I give myself an hour-long pity party before finally sitting up to text Val.
What’re u up to?
BBQ with the fam. It’s terrible.
Jordan tormenting u?
No, she’s upstairs packing. She’s visiting her grandmother (dad’s side). They send her off there periodically bc the old bat is rich rich rich. From the way they talk about her, I think she’s a bag of skin stuffed with rolled up hundies.
I laugh.
Sounds like she’ll live forever.
Possibly. I think she’s 80 now.
All this $$$ makes me anxious. I feel like if the Royals didn’t have any, they’d all be happier.
Babe, no one’s happy if they’re poor.
I ponder that thought. When Mom was alive, I was happy. Yeah, we had problems, and at times they seemed insurmountable, but we had a lot of laughter in our lives. There was never any doubt in my mind that she loved me with everything in her. It’s that unadulterated love that I miss. The pure, sweet unshakeable love that she had for me kept me warm at night and filled my empty stomach during the day.
And there’s no guarantee of happiness just bc you’re rich either.
Actual studies show u can buy happiness.
Okay! I give. Let’s buy some happiness with my $.
We were happy shopping the other day. I’m game for the mall if u are. But not tonight. Tonight I have to suffer. In fact, auntie is glaring at me right now. Gotta go.
I drop the phone on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I guess money can make things better to a certain extent. Maybe I’m approaching this the wrong way. Maybe I can buy the Royals happiness by buying Brooke off. She wants security in the form of the Royal bank account, right? What if I could get her to leave by offering her my inheritance? Callum doesn’t want it. I could live without it. I think…hmm, I think this might be a quality idea. I just wish I had someone to run it past.
I drum my fingers against the coverlet. There is someone who knows Brooke better than I do, and he happens to live in this house.
Argh. Is this an excuse to talk to Reed? Maybe. I push the thought aside and get up to find him.
It’s not easy. The Royals have scattered. Seb and Sawyer are probably at Lauren’s house. Easton’s door is locked and the music in his room is so loud he doesn’t hear my knock. Or maybe he does and is ignoring me. Down the hall, I peek into Reed’s room. His door is open, but he’s not around.
I wander around the big house until I finally hear some noise. It’s coming from the exercise room. A rhythmic thudding leads me down the stairs into the basement. The door is propped open, and I spot Reed pummeling his fists against a large bag. Sweat drips down his face and his upper body glistens.
Ugh, he’s so hot.
I tell my hormones to settle down and push the door open. His head swings toward me immediately.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
He catches the bag and steps back, wiping a wrapped hand across his face. His eyes are red and I wonder if some of the moisture on his face might be from something other than sweat.
“What’s up?” he asks, and his voice cracks. Using the pretense of needing a drink, he ducks his head and grabs a water bottle.
“The twins are gone. And Easton’s door is locked.”
He nods. “The twins went to see Lauren. Easton is…” He pauses, searching for the right words. “Easton is—” He stops again and shakes his head.
“What’s wrong?” I demand. “Is he okay?”
“More okay than he was a couple hours ago.”
“Are…you okay?”
There’s a beat. Then he slowly shakes his head again.
Despite the warning bells in my head, I take a step closer to him. This is bad. My defenses have crumbled. I can feel myself surrendering to him. He keeps drawing me in with his addictive kisses and his strength and the vulnerability he’s stopped trying to hide from me.
“What happened?” I ask.
I see him swallow. “I…” He clears his throat. “I tried to tell him.”
“Tell who what?”
“My dad. I walked right up to his study, all ready to tell him what I did.”
“What you did?” I echo stupidly.
“Brooke,” he spits out. “I was going to tell him about Brooke. But I chickened out. I stood there at his door and couldn’t bring myself to knock. I kept picturing his disgust and his disappointment and…so I bailed. I turned around and came down here and now I’m pounding this bag and pretending I’m not a coward and a selfish asshole.”
A sigh lodges in my throat. “Reed.”
“What?” he mutters. “You know it’s true. Isn’t that why you hate me? ’Cause I’m a selfish ass?”
“I…don’t hate you,” I whisper.
Something flares in his eyes. Surprise? Hope, maybe? Then it fades, replaced with a cloud of sorrow. “You said you’d never forgive me,” he reminds me.
“For what?” My lips twist into a bitter smile. “For having sex with someone before me? For trying to warn me away?”
He rubs his lips together uncertainly. “For everything. For not telling you about Brooke. For not being there for you when you needed me. For taking advantage of you the night Daniel drugged—”
“I knew what I was doing that night,” I interrupt. “If I said no at any time, you wouldn’t have touched me. I wanted it to happen, so please don’t make me feel bad by turning it into something it’s not.”
He tosses the bottle to the side and closes the distance between us. “Fine. I’m not sorry about that night anyway. I have a lot to apologize for, but I won’t lie to you. That was one of the most incredible nights of my life.” He raises a hand toward my cheek. “And every day that I woke up after that was better because I could look forward to holding you that night.”
I know what he means. After we both dropped our guards, things were so…perfect. I’d never had a real boyfriend before, and every second I spent with Reed, kissing, talking, falling asleep together, was new and wonderful and I loved it.
“I miss my mom,” he says in a choked voice. “I didn’t realize how much until you came along. I think you were my mirror. I looked at you and how strong you were and I realized I didn’t have an ounce of your steel in me.”
“That’s not true. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“Maybe you give me too much?”
I can’t help but laugh. “I don’t think that’s been the case for a while.”
He grins back ruefully. “Yeah, you got me there.” Then his face sobers up. “I want to tell you about my mom. You up for that?”
I nod slowly. I’m not sure what’s happening between us right now, but whatever it is, it feels…right. Something about this guy has always felt right, even when it was wrong, even when I swore I’d never fall for him again.
“Let me shower.” He releases me. “Don’t go anywhere,” he murmurs as he backs away. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
He escapes into the attached bathroom. If it was me or Val, the shower would’ve taken at least twenty minutes, but Reed is done in literally two minutes. He’s still wet when he comes striding out with one towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand that he uses to rub against his short hair.
The water runs in an interesting path down his chest, over his ridged abs and then stopping at the terry cloth at his waist. The towel looks securely fastened, but I’m pretty sure that with one tug, the thing would give way.
“Your room or mine?”
I jerk my head up. He grins at me, but doesn’t say a word. Smart boy.
“Mine,” I answer.
He holds out his hand. “Lead the way.”
24
Upstairs, Reed ducks into his room to get changed, while I grab a couple of sodas from my mini-fridge and wait for him. When he returns, I hand him a Coke and he settles on the bed beside me, angling his broad body so we’re facing each other.
“You know my dad cheate
d on my mom, right?”
I hesitate. According to Callum, he never touched another woman when he was married to Maria, but for some reason, his sons refuse to believe him.
Reed sees the doubt on my face. “It’s true. He screwed around on her while he jetted all over the world with Uncle Steve, who, by the way, was cheating on Dinah from day one.”
I swallow a lump of unhappiness. I hate hearing stuff like that about my father, which is weird because I didn’t even know the guy.
“Dinah didn’t care, though. She married Uncle Steve for his money, everyone knew it. And she had her own pieces of ass on the side. But Mom was different. She cared.”
“Did she have proof that Callum was cheating?” I ask tentatively.
“He was gone all the time, and he was always with Steve, a guy who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”
I wince. “That’s not real proof, Reed. It’s just suspicion. Why are you so sure he’s guilty?”
“Because he is.” Reed’s adamant. I want to argue some more, but he doesn’t give me the chance. “Mom was depressed, and she was taking a lot of pills.”
“I heard there was a mix-up with her prescription? And her doctor went to jail or something?”
“There was no mix-up,” he says bitterly. “She was on meds for depression and insomnia, but she started self-dosing, taking more than she was supposed to. And she was drinking a lot, too…” His voice shakes. “It got worse and worse, and Dad was never home, so it was up to us to take care of her.”
“It’s awful to be helpless,” I murmur, thinking about how I had to take care of my mom when she was sick.
Realization flares in his eyes as he recognizes that I know exactly how he feels—watching someone you love be eaten by a disease that is out of control and knowing you can’t do a damn thing about it.
“Yeah. Worst thing in the world.”
“How do you know it wasn’t an accident?” I ask.
He takes a deep, slow breath. “She told us—Gid and I—that she loved us but couldn’t take it anymore. That she was so, so sorry.” His mouth twists into an ugly shape. “Those words are meaningless, aren’t they?” His eyes shut in self-disgust, like he’s remembering how many times he’s said those same words to me since I came back to Bayview.
Maria’s goodbye probably did more harm than good. If she’d died without professing her love and regret, maybe Gideon and Reed would have been able to convince themselves that her death was an accident. Instead, they were burdened with guilt that somehow they weren’t enough to keep her alive.
Maria was as bad as Callum, I realize. Just as selfish. Just as needy. Is it any surprise that her kids are flawed in the same way?
“I hated him for what he did to her. We all did. And then six months after she died, he started bringing Brooke around. I wanted to kill him for that. It was like he was spitting on Mom’s grave.”
I exhale shakily, wondering how Callum could be so stupid. Couldn’t he have waited a bit longer before parading his new girlfriend in front of his sons?
“They were together for about a year when Brooke started hitting on me,” Reed admits. “I was wrong. I know I was wrong. The really ironic part is that I was doing it to get back at my dad, but I could never bring myself to tell him.”
“Why did you sit there and not say anything that night?” I burst out. “Why did you let me think the worst?”
He lifts his head to meet my eyes. “I was ashamed. I knew I had to tell you about Brooke, and I was scared you’d hate me for it. Then she told me about being pregnant. I knew it couldn’t be mine, but I…froze. I couldn’t move. Literally. I tried but couldn’t. And then I got pissed, so pissed, at myself, at her, at you.”
I tense up. “At me?”
“Yeah, for being everything I wish I could be.” His voice thickens. “Look, Royals are known for their money, their looks, and that’s about it. We cave at the first sign of pressure. Dad’s business is about to go under, so he starts sleeping around. Mom starts over-medicating and then…dies. I—” he visibly swallows, “I was pissed at my dad, so I slept with his girlfriend.”
I grit my teeth but don’t say a word.
“I heard the door slam and it was like I was released from this prison. I went racing after you. I stayed up all night looking for you.”
But I was already gone, sitting on a bus, determined to get as far away from Bayview as possible.
“I’m sorry.” He takes my hand and laces his fingers through mine. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth earlier.”
I release a shaky breath. “Reed?”
“Yeah?”
“I forgive you.”
His breath hitches. “You do?”
I nod.
Reed’s hand trembles as it cups my chin. “Thank you.”
His thumb rubs an arc across my cheekbone, swiping away a tear I hadn’t realized slipped out.
The emotion lining my throat makes it hard to get my next words out. “I want to forget—”
He kisses me before I can finish the sentence. Warm lips crash onto mine, and I instinctively wrap my arms around his strong shoulders, pulling him closer.
His breath tickles my lips. “I missed this. I missed you.”
Then he’s kissing me again. Everywhere. His mouth grazes my cheeks and my throat and even my closed eyelids. It’s a sweet, leisurely exploration, and I drink it up. One of his thighs slides between my legs to press against the unbearable ache.
“Reed,” I whisper, but I don’t know what I’m asking for.
He does. “Not tonight.”
I squeeze my thighs together around his leg. His body vibrates against mine as he releases a groan. Then he moves over and lies beside me, pulling my head against his chest.
It feels good to be in his arms again. I missed this, too. But I’m afraid this moment of happiness won’t last, because there are still so many obstacles in our lives.
“Reed?”
“Mmmm?”
“What are we going to do about Brooke?”
“I don’t know.”
“What if I give her my inheritance?”
His breath hitches. “Dad would never let you do that.”
“I know.” My shoulders slump into the mattress. “I tried to give it to him. Brooke told me Callum expected Steve’s share to go to the Royals.”
Reed peers down at me. “Please tell me he said no.”
“He said no.”
“Good. We don’t need that money. It’s yours. We have plenty.”
“Brooke says you can never have enough.”
“Brooke’s a money-sucking bitch.”
Frustration bubbles up inside me. “Why did he take her back? Just because she’s pregnant? It’s not like we’re living a hundred years ago. Even Callum knows he doesn’t have to marry someone just because he knocked her up.”
Reed tenses.
I instantly lift my head. “What did you do?” I demand.
“I made a deal with her,” he admits. “She’d shut up about saying the baby was mine—which is a lie—and in exchange I’d put in a good word with my dad.”
“Oh my God. That was a terrible idea.”
“I know. I’m a dumbass, but I was desperate. I would’ve agreed to anything at that point.”
“Obviously,” I say darkly.
The two of us go quiet for a second.
“We need to find a way to get rid of her.” His voice is low and ominous. “I can’t have that woman living in my house. I don’t want her anywhere near you.”
I bite my lip, because I’m worried that if the truth gets out, things won’t go well for Reed. Callum already thinks he’s been too lenient with the boys, and if he finds out about Reed and Brooke, it’ll be just another sign that he needs to pull the reins tighter. I don’t know if I disagree with Callum’s line of thinking. The Royal boys could handle a little discipline in their lives. The problem is, I don’t know what path Callum would take.
Military school?
I can’t imagine living in this giant museum without the guys here. I guess I’m a little selfish, too.
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret later,” I warn.
His arm tightens around me. “I’m not making promises I can’t keep. You know I’d do anything for you. For us.”
I wriggle closer to Reed. I just got him back, and I don’t want to fight. Not tonight. I twine my fingers through his. “Are you sure everyone was okay with me getting Steve’s half of the company?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Because Gideon doesn’t like me.”
“Actually, babe, you’ve got that all wrong. Gid doesn’t think I’m good for you.”
Is that Gideon’s problem? He’s never been mean to me, but he’s definitely kept his distance.
“Why does he think that?” I ask uneasily.
“Gid’s life isn’t great right now. He’s got…issues.”
Issues? Like screwing my dad’s widow? I wonder if Reed knows about that.
“What issues?”
“He’s not in a good place.”
Yeah, this isn’t making me happy. I blow a lock of hair out of my face. “I think we need to be done with the secrets between us.”
Reed raises his free hand. “I swear if I could tell you the details, I would. But they’re Gideon’s issues, not mine.”
I sit up. “No more secrets,” I repeat, firmer this time. “You want me to start? Fine, I’ll start.”
“Start with what—”
“Easton and I caught Gideon and Dinah having sex,” I interrupt.
He sits up, too. “You serious? And you’re just telling me this now?”
I study his face. “You don’t look surprised.” My tone sharpens. “Why aren’t you surprised, Reed? Did you know?”
He hesitates.
“You knew,” I accuse.
Reed shrugs.
I angrily shove my hair out of my eyes. “Why is he with Dinah?” I demand. “And why does he care if you and I are together? The night I caught you with Brooke, Gideon asked to meet me—did he tell you that? That’s why I was coming to your room that night, to talk to you about it.”
“No, he didn’t tell me,” Reed says with a frown. “What did he say to you?”