“None of this is hidden very well.” Tar comments.
“I don’t think she ever thought she’d be suspected.” Lucas answers. “Let’s go get the bitch!”
“Am I going to have a problem with you Lucas?” Quinn asks. “I’m already contending with the Admiral.”
“I’ll be fine. But if he takes a swing at her I won’t stop him.”
“Then you’re no help to me. Stay here, make sure everything is done by the regs, we’re going to nail this bitch to the wall.” The Colonel leaves taking several guards with him.
“Admiral, here are the last set of charts you wanted. As you can see the fleet was here.” Falco points to a spot on the chart with one hand as she touches the Admiral with the other. There is a buzzing outside the security shield. Looking up Falco sees Colonel Tar with several security guards outside the shield.
“Lower the shield Falco.”
“Excuse me sir.”
“Lower the shield.”
“Yes sir.”
“Quinn?”
“Senior Chief Falco, you are under arrest. You are charged with two counts of attempted murder, and one count of sabotage of a Coalition vessel.”
“What? William?” Her eyes shoot to him.
“Get her out of here.” The Admiral’s voice is icy.
As the guards try to take her, she lunges for him. He simply steps aside, letting her fall to the deck.
“You’re mine! Mine! That bitch is dead!” She rants as the guards pick her up.
Tar stiffens when the Admiral’s eyes turn deadly. Stepping towards her he tells her in a dangerously quiet voice that has the guards stiffening.
“Come near my life mate again and you’ll be the one dead. Tar! Get her out of here! NOW!”
“Yes sir.” Relieved that Will hasn’t touched her, Quinn helps as the guards manhandle her out of the command center. “You okay Will?”
“I’ll be in my quarters.” The Admiral leaves not answering.
Entering his ready room William hears children’s laughter. They have visitors. William takes it as a good sign. Standing in the doorway he sees Tori and Amina sitting on the floor playing while Cassandra and Javiera sit on the couch talking. This is home. He’s going to do whatever it took to keep it. Javiera is the first to see him.
“Admiral.” She smiles. Tori runs over to him.
“So?” William squats down so they are at eye level.
“Taken care of.” He taps her nose.
“Yes!” Tori says with a fist pump. “Did you hear Aunt Cassie?” William straightens to find Cassandra’s flat blue eyes watching him.
“I sure did sweetie, that’s great.” She forces herself to smile at Tori. Javiera is avidly watching the entire exchange. Cassandra’s change in tone tells her there’s something major going on between the two.
“That is great.” Javiera says. “How about if I take the girls to Deck F let them run off some energy, then we’ll have that make up sleep over?” Both girls squeal as they hug each other, jumping up and down.
“Javiera...” Cassandra starts.
“You’ll get more rest this way too.” She pushes.
“That would be great Javiera, thank you.” William answers for Cassandra.
“Wonderful, so girls you ready?”
“Yes!”
Turning back to Cassandra, Javiera gives her a quick, careful hug. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. I’ll get clothes for Tori to replace what was lost, it’ll work out.” Standing she looks at the Admiral.
“I’ll call before we come back.”
“Bye Aunt Cassie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Tori gives her a quick hug and kiss.
“Bye sweetie, have fun.” The room is silent once their gone.
“Did you eat?” William asks breaking the silence.
“Yeah, Hutu already picked up the dishes.” When Cassandra eases up from the couch William sees the bag.
“What’s that?” She looks down.
“Javiera brought me some clothes.” William rubs his neck in frustration.
“I’m not doing many things right here am I?” He watches her take a few stiff steps.
“You’ve had more important things to deal with then my clothes.”
“Nothing’s more important then you.” William moves behind her. “Cassandra…”
“Is it safe for Tori to be without guards?” Cassandra turns, deciding it’s time to face the situation. William looks into the deep sapphire blue eyes he loves that reveal none of her thoughts or feelings.
“Yes, I wouldn’t have agreed if it wasn’t.” She waits.
“You were right, from the very beginning, on everything. It was Falco, she had the empty Xyphrine bottles, the DC-48, the detonators. She’s in the brig. You don’t have to worry about her. You and Victoria are safe.”
“No one was hurt?” She can’t help but ask.
“No, everyone is fine. Cassandra,” William lifts a hand to her face, he needs to touch her. “Don’t!” He exclaims as she steps back, causing her to freeze.
“I am so sorry Cassandra.” William puts his arms around her, gently pulling her stiff body close to kiss the top of her head. “I know I hurt you. That’s the last thing I meant to do.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Fuck that! It does! Please look at me.” Tipping her chin up, the emotion he’s finally able to see in her eyes tearing him apart. “Cassandra, you’re my life mate.” Careful of her bruises he frames her face. “You are the most important thing in my life! I know I’ve been lousy showing it, in keeping you safe. You and Victoria. There’s no excuse for it.”
“William.” She tries to stop him.
“No!” William’s fingers tighten, his eyes intense. “I need you to believe me Cassandra, to believe in me again. I had no reason to attack you for going to Lucas. You had every right to protect yourself, I wasn’t. Then to accuse you of not trusting me when I wasn’t telling you everything you needed to know.” Cassandra can’t stand seeing this proud, confident man doubting her belief in him, in himself. As her tears spill onto his hands, his eyes fill with pain.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.” Pulling her face into his chest he closes his eyes. How is he going to make this right?
Cassandra can’t be this close to him, feeling his pain and not comfort him. No matter what’s happened, what’s been said, she loves him. Wrapping her arms around him she pulls him closer. Feeling her arms around him William sucks in a sharp breath.
“Cassandra?” He whispers looking at her as she tips her head up. Her eyes still flooded with tears, she carefully stretches up looking for his mouth. He lowers his head to find hers in a gentle meeting of lips.
“I’ve always believed in you William, trusted you.” Her voice laced with tears as she eases out of his arms. “I’ve never stopped.” Taking a few steps away she forces herself to finish. “But that’s not enough is it.” She looks him in the eye. “Life mate or not, you don’t trust it, or me. Understandable when you think about it, it’s not everyone who’s responsible for the death of seven billion people.”
“You’re not responsible for that! Damn it Cassandra! The Regulians are!”
“But you’ve never really trusted me have you.” William can say nothing. “I didn’t realize it until this morning. Too wrapped up in you I guess.” She shakes her head. “I used to be smarter than that.” Suddenly tired, she heads to the couch picking up the bag that Javiera brought.
“Is it okay if I use your shower?” William finds it hard to swallow.
“Cassandra, it’s our shower, you don’t have to ask. This is your home.”
“No,” She gives him a sad look. “It’s not.” Walking into the bathroom she softly closes the door.
He’s losing her…His life mate….She’s right he hasn’t given her his full trust. Not like she’s given him. He’s allowed his experience with Salish to influence him. He’s never really forgiven her, Salish, for her lie, or himself for not questio
ning her more before they’d wed. He loved his sons but had felt only responsibility for their mother.
Cassandra wouldn’t tolerate being a responsibility, if anything that would piss her off. She’s the strongest, most loving, demanding, opinionated, brave, and loyal woman he’s ever met. She’s his life mate and despite her size, his equal. Is he really going to let another woman come between them?
William is shocked to discover that that’s exactly what he is doing. First Salish, then Falco, protecting himself from being lied to again. Only Cassandra has never lied to him. ’Honesty, whether I like it or not.’ That’s what she wants, but he’d never really given it to her. It’s time to start.
Cassandra’s tired. Mind, body and soul, hoping the heat of the shower will give her some relief she steps in. Closing her eyes she lets her mind go blank. Feeling William’s gentle kiss on her shoulder, his large hands resting on her narrow hips she opens her eyes. The shower would provide no relief.
“I need you Cassandra.” William admits next to her ear. “In every way possible, I need you.” Turning her to face him he continues. “I need to ask something of you. Something I have no right to ask after everything I’ve done. But I’m asking just the same. Can you give me time? Time to show you that I believe in you trust you, trust us. Everything’s happened so fast. You wanted to talk, slow things down. Can you give us the time for that?” His eyes implore her. “Can you still believe in me, trust in me, and give me time to show you how much I love you? No doubts, no comparisons just you and me, honesty whether we like it or not?” William waits knowing the rest of his life depends on her answer.
Cassandra’s turmoil is easy to read in her eyes. What is she supposed to do? Could she open herself back up to him? Risk being hurt by him again? Would she survive it? Would she survive without him? He says he loves her. Can she trust that? He’s only ever lied by omission. He isn’t the kind of man who says I love you to a woman and not mean it.
She can’t seem to resolve anything in her mind. She’s battered and bruised, her senses too assaulted to decide anything. Closing her eyes she rests her forehead on his chest.
“I’m tired, so tired.” With her voice quivering, William pulls her close finding it isn’t just her voice. Her entire body is starting to shake. She’s pushed too far. Grabbing a towel he quickly dries her before sweeping her up, carrying her to their bed.
“Rest Cassandra,” William covers her with a sheet. Pulling on a pair of bottoms he grabs the blanket from the couch wrapping it around her. Sitting next to her he can see her visible shaking. Sliding in next to her he pulls her close trying to calm her.
“I’m here Cassandra. I’ve got you, rest baby. Nothing has to be decided right now. I love you. Rest.” William closes his eyes willing her to calm, running a hand along her back the shakes slowly cease.
Chapter 7
Sitting on a cliff, Cassandra hears the crashing of the surf and watches in wonder the setting of three suns, the brilliance of the colors. Turning her head she sees Sabah sitting next to her.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Yes, its’ one of the things I missed most about Carina.”
“Do you regret it?” Sabah turns away from the setting suns to look at her descendant.
“Regret? Every important decision comes with some regret, otherwise it wouldn’t be important. The question you should be asking is, did what I find make up for what I left behind.”
“Did it?”
“I left behind my entire family. Everything I’d ever known. Everything I thought I was.” Sabah looks into her own eyes, in Cassandra’s face. “What I found was myself... who I really was, who I was meant to be. Children I would have never had on Carina, with a man I wouldn’t have been allowed to love. He’s my life mate. He sacrificed much because of me…for me. Many would say I gave more but he gave all he was. No one can give more than that.”
“You didn’t answer the question.” Sabah smiles at her.
“We left behind what others demanded we be, what they tried to make us believe must be. We found love, trust, and honesty even when we didn’t like it. We listened to each other.”
“So everything was perfect?”
“Hardly, we fought, we made up. My life mate is strong, opinionated, bull headed, and would die for me…I for him. But that doesn’t mean it was perfect. Perfect is….boring. We were imperfect, but we made a life together. A life I would sacrifice the setting suns for.”
Cassandra looked back at the suns. “How did you know you were choosing the right path?”
“I didn’t.” Cassandra blue eyes pierce Sabah’s. “All I knew was I wouldn’t give him up. He is worth any sacrifice, but I would never allow him to be one. They tried to convince me otherwise, including my life mate. Then one night I had a dream. I dreamed of the life I would have if I acquiesced. There was no joy, no laughter, not even pain. It was empty, dead like I would be without him even though I lived. So I rejected that life, choosing an uncertain one with him. I have no regrets. Will you be able to say the same?”
As the light from the setting suns began to fade so did Sabah.
Waking from the dream Cassandra is still. What did she want? A perfect life…or one with William…a life full of joy, sacrifice, arguments and trust. Where she knew he would never let go, would always be there for her? Would willingly die for her, as she would for him?
The mind that earlier couldn’t think now saw everything clearly. There were still obstacles to overcome, discussions they needed to have. But her mind is clear, William is her light, without him there is only darkness. He held on, she would do no less. She loved him would sacrifice everything for him.
The beating heart tells her she is on William’s chest, the warmth surrounding her, his arms. With her mind clear she replays what William’s asked of her. That she give him time to prove he loves her. That she trusts in him, believes in him until he proves he deserves it. Lifting her head she finds him watching her intently.
“You need more rest, sleep.”
“How long?”
“How long what?”
“Have I been asleep?”
“Eight hours.” His eyes show his concern. “You need more rest.”
“I’m fine.”
“You were shaking with exhaustion. It’s hasn’t even been forty-eight hours since the bombing. You need more rest.”
“You were trying to tell me something in the shower.” She carefully pushes herself up on her elbows unconcerned about her nakedness.
“Asking, asking you.”
“Since when does the Admiral ask?” William’s arms tense around her but cause no pain.
“The Admiral wasn’t in the shower with you.”
“What were you asking me?” William can sense something’s different. He’s not sure what it means, but he’d promised honesty even if he didn’t like the answer.
“I was asking you to give me time to earn your trust, to show you your belief in me is justified. To show you just how much I love you.”
“But those things aren’t possible William.” He’s told in a quiet voice and feels his heart start to break. “You either trust someone or you don’t. You either believe in them or you don’t. You can’t show someone you love them, you either do or you don’t.”
“I love you Cassandra, I believe in you, I trust you with my life. But after everything I’ve done wrong I don’t expect you to believe or trust in me.” He starts to gently move her to his side.
“What have I done?” The pain in her voice stops him. “To make you doubt me?”
“Nothing.”
“To make you believe I’d lie to you.”
“You never have.”
“So why don’t you trust my words?”
“Cassandra…” With Sabah’s words still echoing in her head Cassandra goes for what she wants.
“My mother died when I was nine. There was an accident. She survived for two weeks….I watched my dad suffer, knowing he was losing his sou
l mate, trying to believe she would recover. Watched my Gram’s, knowing she was losing her only daughter.”
“Cassandra….”
“Please listen.” She waits until he nods.
“As I watched them, I grieved.” William can see the pain in her eyes. “But not for the reasons you think. I grieved that no man would ever love me like that, would grieve for me like that, that I would never know the pain of losing a child, because I’d never know the joy of having one. You see I knew then….at nine….that there was no soul mate for me on Earth. No one I’d want to have a child with. So I would have none.”
“I’m your soul mate Cassandra. I will give you all the children you want.” William’s voice is thick but strong.
“Why? You can’t trust me. I could be like Salish…or Falco.”
“No! Damn it, I know the difference…I know who and what you are.”
“Are my words good enough for you William? Or do you need me to prove myself to you?”
“You have nothing to prove to me.”
“Then understand this William. You have nothing to prove to me.” She leans forward to kiss him.
“I love you.” Kisses him a little longer.
“I have always trusted and believed in you.” A longer kiss.
“I’m not letting go.” This time she sinks into him, pressing her breasts against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Rolling her carefully onto her back William breaks off the kiss. Staring down into her amazing blue eyes, he knows the gift he’s been given. He can see his future in her eyes….she’s it.
“I love you, Cassandra. I will never break your trust. I believe in you no matter what the odds. I’m never letting go.” Leaning down he gives her a passionate but short kiss.
“I’m also going to make sure you take care of yourself, even if you don’t like it.” Rolling out of the bed he heads to the comm center ordering up another meal.