He was asking all the questions I had been wondering my whole life.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. No one does.”
“Well, what does your uncle say about it?”
I sighed. “Nothing. He doesn’t like to talk about it. Getting answers out of him is like pulling teeth, they don’t come easy.”
Carter rocked back on his heels. “Seems kind of strange, doesn’t it?”
“The fire?” I asked. “Those things happen.”
“Not the fire. The fact that you made it out and your parents didn’t.”
It did seem strange, but I was too young to remember how I got out. The nightmares bring some of the memories back, but it was difficult making any sense of it all.
“I wish I could remember.”
“Can’t you look over the police report or something?”
“My uncle said he’s already done that.”
Carter rolled his eyes. “What good is that if he isn’t willing to share it with you?”
I crossed my arms and shifted uncomfortably. “You think he’s lying to me? He wouldn’t do that. He’s taken care of me since I was little. He wouldn’t lie to me.”
Carter shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. I just think you deserve answers.”
I did deserve to know the answers to my questions. They were my parents. If anyone had the right to that information, it was me.
“I’m not trying to stir up conflict,” he said. “It’s just that I can relate.”
“Your mom?”
He nodded. “You know, she’s not dead.”
“But, I thought you said…”
“I said she was gone… and she is. She left when I was young. Not much older than you were when you lost your parents.”
His gaze fell to the ground.
I placed my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
We were quiet for a while, letting the silence heal our freshly opened wounds.
“Carter,” I said. “Why did she leave?”
His face paled, drained of emotion. He turned and walked to the edge of the clearing and looked down at the water.
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”
He turned back to me with glassy eyes.
“It’s getting late,” he said. “We should go.”
He hurriedly shoved the blanket inside the duffle bag and started back down the path. I looked up at the sky where the green glow was slowly dissipating into the night. It was strange how such wonderful things could appear so quickly and then disappear just as fast.
The drive home was quiet, but tense. His jaw was clenched and his posture ridged. I no longer felt the warmth radiating from his body. In fact, sitting next to him felt cold and distant.
Why did I have to open my mouth and ruin everything?
Carter pulled up to my house and I waited for him to look at me, but he didn’t. Instead, he just stared ahead blankly as though he was in some sort of trance.
I opened my door and stepped out. “Well… goodnight.”
“Did you like the northern lights?”
I smiled. “They were perfect.”
He nodded and stared forward again.
I shut the door and walked up the path to the porch. I hadn’t heard the engine rev, so I could only assume he was watching me, waiting for me to be safely inside before driving off.
I tiptoed up the staircase and into my room. I didn’t bother flicking on the lights, there was no need. I pulled back the covers and crawled into bed.
My limps fell heavy against the Pillow Top mattress. My body felt like it was filled with sand and within seconds I could feel my consciousness slipping away. I didn’t fight it. Instead, I embraced it with one question circling my mind.
How did I escape the fire that claimed both of my parent’s lives?