Brooman went to answer but there was a sudden cry. They looked up. Dizzy was standing by the swings, holding a hand over her mouth and looking very pale.
'Oh dear,' said his dad, 'I think your darling sister is about to be sick. I knew this would happen.'
Brooman said nothing. While his dad went off to rescue Dizzy, he sat there thinking. And he was thinking, tell this monster you know its second name? To have a second name, you have to have a first name. How did his dad know this monster had a first name?
SIX
That night, he could hardly wait until it was time to go to bed. The whole evening seemed to drag. He was so tired, he didn't feel like doing much, so he just sat and watched television with his mum (Karl didn't like Sonia's bad news and got his own back by going off with someone called Hannah). He was almost glad when his dad glanced up at the clock and said, 'Come on, you two. Bedtime.'
At that, Dizzy leapt up from her favourite game of dressing Buzz Lightyear in Barbie doll clothes and started jumping about excitedly.
'Bedtime-bedtime-it's bedtime!' she shouted.
Anyone would think, thought Brooman as he watched her, that bedtime was something special. She scampered eagerly up the stairs. He trudged up behind her rather less eagerly. They cleaned their teeth, got into their pyjamas and crawled into bed. First, his mum came to say Goodnight then went off to do the same with Dizzy. Meanwhile, his dad was saying Goodnight to Dizzy then coming in to do the same with him. His dad popped his head round the door like he always did.
'Have a good day?' he asked.
Brooman nodded. 'Thanks for lunch, dad,' he added.
'You're welcome. I think we'd better ease up on the pudding next week, though. That was a close shave with Dizzy. She really was very queasy for a while.'
'Yeah, well, she likes treacle pudding.'
'Indeed?Well, goodnight. Sleep well.'
'If I'm allowed to,' Brooman mumbled.
'Hmm.' His dad glanced behind, seemed to be checking that they were perfectly alone. Then he was whispering something, something that Brooman guessed was for his ears only. 'Don't forget what I said. Tell it you know its second name.'
With that, he snapped the light off and closed the door, leaving Brooman to wonder yet again just what his dad knew about such things.
Brooman wanted to sleep. Brooman desperately wanted to sleep. But for some strange reason, he didn't seem able to drop off. He just lay there beneath his duvet and listened to the sounds of the night echoing in the still air.
First, a sudden clatter outside. Then a faint miaow, and he knew it was only next door's cat grubbing around in the dustbin for something to eat. They don't feed that cat enough, he thought absently.
Next, a faint shuffling outside his window. Then a soft click and the creak of a gate, and he knew it was only the man next door the other side coming home from the pub. Should drink a little less, he thought absently.
And so it went on, until well past midnight, Brooman just lying there and listening?hearing things?till finally, well past midnight, he heard the sound of a bedroom door being opened. Then young footsteps padding softly along the landing?stopping outside his own door?and his door opening.
He peered out from beneath his duvet, blinked in the light flooding in from the landing. In the doorway of his bedroom stood a small figure.
'Brooman,' it whispered hoarsely. 'It's back.'
SEVEN
'You stay out here,' he said when they got to her bedroom. 'I'll be back in a moment.'
Before she could utter a word of protest, he'd slipped inside and closed the door softly behind him. In the glow of her bedside lamp, he could see no sign of any monster, but from under her bed came a loud burp accompanied by the telltale curl of black smoke. He crouched down carefully, lifted the edge of the sheet and peered under the bed. There, reclining lazily in all the dust and fluff and all the usual stuff you find under a little sister's bed, was a monster. And as Dizzy had said, exactly as Dizzy had said, it had big red eyes, really pointy horns, big yellow teeth, huge green ears and big hairy hands with long sharp claws. And it smelt of bananas.
Brooman looked at it long and hard before he spoke.
'Hello,' he said eventually.
'Hello,' the monster said back.
'You know, you're supposed to say Pardon me when you burp,' said Brooman.
'Only when there's someone around to say Pardon me to,' said the monster. 'You wouldn't happen to have a banana to hand, would you?'
Brooman blinked back his surprise at being asked for a banana by a monster. He glanced up and around.
'I doubt it,' he said vaguely. 'In here, anyway-Oh, wait a minute, I think you might be in luck.'
He got up and crossed the floor to Dizzy's schoolbag, opened it and rummaged around inside.
'Mum always gives her a banana in her lunchbox,' he said, 'but she never eats it-Ah, here it is!'
He took the banana back and thrust it under the bed. The monster took it?peeled it?took the inside out?and started rubbing it into its fur.
'Uh?why are you doing that?' said Brooman.
'What do you mean, why am I doing this?' said the monster. 'What else does one do with a banana?'
'What indeed?' murmured Brooman. He waited till the monster had finished then asked the question he most wanted to ask just then. 'Why are you scaring Dizzy?'
'I hate to sound obvious, dear boy,' said the monster as he tossed the skin away, 'but scaring little sisters is what we monsters do.'
'Is that so? Well, I'd like you to stop, please.'
'Why should I?' said the monster. 'It's easy work and I quite enjoy it, actually.'
'I'm sure it is,' said Brooman crossly, 'but I'm losing sleep. Every time you scare her, she comes and wakes me up to come and get rid of you.'
'Yes, I wondered where she kept disappearing off to,' said the monster. 'Well, now you're here, get rid of me.'
Brooman studied this monster for a long moment. It looked faintly pleased with itself. As well it might, because now Brooman was here, he didn't have the faintest idea of how to go about getting rid of a monster, any monster. Then he remembered something, something he should have remembered all along.
'I know your name,' he said quietly.
'I'm sure you do,' said the monster. 'I did, after all, tell your darling sister.'
'You did,' said Brooman, 'but I also know your second name.'
At that, the monster began to look a little worried. 'Oh, you do, do you?' it said.
'I do,' said Brooman, encouraged.
'You, er?you wouldn't tell anyone, would you?'
'On one condition,' said Brooman.
'Er?no?you don't need to tell me,' said the monster. 'I understand. You pop outside and I'll just leave quietly, shall I?'
'You do that,' said Brooman.
He got up and made his way back to the door. As he reached it, he stopped and looked back. The monster was peering out at him from under the bed. It still looked faintly worried.
'You really won't tell anyone, will you?' it said.
Brooman didn't answer. He just smiled mysteriously and opened the door.
EIGHT
'Is the monster really gone?' said Dizzy as she clambered back into bed.
'Really gone,' said Brooman.
'Really really gone?'
Really, really gone.'
'Will it come back?'
'Nah,' said Brooman. 'It said that scaring you was too easy so it's gone back to scaring Marvin's little sister instead. It said it liked the challenge.'
'Scaring me is not too easy!' said Dizzy indignantly. 'It's just that it was a horrible monster!'
'I'm sure it was. I'll see you in the morning.'
'It really was a horrible monster,' he heard her whisper again as he pulled her bedroom door shut. He just smiled.
He trudged back to his room, feeling strangely weary as well as tired. He would be glad to get back to bed, to get some sleep of his own. But as he settled beneath hi
s duvet, he heard footsteps on the landing again. Oh no?
His bedroom door opened and a face peered round it. But this time, the face did not belong to Dizzy.
'Hi,' said his dad.
'Hi,' said Brooman. 'Did we wake you?'
'Not at all.' His dad slipped in and closed the bedroom door softly behind him. 'So,' he went on, 'like father, like son, eh?'
'Uh?'
His dad laughed. 'Come on, Brooman, you must have guessed by now. I know all about monsters and ghosts and goblins and things.'
'But-but how?'
'Your Aunt Magenta.'
'You mean-'
His dad nodded. 'She was my little sister, just as Dizzy is yours. And just as Dizzy wakes you now, your Aunt Magenta would wake me then with some tale about something or other that was terrorising her. And I'd have to go and deal with it, just like you have to.'
'I see,' said Brooman, beginning to understand. He grinned. 'I bet Aunt Magenta never came up with some tale, though, about a monster with big red eyes, really pointy horns, big yellow teeth, huge green ears, big hairy hands with long sharp claws and smelling of bananas.'
'Oh, you mean Cedric.'
'You know about Cedric?' said Brooman, astonished.
'Oh, yes. He's been hiding under little sisters' beds for years. Yes, I know Cedric. Look, it's late. We'll talk more in the morning. There's a lot I've got to tell you, a lot you'll need to know if you're to deal with monsters and suchlike. Get some sleep.'
His dad turned to pull the door open. Even as he did so, Brooman felt a sudden need to ask him something, something that had been bothering him all afternoon and most of the evening.
'Dad,' he said, 'what is so special about a monster's second name?'
His dad shrugged. 'I've no idea. All I know is that they're terrified of anyone getting to hear it.'
'Right. So you didn't actually know Cedric's second name, then.'
'No. But then, I didn't need to. Goodnight.'
His dad winked at him and was gone. Brooman settled beneath his duvet again. He felt sleepy. He also felt excited. He felt like he'd just been let in on some fabulous secret that only he and his dad could share. Monsters? Mysterious happenings? Little sisters that go bump in the night?
Life, he thought, had just got a whole lot more interesting?
~oOo~
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