considered the heart-breaking possibility that he didn’t like me. But I knew that couldn’t be true. He was affected by me. When I’d pushed up against him last night, I’d felt his heart pounding away like crazy; almost like he was afraid to be standing that close to me.
“But if you want to…you know…hang out when you’re done here, I can…wait?”
What the heck was I doing? I was going to wait for him to get off work? I’d just thrown my whole hot-and-cold plan out the window. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
He stopped and turned around, a frown knitting his brows.
Please say yes, please say yes.
Who knows what was running through his mind. He probably thought I was crazy but, for some desperately frustrating reason, I was still hopeful. If not I would have tossed the floss I held and walked away like I should have. Seriously, what was wrong with me?
He hesitated for what felt like a full minute, but must only have been seconds, before shrugging and nodding. “Sure. I get off work in an hour if that’s not too long for you to wait. But I can only hang out for half an hour. School night and all.”
Thank you sweet Lord!
“Cool,” I attempted nonchalance, but I don’t know why I even bothered, seeing as I’d been the one to ask to spend time with him. “I’ll be in the cafe across the road. You know the one, right?”
He nodded again then turned to resume his task.
That was officially the dumbest thing I’d ever done, but I was too overjoyed by the thought of achieving a result to even think of feeling embarrassed. Clearly my initial intention hadn’t been to ask him out like that. The magazines made it sound like I’d be the one doing the accepting, but a result was a result.
The small coffee shop was packed when I got in, not many places stayed open past six in that part of the city. I waited until a window seat became free and rushed to lay claim to it. That way I’d be able to see when Paul came out of the supermarket. Not that I thought he’d back out. Okay, I did, a little. He could have simply said yes to get rid of me. Goodness, I was nervous. Just because everyone at school knew my name and running schedule, people expected me to be good at this whole boy-girl game, but I was rubbish at it. I’d never really worked out how to deal with the crazy attention I got and my usual reaction was to laugh or make a joke and flee scenes as soon as possible. Just like I’d tried to do with Brandon, which obviously hadn’t gone too well.
In fact the whole incident the night before had been weirder than weird. Brandon hadn’t eased up like he usually did, and only heaven knows why I’d gone into that side alley to escape him. If you’re trying to get away from someone, you don’t walk into a space where there are less people in sight. I’d watched enough scary movies to work that one out. But my body seemed to have a mind of its own and I’d found myself facing Paul.
Funny thing was, I was expecting to get some stick from Brandon at school but he didn’t even look at me. Not once. Not even when I walked past him to get to my seat in English class. Maybe he was mortified by his behaviour. Good. I was getting tired of declining his offers anyway. How many ways could you possibly say no to a guy without pulling your hair out?
I worked out Paul’s shift ended at seven thirty so I took out my Maths notebook. Solving sums always drew me into a bubble; I figured it’d be the perfect thing to pass the hour. When it was nearly half seven, I ordered another green tea and got him a coffee. It was probably a little late for coffee but it felt like a safer choice than tea. Everyone else seemed to love the awful bitter taste.
Paul emerged from the store a little later than I’d anticipated, his usual uniform of T-shirt and faded jeans in tow. He’d swapped the Chilli Peppers branding for The Wallflowers. I wondered if he’d actually seen any of the many bands he sported so proudly. Probably not, if he had to work at the supermarket to make money; concert tickets cost a small fortune. Unless he worked to keep busy after school. I knew next to nothing about Paul Colt and I desperately wanted to change that.
“Hey,” he greeted with a nod, sliding into the seat opposite me. Breezy, just like we were old friends.
There was a familiar faint smell of cigarette smoke and minty toothpaste on him, like he’d tried to get rid of the stench but hadn’t succeeded. It wasn’t unpleasant, just not the way I wanted him to smell.
“I got you coffee,” I beamed, pushing the cup towards him as I tried to ignore the thought of who the scent reminded me of.
“Oh.”
“Something wrong?”
“Tea is my preferred source of caffeine. Never really been a coffee drinker.”
“Oh, right, sorry,” I fumbled a little as I pulled back the cup and shoved mine towards him. “You can have my tea, I had one earlier. I haven’t touched this one so it won’t be like we’re exchanging spit or anything.”
What was wrong with me? Where were all these idiotic comments coming from?
He actually smiled; not a condescending kind of smile, more like he thought I was kidding around. If only!
“Don’ worry about it, I’m sure I’ll survive.”
After that awkward exchange, we sat in silence for a few minutes as I waited for the ground to open and swallow me. He was probably wondering why he’d agreed to waste his time watching me sip tea and bite my cheek. I didn’t blame him, I would have been itching to leave too. Problem was, I had no idea what to say now I had him there. I’d wasted the past hour doing sums instead of thinking up something witty and engaging to break us into easy flowing conversation.
“I’m not allowed to date.”
“Excuse me?” He looked aptly confused by that random piece of information.
“That’s why I was trying to get rid of Brandon yesterday. I wasn’t leading him on; I don’t want you to think that’s what I do. I know kids at school think I’m a tease, but I’m just a girl who isn’t allowed to date,” I heard myself babbling on to fill the silence.
“Okay.”
He wasn’t making it easy for me. Why would he? He hadn’t asked for any of this. Taking a deep breath, I carried on.
“It’s a funny story really. My mother banned me from seeing anyone until I go off to university, or turn old enough to move out. All the women in her family were knocked up before they turned twenty…all of them, except her. She’s keen to make sure I don’t continue the family tradition.”
His brows lifted, as if he found my story hard to believe, but he smiled and nodded again. “Okay.”
Please say something else.
“I’m not allowed to date either.”
I wasn’t expecting that response and, for a moment, I thought he was pulling my leg.
“Totally different reasons though,” he added, “but I guess we have something in common.”
If you added non-coffee drinking to the list, we had two things in common, but I wasn’t going to point that out to him. I sounded pathetic enough with all my nonsensical ramblings. I waited to see if he’d give a reason for his ban but he remained silent, staring at me like I had something on my face or in my hair. Definitely my hair.
My fingers ran through my hair to dislodge whatever it was he was fixated on and he quickly looked away, almost like he hadn’t realised he was staring. A soft red tinge darkened his cheeks and I couldn’t help grinning. Yep, Paul Colt was definitely affected by me.
“Why are we here?” he demanded suddenly. Embarrassment at being caught must have prompted the change in tone.
Good question. How could I explain my overwhelming urge to be with him without sounding like a total stalker?
“I just…I thought we could get to know each other. Outside of school and all. I don’t have a lot of male friends and…”
“I have to go,” Paul declared, shoving his chair back as he rose.
What? Where was he going? Our thirty minutes weren’t up. I knew I hadn’t given him any reason to want to stay, but I thought we were finally making progress.
“Wait.” I heard the desperation in my voice but I
didn’t care. I had to stop him. Grabbing his hand, I covered it with both of mine. That stopped him. Actually it more than stopped him; it froze him in place, a glare taking over his face.
His hands were incredibly soft for someone who hauled boxes around.
Focus Nora!
“Do you believe in fate?”
“What? Why?”
“I wasn’t going to walk behind that building yesterday. I never do. It always feels deserted and creepy and you never know what weirdo will be lurk…” I stopped myself but it was too late. I’d already inferred he was a weirdo. “Anyway, for some reason I did, you came to my rescue and now, here we are.”
“So you think yesterday was meant to happen so we’d have this chat today.” The way he spoke, it sounded like he thought I was a bit slow.
“You don’t?”
My phone chose that second to buzz and I had to let go of his hand to silence it. Agnes’ name flashed on the screen. I didn’t bother answering. It was time to head home.
“You know what? Let’s pretend none of this happened,” I said, picking up my bag as I got up and brushed past him.
Yes, I walked out on him before he could walk out on me. And no, I wasn’t giving up on Paul. Do I sound like the kind of girl who gives up after one attempt at anything? There’d be another day to try to make this thing with him work…whatever this was. It would work. It just had to.
But at that moment Agnes beckoned, and she didn’t like to be kept waiting.
THREE
Paul
“What if I