Cancer Stick Addiction
By
Shane Griffin
Smash Words Edition Published by Poupichou Press
First Published in Print in Potato Monkey 2002
Copyright Shane Griffin 2001
Sid was snatched mercilessly from his slumber by a horrid screeching noise. It caused him such a fright that he smacked his head upon the bed head. The sharp pain made him alert enough to realise it was his alarm. With a groan he slowly rolled over in the bed and hit the snooze button on his cell phone alarm.
Some minutes later, after another dose of alarm noise Sid finally resigned himself to getting up and facing another Monday morning. As his feet hit the floor he instantly regretted it. The floor was ice cold, he hated winter. With a mumbled curse he leapt back onto the bed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he grabbed his cell phone from the bedside table and squinted at the luminescent screen. For some reason the floor temperature program had reset itself again. Shaking his head he fingered the glowing buttons and programmed the floor to warm to a comfortable 28 degrees. After a few minutes he ventured back out onto it.
"Ahhh!" there was nothing better than a warm floor in winter. Sid's happiness was short lived when he looked at the time on the phone's display. If he didn't get a move on he would be late for work. With practiced skill he was neatly presented in a suit and tie within five minutes. He hit the bathroom at speed, throwing down the last of a cup of coffee as he squirted toothpaste on his beleaguered brush.
As he stood in front of the mirror brushing rapidly, he wondered, not for the first time, why someone hadn't come up with coffee flavoured toothpaste to save all the hassle. After he had finished brushing he rubbed anti-shave over all the places he normally had growth. He checked his face carefully to make sure he hadn't missed a spot, he had a very important presentation to give today and appearance was everything in his line of work. That was when he noticed it. On the side of his head just forward and above the ear, crossing the border between his upper cheek and his hair line. It was large and it was reddish, the start of a tumour!
"Shit!" That was the last thing he needed. He rummaged around in the medicine cabinet until he found the bottle of Vodatel "No Tumour". He shook his head slightly as he read the label - Removes tumours with 24 hours guaranteed. Such a pain, he couldn't wait until the FDA approved the new instant ointment that everyone was talking about.
Sid popped the two, as directed, capsules and glanced at his phone screen again. If he didn't get moving he wouldn't make his fast train. His subterranean was always on time and the next one wasn't for another hour, one of the drawbacks living in Sydney and working in Bangkok. One of these days he would have to find a job closer to home, an hour each way in the tunnel took too much of a chunk out the day.
With his cell phone firmly clasped in the palm of his hand Sid exited his apartment, locking his door with a press of a button from the phone. As he descended the stairs towards the street his eyes were glued to the tiny color screen of the phone as he up-linked to go online. By the time he hit the street he had paid for his weekly train ticket and was revising the notes for his presentation.
As he walked down the street from his flat towards Central Station he took no notice of anyone around him and they took no notice of him. Everyone, to a person, was in some way engaged with their own phone. He dodged and weaved the masses of people on automatic pilot as he switched the channel to pick up his daily dose of current events. He caught the last few words of a political argument then the news flashed to something which almost stopped him in his tracks.
It was an ad for the new GeneTel 310. With the speed and fluidity of a habitual motion he un-tucked a tiny silver plug from the cuff of his suit jacket and connected his phone to it, then deftly withdrew the tiny speaker hidden under his collar and inserted into his ear.
"…Yes, that's right, no more bothersome hand held! Your two hands will always be free! The new GeneTel technology means your mobile is grafted neatly and painlessly into your forearm. As well as convenience the new system boasts voice command as well as the traditional touchpad screen! But what about sound I here you say? Not to worry, the new GeneTel 310 also features revolutionary interactive neural fibres that transmit all sound directly to the ear! But wait there's still more…"
Sid didn't get to see the more as his transmission was blocked out by an electronic leaflet that burst onto his screen. He read the big red letters that headed the leaflet - Free yourself, let us treat your cancer stick addition today! Sid quickly brought up a shield signal to block out the unwanted leaflet transmission, but it was too late and the add was over.
Sid had been waiting with desperation for the release of the new GeneTel series and had been saving for six months ready to buy one. To have some technophobe squirt crap all across what was probably going to be the one high point of his day angered him so much that he actually stopped walking and looked up from his phone to scan the crowd for the culprit. He would certainly have to be nearby to transmit over the top of another signal. After a few minutes Sid spotted her, a tallish women with straggly dyed purple hair, a dark full body overcoat and black boots. She was standing on the street corner not ten metres ahead pointing her rather archaic looking cell phone at passersby, most of whom just frowned momentarily into their phone screens and kept walking.
Sid stared at her aggressively when she looked his way and their eyes locked. He saw her lips move as she mouthed something. He assumed that it was some insult and began to stride through the crowded street purposely towards her. He had covered just over half the distance between them when someone dodged the same way as he did and walked directly into him. The force of the impact caused the other fellow to drop what he was carrying and almost made Sid drop his phone.
"Oh dear, I am so sorry friend, " said the man as he bent over to pick up a bunch of paper covered in typeset. Sid forgot about the woman momentarily when he realised that the man was carrying a newspaper!
"Wow, I hope I didn't damage that. I mean it must be pretty old," apologised Sid.
"No worries friend, no damage. Besides its only today's," replied the man cheerfully as he nodded and walked off in the direction he had been headed originally.
Sid stood stupefied. "Today's?" He shook his head and glared back at the woman only to find she was gone. He looked around in every direction to see if he could locate her again. All he saw was the funny fellow with the newspaper under his arm walking slowly along the street. Sid wanted to continue on his way to catch his train but something about the man with the newspaper urged him to follow. There was something very out of the ordinary about this man and Sid's curiosity had gotten the better.
As he followed the man from a safe distance he tried to figure out what was so strange about him, besides of course the newspaper. He had trailed the man for an entire block and off into a considerably less crowded side street before he figured it out. The fellow was looking at passersby, the sky, the buildings around him and not at his phone! In fact he didn't seem to have one! The last revelation caused Sid to gasp audibly so shocking was the notion.
Sid racked his brain over the issue. Maybe he was a vagrant or mentally ill. That didn't fit though, he was too well dressed. Maybe he was a technophobe. No, they were all unwashed and unpleasant. As he deliberated the man disappeared into a narrow alleyway off the side street. Sid didn’t want to lose a second quarry in one day, he needed some answers to the unsettling questions burning in his brain. He instinctively tightened the grip on his cell phone and ran down the street to the alleyway. As he rounded the corner he just caught site of the fellow entering the back of a building through a heavy set green wooden door that opened outwards into the alley. He wanted to call out to the man to s
top but it didn't seem natural. Instead he sprinted down to the door. The man had left it open. He peered inside, but was greeted by only darkness.
Sid took one glance at his phone screen. He was going to be late for his train anyway, which meant he had at least an hour to kill. He would have to do his presentation via uplink on the phone instead of in person. It wouldn't put him in good stead with his boss, but at least he could hide the tumour better. With a deep breath he put those thoughts at the back of his mind momentarily and stepped into the darkness.
Sid stopped a few steps in from the entrance until his eyes became accustomed to the light. He was in a short narrow corridor. He followed it to its end only to find another door. It was a heavy iron door complete with rust stains and it was shut. Sid turned up the brightness of his phone screen to full and shone it around him. There was definitely no other way to go but back out onto the street or through the door. With a shrug and a deep breath Sid gently pushed on the door. As soon as his finger tips touched its surface it slide aside with a hiss and he found himself bathed in fluorescent light. Before him was a large hall in the middle of which was a large clump of people standing around talking casually to each other. Not one of them seemed to pay any attention to his arrival so he stepped through the door. Before he was even two steps inside, the door hissed shut and locked with a loud clunk.
Everyone in the room turned to face him as the door locked. Sid didn't know what this was all about but he wanted out and fast. He spun back towards the door and tried to open it, but it was locked tight. He looked back to the group of people, they were now all moving towards him at the door. Fear gripped him as it had never done before and he fumbled for the emergency code on his phone.
"Don’t bother with that thing friend you won't even get a signal in here." Sid looked up from his phone to see the man he had been following standing directly in front of him smiling merrily.
"What do you mean no signal!" cried Sid backing up against the door and checking his phones signal quality. It was zero. "That's impossible it can't be!" Sid fell to his knees and let the phone fall from his hand.
"It's ok friend it was tough for all of us the first time we came here too, but we will all help you through it."
Sid felt a hand on his shoulder, it wasn't the man's hand, it was soft and gentle and re-assuring. He looked up to see the women with the straggly purple hair smiling kindly at him.
"Come now let's see if we can cure you of your cancer stick addiction."
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