CHAPTER II.
I AM A NIHILIST.
"I think if you don't mind we will go back to the station," said mycompanion, stopping after we had gone a little way without speaking."It is very convenient for talking. Besides, you have to decidewhether this thing shall be carried any farther."
"I have already decided," I replied, quietly. "I am going through withit, if it is at all possible. But I have thought of many difficulties."
"You must know all that I can tell you, please, before you decide, or Ishall be very uncomfortable." She said this very firmly.
"Certainly you must tell me everything that will help me to know whatmanner of man I am now." I smiled as I said this to reassure her; butshe was very earnest and a little pale.
She waited a while until there was no one near us, and then said in alow tone:--
"My brother is mixed up with the Nihilists in some way. I don't knowhow, quite: but I believe they suspect him of having played them false,and I think his life is threatened. Those two men you saw at thestation were spies, sent either to stop him, or, if he got away, tofollow him."
"But they didn't attempt to stop him."
"No, they mistook you for him, thinking they could see through thedisguise of a clean shaven face. Had you entered the train, they wouldvery likely have told you openly not to go, or have warned you of theconsequences."
"And what would be the consequences?"
"Surely you know what it means for a Nihilist to disobey orders? It isdeath." She was white now and agitated. "I am so ashamed at nothaving told you before you took the first step."
"It would have made no difference in my decision," I replied promptly.I thought more of clearing her clouded face than of any possibleconsequences to me. "But tell me, are you also mixed up with them inany way?"
"I am putting my liberty and perhaps my life into your hands," shesaid, in the same very earnest tone and manner. "My brother has drawnme in with him to a certain extent. You know they like to have manywomen in the ranks."
"I am sorry for you. I have rarely known a Nihilist who was capable ofgetting much pleasure out of life." A cold touch of fear seemed tocontract her features, as she glanced at me and shrank a little from me.
"You! What--how come you to know anything of this? You said youwere--an Englishman?"
"I am an Englishman: but I lived the first sixteen years of my life inRussia: the last six of them in Moscow here; and I know much of Russianlife. I have made only one visit to Russia since I left; and this timeI arrived only last night, and intended to go on to St Petersburg as Itold you to-day. It will save time in this matter if you can make upyour mind to believe absolutely in my good faith."
I looked into her face as I said this, and I held out my hand. Shelaid hers in it, and we clasped hands in a strong firm grip as a tokenof mutual faith and friendship. I believed in the little soul, andmeant to stand by her.
"I will trust you now," she said, simply, after a pause.
"As for what you have told me, it can make no difference to me," Ideclared. "If I go out and meet this fellow Devinsky to-morrow, and hebeats me, it will be all the same to me whether I am a Nihilist or anEnglishman. There is only one soul in all the world who will care; andI shall give you a letter to be posted to him--if things go wrong."
I stopped to give her an opportunity of promising to do this; but sheremained silent, and walked with her head bent low. I felt rather aclumsy fool. She was such a sensitive little body, that the thought ofmy being killed, as the result of her having got me to help her brotheraway, naturally upset her. She couldn't know how gladly I shouldwelcome the other man's sword-point between my ribs.
After a pause of considerable constraint she said:--
"There is no need whatever for you to go out and meet Major Devinsky.You can do as Alexis said; be ill in bed until the passport comes back,and then leave."
"Oh, I'm not one to play the coward in that way," said I, lightly, whena look of reproach from those most expressive eyes of hers made mecurse myself for a clumsy fool for this reflection on her brother'swant of pluck. "I mean this. If I take up a part in anything I mustplay it my own way; but there's more than that behind. I don't want tolook like bragging before you; but I have come out here to Russia tovolunteer for the war which everyone says must come with Turkey. I'vedone it because--well, you may guess that a man has a pretty strongreason when he wants to volunteer to fight another country's battles.It's the sort of thing in which he can expect plenty of the kicks,while others get all the ha'pence. I've not been a success in Englandand I've had a stroke lately that's made me sick of things. I can'texplain all this in detail: but the long and short of it is that ifanything were to happen to me to-morrow morning, it would be the mostwelcome thing imaginable for me. Now, you'll understand what I meanwhen I tell you that nothing you can say as to the danger of thebusiness can do anything but attract me. If I could only feel my bloodtingling again in a rush of excitement, I'd give anything."
My companion listened carefully to this, and her tell-tale face was allsympathy when I finished. Obviously she was deeply interested.
"Have you no mother or sister?" she asked.
"No--fortunately for them."
"Have you never had anyone to lean on you and trust to you for guidanceand protection? That helps a good man."
"No. But I've had those who've taken good care to break my trust inthem--and everything else." This with a bitter little reminiscentsneer and a shrug of the shoulders. "Still, it has its advantages.Any new part I might wish to play could not be more barren than theold."
My companion shot a glance up in my face as I said this, but made noanswer. It was I who broke the silence.
"Time is flying," I said, in a lighter tone: "and I have much to learnif I am to be your brother for the next two or three days. I want toknow where I live, where you live, all that you can tell me about mybrother officers and my duties--everything. Indeed that is necessaryto prevent my being at once discovered."
After some further expostulation she told me that she and her brotherwere orphans; that they had come about a year or so before to Moscow onher brother being transferred to this regiment; and that the brotherhad private quarters in the Square of St. Mark, while she lived with anaunt, their only relative, in a suite of rooms close to the Cathedral.They were of a very old family, neither rich nor poor, but havingenough to live comfortably and mix in some amount of society.
I gathered, however, that Alexis had been the source of much trouble.He had embarrassed his money affairs; lived a fast life, becomeinvolved with the Nihilists; dragged in his sister; and had ended bycompromising himself in many quarters. She told me the story, so muchas she knew of it, very deftly, intending no doubt to screen herbrother; but I could read enough between the lines to understand thathis life had been anything but saintly. Moreover, I was very muchmistaken if he were not as arrant a coward as ever crowed on adung-hill and ran away when the time came for fighting.
All this gave me plenty of food for thought--some of it disagreeableenough. It was no pleasant thing to take up the part of a coward and ascape-grace. Scapegrace I had been all my life in a way: but no manever thought me a coward.
I take no credit to myself for not being a coward; and I am quite readyto believe that there are sound physiological reasons for it. Naturemay have forgotten to give me those nerves by which men feel fear; butit is the case that never in my life have I experienced even a passingsensation of fear. I would just as soon die as go to sleep. I haveseen men--much better men than I, and quite as truly brave--shudder atthe idea of death and shrink with dread from the thought of pain. Butat no time in my life have I cared for either; and I have come toregard this as due to Nature's considerate omissions in my creation.Certain other omissions of hers have not been so considerate.
This will explain, however, why the thought of the danger whichtroubled my new "sister" so much did not cause me even a passinguneasiness, espec
ially at such a time. What I was anxious to do was toget hold of as much detail as possible of my new character; and I wassufficiently interested by it to wish to play it successfully.
To this end I questioned my companion very closely indeed about thenames and appearance of the brother's friends and fellow officers,about the habits of military life, and in short about everything Ideemed likely to help me not to stumble.
At the close of the examination I said:----
"At any rate we two must begin to rehearse. You must call me Alexisand must allow me to call you Olga; and we must do it always to avoidslips."
She saw the need but blushed a bit when I added:---"And now, Olga,we'll make our first practical experiment. We'll go together to myrooms and you must shew me what sailors call my bearings."
"Shall we walk--Alexis?" she asked, her eyes bright and her cheeksruddy with pretty confusion.
"By all means--Olga," I answered, returning her smile, and imitatingher emphasis on the Christian name. "Do you know that my sister's namehas a very quaint sound in my ears, and comes very trippingly to abrother's tongue?"
"But you don't like it and you think it common," she returned.
"I?"
"Yes, you have often said so, Alexis. Surely you remember. Why, onlythis morning you said how silly you had always thought it," shereplied, demurely.
"Oh, I see," I laughed. "Ah, I've changed that opinion. A good manyother things have changed too, since this morning," I added drily; andwe both laughed then, and, considering the circumstances, were inextremely good spirits.
"Alexis," she cried, with a sudden warning, as we turned a corner intothe Square of St. Gregory. "Don't you see who is coming toward us?Major Devinsky and Lieutenants Trackso and Weisswich. The major willpass next you. What will you do?" She asked this in a quick hurriedvoice.
"Cut him as dead as a door nail," said I, instantly, drawing myself up."And the other fellows too; are they friends of mine, by the way?"
"No, they are his toadies," she whispered.
Olga bent her face down and would not see them; but I squared myshoulders and held my head aloft, fixing my eyes steadily on the threemen as they approached. At first they did not recognise me. Then Isaw one of them start, and making a rapid motion of his hand across hischin, he whispered to his companion, both of whom started in their turnand laughed.
As we passed the major made an effusive bow to my "sister" which theother two copied, while all three sneered with an air of insolentbraggadocio and simultaneously put their hands to their chins as theireyes fell on me.
My blood seethed with anger at the insult. Nothing could have fired myeagerness more effectively to begin the drama of my new life. If Ididn't punish each of those three for that insult, it should be becausedeath stepped in to stop me.
"I am glad we met them," said I, smiling. "I shall know now which ismy adversary to-morrow, and shan't pink the wrong man by mistake. Butyou look a bit scared, Olga."--I saw she was very pale.
"I am afraid of that man," she answered. "He is a man of good familyand great wealth, and has a lot of influence in certain circles. He isan ugly enemy."
"Ugly, he certainly is," said I, lightly, speaking of his face.
"I mean dangerous," replied the girl seriously.
"I know you do, child," I answered, as naturally as if she were reallymy sister. "But we'll wait till we talk this over after to-morrowmorning. I tell you what I'll promise you as a treat. You shallbreakfast with me, or rather I'll breakfast with you to-morrow, andtell you at first hand all about the meeting. You have been a littletoo anxious about me."
"I am afraid that might occasion remark," she replied with the demurelook I had noticed once or twice before. "You know that you have notalways been an attentive brother, Alexis: and it is not good acting tooverdo the part:" and she threw me a little smile and a glance.
I laughed and answered:--"That may be: but I've changed since themorning, as I told you before."
"Very well, then. You remember of course that aunt never gets up earlyenough to have breakfast with me--but you shall come if"--and here thelight died right out of her face and her underlip trembled so that shehad to bite it to keep it steady--"if all goes well, as I pray it may."
"You are a good sister, and need have no fear. I am not made of thestuff to go down before that bully's sword. So get ready my favouritedish--whatever that may be--and I'll promise to do justice to it."
"Here are your rooms," she said, a moment later, as she stopped beforea large wide house. "They are on the ground floor with those windows.But before we go in, remember your manservant's name is Vosk, and he isa very sharp fellow. And please let me give you a word of warning.Alexis has not only not been attentive to me, but his manner has oftenbeen very brusque and--oh, if you had had sisters you would know howbrothers behave. They don't mind turning their backs on one; theycontradict, and interrupt and laugh at one; treat one as a convenience,and are rude. They don't in the least mind hiding their affectionunder the garb of indifference and contempt, and all that."
"Am I to treat you with contempt, then?" I asked with a grin.
"I think you should be a little more brusque," she replied, laughingand blushing. She was really a very jolly little sister.
"I shall get into it all in a day or two, perhaps."
"You had better try. Vosk is very sharp indeed."
"All right, I'll find means somehow to dull his wits."
We went in and I then tried to put a little more bluntness into mymanner and to play the brother.
The man was in his room when I entered and started when he saw thechange in my appearance. I caught his vigilant eye glance sharply atthe pattern and cut of my clothes.
"Does your face hurt you now, Alexis?" asked Olga.
I understood her and answered in a somewhat surly tone, putting my handto my left cheek. "No, not so much now; but it was an infernally sillyjoke to play. It's cost me my beard and a suit of clothes. A goodthing it wasn't a uniform. Put out something for me to wear, Vosk," Isaid sharply to the man.
He looked at me again very keenly, but went at once to do what Iordered. Olga and I went into the chief sitting room--there were twoleading one out of the other--and sat down. The man's manner hadreminded me of several things. Very soon I made an excuse and sent himout.
"You must tell me all about the clothes I have to wear at differentfunctions," I said. "Vosk saw that these were not out of my wardrobeproper, and while he's out, I'll hurry and change them, and we'll seehow the uniforms fit me. A mistake may spoil everything at the lastmoment."
I ran into the bedroom and slipped into the undress uniform the man hadlaid ready. To my supreme satisfaction I found that they fitted mefairly well; and though they required some touches here and there, theywould pass muster as my own. I tried on also some of the otheruniforms I saw in the room; and wearing one of them, I went back to my"sister."
She cried out in her astonishment:--"My brother Alexis to the life."
"Your brother Alexis to the death," I answered so earnestly that shecoloured as I took her hand and kissed it. Then in a lighter tone Iadded, "Uniforms make all men of anything like the same figure lookalike. It's fortunate that your brother's an army man." Then wechatted for some minutes until I thought it prudent to change backagain into the undress uniform that Vosk had put out.
Then I took a lesson in uniforms and questioned Olga until she had toldme all that she herself knew about them.