I quietly, secretly, remained at the back door as Daddy finished up his stories; listening intently. I was less interested in the stories really, I mean I've heard plenty of them at the dinner and breakfast tables, than I was interested in the underlying concerns Daddy had. Also, how Daddy's problems would impact Momma. I guess you could say I was bein' nosey; but, it would eventually take a toll on my life as well. Right? And Johnny's. So I rationalized my sneaky behavior.
"John, I'm sorry things have been rough for you recently," Momma's voice oozed sincerity; always the dutiful wife.
"Yeah," replied Daddy softy. I couldn't see him but I pictured him with his head hung low; appearing to be completely spent emotionally. Funny how one word can say so much.
"What do you plan to do about it," Momma jumped right to action.
"Do about it?"
"Yeah John, what are you gonna do to answer the concerns of the town folk? I mean they do have valid concerns. Don't they?" Momma didn't sound so supportive anymore. She had to realize she sounded a bit like she was pushin' Daddy.
"Hell Katherine! You sound just like ole' Jerry and Allen. I thought at home, at least at home, I would get some sympathy." It wouldn't be often that Daddy would ask for an emotional hand out; like sympathy.
"Sympathy? John get a grip. I love you and of course I sympathize with you on how stressful things have been, but that doesn't mean that something doesn't need to be done. You know that. You know the law can't just rest 'cause things get tough. You've got a duty to enforce the law and investigate and find out what happened in that "accidental" hit and run. See if it's more than that." Momma sounded like she moved in the room, probably closer to Daddy, maybe took his hand in hers or something. "John, you've got a responsibility; a duty." At least Momma's tone was supportive, while her words might be interpreted as pushy.
"Don't I know it Katherine ? don't I know. My duty screams at me twenty-four seven. That's law enforcement. A thankless task. If there's no crime, well then you've really done nothing as the Chief of Police 'cause that's what ever'body expects anyways. If there is crime then they want to hang you from the nearest tree."
"I know John ? I know," Momma whispered, I barely heard her say it.
"Well I guess I'll just have to fight through the BS, or ignore it ? get to the bottom of the hit and run and shut ever'body up."
"It's not everybody John, it's just a few folks really. Right?" Daddy probably nodded, but I couldn't see. "It just feels like a lot 'cause the ones that are concerned seem to be speakin' up pretty loudly. Right?" Momma was trying to get Daddy to listen to reason; to reason his way out of his stress. A good thought, but I've found that often doesn't work. No instead you just have to fight through it. You can waste a lot of time just tryin' to make sense of other folk's thoughts and feelings.
"They sure are speakin' out loudly, and believe me Katherine ? I hear them." Daddy sounded more confident now, like he was ready to attach the problems at hand.
"I hear them too John, both around town and from you. I support you and I know you can solve this issue. You've just got to believe in yourself hon." For some reason, right then, I thought of Daddy as a child. I suppose it just seemed like what Momma said was somethin' a mother might say to their child; not their husband. Or maybe it wasn't what she said, but how she said it. She wasn't talkin' down to Daddy, but she was surely talkin' above him, if you know what I mean.