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Now she could. Maybe this was what her life was supposed to be dedicated to. Or maybe that desire she’d always had to serve others was something in her genes. Either way, she couldn’t turn away from Drake and his people. Her people now.
Her choices were few. She could hold Drake’s decisions against him and spend whatever time she had left being angry at a man she was tied to, or she could forgive him for doing what he thought was right and accept where fate had led her. In the end, staring at the proof of so many lives sacrificed, it wasn’t a hard decision.
She said, “I don’t have much time left. ” When he started to argue, she covered his mouth with her hand. “No. Just listen. I want us to find Kevin’s sword. ”
His arms fell to his sides and he took a step back. Air cooled her back and she missed having the comfort of his warmth. “So you can be free of me. ”
Helen turned and looked him in the eye. She’d hurt him and she hadn’t meant to. He had to know she was telling the truth. “No. I want to find Kevin’s sword so it can hang here with the rest. ”
Relief relaxed the tension in his angular features. “Kevin’s sword was swallowed by a kajmela. The only way to get it back is to kill the thing, and the only way to kill it is with fire. Magic fire. ”
Just hearing the word made her flinch, and her stomach burn. “Are you sure?”
“We’ve been fighting them for centuries. I’m sure. ”
Helen wasn’t sure she could do it, but she had to try. Maybe this was where her vision would inevitably lead her. Her destiny. She would take the kajmela up in flames right along with her, and Kevin’s sword would be recovered. Somehow that seemed better than dying for no reason at all.
She squared her shoulders and prayed for courage. “Okay. Let’s go play with fire. ”
Chapter 17
Logan stayed in the shadows, unwilling to let Drake see him watching Helen. He would give Drake a few days to cool off before he approached Helen for more blood. He’d nearly used up the power in the blood she’d already given him. Drake’s injuries had taken much of it and Project Lullaby had taken the rest. Only hours after feeding, his gut was already twisting with hunger again.
Good thing he’d had centuries to learn to live with it.
“You’re right. She’s a failure,” said Gilda as she watched Helen struggling to call even the smallest wisp of flame to her hand.
Gilda was as beautiful as she was deadly, with long hair that flowed in rich, black waves that ended at her hips. Her skin was fair and untouched by the passing of centuries. Only a few silvery strands, the same color as her silk gown, glinted in her hair to give away her advanced age.
Helen’s body shook with effort as she tried to make fire appear from thin air. Drake stood beside her on the wooden dock jutting into the lake. Logan was sure that Drake had chosen the location solely to ease Helen’s fears. How could fire be a threat when so much water was literally underfoot? Drake held his hand against the nape of her neck in an effort to ease the flow of power between them. It didn’t seem to be doing any good.
“I didn’t say she was a failure. I said she’d never be able to call fire. That part of her is broken and can never be mended. ”
“You’re one of the most gifted healers on the face of this planet and yet you cannot heal her. ”
“No. Whatever is broken inside her has been that way since before she was born. She was created with this flaw. ”
“Why?” demanded the Gray Lady. She didn’t even stand as tall as Logan’s shoulder, but he knew that her diminutive form was deceiving. The Theronai’s power grew with age and Gilda was the most powerful female Sentinel left alive. Not that she had much competition.
“I don’t know why,” he told her honestly.
“Find out. ” It was not a request. “If she cannot be healed, then she will kill Drake as she did Thomas. ”
“She killed Thomas? Who told you such a thing?” Drake never would have told Gilda that, even if it was the truth. He would protect Helen from scrutiny as well as danger.
A touch of sadness shimmered in Gilda’s black eyes. “I took the memory from Thomas’s sword. I saw what happened. If she had been able to do her job, those two kajmelas would have gone up in flames within seconds. Thomas intervened to save her and it cost him his life. ”
“That was his choice. Helen never would have asked it of him. ” Logan had read that much of her character when he’d been walking her memories.
The Gray Lady whirled around and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Her face was smooth, but Logan could see a furious, dangerous anger lurking in her too-dark eyes. She was no match for his physical strength, but Logan didn’t dare struggle. Even though Logan couldn’t see him, Angus would be nearby—within striking distance—and would kill Logan if he so much as mussed her hair.
“She should have killed the kajmela herself, not let it take Thomas from us,” said Gilda.
Logan wouldn’t fight her, but he wouldn’t let Helen be blamed for something that wasn’t her fault. “There was no way she could have known what to do. Her ignorance was Drake’s fault. Not hers. ”
“Would you have me slay him for his mistake and bond her to Paul?”
“No. Of course not. ”
“Then what do you suggest, leech?”
Leech. Logan couldn’t help the way his hands curled into fists at her insult. He clenched his teeth to keep from shouting at her. “I suggest nothing. I came here out of respect because I thought you should know what I learned. The peace between our races is fragile and I, for one, believe that it is important we foster that peace. ”
Gilda released his shirt and looked back at Helen as if nothing had happened between them. She offered no apology for her behavior or insult.
“She is a liability,” said Gilda.
“She is a miracle. The first female Theronai born in over two hundred years. Maybe there are more like her. ”
“Have you learned her lineage?”
“No. Gordon is working on it. I gave him a sample of her blood and he said he can’t remember tasting anything quite like it. ”
“If he learns anything, you will tell me immediately,” ordered Gilda.
Logan said nothing. He would not promise her anything unless he was forced. Experience had taught him that uncomfortable lesson.
Fortunately, she was too wrapped up in watching Helen struggle to realize he hadn’t agreed.
Logan slipped back into darkness without a sound. He had too much work to do tonight to spend any more time with the Theronai. He had his own people to worry about. For the first time in centuries, the Sanguinar had hope and Helen’s blood was the key.
Drake wasn’t going to let Helen push herself any harder tonight. They’d been working for over an hour and so far she hadn’t managed so much as a single spark. She was killing herself trying to break through her fear of fire, and nothing good was coming of it. Her desperate frustration was killing him.
“Enough,” he told her as he pulled his hand away from her neck to break the connection. His ring buzzed in irritation at the loss of the direct link, but he ignored it.
“Just a little more,” she panted. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were bloodshot, her thin T-shirt was clinging to her curves with sweat, and her whole body vibrated with fatigue.
Drake wanted to tuck her into a nice soft bed and let her sleep for about ten hours. Right after he made her come for him again. He was dying to hear her sweet moans of release and see her body shudder from the pleasure he’d given her. He wanted to hold her in his arms while her body quieted and drifted off to sleep. He wanted that feeling of contentment that came along with knowing he’d cared for her in every way possible. Maybe it was selfish, but he wanted it anyway.
“No more,” he said gently. The last thing he needed was for her to go all stubborn on him, refusing to listen to reason. “You’ve already pushed yourself too far tonight. You only slept a
few hours today and you need your rest before we try again. ”
“There isn’t time,” she told him. Her breathing still hadn’t evened out, but she found enough energy to give him a fierce stare. “You said that if Nicholas found a lead on where that kajmela had gone, we’d need to move on it right away. You said those things relocate every night and that our only chance to find it would be to pounce as soon as we could. ”
“I also said that the kajmela could only be killed with fire, and you’re a long way from making that happen. Wearing yourself down like this isn’t helping. ”
“There has to be another way to kill it. Has anyone ever tried dynamite?”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“No. Let’s blow the thing to hell. ”
“That won’t kill it. It would make a mess and we’d have a dozen smaller ones to fight. We have to use fire. I’m sorry, love. ”
“What if I can’t?” she asked him in a quiet voice.
Gilda’s soft voice drifted in from the darkness. “Then you are of little use to us beyond easing our warriors’ pain. ”
Gilda, the Gray Lady, stepped out of the shadows. Her small form was draped in a long, flowing dress of dove gray silk. A few strands of silver sparkled in her jet-black hair, which was left loose around her shoulders. The wind stirred her hair, but did not muss it. Not even the wind dared anger someone as powerful as the Gray Lady.
Drake had no idea how old she was, but as far as he knew, she and Angus were the oldest living Theronai on earth. Drake’s grandparents had learned at her knee—both magic and fear.
Drake had always respected Gilda as his elder as well as a formidable ally, but he couldn’t let her beat Helen down any further. “You know that’s not true,” he said to her in a tone as respectful as he could manage.
Gilda’s dark brows arched high. “I know no such thing. Fire is among the most basic of skills. Many of the Synestryn fear it. It will kill all but a few of their kind. If she can’t even master that small feat, then she would serve us best staying here and tending our wounded. ”
“We have dozens of Sanguinar to play nursemaid. We need Helen on the battlefield. ”
“Do you truly believe that?” she asked Drake. Then she turned to Helen. “Do you believe your place is in battle, child?”
Helen looked at Drake as if searching for guidance. He had none to give her, but he twined his fingers through hers, reminding her that he was on her side.
Helen gave a little shrug. “My whole world has changed in the past twenty-four hours. I don’t know what my place is anymore. ”
Gilda nodded her head in acknowledgment, and her black eyes glittered in the dim light. “Well said. Let me give you an example of what might be expected of you and then you will be better educated and able to decide how you can best serve our cause. ”
Drake knew Gilda well enough to guess she was not planning an educational session for Helen’s benefit. She was trying to prove her theory that Helen had no place at his side. Drake couldn’t let Gilda shake Helen’s tenuous confidence like that. “Don’t do this, Gilda. She’s not ready for this. ”