Drew and Caroline frowned at her. “You mean he…Dara, does he…does he hit?” Caroline asked in a hushed voice.
“No, no, he never hits, but he’s…it’s like he’s mad all the time and it makes him mean to everybody. He’s rude to people in stores and when we go out to eat, like store clerks and waitresses. It’s so embarrassing. My friends are scared of him and they don’t like to come over to my house, he doesn’t get along with the neighbors, and he’s so mean to my mom.” Tears filled her eyes, and bottled up pain poured out of her mouth. “He’s her husband, he’s supposed to love her, but he puts her down, yells at her, treats her like she’s stupid, and she’s not stupid! And she! She just takes it! She stands by and…and…takes it,” she trailed off, sniffing. Dara looked down at her hands, fingers twisted in her lap. “She doesn’t say anything when he yells at me, either,” she added in a small voice.
Caroline glanced at Drew, but he didn’t seem to know what to say. She looked back at Dara, worry puckering her brow. “It…it must be pretty miserable, living like that. I mean, not happy.”
“No,” Dara agreed hollowly. “Not happy.” She paused, sighing. “It’s like I never get to relax. I’m always worried he’s going to start yelling, or say awful things to my mom, and then I get so mad at him! And she never stands up to him, and then I get mad at her!”
“That sucks!” Drew said forcefully, then winced at the inadequacy of what he’d said, but Dara nodded her head vigorously.
“Totally,” she agreed.
There was an uneasy silence.
“Totally suckish!” Caroline finally said, trying for a lighter note.
“Uh huh. It bites the big one,” Drew added, catching on.
Not to be outdone, Caroline yelled “Phat-phree!”
Dara smiled ruefully. “Yup, it really blows,” she said with finality, surprising Drew so much he forgot what he’d been about to say next.
Caroline rocked back on her heels and grinned. “What did you expect her to say, “Oh, bumsey!?”
Her face a little red, Dara looked at Drew with a crooked smile. “See, my family never jokes like this. I wish they did, but I don’t think that’s ever going to change. Maybe you guys could email me every once in awhile and remind me that laughing is OK,” she said half-joking.
Drew thought it was one of the saddest things he’d ever heard. He determined to do just as she asked. She wouldn’t be left alone when she was back home; there was the computer, texting, whatever it took. He didn’t tell her, but instead asked if her parents were coming during the final week of camp.
“I think so, unless my dad’s too busy. He’ll probably want to grill the counselors to find out if I swam everyday.” She started to say more, then shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together. Finally, she added “I like to swim and I want to swim. But it’s like the fun’s been sucked out of it ‘cause there’s so much pressure on me. I can deal with the competition. That doesn’t bother me. But my dad keeps on me all the time and it seems like whatever I do, it’s never good enough, not fast enough, didn’t work hard enough…”
Caroline raised one eyebrow. “I’m beginning not to like your dad.”
Dara snorted. “Yeah, well, join the club. None of my friends like him. He’s not exactly, um, likeable.”
“Yeah, we got that,” said Drew wryly. Caroline handed him his sketchbook and he shoved it into his backpack. Dara walked over to where the seedpod had rolled, picked it up and tossed it to Caroline.
Caroline flipped it from one hand to the other and back.
“You better not hit me with that thing again, Dork!” Drew warned in a mock threatening voice.
Caroline rounded on him. “DON’T call me Dork! I am NOT a Dork!”
Drew held up both hands, his eyes wide. “Whoa, where’d that come from? Hey, I don’t mean anything by it, it’s just a nickname.”
Caroline drew in an audible breath through her nostrils. “It is not a nickname. Calling me Carly Ann is a nickname. Calling me Dork is…mean,” she finished.
“Geez, Caroline, why didn’t you tell me this like 5 years ago? I didn’t know…I don’t mean to be mean.”
“I know you don’t, but it feels that way to me anyway. Don’t call me that again… I don’t like it,” she added unnecessarily.
Drew nodded. “My bad, I’m sorry.” He looked down at his sometimes annoying, sometimes funny little sister, and sighed. “So, Carly Ann, how about you and Dara and me go back to camp and get some real food? We still have time to raid the kitchen before dinner.”
Caroline smiled when Drew used his old nickname for her. The family story went that when she was born, Drew had trouble saying her name and it came out more like “Carly Ann”. He had also said “hopgrasser” for grasshopper, and “cob on the corn”. Calling her Carly Ann had stuck, but he hadn’t used it in a long time, and she felt warm hearing it again. She didn’t always get along with Drew, but they were surprisingly tight for siblings. She looked up to him in more ways than one, not that she’d tell him that. No more Dork, she thought. That made her feel good, too.
Corinne kicked off her flip-flops and peered down into the pit. “You ready for me?” she asked Cal, up to his knees in mud. She noticed Jim, too, but was unaccountably shy about saying anything to him.
“Yeah, I already did all the hard work, so I guess you can come play.”
“Hey, what about me?” Jim said indignantly. “That was me shoveling just next to you.”
“Oh, yeah.” Cal nodded. “OK, you’re off the hook. But this one,” he pointed at Corinne, “she has to do double for showing up fashionably late.”
“You said ‘around 9 o’clock’. If I show up at twenty after, that’s not late. I can’t help it if you two morning people are out here shoveling at the crack of dawn, when most sensible people are still in bed.”
“Good thing you amuse me,” Cal commented. “Otherwise, I’d have to enact the usual camp punishment.”
Corinne grinned at the first part of his statement, then the grin faded.
“In fact, I think the punishment is called for anyway, just ‘cause I feel like it.”
“Oh, no, not that!” Jim cried in mock horror. “Have mercy, mate!”
Corinne looked suspiciously from one to the other.
“Yup, I don’t want to have to do this, but I think the situation calls for it. And maybe she’ll think twice about being tardy the next time.”
“I was NOT tardy!” Corinne declared. “I…”
“OK, here comes the punishment. I think three should do it, don’t you?” he asked Jim.
“Cruel,” replied Jim shaking his head. He faked looking at a wristwatch that didn’t exist. “Would you look at the time? I’ve got to be going. I’ll come back when…”
“Not so fast. You have to contribute, too, since you were the other injured party.”
“Me? But I don’t know any…”
“I’ll go first and give you time to think of something. If you can’t, I’ll have to pick up the slack.”
Corinne watched them with a face that clearly said they were nuts.
“Maybe this will teach you a lesson,” he admonished sternly. “Here goes – What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?”
“That’s it? You’re telling me jokes for punishment?” She slapped her forehead. “Wait a minute, what am I saying? Don’t they have laws against child abuse in this state?”
Cal’s expression didn’t change. “What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?” he repeated with exaggerated patience.
Corinne rolled her eyes. ‘I don’t know,” she said in a sing-song voice. “What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?”
“Polaroids.”
She stared at him for a few seconds, then groaned. “That is so lame! Have you no pride?”
Cal held up two fingers. “Not done. Jim, are you ready?”
Jim shook his head. “I don’t know any, really.”
Cal sighed. OK, I’ll give you an Australian one, so you’re more comfortable.” Looking highly skeptical, Jim leaned forward while Cal whispered in his ear.
“That’s not funny,” he said flatly, when Cal finished.
“Of course not. I’m not wasting my best stuff on Ms. Hard Case, there.”
“Must I?”
“You must.”
Jim turned toward Corinne. “Don’t kill the messenger, OK?” He swallowed. “What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?”
Corinne looked bored. “I give. What?”
Jim winced. “A stick.”
Corinne was silent. She shook her head. “That one doesn’t even deserve a comment.”
Unfazed, Cal waved three fingers in front of her face. “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?” He waited, but she just looked at him expectantly. “Nacho cheese.”
Her lips twitched and she turned half around so he wouldn’t see.
Cal smiled at her back. “Just remember, there’s more where they came from.”
She turned back around. “Yes, sir, I’m scared straight now.”
“Good. You ready to hop in here?”
Corinne nodded. Cal climbed out and she jumped in, enjoying the cool mud under her feet and splashing up her calves. She and Jim started squishing around the pit, while Cal took the forms off bricks that had already dried.
“How did it go at Dream Working class?” he asked her. Jim hadn’t seen her at dinner the night before. He and Jake had gone with Ron and a few other campers on an evening hike, and they’d eaten late when they got back.
“Oh, well, um, you were right. They didn’t make me do anything awful. I just did one of those treasure map things,” she said airily.
“And?”
“And, it was good. No problem.” She squished around a little faster, all of her attention apparently on the muddy water.
“And?” Jim asked again.
“And what?” She pretended not to understand.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. But I’d like to hear about your treasure map.”
Corinne risked a glance at him and thought he looked far too serious and far too cute. She slowed down. It was so quiet. She didn’t hear Cal banging forms together, or the shouts of kids playing volleyball, or the squirrel in the nearby tree chattering fiercely at Rocky. She looked up at Jim, standing so straight and solid, so patient. At that moment she felt like she could tell him any thing. But that would be really dumb, she thought. Look where it got her before. You can’t trust people, the little voice in her head warned her. They leave, they lie, they tell…
Jim’s mouth quirked up at one corner. “I can hear the motors whirring from here.”
Corinne was too nervous to smile. Her gut told her to trust him, and she decided to plunge ahead. “I made a treasure map, like I said.” She stopped.
“Uh huh,” Jim said encouragingly.
“I’m not sure I even did it right. Shelley said so, but she might have said it just to be nice.”
“Doubtful.”
“Huh?”
“I mean it’s unlikely Shelley said anything just to be nice. I know her. She wouldn’t consider lying being nice.”
“Oh. Well. I didn’t do my map on something I want to be when I’m older or some thing I want. It was just...just me. Things I like to do, stuff that makes me laugh, what’s important to me.”
He nodded. “What did Shelley say?”
She felt tears well up, and shook her head furiously. “What is it about this place?” she demanded. “I haven’t cried this much since I was 5, and I hate crying!”
Jim looked at her with amused sympathy, but said nothing and didn’t move. He waited.
Corinne felt around for nonexistent tissues in a nonexistent pocket, then gave up, wiping her face on her sleeve. She glared at him, but still he said nothing.
“Where was I?” she finally asked.
“You were going to tell me what Shelley said.”
“Oh, yeah.” She felt her throat tighten again, but it was a little easier this time. “She said it looked like I found me in my map.” Then the tears came again, but she didn’t fight them this time. A couple rolled down her cheeks and she sniffed, wiping them away with her hand. “She told me I seemed to spend a lot of time and energy pretending to not be me, and she was glad to look at my map and see me…if that makes any sense to you at all.”
He moved toward her, put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze, then let go. She looked up at him, surprised.
“It make perfect sense to me. When I look at you, I see you. The you that’s underneath the babbling, in-your-face stuff. It’s a good act, but it’s got holes, if someone’s looking. I happen to look, that’s all.”
“Who are you?” she said, feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under her. At least she was still standing. “How could you possibly know what I’m really like? You just met me!” she challenged.
He moved closer again, causing her breath to catch a little and her heart to beat faster. “I just do. I don’t know the details or your stories, but I know a lot. You want me to prove it? You’ve a soft heart. I’ve seen you with Rocky and I’ve seen you with Teddy. You’re flip and gruff with them, but very kind. You like your cabinmates a lot, but you’re afraid to let them get close. You start babbling when you think you need to keep someone away. You have a wicked sense of humor, and being a bit twisted myself, I really appreciate that bit.”
Corinne was breathing hard, but she didn’t stop him.
“You tell lies to protect yourself, but you do it so badly it’s a wonder any one is fooled.” He thought about it. “In fact, they probably aren’t. I see misery in your eyes and I’m sorry for what ever put it there,” he continued, “and I see courage, as well.”
Another tear rolled down her cheek, drawing a soft groan from him. Before she knew what was happening, he had cupped her face and kissed her softly on the lips. It was her first kiss, and later, when she was picturing it over and over again in her mind, she thought it couldn’t have been better.
When he pulled back, she smiled mistily at him. “Thank you,” she sighed.
Jim laughed. “For what I said or for the kiss?”
Corinne blushed. “Not sure,” she mumbled. “No, that’s not true. For both,” she admitted, forcing herself to look him in the eye.
“Both were my pleasure.”
“Do you have any idea how strange you are? People don’t talk like you, you know. I don’t even know if they think like that.”
“I was raised…different, and I can’t tell you how lucky I feel about it. I still have to deal with all the usual things kids do, but I look at it a little differently. It kind of takes some of the pressure off.”
“I’m not sure I understand, but it sounds good.”
“Hey, I’m not paying you two to stand around canoodling,” Cal’s voice startled her so much she nearly lost her footing.
“You’re not paying us at all,” Corinne shot back. “And whatever canoodling is, we weren’t.”
“I know canoodling when I see it,” Cal retorted, winking at Jim.
“I’ve no idea what it is. I don’t think we do it in Australia,” he said.
Cal burst out laughing. “Look it up sometime, then tell me that again.”
“If it means standing around talking, we’re entitled to a break,” Corinne said reasonably.
“One – you don’t get a break after working 3 minutes, and two – it doesn’t mean what you said. Why do people resist looking up words in the dictionary?” he demanded rhetorically.
Jim and Corinne started shmushing around the pit again, while Cal added a little more water. As he passed her, Jim leaned over and whispered “I’d really like to see your treasure map – the things that are important to you.”
“After dinner,” she agreed, feeling relieved and scared at the same time.
Chapter 19
Frie
nds
The first week at camp had flown by, it was over halfway through the second week, and Dara had yet to crack Brisingr. She couldn’t believe it! She’d waited and waited until she finally had the chance to sit down and enjoy it, and somehow she always found other things to do instead of reading. Swimming every morning, and she was starting to actually like it again…hikes, fun classes, picnics, horseback rides, campfires…she loved it! She’d written down some really good ideas in her writing notebook, too. Later, she’d be able to look at using some of them in her stories. Then there was Drew. He was so…so…she laughed. I’m a writer and I can’t think of an adjective, she chided herself. Still, her happy sigh said it all.
A knock on the cabin door interrupted her thoughts. She pushed herself off the bunk and opened the door. Toby stood there smiling tentatively, his blue eyes fixed on hers a little anxiously. “I know you’re probably busy,” he rushed into speech, “but I was wondering if you wanted to go watch the twins play that game they were talking about…lacrosse?…if you’re not busy, that is…” he trailed off.
Dara’s slanted eyebrows drew down until they almost met. “What’s wrong with you? I mean, why are you acting like this?”
Toby lifted his eyes from the ground and met Dara’s. “Well, I thought maybe you’d be doing something with Caroline or maybe Drew, and you wouldn’t have time…you wouldn’t want to…” He stopped as a dull red flush crept up his ears.
Dara grabbed his wrist and stepped outside. There was an old porch swing hanging from the eaves on the shady side of the cabin, and she sat, pulling him down next to her. “Stupid! You think because I’ve been having fun with Caroline and Drew that I don’t want to do anything with you anymore?”
Toby nodded miserably. “I know I’m only 11 and you guys are all older…”
“Yeah, and I get along better with you thanmost older kids,” she cut him off. “You’re smart, you like fantasy, you’re never mean to people, and you’re fun to be with.”
His ears now painfully red, Toby managed to smile and look hopeful.
“Drew and Caroline both like you, too. I was going to ask you if you wanted to go see the game today, but I couldn’t find you. In fact, it seems like you’re the one who hasn’t been around lately. Ever since that Magic class. The one where you wouldn’t show me what you’d written?” She still felt a little hurt by that.