“Don’t look so surprised. When you’ve lived as long as I have, you know what’s important to a proud man.”
She was beginning to sound like Doctor McGrath.
“You’re getting way ahead of me,” he said. “I like Maggie—a lot. She’s become a close friend. Without her help and encouragement, I wouldn’t have a prayer of ever walking again. But there are a lot of other things I’d have to clear up before I could ....” He let it drop, his thoughts about the future too tangled to share with a stranger.
Her deep, throaty laugh filled the room. “You’re a cautious one then, but there’s nowt wrong with that.” She sobered and leaned close again. “Just be verra careful no’ to break Maggie’s heart in the meantime,” she cautioned. “Tread lightly, Rob, lad.”
“I’m not leading her on, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
“I’m sure you aren’t. And, if you’ll take some advice from an auld woman, don’t let John McGrath intimidate you. His love for his only lass is understandable, but any faither can be over-protective.” She reached for her cane and pulled herself to her feet. “I know I’ve said things that have made you uncomfortable, but that wasn’t my intent. Perhaps ’tis my age that makes me so plain-spoken, but there are times when the truth needs to be sorted out quickly before the opportunity is lost.” She patted his shoulder. “Don’t get in a fash. I’ve had my say and I’ll no’ mention any of this again. Now, I hear Angus returning. ’Tis time to take my leave.”
“Come back soon, as I can’t come to visit you.”
She leaned over and lightly touched her lips to his cheek. She smelled of heather, like Maggie. “Courage,” she said. “God has great things planned for your future.”
Maggie came in, followed by Angus.
“Are you ready to be put into bed?” the crofter asked with a good-natured smile.
“I’ll be in the foyer,” Elspeth told him. “Just catch me up when you’re ready to leave.”
Rob was surprised by how much he hated to see her go. Her directness made him squirm, but everything she’d said had been motivated by her love for Maggie. Though she was dead wrong about Maggie and him being anything more than good friends, she’d obviously spoken what she believed to be true. But what had she meant by “great things in your future?” “Thank you, Elspeth,” he said. “I hope I’ll see you again.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Och, ’tis sure you will, lad.”
***
By the time Angus took his leave, Rob’s face was pale and he looked exhausted.
“I know you’re tired, but getting back into bed is difficult,” Maggie said. “Are you in pain?”
“I could use twa of those APCs.”
She brought the aspirin and cranked up the head of the bed before handing him a glass of water. “Drink it all. You need to keep hydrated.”
He swallowed the pills and emptied the glass.
“Guid. As soon as that aspirin works, I want to ask you a question.”
“Don’t have to wait. It helps to talk. So what’s your question?”
She hated to bother him but he always asked her to talk or sing when he hurt. “What do you think of Elspeth?”
“How could anyone not like her? She’s special.”
She sighed with relief. She had been so afraid Rob would find her dearest friend too opinionated. She sat on the side of the bed. “Elspeth taught me so much when Mither died. How to care for a wee bairnie, and over the years how to dye, spin, and knit, or weave the wool from Innisbraw’s sheep into clothing. She also showed me how to clean and cook, plunge butter and clot cream, and cultivate a kailyard garden filled with herbs and vegetables to fill the stomach and flowers to nourish the soul.”
“No wonder you’re so fond of her.”
“Aye, but I didn’t know how an incomer would react. She has strong opinions.”
“Is that what you think I am? An incomer?”
“No. I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant ... well, you’re new to Innisbraw. I didn’t mean to sound like you don’t belong. You do.” When he didn’t reply, she said, “Now do you see how important it is to learn Scots? If I’d been speaking in Scots with you understanding, we wouldn’t be in this muddle.”
“I’ll learn Scots.”
“Because I want you to or because you want it for yourself?”
“For both reasons. Nothing’s that simple.”
“Elspeth will teach you.”
“Elspeth? She can’t be tied down to teaching me every day. Don’t forget the transportation problem. She can’t walk up here and there’s no way I can get down to her cottage.”
“We’ll find a way. There’s nothing she enjoys more than teaching Scots or the Gaelic.” Despite Rob’s protest, Maggie’s spirits soared. Och, thank Ye, Faither. Rob would have a diversion from his painful exercises and she would be free to spend time in her garden.
CHAPTER 15
Rob’s Scots lessons began the following morning. Maggie talked several neighboring crofters with carts and cuddies into volunteering a shuttle service between Elspeth’s cottage and the infirmary.
Elspeth brought a slate, chalk, paper, and pencils—and an ironic wit that soon won him over completely. She started their first lesson by explaining the origin of the Scots language and how it was now spoken, although differently in each region of the land, by most of those who were not Gaelic speakers and a few who were.
“Then, Scots isn’t the same, say, on Innisbraw, as it is in the rest of the Hebrides?” Rob asked.
“Other Hebrideans don’t have Scots at all. Their auld-timers all have the Gaelic and the young people speak English. ’Tis too bad you had to come to the only Scots-speaking island in all the Hebrides. It started on Innisbraw so many years ago the reason is obscured by a heavy mist—what we call a thickness—too dense for me to breach no matter how hard I try.”
As a skilled teacher, she also gently questioned his relationship with God. Once she knew he was a Christian, she spent a few minutes at the end of each lesson explaining the importance of prayer and how much the Lord loved to have His children spend part of their days talking to Him.
“Maggie’s been telling me the same thing, but how do you know He hears you?” Rob asked the first time she told him this. “I mean, with the war and all ...”
“Have you never heard that He is omniscient—all-knowing—and also omnipresent—anywhere and everywhere—at the same time? Don’t fall for the de’il’s trap of thinking our Heavenly Faither is as limited as we humans. He has promised to listen to and answer our prayers.” She held up a hand to keep him from interrupting. “I know you wonder why some of your prayers don’t seem to be answered, but you have to realize that sometimes His answer is no because He has other plans for you or those you have prayed for—better plans than you could ever imagine.”
His mind flashed back to the moment Rich Florey had not answered his interphone. “Even if it means someone you care for dies?” he asked in a voice hoarse with grief as he pictured the tall, bony young man with large gray eyes and infectious, lopsided grin.
“Aye, even then,” Elspeth said. “Our days on earth are numbered, lad, and that number known, thankfully, only by God. Was this friend of yours a Christian?”
He nodded. “Rich Florey, my tail gunner. We talked about it sometimes, Rich and Gunny and I. I suppose that’s why we three felt so close. But he was so young. They’re always so young.”
She bowed her head. “Leadership during war is too heavy a burden to be carried alone. I’m sure you prayed for your friend before he was killed, as you must have prayed for all of your young lads. Just remember this. Our precious Lord loves every one of those young lads even more than you do. Trust Him to work out His will in their lives.”
After a few lessons, she startled him by saying, “You’re a marvel, you are, Rob. You’ll have the Scots mastered in no time and then we can begin on the Gaelic.”
“I won’t be here that long. I’ve got an air grou
p to run.”
“But you’ll be back.” She ignored his bemused look and reached for her cane. “Before I go, I want you to tell me about that machinery on your bed. I’ve been meaning to ask about it.”
“Malcolm brought it over from Scotland. That’s a trapeze, so I can pull myself up in bed. Those bars sticking out from under the mattress are to grab onto when I want to lower myself into my chair or pull myself into bed again. Pretty ingenious, isn’t it?”
“It is that. It must have been invented by a Scotsman.”
***
“I can’t believe how quickly you’re learning Scots,” Maggie said several days later, “but you must stop exercising when you should be sleeping.”
“I want to walk. I can catch up on my sleep once I’m on my feet.”
Her blue eyes glittered with irritation. “I know you’re eager to walk, but you’re doing more harm than guid by no’ allowing your muscles to rest. What you’re tearing down by the exercises has to have time to rebuild.”
She was right, but he couldn’t stop himself, even when Elspeth changed the lessons to every other day and spent the entire morning.
***
Late one night, Maggie heard Rob’s groans and found him writhing from cramps in both calf muscles. She pressed his toes upward but the cramps persisted so she untucked the bottom of the sheet and pressed his bare feet against the cold metal bed frame. Within minutes, the spasms eased and he fell back against the pillow, panting.
“You’re soaking wet.” She ran for a face flannel and a bowl of water and bathed his face and arms. “I’ve told you over and over no’ to exercise when I’m no’ here.”
“What makes you think I was exercising?”
“Och, what else would cause such deep cramps?”
When he tried to reply, she pressed her palm over his mouth. “Don’t tell me you were no’ exercising when you’re covered with sweat.”
She would never understand. They had less than two months. He couldn’t quit. A sudden vision of her sailing toward Scotland flashed before his eyes. He turned his head so she couldn’t see his devastation.
“What is it? Have you hurt yourself that badly, then?”
He couldn’t speak.
She sat beside him, cradling him. “Please talk to me, Rob. If you don’t tell me I can’t help you.”
He pulled one arm free to rub the side of his nose. How could he tell her his fears without revealing how much she meant to him—how much he needed her? But he knew if he refused to answer her this time, he could drive her away forever. He took a deep breath to calm his raging emotions. “There’s ... there’s so little time left,” he mumbled.
“Time for what?” she asked. “They’ll surely take you back at Edenoaks no matter how long it takes you to recover.”
“Not Edenoaks. You.”
“Me? What do I have to do with this? I’m here for another ... och, Rob, you’re surely no’ expecting to walk before I leave?”
“I want to, more than anything.”
She framed his face between her palms.
He couldn’t meet her gaze.
“If only you could learn to tell me what it is you want, what it is you need, we could be working together.”
“I can’t. It isn’t only the walking again before you leave. It’s something I promised someone.” Och, he’d done it now.
“I don’t understand. What kind of a promise would require you no’ to share your needs with me, and who would exact such a cruel promise?” Her hand covered her mouth. “Faither,” she whispered.
Though he didn’t allow himself to react, she would demand an explanation.
“What did you promise Faither?” she asked. “If best friends cannot be forthright, their friendship is nothing but a sham, or even worse, a lie, and you’ve told me you don’t lie.”
His throat convulsed as he fought for the right words, any words to put an end to this. He couldn’t mention his promise not to take her away from Innisbraw or the lifetime commitment her father had demanded—not when he was still so torn by the thought of having to give up flying. “I ... I promised him I wouldn’t hurt you and I’ve already broken that promise a hundred times.”
“You’ve never taken advantage of me. The one time you kissed me, I liked it as much as you.”
For one of the few times in his adult life, and the second time in the same conversation, he spoke without thinking. “You don’t understand. You’ll be going back to duty in August. What if I can’t walk by then? I need to see your bonnie face smiling at me—hear your soft voice telling me I can do it, no matter how it hurts. Having you close gives me a reason to work as hard as I can. I want to walk again for you, Maggie—for you.” He froze. He had blurted out his innermost secrets.
The bed shifted as she climbed up beside him. She put her arm around his shoulders and lay down, resting her cheek on his chest. “I’m no’ a bairn, to be protected by half-truths and promises to my faither. I know you’ll walk again but I don’t know when. You’ve told me your fears and I appreciate it, for I didn’t know they involved me. I thank you for the truth. Now we can have a new beginning based on trust.”
“But I—”
“Don’t talk anymore. We’re both verra tired.” She pulled a corner of the cover over herself. “Close your eyes and go to sleep. I’ll be right here.”
***
It was wrong to be lying on the bed next to Rob, even with the covers separating them, but he needed more comforting than a few words could bring. Maggie nestled against his chest. Did he feel more than friendship? He hadn’t said so and he certainly didn’t act like it, but why else would he want to walk for her? She felt a stab of fear. It was too soon. She wasn’t ready for that.
Her thoughts drifted to her growing concern for his safety when he returned to duty. No. No negative thoughts now. She would allow herself the pleasure of relaxing against his warm body and stay with him until he was asleep.
Her eyelids grew heavy and she closed her eyes for just a moment.
***
Rob lay awake long after Maggie’s breathing deepened. He had tried so hard not to allow it to happen, but he was beginning to wonder if Elspeth could be right. Did he love Maggie? He didn’t think so, but he didn’t know what love was supposed to feel like.
He’d met a few local girls who worked near the fighter base he’d been stationed at in England, but his inability to carry on a normal conversation ensured they never got beyond a first uncomfortable date. He’d given up on dating then, decided he’d have to wait until the war was over before trying to find someone he felt comfortable being around.
But Maggie was unlike any woman he had ever met. He breathed in the clean, warm-honey scent of heather that always surrounded her and finally admitted she could be what had been missing from his life.
Oh, God, I really need Your help. I have such a hard time revealing my past. If Maggie and Elspeth are right and You really can hear me and answer my prayers, please help me do the right thing now. I’m afraid I care for Maggie too much and I feel torn. I don’t know for sure I’m going to walk again, and I know I can never take Maggie away from her home. But I can’t bear the thought of not flying when the war’s over. Please help me. Oh, Lord, please help me.
The rising sun tinted the white walls of his room soft orange when he awoke. Lace curtains shivered in the cool morning breeze and the seals barked their guttural greetings on the rocks below Innis Fell. Maggie’s warm breath caressed his neck as lightly as a murmured sigh. She still lay with her arm across his shoulder and her body pressed against his. Even with the covers between them, he could really feel her.
Her black hair lay tangled across the blanket. He picked up a slight curl and brought it to his face, closing his eyes as he rubbed it across his cheek. It reminded him of a crow’s feather he found in the grass when he was a lad—so soft and sleek. He saved that feather for years, trailing it across his face whenever overpowered by feelings of being trapped. It spoke of f
reedom, of soft winds and vivid blue skies, of flying.
A sudden thought brought a shiver of excitement. This must have been the sight that greeted the crofter when he looked at his sleeping Selkie. Did she stay on the island or submit to the siren calls of her Selkie-lover? He’d waited long enough. He had to know.
Maggie stirred. The curl pulled from his fingers as she scooted as far away as she could without falling off the bed. Her eyes widened, cheeks flushed. “Och, I didn’t mean to spend the entire night.”
He should have known she would be embarrassed. “I’m glad you did,” he said, his voice hoarse with sleep—and much more. “It ... it helped.”
He watched her face reflect her inner turmoil, certain the need to comfort him would soon overcome her embarrassment.
She smiled suddenly as she brushed tendrils of hair from her forehead. “How did you sleep?”
“Like a bairnie. I dreamed the verra beautiful Selkie crawled into bed beside me.”
“Och, Rob, you didn’t. How do your calves feel? Sore?”
“What calves?” He looked in wonder at this bonnie lass who gave so much of herself.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m thirsty.” She slid off the bed and reached for her robe—och, dressing gown. “Water or coffee?”
“Water first, then coffee.”
She poured him a glass of water and sat on the bed so she could lift him up. Their hands touched and he shivered when a frisson passed between them.
He drank the water slowly, savoring her closeness, inhaling the fragrance of heather wafting from her skin and hair.
When the glass was empty, she filled it again and took several sips.
Sharing a glass. So intimate. Control yourself, Savage.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Do you want more water?”
He shook his head, not trusting his voice.
She stood and stretched. “If you did dream about the Selkie, which I’m still doubting, ’tis most likely because you heard the seals.”
“You never did finish the story. I need to know if she stayed with the crofter.”
“Of course I’ll finish the tale, but what makes you need to hear it?”
He had to say something to get himself back on the straight and narrow or he would lose control and do something rash. “Since the day is exercise day, you’re going to see a changed man.”