“Wait a minute, Crissy,” he interrupted her. “You’re going much too fast. What’s the matter with our old nursery? It was good enough for us.”
“John, do you know how far that old nursery is from my room? I intend to take care of my baby all by myself. I’ll be his mother, his nanny, and his nursemaid. It’s not as if I had a husband to devote half my time to. All I will have is my baby—all of my time will go to him.”
“You certainly have thought this all out,” John said. He was amazed how adept Christina had become at managing her own life. “Well, if you want your baby next to your room, that’s where he’ll go. But Johnsy won’t be happy that you want to care for him all by yourself.”
“Johnsy will understand once she knows the whole story. And I’ll still need her help,” Christina replied.
“Do you plan on telling Tommy everything, too?” John asked.
Christina hadn’t given a thought to Tommy.
“No—not everything, only what’s necessary.”
“You know he’s going to be hurt. Tommy wanted to marry you.”
“Yes. But I never loved him that way. Tommy will get over it. Perhaps he’s already found somebody else.”
John looked at her doubtfully. Tommy had cornered him before he and Crissy had gone to London. He had declared his love for Crissy and said he could never be happy with anyone else.
“You don’t really believe Tommy has found someone else, do you, Crissy? The boy loves you, and I think I can safely say that he’ll still want to marry you, despite the baby.”
“But I never felt that way about Tommy. I doubt I would have married him even if I’d never met Abu. He’s the only man I’ll ever love. He is lost to me, but I have his child and that’s all that matters. I don’t want to hurt Tommy, but I can’t marry him.”
“Well, perhaps you’ll feel differently about it later. But right now, I am more than late, little sister. There’s going to be hell to pay at the colonel’s office. I just hope he’ll understand and give me leave to take you to Alexandria,” John replied.
“I’m sure he will, John. If he doesn’t, then I’ll just have to talk with Mrs. Bigley.”
“The colonel won’t like you two women ganging up on him,” John laughed. He stood up and kissed Christina tenderly on the cheek. “I’ll try to come home early tonight, and we can talk more then.”
As soon as John left, Christina went to her bedroom to decide what she’d need to buy for her trip home. She rummaged through her wardrobe. All her clothes would fit in her two chests, but she’d have to buy another chest for the baby clothes she intended to make. And then she suddenly realized that all her tight-waisted clothes would be useless in a few weeks.
Christina laughed at herself for forgetting something so important. Now she’d have to buy yards and yards of material to make clothes for herself as well as the baby, and she would have to purchase two more chests.
“You certainly are going to be busy on this voyage, Christina!” she said aloud.
A WARM, FRESH breeze brushed against Christina’s face and played with her loose-fitting dress as she stood on deck holding onto the railing of the ship. She looked down at her protruding belly and smiled when she felt her baby’s forceful kick. His kicking and thrashing had become noticeable during the last month, and Christina loved every minute of it.
She’d been standing on deck for over an hour now. Her feet hurt terribly, but she wasn’t about to go back to her stuffy cabin—not with the shores of England before her.
The voyage had gone by so quickly and she had kept herself so busy that it seemed only yesterday that she’d said good-bye to John. She had cried a little and reminded him that in five months he, too, would be boarding a ship for home. She’d kissed and hugged Kareen, who had come with John to see her off.
“You take good care of yourself and the baby,” Kareen had said, then she, too, had started crying.
And now it was a clear, beautiful early summer morning in England. The passengers all crowded against the rail, happy that their journey was finally over.
Christina patted her belly and whispered softly, so no one else would hear, “We’ll be home soon, little Philip—very soon.”
Christina had no trouble hiring a coach to take her to Wakefield Manor. They traveled slowly, stopping at a cozy inn overnight to pamper Christina’s condition. But she didn’t mind. She watched the beautiful English landscape hungrily as they left London and drove toward Halstead.
It had been so long since she had seen such lush countryside. They passed majestic forests and open fields filled with wild flowers of every color. They passed farms surrounded by rich crops, and small, charming villages. This was rural England. How she loved it!
Late the next evening, the coach finally pulled to a halt before beautiful Wakefield Manor. Lighted sconces beside the large double doors cast welcoming light into the driveway. Christina threw open the door of the coach, not wanting to wait another second.
“Hold on there, madam!” the driver yelled, jumping down from his high seat. He came to the door and helped Christina down. “You must think of the wee one.”
“I’m sorry. It’s been so long since I’ve been home! Besides, I’m quite used to getting down by myself.”
“Maybe so, but—”
The big double doors swung open, and Dicky Johnson stepped outside.
“Who be you come to call this late at night?” he asked warily. Christina lifted her head to the light, and Dicky squinted his eyes disbelievingly. “Is that you, Miss Crissy? Is that really you?”
She laughed and embraced the small man.
“It’s me, Dicky—home at last.”
“Oh—it’s so good to have you back, Miss Crissy. And Master John, has he come home, too?”
“No, he won’t be coming home for a few months. But I wanted to come back early—to have my baby here.”
“Baby! Aye, you did feel a bit heavy under that cape.”
“Who is it, Dicky?” Johnsy called from the doorway.
“It’s Miss Christina. She’s come home sooner than expected. And all by herself, I might add,” he said disapprovingly.
“My baby!” Johnsy cried. She ran down the steps and caught Christina in her arms. Then she stood back, surprise written on her face. “My baby’s gonna ’ave a baby of ’er own. Oh, Lord, I’ve waited for this day. But why didn’t you write to your old nanny and let ’er know?”
“And would you have been able to read my letter?” Christina teased.
“No, but I would ’ave found someone who could. Now you come inside, love. You’ve got some explainin’ to do, and you can do it over a nice cup of tea,” Johnsy said, then looked to Dicky over her shoulder. “You bring Miss Christina’s baggage in an’ give that driver something to eat before ’e goes on ’is way.”
Inside the brightly lit hallway, Christina was swamped with glad greetings from the rest of the household servants. Johnsy soon sent them scurrying with a host of orders to bring tea, prepare food, heat bath water, and unpack baggage.
Christina stood back and laughed. “You haven’t changed a bit, Johnsy. Perhaps a few more gray hairs, but otherwise the same.”
“Aye—it’s ’cause of you I’ve added gray ’airs—what with you gallivantin’ off to that ’eathen land with your brother. I was fit to be tied when Master John sent word to ’ave the rest of your things shipped over there. An’ then I don’t ’ear a word from either of you. It’s been nigh over a year,” Johnsy complained.
“I’m sorry I didn’t write, Johnsy. But you’ll understand why after I explain things to you.”
“Well, I ’ope you’ve good reason for worryin’ your old nanny. But look at me makin’ you stand ’ere in the ’all—an’ you in your condition. You come in ’ere an’ sit yourself down,” Johnsy said gruffly, leading her into the drawing room.
After she took her cape and bonnet, Johnsy’s wide brown eyes went straight to Christina’s belly.
“What could
’ave possessed Master Johnny to let you travel by yourself? And where is your new ’usband—don’t tell me ’e ’ad to stay in that ’eathen land, too?” Johnsy asked, sitting beside Christina on the gold-brocade couch.
Christina leaned back and sighed heavily. “John agreed that I should come home to have the baby. Otherwise, we would have had to stay in Egypt until the baby was old enough to travel. As for my husband—I don’t have one. I was never—”
“Oh, my poor baby! Your child not even born yet, an’ you’re already a widow.”
“No, Johnsy—you didn’t let me finish. I don’t have a husband because I was never married.”
“Not married? Oh, Lord!” Johnsy started crying. “Oh, my baby! You’ve a bastard growin’ in you—oh, ’ow you must be sufferin’. ’Ow could Master John let this ’appen to you?” she wailed. “Oh—the blackguard who did this to you—may a thousand devils—”
“No!” Christina screamed. “Don’t ever say anything against him—ever! I love the father of my baby, 1 always will. And I will raise and love my baby. I don’t care that he’ll be a bastard!”
“But Miss Crissy—I don’t understand. Why didn’t you marry? Is the man dead?”
Christina knew it would be a long time before she could go to bed this night. She shifted her weight and then proceeded to tell Johnsy the whole story, including everything that she hadn’t told John. She began with her first sight of Philip at the ball in London, and ended with her first awareness of the baby and her plans to come home.
Johnsy cried and held Christina in her arms.
“Oh, baby—you ’ave suffered so. If only I could ’ave been there to ’elp you through it. An’ I still say that Philip Caxton is a blackguard—to turn you away like ’e did.”
“No, Johnsy—Philip had his reasons. They were selfish ones, but I don’t blame him anymore. I just hope he’s happy with Nura, for I’m happy with my baby,” Christina replied.
“Aye, ’appy you may be, but still sad for ’avin’ loved a man an’ then losin’ ’im in such a short time. I’m sorry, love—truly I am. But now I must get you to bed. You’re near to fallin’ asleep where you sit. I should be ashamed of myself for keepin’ you up till the wee ours of the mornin’. But you can sleep as late as you want tomorrow, love. I’ll keep the servants away from your room.”
Upstairs in Christina’s room, Johnsy helped her out of her traveling dress and into a loose-fitting nightdress. The large tub of water sitting in front of the blue marble fireplace had turned cold a long time ago, but she was too tired for a bath, anyway.
Christina surveyed her old room while Johnsy put away the rest of her things. She loved this room and had chosen it for herself because she liked the dark blues that dominated its decor.
Oh, but it was good to be home again with the things and people she had grown up with and loved!
Christina got into bed and covered herself. She was already asleep when Johnsy kissed her on the forehead and quietly left the room.
THE BRIGHT, CLEAR day was blocked out by the heavy blue velvet curtains covering the windows in Christina’s room. A door slammed shut somewhere in the house. Her reddened eyes fluttered open momentarily, but she was much too sleepy to think of crawling out of the soft comfort of her bed. She turned over and lost herself in peaceful sleep once again.
But a few moments later, the sound of angry voices brought Christina’s eyes wide open.
“Where is she, damn it?”
Christina raised herself slowly to her elbows.
“Now you can’t go in there, Master Tommy. I told you she’s sleepin’.”
Christina recognized Johnsy’s disapproving voice just outside her room.
“Good Lord, woman—it’s the middle of the day! Either you go in there and wake her—or I will.” It was Tommy Huntington.
“You will do no such thing. My baby is tired. She came ’ome very late last night, an’ she needs ’er sleep.”
“And that’s another matter. Why the hell wasn’t I informed that Christina was home? I had to hear it from my servants this morning.”
“Now calm yourself, Master Tommy. We didn’t know Miss Christina was comin’ ’ome until she arrived. I would ’ave sent word to you as soon as she woke up. Now you get yourself out of ’ere. I’ll send someone over after Miss Crissy wakes.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’m not leaving. I’ll wait downstairs, but she damn well better wake up soon or I’m coming back up here.”
After Tommy stormed downstairs, Christina’s door opened quietly and Johnsy poked her head around it. When she saw Christina sitting up, she came into the room.
“Ah, baby—I’m sorry ’e woke you. Master Tommy can sure be ’eadstrong when ’e wants to.”
“That’s all right, Johnsy. I guess it’s time I got up, anyway,” Christina replied. “I’ll take a bath now, then go down and face him.”
“Aye, ’e’s gonna be pretty upset when ’e sees your condition. Well, I’ll tell Master Tommy ’e can see you in the dining room shortly. You can tell ’im what you ’ave to over breakfast—you an’ that baby need your nourishment.”
About an hour later, Christina slowly descended the curved staircase and went straight to the dining room. She stopped in the doorway when she saw Tommy seated at the long table with his back to her. She quietly walked into the room.
“It’s good to see you again, Tommy.”
“Christina, why didn’t you—” He stood up and faced her, but he stopped short when he saw her enlarged belly.
A small, choked sound escaped his throat. Christina turned away and sat down on the other side of the table. One of the kitchenmaids brought in a large platter of food, and Christina, as if nothing were wrong, filled her plate with bacon and eggs and two delicious cherry tarts.
“Won’t you join me, Tommy? I hate to eat alone, and this food smells too good to waste,” she said without looking at him, busying herself buttering a piece of toast.
“How—how can you act as if nothing has happened? Christina, how could you do this to me? You know I love you. I wanted to marry you. I’ve been waiting patiently here for you and counting the days until your return. From the looks of you, you married as soon as you got to that damn country! How could you? How could you marry another man so soon?”
“I’m not married, Tommy—I never was,” she said calmly. “Now do sit down. You’re making me lose my appetite.”
“But you’re pregnant!” he exclaimed.
“Yes,” she laughed. “Very much so.”
“But I don’t understand.” And then he gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry, Christina! If John hasn’t killed the man, I’ll find him and see justice done!”
“Oh, stop it, Tommy! I was not married, and I was not raped. I was abducted and held captive for four months. I fell in love with the man who kidnapped me. He doesn’t know I carry his child, and he will never know. But understand this, Tommy. I will keep my child, and raise him and give him all my love. I am happy, so don’t feel sorry for me.
“You asked me to marry you a long time ago, but I never said I would, Tommy. And now, of course, it is out of the question. I’m sorry if I have hurt you, but I would still like us to be friends if—if you can forgive me.”
“Forgive you! I loved you, and you gave yourself to another man. I wanted you for my wife, and you’re going to bear another man’s child. You ask my forgiveness? Oh, Lord!” He slammed his fist down on the table and stormed from the room.
“Tommy, don’t go like this!” she called after him, but he was already gone.
Johnsy came into the room, her brow wrinkled with concern. “I waited until I ’eard ’im leave. Did ’e take it badly?”
“Yes, I’m afraid I’ve hurt him terribly,” Christina sighed. “I didn’t ask for any of this to happen to me.”
“I know, love. It’s not your fault, so don’t be blamin’ yourself. It’s that Philip Caxton’s fault. But Master Tommy will get over it. You and ’e ’ave ’ad many a disag
reement before, and you always made up afterward.”
“But that was when we were children. I don’t think Tommy will ever forgive me for this.”
“Nonsense! ’E just needs time to get used to the situation. You mark my words—’e’ll be back. But you finish your meal now. Would you like it warmed up a bit?”
“No. I’ve lost my taste for food right now,” Christina replied, and got up from her chair.
“You sit yourself right back down there. You’ve no longer just yourself to think of. Your baby needs food whether you do or not. You want ’im ’ealthy an’ strong, don’t you?”
“All right, Johnsy, you win.”
After Christina finished the cold meal, she went straight out to the stables. As soon as she walked through the open doors, Deke, the stable master, came running to greet her.
“I knew you’d be coming here before the day was out. It’s good to have you back, Miss Christina.”
“It’s good to be back, Deke. But where is he?”
“Now who might you be referring to?”
“Come on, Deke!”
“Might you be referring to that big black stallion in the last stall?”
“That I might.” Christina laughed gaily and rushed to the end stall.
When she saw the big black horse, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, gaining a snort in response.
“Oh, Dax—I’ve missed you so!”
“Aye, and he’s missed you, too. Hasn’t been ridden since you left, Miss Christina, although we’ve kept him busy. He’s sired four fine colts, with another one on the way. But I can see he’ll still have to wait for that ride,” Deke said bashfully.
“Yes, but not for very long,” Christina replied. “Bring him out, Deke, and put him in the corral. I’d like to see him move.”