We weren’t leaving until tomorrow afternoon, and here I was, my last night in this port, totally and completely alone.
I’d forbidden Ryan to tell Mom that I’d hurt myself. No reason to ruin her honeymoon simply because I’d ruined my vacation.
Ryan had gotten a key to my cabin—” So I can check on you without you having to come to the door.”
He’d brought me to my room, using a stupid wheelchair that the doctor had provided. He’d helped me onto the bed.
The first thing he’d done was put the remote control within my reach. So typical of a guy to think my main concern was not being able to access television.
Then he’d made ice packs, and wrapped them around my ankle.
He’d actually been very nice, and I did appreciate all that he’d done. He’d made sure that I had something to drink and snack on. He’d been the perfect nurse.
And then he’d left.
From my bed I’d watched the sunset through the doors leading out to my balcony. Alone. I did not want to spend the last night in this port having a one-person pity party.
I thought I heard a commotion in the hallway, and then there was a knock on my door.
“Lindsay, it’s Ryan. Can I come in?”
I was never in my entire life so grateful to hear his voice.
“Yes! Come on in.”
Hurry, hurry, hurry. I would be grateful for any company. I heard the keycard click, the handle turn down…
The door opened and the Usual Suspects poured into my cabin. Brooke led the way.
“Since you couldn’t come to Cozumel for the night, we’ve brought Cozumel nightlife to you,” she announced.
I felt tears sting my eyes. It was the pain medication I’d taken. It made me all weepy.
“Oh, guys, you didn’t have to do that.”
“We know,” Shooter said. “But what are friends for?”
And I realized that they were my friends. That during this week, we’d developed a bond. It had kind of snuck up on me, but it was there.
Someone plugged in a portable CD player with speakers, and music was filling the room. Pizza boxes were spread out on the coffee table. An ice chest was placed near the bed.
Cameron opened it. Inside were iced-down bottles of beer, and two pitchers of frozen margaritas, one of which was strawberry.
“Oh, guys, thanks, but I took some pain meds and I can’t have alcohol.”
“Not a problem,” Brooke said. “Ryan told us that would be the case so…” She lifted out the strawberry pitcher. “This one’s a virgin.”
I laughed. How typical.
“And we can raid your minibar to make individual non-virgin drinks,” Brooke said.
“Make yourselves at home!” I exclaimed.
And they did.
My cabin, because it was so large with a sitting area and the balcony, was perfect for a party. People gathered in little two-or three-people clusters on the balcony, in the sitting area, and on my bed.
The people on my bed constantly changed, as though I were a queen and they were subjects coming to visit. I was surprised by how much we had to talk about.
We’d so moved beyond that first awkward, “Where are you from?”
The cruise was winding down, and it was like we were just gearing up.
The one person who didn’t come to talk to me, the one person who seemed to stay at the edge of the party, was Ryan. More an observer than a participant.
Around two o’clock, Brooke announced that it was time for this party to end.
“I’ll check in with you tomorrow,” she said. “We’re going to get up early in the morning, and do a little scuba diving before the ship leaves port.”
“Oh, that’ll be fun. Don’t worry about checking on me, though. Just get to the beach as early as you can.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“We’ll miss you.”
One by one, everyone stopped by and said good-bye: Marc, Shooter, Chad, Cameron, David, Michael, Cathy, and Donna. We’d all become quite the group.
When everyone had left, Ryan began gathering up the empty pizza boxes and the discarded beer cans.
“Leave all that,” I said. “The maid can clean it up in the morning. I’ll give her a really nice tip.”
“It’ll just take me a second. I even came prepared.” He dug a plastic bag out of his jeans pocket, and shook it open. Then he began dumping all the trash into it.
“Was having the party your idea?” I asked.
“Brooke and I sorta hatched it together.”
“So I guess you don’t see her as a trouble-causing octopus anymore.”
He grinned at me. “She has her good points.”
He closed up the bag, tossed it toward the door, and walked to the bed.
“You need anything before I go?” he asked.
What I needed was for him to stay, to sleep with me like he had that first night, curled around me. But I couldn’t tell him that. Instead I just shook my head.
He shoved his hands into the back hip pockets of his jeans. “Listen, I thought if you were feeling up to it, we could rent a couple of horses tomorrow. Take a quick tour of the island. Riding a horse wouldn’t put much pressure on that ankle.”
“Ryan, that’s nice of you to offer, but you should go scuba diving with the others.”
“I’ve scuba dived before. I’d just as soon tour the land as the sea.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay, then, yeah, I’d like to go horseback riding tomorrow.”
“Great.”
He walked to the head of the bed, leaned down, and brushed a quick kiss across my lips. “See you in the morning. Call me if you need me before then.”
He turned and headed for the door.
“Ryan?”
He stopped and looked over his shoulder at me.
I swallowed hard. “Thanks…for everything.”
“Anytime.”
He picked up the trash bag and left.
And I found myself wishing so badly that he’d stayed.
CHAPTER 28
Cozumel
Day Eight
There was something old-fashioned and leisurely about riding horseback through a lush tropical forest.
Ryan and I were in a group of six. A guide led the way.
My ankle was feeling much better. We’d stopped by the onboard medical station before we left the ship, and the doctor put a brace on my foot. I tried to keep all the pressure off my ankle, but I was beginning to see why he’d diagnosed my injury as slightly sprained.
I suppose if it was badly sprained, I would have spent another day bored, in bed, with my foot elevated.
Instead I was out in the heat and the humidity. The guide had told us that we’d be traveling through a Mayan jungle, but it wasn’t exactly what I’d call a jungle. Jungle brings up images of Tarzan.
We were traipsing through what I would call a forest.
The paths were often narrow, and Ryan had to follow me. Whenever the paths widened, he’d come up beside me.
We didn’t do much talking. Mostly we just listened to the sounds of the forest, caught sight of a few animals, birds, and butterflies.
When we came out of the forest, we rode down to the ocean. We dismounted, and our guides removed our saddles so we could ride bareback through the surf.
It was something I’d always thought would be a romantic thing to do. I had to keep my foot up so the brace didn’t get wet, but there was something special about riding along the beach. The clear water lapping against the horses’ legs.
I thought about my new friends and wondered where they were off diving. If they’d explored sunken ships or discovered buried treasure.
And I thought about Ryan, giving up the opportunity to join them for something that was interesting, but hardly exciting.
He pulled his horse up to mine.
“Well, it isn’t exactly scuba diving,” he
said.
“I was sorta thinking the same thing. Are you too terribly bored?”
“Not at all. How’s your ankle?”
“It’s feeling better. I feel so stupid—”
“You shouldn’t.”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe you’re hanging out with me when you could be having such a good time with all the other people we’ve met. I think Walter owes you another cruise.”
“You think I’m here with you because of Walter?” he asked.
“Well, yeah. He asked you to look after me—”
“And you told me that you didn’t want to be looked after.”
I shook my head. “Then I don’t get it, Ryan. Why are you here?”
“Because I want to be.”
Because he wanted to be.
I sat in a lounge chair on my balcony, gazing out at the quickly darkening sky, thinking about Ryan’s words. In typical Lindsay Darnell style, I hadn’t known what to say, how to respond.
Because part of me was afraid to read too much into his words. To hope that he’d grown to like me as much as I’d come to like him. Ryan who knew about my stupid list and hadn’t tried to take advantage of it. Ryan who always seemed to be there right when I needed him.
Except tonight.
I figured he was out with the gang. Brooke had stopped by to let me know that everyone was going to fill up on margaritas at Cruisin’ tonight. And that she’d see me tomorrow.
I didn’t blame them. The gang had been great to come party with me last night, but I couldn’t expect them to do that again tonight. Everyone was here to create memories.
The ship had left port near twilight. Tomorrow we’d be in Cancun. I’d decided that if I rested my ankle one more night, tomorrow I should be able to hit the beach for some sun and fun.
I heard the sliding of a glass door, and glanced over toward Ryan’s balcony. He stepped out of his room.
Wow, did he look hot tonight. He wasn’t dressed up. Just wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. But it was obvious that he was freshly showered and shaved. Hair was perfect. Everything was perfect.
He did that familiar hitching up of a corner of his mouth, and my stomach knotted up like it always did. It occurred to me that maybe I should have blown off my search for the perfect guy to sleep with and simply spent more time with Ryan—even if only as a friend.
Brooke had been fun, no doubt about it. But I also really enjoyed Ryan’s company. For the first time in my life, I thought maybe I finally understood that old saying about not seeing the forest for the trees.
I’d been so busy searching for Mr. Perfect that I might have missed my opportunity to hang around with Mr. Fun-and-Sexy. And our paths were bound to cross in the future since he was sorta family. And we would have had great memories to fondly talk about. I was beginning to think I’d really blown it.
“I knocked on your door,” he said.
“I didn’t hear it.”
“How’s your ankle?”
I shrugged. “I still can’t dance on it.”
He grinned. “So what’s the problem? You couldn’t dance before.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. “I dance great for your information.”
“You sure did at the wedding reception. Want some company?”
Did I ever. But it was unfair to him…
“My party isn’t nearly as fun as the ones taking place on other parts of the ship.”
“But it could be.”
He held up a bottle of champagne and two flute glasses. I wondered if the champagne was the bottle he’d snitched the first night. Suddenly he was climbing over the railing that separated our balconies.
“Ryan!”
With a grin, he settled into the chair beside my lounger. “It was quicker than walking around.”
“You’re crazy,” I told him.
“Crazy about you.”
My heart thudded against my chest, and Ryan looked out toward the horizon as though embarrassed by what he’d said.
I told myself that it was just a comeback line, didn’t mean anything. I mean the truth was in his actions. His actions.
While everyone else was off partying, he was here on my balcony.
Bringing the party to me last night.
Carrying me from the Aztec ruins.
Saving me from a smooth-talker.
Snorkeling with me.
Tossing me into the pool at Dunn’s River Falls.
A movie…
The list seemed to go on and on. There was that missing the forest for the trees thing again. I’d been so busy looking for someone to have a fling with that I hadn’t noticed what was right in front of me.
A friend. If not a lover.
“So what are you going to do tonight?” he finally asked.
“I’m not going to dance. That’s for sure. Thought I’d watch the stars come out. Maybe read. Or start planning the rest of my summer.”
He glanced over at me and grinned. “You’re big into planning, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I like to have goals, I like to know where I’m going. I like to have accomplishments that I can tick off.”
“Like sleeping with a guy?”
I shook my head in wonder. “I can’t believe I told you about that the first night.”
“You were a little tipsy.”
“More than a little.” I shrugged. “At least I got to check it off.”
“You did?”
I nodded. “Yeah, right after that first night when I slept with you.”
He laughed. “Ah, slept, slept.”
“Right. But I’ve discovered that it shouldn’t have been on my list at all,” I conceded. “I’m thinking that it should be spontaneous, unplanned. You know why?”
“Why?”
“My list was all the things I wanted to be sure to experience on this cruise. I did almost all of them. I should feel a sense of accomplishment. Right?”
“I’d think so.”
I shook my head. “The crazy thing is, for everything on my list that I checked off as accomplished, the things I remember most are all the moments that weren’t planned, that weren’t on my list.”
“Like twisting your ankle?”
“Like having an unexpected party in my cabin.”
“You did look like you were having a good time.”
“Why aren’t you out partying with the others tonight?”
He shrugged. “I’ll admit I started connecting with the group at the end, but my main reason for being with them isn’t there any longer.”
“What was that?”
“You.”
“Because you need to keep an eye on me?”
“I told you this afternoon that’s not the reason I’m hanging around.” He shifted in the chair and faced me. “It bothers you that I’m Walter’s godson.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it does.”
“Why?”
“Because if things don’t work out, it would be awkward whenever our paths crossed.”
“So it’s crossed your mind that there could be something between us.”
“Sometimes, I think about it,” I admitted. “But I know that you think you have to baby-sit me—”
“Lindsay, I’ve never baby-sat in my life, and I’m certainly not going to do it on a cruise.”
“But you said—”
“So what am I going to do? Tell a chick who’s looking for someone to become a check mark on her to do list that I’m hanging around her and her newfound friends because I think she’s cute?”
My heart did a hard slam against my ribs.
“You think I’m cute?”
“From the minute I saw you. But I don’t want to be a check mark. Task completed. Move on to the next one.”
“It wouldn’t have been like that,” I said quietly. But I could see where I might have given the impression that it would have been. I shook my head. “But, Ryan, other than when we were parasailing, you’ve never said or done anything that made me think you
were truly interested in me.”
“I know. I didn’t figure Walter would appreciate the direction my thoughts were going in when it came to his new stepdaughter. He brought me on this cruise to be a traveling buddy, someone to keep you from being alone…not someone to get you into the sack.”
I found it difficult to breathe.
“So you thought about getting me into the sack?”
“Oh, yeah. Then I’d get so mad because you were throwing yourself at some of these scumbags—”
“I never threw myself at a scumbag! I was experimenting, testing the waters. Looking for Mr. Right.”
“And he was right next door, all along.”
I scoffed. “Ha! You wish.”
“Yeah, I did,” he said quietly.
I didn’t know what to say. What to do. There was such sincerity in his voice. Such, well, yearning…like maybe he really had been hoping all along that I would be to him what I’d been wishing he’d be to me.
He stood. “Well, guess I’ll go see what’s shaking at the clubs.”
Reaching out, I took his hand. “Ryan…”
My mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions. What to say to make him stay? Or should I let him go?
“I didn’t think you liked me,” I blurted.
“Yeah, well, you were wrong.” He pulled me to my foot, my good foot, and wrapped one arm around me, holding me against him so balancing on one leg wasn’t such an effort.
And then he kissed me. Tenderly. Warmly.
I felt as though I was soaring, like when we were parasailing, only my feet were on the ground. Or at least my good foot was. The other was raised, like a flamingo.
But I didn’t care. I only cared about this kiss that felt so right, so perfect, and that I knew I wanted more than anything in the world—and more than once.
Ryan drew back, then pressed his forehead against mine.
“Tomorrow is our last stop. Cancun. Do you think we might see where things go if I forget that you’re Walter’s stepdaughter and you forget that I’m his godson?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “I’d definitely like to see where things go.”