“Don’t want to.”
“Och, if you don’t stop this, I’ll call an orderly to put you back down.”
“What’s the matter? Does one little peck on the cheek constitute a breach of those Regs you’re so determined to follow?”
“This isn’t something to be treated lightly. I’m doing all I can to help you and you’re playing ... playing games.”
“It’s no game, Maggie.”
His soft voice cut through her sharper than a shout. Her cheeks flamed.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
His husky voice brought shivers up and down her arms.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for days. In fact, a kiss from you on my cheek might be exactly what I need to help my recovery.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, I think it—”
She turned, leaned over, and presses her lips to his cheek.
He moved his head, catching her lips with his own.
Soft, so soft. Despite her resolve to pull away, her own lips responded. Something inside melted as she returned his kiss. His fingers caressed her cheek before pulling her face closer. He moaned and she felt her knees weaken as she relaxed against his chest. The scent of the heather soap she had used to shave him that morning was so familiar and comforting, yet her body felt strange—hot and tingly—and she could scarcely breathe. She had never been kissed like this.
“Excuse me.” Doctor McGrath’s voice cut between them.
They instantly drew apart, Maggie’s cheeks aflame.
“I can come back another time.”
Maggie smoothed her hair back from her forehead. “Come in, Faither. We just finished his exercises and Rob needed a wee bit of help sitting up and—”
“And I’m completely responsible for what happened,” Rob said.
“Nonsense,” she exclaimed. “It wasn’t planned. It just happened. What do you want this time of day, Faither?”
“Making early rounds. I have a conference this evening.”
Maggie recognized that tone. His words sounded strangled and his jaws knotted with tension.
“I’m here, ready to be pricked and probed,” Rob said.
There was an edge to his voice she had never heard before.
“No, no, you two seem to be doing fine. I’ll just take a look at your chart.”
“I insist.” Again that sharp edge.
Maggie wanted only to escape. “If you’ll hold him, Faither, I’ll step outside for a breath of fresh air.”
Rob’s fingers brushed her cheek. “Sounds like a good idea.”
She waited until her father had hold of Rob’s shoulders and fled from the room.
***
“Have your say before you explode,” Rob demanded as the door closed behind Maggie.
“We need to talk,” the doctor said. He eased Rob back against the raised pillow and moved his legs onto the bed.
“So, talk. But before you do, I want you to know it was only an innocent kiss, nothing more.”
“I don’t want you taking advantage of my Maggie.”
“Advantage?” Rob exhaled loudly. “Why would I do that? You’ve both been responsible for saving my life.” He closed his eyes for a moment before looking at the doctor. “So that’s it. You think I’m playing with Maggie’s feelings and when I’m tired of her, I’ll just say ‘thanks’ and ‘it’s been nice?’”
“Something like that.”
“So what do you want, Doc? Ask anything of me, only don’t take Maggie away. Without her I’ll never be able to ....” He bit off the words, unable to voice his fears. “She’s the only bright thing in my life right now.” And I can’t bear the thought of losing her forever.
The doctor sat on the edge of the bed. “And in mine.”
Rob eyed him closely. “You’re in the driver’s seat. What do you want me to do?”
“Do you love Maggie?” Doctor McGrath picked at a minuscule stain on his lab coat. “Because, if you don’t, you’ll break her heart. She’s led a sheltered life.”
He’d only known Maggie for a few days. Who would ask such a premature question?
The answer leaped into his mind.
A father.
“Love’s a strong word. I’ve never had any women friends. Never had the time, or to be frank, the social skills.”
Doctor McGrath humphed. “That surprises me.”
“Look, commanding the 396th plus flying lead on so many missions took all my time and concentration. Maggie’s just so easy to be around, I don’t feel like I have to prove anything to her.”
“Of course you don’t. After all, you’re an officer and, therefore, a gentleman.”
“But you prefer a gentle man for your daughter.”
“I do. This war will be over some day. I don’t want to lose her to anyone who would take her far away from the only home she’s ever known, the home she loves with every fibre of her being.”
“Innisbraw.”
“Yes, Innisbraw.”
“She’s a grown woman. How about what she wants?”
“She shouldn’t be torn between her love for a man and her love for her home.”
Though Rob was exhausted, his fear of losing Maggie would not allow him to quit now. “I asked you before, but I’ll do it again. What do you want me to do?”
***
John McGrath tugged at his beard. If he had Maggie reassigned back to an RAF airfield hospital in England, she’d never forgive him for meddling in her life, to say nothing of the negative impact that could have on the colonel’s recovery. But Savage couldn’t stay at the Royal Infirmary for his prolonged therapy. Beds were always in short supply, especially in private rooms. The colonel said he did not love Maggie and he didn’t appear to be lying. Maybe the answer lay in a bold but possibly dangerous alternative. He made up his mind quickly, praying it was not a terrible mistake. “It seems there may be a solution to this muddle after all.”
“Like what?”
“I’ll be leaving on a teaching tour of military hospitals in three weeks. You’ll need intensive therapy for several months, at least. I have a small infirmary on Innisbraw with a rehab room.”
“And you want me to go there? What about Maggie?”
He stared directly into the colonel’s eyes. “She’ll go with you.”
“After all you’ve said, you seem to be putting a lot of trust in me. Why?”
“I’m taking you at your word, Colonel. I don’t want my Maggie hurt.”
“Neither do I.” Rob slumped back against the pillow. “In other words, you’re telling me to keep it strictly a patient-nurse relationship.”
“That’s the only way to ensure she doesn’t get hurt. I’m not certain you’re capable of doing it. If you aren’t, tell me now and I’ll try to come up with another answer.”
“I may be a Yank, but I know how to behave, and I’m no liar,” Rob said, his voice slurred, most likely from exhaustion. “I’ll be a gentleman, that’s a promise.”
“I wouldn’t even suggest it unless I believed that to be true.”
CHAPTER 7
Maggie brushed her long hair and twisted it up into her usual bun. Something had changed between Rob and her. The easy banter that had defined their relationship in the days since his surgery had been replaced during the past two weeks by a stilted politeness on his part and an ever-deepening distress on hers. Had her father said something to him about being too friendly?
He never smiled. When she caught him looking at her, his eyes had lost their green flecks and held that same sadness she had seen when he bid her good-bye the night they danced. He still worked hard but had become so unresponsive, she found it difficult to treat him with the same gentle cheerfulness she used with all her patients.
He never pressed her for the ending to the Selkie tale, and his appetite had dropped, though much of his weight loss could be the result of his aversion to the Scots food they served at the infirmary. He could now drink the Lucozade wi
thout making a face, and she always ordered oat porridge for his breakfast, never kippers, knowing an American would find the salted, smoked fish unpalatable. He refused to even taste the tripe, sweetbreads, or creamed calves’ heads that regularly appeared on the supper trays. He toyed with the boiled cabbage and neeps, though he did seem to enjoy tattie bree, baked rabbit, and mashed tatties.
Desperate to assuage his craving for something sweet when sugar was so tightly rationed, Maggie had asked her father’s head nurse to put out the word. The pantry down the hall from Rob’s room now held several jars of honey and bramble jelly gleaned from the staff’s own cupboards.
She spent hours every night praying for guidance, but nothing she tried broke through his reluctance to talk. Some of it was her fault. Why had she kissed his cheek? She had never been so unprofessional with a patient before. Every time she remembered how soft his lips felt against hers and that moan deep within his throat, she tingled all over, no matter how hard she fought against it. If only she had more experience with lads.
But Rob wasn’t a lad. He was a man, and though his maturity and high military rank sometimes intimidated her, she had thought they were becoming friends. Why had he changed?
She buttoned her hospital dress and pinched her cheeks. Too little sleep had left her looking pale. Even her eyes had lost their usual sparkle. She left her room and plodded down the hall. How could she face another day of such unhappiness?
When she reached Rob’s room, she forced a smile and opened the door. “Guid morning,” she said with feigned brightness. “How did you sleep?”
He lay flat on his back, arm over his eyes. “Lousy.”
She sat down on the bed and pulled his arm away from his face. “We have to talk.”
“Not now, I have a headache.”
“I’ll get you some APCs.” She left the room and returned in a few minutes with the aspirin and a glass of water, but when she attempted to place her arm beneath his shoulders to help him sit up, he pulled away.
“Just crank up the bed. Don’t want you hurting your back.” His hand shook as he reached for the glass.
“Is your headache that bad, then?”
“No. I need to learn to do things for myself. I can’t expect you to be around forever, doing everything for me.”
She was too shocked to say a word.
He glanced at her and quickly looked away. “Please forgive me, Maggie, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
“But you did.” She fought her rising panic. “And you’re right, for I’ll no’ always be at your side. Father has received transfer papers from your commander, but mine was no’ so understanding. I’ve only been given until the end of August before I have to report back to London and it’s my duty to see that you ... that you. . .” Tears filled her eyes. She turned toward the door.
“Don’t go.” His hoarse whisper stopped her. “Please, Maggie, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She wouldn’t let him see how much his cold words had upset her. “I’m going for your wheelchair.”
“Maggie!” he called to her retreating back.
She ran outside and huddled on a bench in the center of the infirmary garden. She had been so terribly mistaken. His coolness the past two weeks had been his way of telling her he only wanted a nurse, not a friend. How could she face him again, let alone continue to be his nurse? As hard as it would be to leave his recuperation to others, perhaps she should ask for a transfer back to an RAF base.
***
Doctor McGrath spent several sleepless nights going over and over his conversation with the colonel about not hurting Maggie. His entire approach seemed to have caused nothing but pain. Not only had he hurt his precious lass, he had set back the lad’s recovery, evidenced by his drop in weight. “You’re an auld fool,” he muttered to himself as he walked toward Rob’s room. “You’ve been so afraid of losing Maggie you’ve forgotten how fine a happy relationship between a lad and lass can be.”
He hesitated outside in the corridor. Och, help me, Heavenly Faither. Give me the words I need to undo my foolishness. He pushed the door open and peeked inside.
Guid, the lad was alone. He walked in and pulled up a chair, clearing his throat. “Well, how are the exercises coming?”
The colonel faced the other way. “All right.”
“Are you able to endure the pain?” John rested his hand on Savage’s shoulder.
“Of course.”
He grasped the colonel’s shoulders and turned him until they were facing one another. The lad’s eyes showed no expression except, perhaps, indifference. “I’ve made a very big mistake.”
Savage’s expression did not change, though a dark shadow bloomed in the depths of his eyes. “I’ll never walk or fly again? What’s taken you so long to tell me?”
McGrath reared back. “Och, nae, lad!” he exclaimed, so startled he used Scots. “This has nowt—och, nothing—to do with your physical progress which is coming along very well. I’m talking about you and Maggie.”
A flicker of pain crossed Savage’s face as he turned to face the wall again. “You’ve had my promise, Doctor McGrath,” he said, voice ragged. “If my behavior still isn’t proper enough to satisfy you, then perhaps it would be kinder to Maggie if you ...” He swallowed. “If you assigned her to another patient.”
“But why? You begged me not to take Maggie away.”
“You’ve taken away everything but her body. Every minute she spends in this room is agony for her. She never laughs, never hums while she’s shaving me. She’s sad—not the happy, optimistic girl with the quick smile and teasing words.”
McGrath leaned back in his chair, frowning. “It isn’t me lying in that bed. It’s you. If she’s unhappy, then it’s you who’s causing it.”
“You got what you asked for,” the colonel said in a husky whisper. “I’m a perfect gentleman. I never touch her, don’t ask for special favors like the stories she used to tell or the songs she sang to put me to sleep, or the scones she often sneaked me late at night. I’m only a patient in need of her care, nothing more.” He winced as though in pain. “My life has been filled with losing those I care about and all I can do is face the fact that she’s another one.”
John bowed his head. “Then perhaps you and I need a new agreement, for it’s obvious you’ve completely misunderstood the first one.”
“I’m tired, Doctor. Maybe another time.”
“All I wanted from you was a promise that you wouldn’t lead my Maggie on, that you wouldn’t promise her true love when that’s not what you feel for her. I didn’t mean you couldn’t be friends.” He leaned forward, praying for the right words. “My Maggie is young. She’s never had any sort of lasting relationship with a lad. But there’s nothing wrong with having a good laugh or her singing to you or telling you stories. She has a keen sense of humour and loves to sing. Can’t you allow her that without promising her something you’re in no position to promise?”
The colonel turned his head. “What can I promise a woman? A walk in a garden or along the beach? Maybe a bike ride through a park? To someday provide her with a home or give her children? Those are only some of the things I can’t promise any woman.”
“I mean a lifelong commitment of love—true love, forever and ever.”
Trolley wheels clattered by in the hallway outside and nurses and orderlies chatted, their occasional laughter muting the sounds of squeaking rubber soles and the rustle of starched uniforms.
The colonel closed his eyes, silent for a moment. “I’ve told you before, I’m not in love with Maggie. For one thing, I haven’t known her long enough, and I’m in no position to allow it even if I had. I care for her a lot and being around her makes me feel like someday, if I do all those exercises, I’ll be able to ...” He rubbed his hands over his face.
John leaned close. “Be her friend again. Someone she can share a laugh with, someone who can greet her in the morning with a smile even if you’ve had a terrible night. Just b
e yourself.”
Savage’s laugh was short and harsh. “You don’t know me or you wouldn’t say that. Even I don’t know what that means.”
“But you know how to laugh and you know how to tease, for I’ve seen you do both.” Sighing, John got up and turned to leave. “Remember this. I know you say you don’t love Maggie now, but if that should change, the only promises I expect you to make and keep are that you won’t commit yourself to her until you know deep within that you intend to keep that commitment for the rest of your life, that you will not hurt her, and that you will never, ever take her away from Innisbraw. I cannot allow that.”
He walked from the room, his heart burdened. Being the father of a grown-up lass without the gentle guidance of her mother was proving much harder than he had ever anticipated. He had a lot of praying to do.
***
Maggie sighed and tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear as she looked out at the garden surrounding her. Spent daffodils wilted on their stems, overpowered by red and yellow tulips just coming into bloom. She had acted like a daft young schoolgirl with no brains and even less common sense when she kissed Rob’s cheek. And the kiss they shared had been only that, a kiss, nothing more. She rubbed her burning cheeks with her palms. No more acting like a foolish schoolgirl, and no running off to another post to escape an uncomfortable muddle of her own making.
If Rob wanted to reply with grunts, that was his privilege. But if he no longer wanted to hear her sing or tell stories, that was just too bad. She’d be herself and treat him the same way she treated every patient—and expect nothing in return.
***
Rob wrestled his demons. Though the thought of never again seeing Maggie’s tender smile or hearing her soft, comforting voice was agonizing, he couldn’t continue to hurt her. He groaned. He didn’t have the slightest idea how to treat a woman. If he acted cold or indifferent, her violet-blue eyes turned dark with distress, but he could not, would not, allow himself to mislead her. He should never have kissed her, no matter how much he wanted to. She was too kind, too tenderhearted to use and then discard if he found himself tied to a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
Could he somehow return to the light bantering they had once shared without stepping over the boundaries set by her father? He repressed another groan. Over three months was a long time to ignore how much he wanted to kiss her again.