As Gabriel slowly walked around the underground room, staying close to the wall and avoiding eye contact, he felt reminded of his old school. A place where no one knew who he was and no one would have missed him if he wasn't there. Glancing around a corner, Gabriel approached the dance floor to avoid getting to close to the punch table where a throng of people stood talking. As he looked up to keep his feet on the rocky floor as steady as possible, Gabriel spotted a familiar ghostly face dancing with another quite familiar, bandage-wrapped face. Squinting his eyes, he found himself looking at Jordan and Liam as they danced together to the fast beat pulsing through the dome-like cavern.
See? I told you they liked each other.
Hearing Hannah's voice, Gabriel flinched. He couldn't help himself, but looked around, searching for her glowing eyes in the dark room.
Don't bother. I'm just one light of many in here.
Raising his eyes to the ceiling, Gabriel scanned the thousands of lights imitating the night sky, hoping to spot the tiny firefly that had kept him company for the past few months whenever he'd needed her.
Can you focus here?
"On what?" Gabriel mouthed, trying not to move his lips, although with the noise and the scratchy beard covering half his face, he felt certain that no one would see him speaking to himself.
Liam and Jordan, of course!
Gabriel shrugged. "Okay, they like each other. Is that a problem? Why are you so fixated on that?"
It's not a problem for me, but for him.
"Him?" Gabriel asked. His eyes swept across the dance floor. As they reached the huge boulder they'd hid behind not long ago, he saw Jack leaning against it. Even with the dark camouflage paint covering his face, Gabriel could tell that he was upset. "Why does this bother him? Liam is his best friend, and he clearly adores Jordan–even though she drives him crazy."
A faint giggle reached his ear. I don't think he would like to see Liam with anyone.
Unable to look at her, Gabriel frowned into the dark, picturing her face. As he turned to look at Jack again, and saw the pain in his eyes, the way he glanced at the ground by his feet, only to turn back to the couple now slow-dancing in the middle of the dance floor, he finally understood what Hannah was suggesting.
Thought you'd never get it! Hannah giggled again. Seems like the two Sharpes have a lot in common!
Before Gabriel could reply, a big commotion started to the left of the cavern. Rumbling voices grew in intensity, bumping off the walls and drowning out every other sound there was. As people froze in their movements, their eyes zoomed in on a group of people arguing by the punch table. Following their stares, Gabriel found another quite familiar face, no Spiderman mask covering it, circled by a group of angry-looking seniors. Eddie.
The music stopped.
"How did you get here?" an upset senior with fangs and fake blood dripping from his mouth snarled at Eddie.
Unimpressed, Eddie just shrugged. "We rode our bikes."
The vampire's eyes bulged. "We?" He looked around, scanning the crowd. "We who? How many are there?"
Eddie grinned. "Well, I'm not sure I should tell. You know, revealing someone else's secret?"
The vampire looked like he was about to charge Eddie when Jack stepped forward, taking off his helmet. "It's us," he said, gesturing to the rest of them to step forward as well. Seeing Liam and Jordan reveal their faces and approach the group, Gabriel followed their example.
"Jack?" the vampire said, again eyes bulging in shock. "How?"
But Jack shook his head. "Not important." He looked around at the others. "I guess now that we are busted, we should go."
A zombie with a half-rotten face pushed past the vampire, first staring at Eddie and Jack, before he turned back to his classmate. "Did you tell them the location? Jason, if you did, ..."
This time Gabriel's eyes went wide as realization hit him. The vampire had looked familiar. It was Jack and Jordan's brother. The brother they had followed. The brother who had lead them to the cave because Jordan had slipped her cell phone into his bag.
Coming to stand beside Eddie, Jack shook his head. "He had nothing to do with this! I swear! Just...we'll leave and you can go back to your party."
"But I don't want to leave!" Eddie whined.
"Shut up!" Jack snapped.
"But I want to see which costume wins," Eddie objected, pointing at the many creepy couples eying him with a mixture of annoyance and confusion, plus a hint of hostility. "I'm not going home now!"
Jack's eyes narrowed. "Listen–"
Stomping his foot like a three-year old, Eddie took a step forward. "How about this? If you let us stay, only for tonight, we will not share this location with the rest of the school when we tell them of our success in locating your party!"
"What?" echoed through the cavern as dumbfounded seniors, only know realizing the implications, stared at Eddie, eyes wide in shock.
Looking a bit defeated, Jack pulled Eddie back. "Listen," he spoke to his brother as well as the zombie next to him, "there is no way you can keep him from telling his story. No threat or bribe would work, believe me, I'm speaking from experience." He looked at Eddie and shook his head. "Take his offer. It's the best you're going to get."
Still looking angry, the seniors exchanged glances, then stared at Eddie and Jack for a long time. After a while, they simply nodded. Jason waved his hand and the music turned back on, drowning out all other sounds. As the seniors one by one returned to the more cheerful parts of the night, Gabriel saw Jason and Jack exchanging words before gesturing to his friends to come closer. "All right, we stay for another hour," he looked at Eddie with stern eyes, "and then we'll leave." Again his eyes shifted to Eddie. "You can tell the tale, but nothing about this cave or anything that might be a clue leading others here, am I understood?"
Grinning, Eddie nodded. "Let's get this party started then!" And gone he was.
Chapter 10 – Jack’s Secret
After the Halloween party Gabriel felt reminded of when they had solved the riddles during the summer and found the wristbands reserved for overachievers. Students stared at them the second they entered school grounds, and Gabriel knew that Eddie had spun his little tale. Everywhere he went, eyes turned to him and the others. Whispers followed them, and by the end of the school day, they were once again eyed with a mixture of awe and confusion. How had they done it?
Eddie, however, had not shared the location of the cave with anyone, and Gabriel was relieved that no new trouble lay in wait for them. It had been a little touch and go, when a junior had questioned whether their heroic endeavor only existed in Eddie's imagination. Eddie, however, had kept his cool and enlisted the help of a senior. After he had confirmed their story, the junior dropped it. Gabriel couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable though. After all it was blackmail; confirm my story, or I'll give away your secret location.
Everything had turned out all right, until Gabriel's attention turned from their Halloween quest to the quest's commanding officer.
Jack's sullen face followed Gabriel everywhere. He wondered why he hadn't seen it before. Had Jack only been upset since the Halloween party? Or had Gabriel just not seen it before? In that case, would this make him a bad friend? The fact that he just hadn't noticed? And yet, none of the others had noticed either. Or had they? Confusing thoughts ran through Gabriel's head day and night. Hannah bugged him too. She insisted Gabriel go talk to Jack, and although Gabriel wanted to–he just couldn't bear looking at Jack's sad face any longer–he didn't know how. For days he put talking to Jack off, until a cloudy afternoon when Jordan and Liam left together after school, and Jack stayed behind.
Reluctantly, Gabriel approached his friend. He didn't really know how to begin, but the way things were right now, he knew that something had to be done. For a while now, in moments he felt no one was looking, Jack's face had been a mask of anguish. He rarely smiled, but often averted his eyes and gritted his teeth as though the world before him was too painful to l
ook at.
As Gabriel cleared his throat, Jack spun around, eyes wide. "I didn't hear you," he grumbled as he recognized Gabriel. "What are you doing here?"
"I...eh," Gabriel started. For a second he had to gather his courage. Emotional confrontations were not his strong suit. "I wanted to talk to you."
"About what?"
Carefully observing his friend, Gabriel simply said, "Liam."
Instantly Jack's eyes turned to the ground, but not before Gabriel saw a sad smile cross his face. Then Jack lifted his head again, and there it was, fixed in place, the mask he wore in public; the mask that covered what he really felt. This mask was one of cheerfulness and mild interest. "What about him?" Jack asked, his voice suggesting almost nothing of his inner turmoil.
Looking at Jack's face, Gabriel saw his friend was determined to hide the feelings that so plagued him, and so he decided on a blunt approach. "About what he means to you."
In the next second, a variety of emotions played over Jack's face. From fear over nervousness to suspicion and then settling on confusion. All the while his body seemed tense to the point of pain, as though his sinews and muscles would snap if he dared to loosen his hold on them. "What do you mean?" he asked. "We’re friends." His voice again vibrated with mild curiosity, but his brows were drawn and his jaw clenched.
"Look," Gabriel said, unwilling to draw this out any longer. "I know how you feel about him." Jack's eyes slowly widened. "You care about him like...like he cares about Jordan."
For a second Jack just stared at him, then he swallowed hard. "We’re friends," he said, his voice shaky. "Like him and Jordan are too."
Gabriel smiled encouragingly. "I know this must be scary for you, and I promise I won't say a word. To anyone."
Jack shook his head, his eyes shifting to the ground. "I don't know what you mean," he murmured as he turned away. "We're all just friends."
"Yes," Gabriel agreed. "We're all friends. That's why I came to talk to you. It's awful to see you so sad." He walked around Jack to make his friend look at him. "I just want you to know that I'm your friend and that you can talk to me."
A short, yet unconvincing laugh escaped Jack as he shook his head. "Thanks, but there is nothing to talk about. I don't really know what you mean." A hint of fear shone in his eyes, and Gabriel knew that his friend was afraid that he would not believe him, that he would not drop the subject. For a moment Gabriel considered just walking away and granting Jack's wish, but he realized that that would be selfish. In the long run, Jack would appreciate a friend he could confide in.
"I know you're scared," Gabriel said. "And I can understand that, so..." He took a deep breath. "I'll tell you a secret of mine so you'll know I'll never tell yours. Okay?"
Jack looked up, honest curiosity in his eyes. "You have a secret?"
Gabriel nodded. "Sometimes it scares me, and I haven't told anyone." For a second he turned away, gathering courage, and then looked back at his friend. "Do you promise not to tell anyone?"
Again Jack nodded. "I swear."
"Okay. Good," Gabriel said, and once again decided on a direct approach. "I talk to Hannah."
A confused frown appeared on Jack's face and he looked at Gabriel, waiting for a further explanation. When none came, he asked, "How do you talk to her? She...she's..."
"Dead," Gabriel finished for him. "I know. That's the scary part." Wringing his hands, he started pacing. "But I hear her voice. She answers me, like she used to when..." His voice trailed off.
Jack nodded. "How long?"
"Since after the funeral," Gabriel explained. "I went to the cemetery at night, and I saw her." Jack's eyes opened wide. "No, I mean...not her. Not her ghost or anything," he hastened to clarify. "There was a firefly there, and...it spoke to me. It was her voice, the way she talked, the way she laughed. Everything was like her. Is like her. I still speak to her."
"That is scary," Jack agreed, and as he looked at Gabriel a hint of relief shone on his face. "I'm glad you told me. And no one else knows?"
Gabriel shook his head. "What would they think of me? I don't really know what to think myself." Again he looked at his hands. "Actually, it was Hannah who encouraged me to come and talk to you."
Again Jack stared at him, before averting his eyes. "She did?"
"She saw you were in pain," Gabriel explained. "She made me see it too."
For a moment Jack didn't say anything, just stared into the distance, and Gabriel was sure he would deny his feelings again. But then Jack looked up at him, and the mask was gone. "I don't know what to do," he said, his face distorted painfully. "Is there something wrong with me?"
Gabriel shook his head vehemently. "No. No, there is not," he assured his friend. "You are who you are, and you feel what you feel. There is nothing wrong about that."
Jack snorted. "I'm sure many people would disagree," he said, bobbing his head up and down. "They would see me as a freak, and they'd...they'd say that what I feel is disgusting." Shaking his head, he started wringing his hands. "I'm not sure they'd be wrong."
"They would be wrong," Gabriel said, his voice steady. "No one gets to choose who they are. Just like no one gets to choose the color of their eyes, no one can choose who to love. It's not up to us. The only thing we can choose is what we do." Feeling somehow empowered, Gabriel took a step toward his friend and placed a hand on Jack's shoulder. "You are my friend, and I will stand by you. No matter what anyone says."
And for the first time in weeks, a real smile shone on Jack's face.
***
"Not hungry?" his grandfather's voice cut into his thoughts. "Is it the food? Or is there something on your mind?"
As Gabriel looked up, he found his grandparents eying him carefully. While his plate still held most of his stack of pancakes, his grandparents' looked like they had been licked clean. Forcing a bite down his throat, Gabriel shook his head. "No, nothing."
Without another word, his grandmother rose from her chair and, placing a hand on her husband's shoulder, she looked down into his eyes in a way that made Gabriel feel like a secret conversation was carried on right before his eyes, one he wasn't privy to. Then she smiled at Gabriel and with a last pat on his shoulder left the room.
"So," his grandfather started as the door closed. "What's up?"
Gabriel shrugged, not sure if denying the truth would work. "Why? Nothing," he tried nonetheless.
"Oh c'mon, tell me! I promise I won't say a word." His grandfather leaned back in his chair, eying his grandson through narrowed eyes. "What's troubling you?"
Slumped down in his chair, Gabriel turned his gaze to the half-eaten pancakes on his plate. "I promised not to say anything."
His grandfather nodded. "I see." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Well, then how about I tell you what I think and you just let me know if I'm on to something?"
"Okay," Gabriel sighed, wondering if his grandfather knew more than he let on.
"Good." Sitting back in his chair once again, his grandfather put a finger to his lips as though trying to solve a complicated equation. "Let's see, you've been acting weird ever since you guys crashed the seniors' Halloween party–"
"What?" Gabriel felt the blood drain from his face. "You know about that?"
His grandfather grinned at him, then he leaned forward and, casting a careful eye around the kitchen, whispered, "Did you really think you were the first ones to do that?"
Gabriel's eyes popped open and an answering smile spread across his face. "You? Really?"
"Hey, back in the day, me and my gang we did some pretty daring stuff too." He winked at him. "We had our moments, yes, but let's not get sidetracked here. This is about you and what's going on." Gabriel's face darkened a little. "Don't worry, I'm sure you didn't do anything stupid, but ever since that party you seem different. Like something happened that changed things." Again his grandfather scratched his head. "A few days later you came home and...I'm not sure how to say this, but you looked like you were carry
ing the weight of the world on your shoulders."
"I did?" Gabriel wondered.
His grandfather nodded. "You sure did."
"Why didn't you say anything then?"
His grandfather shrugged. "It looked like you needed time."
"Then why are you asking now?"
"Because I think you could use some advice, and because I think that you shouldn't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let me help you. I'm stronger than I look," his grandfather said with a twinkle in his eyes. "Listen, don't tell me if you were sworn to secrecy, but neither should you let a secret steal your smile. You look troubled, not happy. Not the way you did before."
Gabriel nodded, realizing how much he wanted to talk about what had happened. More than anything he wanted his grandfather's advice. "Something happened with Jack," he whispered, not sure how much to say. "It's nothing bad. It's just that that night at the Halloween party I realized that Jack...likes someone, but..." His voice trailed off.
"Not the right someone?" his grandfather asked, nodding knowingly. "That sure is tough! I thought it might be something like that. You know, when I was your age I fell in love for the very first time."
"You did?"
"Sure did. She was the prettiest girl in the entire school, and she wouldn't have anything to do with me."
Gabriel's eyes opened wide, and he scooted closer with his chair. "Really? What did you do?"
His grandfather shrugged. "There wasn't much I could do...although that didn't keep me from trying. For weeks, I offered to carry her books, left flowers on her doorstep and wrote her little messages. But nothing worked."
"And then?" Gabriel asked. "What did you do then?"
"There was nothing I could do," his grandfather went on. "She simply didn't care for me the way I cared for her. It wasn't her fault, just like it wasn't mine. There was nothing I could have done to make her feel differently."
"It wasn't Grams, was it?"
His grandfather laughed. "No, it wasn't. Although she didn't like me at first, either. Luckily for me, that did change after all."