the end of it, but Flora nudged me so I would look at her.
"Unfortunately for me or fortunately, depending on how you look at it. I suppose, I eventually attracted the attention of an older girl, Gwen Edwards. I caught her watching me from time to time and finally, one day when I left school to walk home, she followed me and caught up with me after a few blocks. She stepped up beside me and bumped me with her hip so I stopped. 'I heard what happened to you,' she said. I wasn't sure if she meant my condition or what Toby had done. 'You have an orgasm vet?' she asked me, and like you. I didn't know if that was like having heart failure or what. I just shook my head and kept walking, but she stayed right beside me."
"What did she look like?" Ian asked. I didn't see how that mattered, but Flora smiled at him with understanding.
"Not what your're expecting. She was tall, slim, with an attractive figure and face. Let's just say her chances of becoming Miss New York were pretty good."
"Really?" Ian said, now looking more interested himself.
"You can't judge a book by its cover," Flora said. "Poison ivy is a good example."
Ian laughed.
"Anyway. Gwen continued to walk beside me and then told me if it happened to me without warning. I would be so frightened by it. I could drop dead. She claimed that almost happened to her. She was so much older than I was and as far as I knew, a big shot. I didn't run away from her and was actually a little flattered that she was taking any interest in me at all."
"Maybe you shouldn't be telling Jordan this story," Ian suddenly said, a look of concern washing over his face.
Flora smiled. "Hey, she's sorta learn about these things."
Why was Ian so worried for me? Why didn't I understand any of this? Why did it still seem like they were speaking in another language only the two of them understood? What did this story she was telling have to do with me anyway?
"Her house was just a block and a half off the route to mine. She invited me to come with her, promising to tell me more about this orgasm thing. An older girl was asking me to her house. That was very impressive and tempting. I knew I had to get home to do my chores at the nursery, but I went anyway.
"There was no one at home at her house. She was an only child and both her parents were at work. She took me to her room and started asking me more questions about my precocious puberty. Then she went to her closet and pulled a jewel- box out from under her shoe rack, unlocked it, and took out something she called a vibrator.'"
"Flora," Ian said, his voice full of warning. His face took on a crimson shade very quickly, too.
"Relax," Flora said, and turned back to me quickly. "When she described what she did with it, the whole idea was terrifying. She offered to demonstrate and did. A tow truck couldn't drag me out of that room after that."
"You don't have to go into the nifty-gritty details about it," Ian said.
Flora smiled at him. "Sure. I know you boys just love hearing such things."
"Not me," he said firmly.
I was beginning to get very annoyed. This whole conversation seemed to be more for them than for me and I still didn't understand where it was going or why Flora was even telling me about it. I began to think seriously about wetting up and running back to the cabin. I was a little unsure of the direction, so I hesitated.
"She talked me into trying it, coaxing and guiding me until I lay back on her bed and did what she instructed. At first I felt silly, of course, and still a little frightened, thinking I would hurt myself, but then--"
"Flora!" Ian practically shouted. She smiled at him and turned back to me as though she was going to leave him out of the rest of the story.
"I felt myself get wet and my pelvis tingled. There was a wave of excitement, a rippling between my legs that made me feel like my whole body had turned to jelly or something. I wanted to stop but I couldn't and she was doing more than urging me on. She had her hand on my hand. When I looked at her face. I saw she was enjoying it as much as I was or even more."
"That's enough.," Ian said.
"Okay, okay. Relax. Afterward, I practically ran all the way home. My parents were so busy they didn't notice how late I was, and of course. I never told anyone about it. Matter of fact," she said, pausing and nodding, "I haven't told anyone until now."
"We're flattered," Ian said dryly, and she laughed.
"Gwen tried to get me to come back to her house with her a few more times, but I wouldn't do it. That, my dear Jordan, was my introduction to sex."
Sex? I thought. That's sex? How can babies come from something like that?
"That's not going to happen to my sister," Ian said. He looked angry about it, but it still gave me a good feeling to hear him sound protective.
Flora laughed. "You never know what's going to happen to anyone," she said. "You're not with her all the time."
"It's not going to happen to her that way," Ian insisted.
I thought they might get into a real argument about it, but Flora simply shrugged and looked out at the berry patch. I still didn't know what it was all about or understand what exactly had happened to her in that older girl's bedroom. Her body turned to jelly? She was frightened, but couldn't stop? Gwen was enjoying it more than she was? Enjoying what? What was strange about it all was that even though I didn't understand, my heart was pounding.
I saw Ian staring at me in a strange way. His eyes shifted back to Flora. He still looked angry and upset. Then he turned completely to stare at the berry patch. Flora adjusted her camera. We were all very quiet. My mind was in turmoil, my body a
kaleidoscope of emotions and feelings. I really wanted to go back to the cabin and be near Mama. I thought I even whimpered, but neither of them looked at me. There was some rustling in a bush. Ian reached back to touch Flora and they both moved closer to the tree. I held my breath and then the black bear appeared.
When it paused and sniffed the air, both Flora and Ian suddenly froze and looked like they were holding their breath, too. The bear turned to the berries and squatted to pick and eat them. I was fascinated, but so frightened. I broke out in a cold sweat. The bear stopped and turned to look our way.
"He knows we're here,' Flora whispered. She chanced clicking a picture and then another. "Don't move," she warned me.
The bear decided not to bother with us and returned to its feast. It moved farther away in the berry patch.
"Beautiful," Ian said. "I've never been as close to one before except for the goo, of course."
"I think we should get going," Flora suggested. "Don't look a gift bear in the mouth."
Ian laughed and then they crawled back and we all stood up and moved quickly toward the path we had followed. My heart was still pounding so hard I thought I would lose my breath as I did when I ran and ran. Ian reached for my hand to pull me along with them and we eventually did break out into a jog until we reached the field and saw the campers.
"You'd bett
er be sure to keep this secret. Jordan," Ian warned me. "Mother finds out where I took you and I'm a goner."
"I won't tell," I said.
"C'mon to my camper," Flora said, "I'll make you a peanut butter sandwich."
"We have to go home for lunch," I reminded Ian.
"She's right," he said.
"I thought you wanted to see my butterfly collection."
"Yes, I did," Ian said.
"So. That won't take long. And," she said, "I have something to give Jordan." She smiled at me and reached for my hand. She held it so tightly. I couldn't run off if I wanted.
I saw Addison had joined three other boys who looked much younger. They were off to our right in a parking lot hitting rocks with sticks toward the woods.
"It doesn't take much to amuse Addison," Flora said.
Before we reached her camper, the door opened and a heavy woman with dark brown hair chopped short around her ears stepped out. It looked like it had been hacked with a hatchet. She waved a tablecloth in the air to disperse crumbs or something. She was wearing a pair of jeans and the faded gray top of a sweat suit and looked like an older and larger version of Flora. Her heavy bosom rolled about like globs of putty beneath her top as she shook the tablecloth more vigorously. Finally, she saw us and stopped.
"Who do we have here?" she asked Flora while she looked at
It wasn't difficult to see the resemblances in their faces. They had the same smile, twisting their thick lips crookedly. She folded the tablecloth as we drew closer.
"This is Ian's sister," Flora replied. "Jordan."
"Hello, dear," Flora's mother said, still holding on to her smile. "Your father's gone fishing," she told Flora. "I'm going to meet him down at the pier restaurant for lunch. I have all sorts of cold cuts, potato salad, fresh rye bread, and a chocolate layer cake for you and Addison. You can invite your new friends, too," she said. "Just don't mess up the mess," she added, and laughed. She went inside.
"That's my mother," Flora said. "My father is six feet two and only one hundred and forty pounds. My mother says a brisk wind will blow through him. I call them Night and Day," she added.