Chapter 13
Day 121
It took a long twenty days for us to adjust to life on our own. I was slightly frustrated that they were all still there, as helpful as they were. I’d been convinced they weren’t real. I’d put so much energy into my belief that they were all being caused by the doctors, but I didn’t think so anymore. If that was the reason why would they still be around? If anything the voices got worse when I left the hospital and my dear imaginary friends went nowhere.
Even knowing that I couldn’t allow myself to believe even for a second that this was worst case scenario, which was that maybe I was really going crazy and that now I was an escaped mental patient. Every time it would come up in my head I’d force my brain to any other topic. It couldn’t be that way. This was a nightmare, or a really good prank.
I was trying to figure out exactly how this worked, but I wasn’t very successful. Every idea I formulated had gaping holes in it and just didn’t make sense, nothing really did. I kept trying though because it made me feel better for reasons I didn’t even understand.
My friends, for lack of a proper term, had become extremely helpful. With Karen’s amazing gift at getting us fake IDs, Bob, Karen, and I had each gotten jobs. Bob was working nights at a bar and days at the diner with me. Karen was working days in a hotel, and nights in the club the hotel ran. I worked nights at a casino and days at the diner. The diner was a simple job. People, normally varying degrees of drunk, would show up and you’d do what they asked quickly and politely. Some were rude, and if they were drunk enough some of them would try to smack you, but I was good at ducking. I had a fake number to give the ones that asked. I had it down to a science, so I was okay with everything there now. Jeremy spent days in school and Jenny stayed home with Kelly and did research online to keep her education up and to make sure we were safe.
“I’m heading to the casino,” I said kissing Jeremy on his head and hugging Jenny. “Don’t forget to finish your homework, Jeremy. And no eating sweets for dinner again. I left meals in the fridge. Just microwave them.” I looked in the mirror before leaving. Today I was wearing black short shorts that barley went two inches down my thighs and a corseted strappy red top. My job was to carry drinks to the gamblers as well as keep an eye out for people who were cheating. If I suspected anyone I’d report them and someone more experienced would keep an eye on the situation.
I both loved and hated my job. I loved the air of mystery and excitement that was running wild in the casinos. It was the perfect balance of excitement and tension and I adored it. I loved looking out for the cheats. I loved my boss, he was amazing. I hated the drunks and I hated being looked at like a piece of meat. In the clothes we had to wear men’s eyes were constantly following us. The shorts and shirt outfit, while way to skimpy for me, was probably my favorite simply because it wasn’t a dress.
There were a few reasons I hadn’t quit. One, I knew I needed the job. Two, I made really good money. We made great wages for waitresses and the tips were extremely good. I also was strangely good at detecting cheats, and we got one percent of the money they had when they were caught. It was a great reward and I’d been successful five times. Of course if you made too many false accusations they’d charge you, but that was a problem for later.
After a long night I came home and realized tomorrow was my day off. It was a Sunday so Jeremy, Jenny, and I would be here and I was fairly sure Bob also had the day off. I knew we ought to do something, but all I wanted to do on my days off was sleep. I worked all the time, and it wasn’t easy.
The next day I was up around ten thirty. I forced myself to get ready to go out and told the other two who were up that we were going out. I grabbed some of my money from the night before and we headed out. We started by getting a late breakfast, and then we headed to a massive aquarium. Jeremy seemed to have a good time and Kelly was entranced by the colors. I was downright exhausted and ready to collapse by three when we got home, but it was worth seeing the big smiles on their faces and the photos I’d managed to take.
“You did good,” Jenny told me. “He needed that.
I smiled, “You think?”
She nodded, “Jeremy’s been feeling a bit neglected, not that he’d ever mention it. I know you guys aren’t having fun, and that you’re all working your asses off. He knows it too, but he still misses being a kid. He’s ten, the kid deserves some fun. I mean he basically does school work and hangs around this apartment. He doesn’t go out with friends, because he doesn’t know what to tell them. He doesn’t leave, because no one can go with him except Kelly and me. We aren’t the best company for a kid his age.”
“I know,” I admitted. “The thing is I work from eleven to seven during the day then I’m back at work from ten to seven. I barely get any sleep on work days and by the time I get a day off all I want to do is sleep for hours on end. As selfish as that sounds, I’m too tired. I know the others feel the same way.”
“Maybe I could get an at home job,” She said. “Then you could all work less hours which would be way better for you guys.”
“No,” I shook my head. “Be there for your daughter and Jeremy. They deserve that much. We’ll make more of an effort. Someone will do something cool every week and then he can have a better childhood.”
“Are you sure?” She asked. “I can handle it.”
I shook my head, “No. I know you could, but you shouldn’t have to. Now what time is it?”
“Four,” She informed me.
I nodded, “I’m gonna try and sleep I work in six hours.”
I headed into the room I shared with Karen, Jenny, and baby Kelly. I plopped into bed and then it started.
You are mine. I own you. Those men my look at you, but only I can look inside of you. I see your deepest fears and your strongest desires. I know all you do and I see all you do. I see the pain you’ve caused. I see the darkness you leave behind you. You caused all of this. The trail of misery you put down isn’t right. You deserve nothing. I am always watching and I know. I see it, and I know. You think you can fool me, but I am greater than you are. I am greater than all. I am, I see, I know.
I woke up at five and headed into the bathroom. I changed into a small purple dress and got to work on my hair. I brushed it and then curled it loosely. I put it up and fixed my makeup. I headed out into the living room/kitchen. I kissed Kelly on the head and grabbed Jeremy’s arm.
“Hey buddy,” I said. “Isn’t it time you two got to bed?”
“It’s nine thirty Syd,” He said. “Maybe Kelly should be.”
I picked her up and put her to bed. Jenny was working on school so she couldn’t. I got two bowls of ice cream and passed one to her and one to Jeremy. “Enjoy it. Then you should get to bed Jeremy. You have school in the morning.”
He nodded and I ruffled his hair. He smiled and looked up at me. “Love you Syd. Good luck tonight. Thanks for today. I had fun.”
“No problem kid. Love you too. Love you Jen.”
“Love you Sydney. Have fun,” She called over her shoulder and I headed out.
I clocked in and headed to the poker tables. I took orders and got the drinks. It was monotonous, but they each tipped well. A few ordered food, so I put the orders in. Finally at five I clocked out and headed to count my money. I’d made a few hundred in tips, and I knew I had to home. I got in, changed, and woke Jeremy for school. I made breakfast for the kids and set it on the table.
The day was over, but for me the days bled together in a never ending train of madness. It was the day that never ended. The longest days.