“And you think you have all the answers?” Abi asked, her face flushing in agitation.
“Not at all,” Rylan said gently, “but if you recall you asked for me, and when I came you had some serious questions about God. I hope you’ll want to talk about that again.”
“I’m afraid of what He’ll do to me next,” Abi admitted.
“Why are you afraid of Him?”
“He’s God. He can do anything.”
“Who taught you about God?”
“My grandfather was a pastor, but then he left my grandmother. I don’t know why. I haven’t cared for pastors for a long time.”
“I can see how you would feel that way,” Rylan said, thinking how hard it must have been. “How will you know you can trust anything I have to say?”
“Kaderly says you’re all right. He says you’ve helped lots of folks.”
Rylan nodded and then asked, “Do you want to know why I am the way I am?”
Abi nodded, for once her book the furthest thing from her mind.
“I’ve read in my Bible that God sent His Son to die for all men,” Rylan continued. “I’ve also read that the only way to have a relationship with God is through His Son. I need that relationship. I need it more than I need my next breath. So I did what the Bible said. I believed on the Lord Jesus Christ to save me from my sins.
“I didn’t go around beating on other people, but I still was and am a sinner. I wanted salvation for my sins. God offered me that and a life as His child. I accepted and believed. I don’t always do the right thing. I still sin, but the shed blood of Jesus was poured out for my sins, and I’m forgiven.
“There is nothing sweeter in all of the world than being forgiven. And the best news is, there’s room for all. For all who see things God’s way and believe on His Son, there is forgiveness and life as His child.”
Abi thought she might have forgotten to breathe while he was talking. Her grandfather had tried to scare folks into doing things God’s way. Pastor Jarvik spoke of forgiveness, and Abi would have been a liar if she’d said she wasn’t interested.
“Do you talk about this on Sundays?” Abi eventually asked.
“This and much more.”
“What time do you preach?”
“The service starts at ten o’clock.”
Abi nodded, relief coursing through her. She could hear more. She could think on what he’d said and hear more about it in the morning.
“I think I’ll come.”
“I hope you will,” Rylan invited.
Abi didn’t say anything for a moment. Rylan was about to ask her if she’d changed her mind and wanted some coffee or something to eat, but she suddenly grew intense.
“I want to go see Cassidy Norton. Will you go along?”
“Certainly,” Rylan agreed, surprised but still willing.
There was no further discussion. Abi got to her feet, and Rylan paid for his coffee. With their coats back on, they started down the street.
“You’re welcome, Mrs. Potts. I hope you’ll enjoy it.”
“Has anyone else been in?” that lady said, something of a bee in her bonnet concerning Cassidy’s situation.
“As a matter of fact, Mrs. Ferguson from next door asked me to mend some clothing. She found holes in some of her winter wear.”
“Good!” Mrs. Potts said, taking her leave a moment later, leaving Cassidy smiling in her wake. She was getting ready to start on the mending when Rylan walked in, Abi with him.
“Hello,” Rylan greeted, entering first. Abi had started to hang back and entered rather slowly behind him.
“Hello,” Cassidy said in return.
“Is this a good time?” Rylan asked.
“Certainly,” Cassidy said and turned directly to the other woman. “How are you, Abi?”
“I heard what you did,” Abi said with her typical lack of social skills.
“I’m just sorry you got hurt.”
“Did you get hurt?”
“Not like you did,” Cassidy said, not quite sure how to answer. She fought the urge to look at Rylan, wishing she knew exactly what to say.
“Why didn’t you tell people who your brother was before I got hurt?” Abi wanted to know.
“I didn’t want him to find me,” Cassidy said quietly.
Neither Rylan nor Cassidy could tell what Abi was thinking. She glanced around as though she was going to say more, but didn’t.
“I have to go” was what abruptly came out.
The pastor and seamstress both said goodbye as Abi moved toward the door, but Abi didn’t answer. Rylan made sure that Cassidy was all right before he went on his way, but it was any man’s guess as to whether the local author would be in church in the morning.
“How was your day?” Trace asked once they had cleared town on their way to the ranch. He had brought blankets and had Cassidy well wrapped for the ride.
“It was interesting,” Cassidy said, wondering where to start. She didn’t think he knew about the marriage proposal. She had not talked with him concerning Neal hurting Abi. Rylan and Abi’s visit was on her mind, and Sheriff Kaderly had come the day before to question her about her thoughts on Neal. She knew she just had to start somewhere and did.
“Has Meg talked to you anymore about Hiram Brickel?”
“No. Is he still ordering things and expecting delivery?”
“Yes, and all with the express purpose of getting me to marry him.”
Trace slowly turned his head to look at Cassidy, waiting for her to laugh at her own joke. Her face told him it was no laughing matter.
“When did this start?” Trace asked quietly, working to control his emotions.
“The day after you left,” Cassidy said, remembering it very clearly. She gave a brief overview of what had gone on and then fell quiet. Trace was quiet too, and Cassidy worried a little.
“Are you upset with me?” she asked when he stopped the wagon in the yard, making no move to get out.
“No,” Trace said simply, but in a tone that left her no doubt. “I think we need to talk about what you should say in the future to Mr. Brickel and how you should handle this, but you’re not the one in trouble.”
Trace had climbed out and was waiting to help her down, but Cassidy did not move. She sat looking at him. “What are you going to do?” she asked.
“If you can’t make it very clear that you’re off limits, I will.”
Cassidy nodded, still thinking on it. Trace helped her down, and she found herself drawn into his arms.
“You look like you’re worrying,” he said quietly, hugging her close.
“I had so much to tell you, and I only got to one topic.”
Trace was going to say they had the rest of the evening but took one look at her tired eyes and changed his mind.
“Come for the day tomorrow.”
“I was going to ask all of you to join me for dinner.”
“Can you have us next week? I think you and I need to talk, and that’s probably going to be easier here.”
Seeing his point, Cassidy nodded. Trace let her go so she could head into the house and warm up.
“How did you sleep?” Meg asked of Cassidy when the women met in the kitchen on Sunday morning.
“Very well. It’s so wonderfully quiet out here.”
“Yes, it is. I’m glad you didn’t hear Savanna.”
“Were you up much?”
“No, just for about twenty minutes at three o’clock.”
“Do you fall right back to sleep?”
“I didn’t at first, but I do now.”
Both women heard Brad calling from upstairs. Meg heard the baby crying at the same time and left the kitchen. Cassidy sat down to her coffee and toast. She was trying to decide if she wanted anything more when Trace joined her.
“You’re wearing your shirt,” Cassidy noted with pleasure the moment she spotted him.
“How does it look?” he asked, looking pleased himself.
“Very
nice,” Cassidy said, feeling a bit of pride in her workmanship as well as in how good the medium blue shirt looked on the handsome Trace Holden.
“You know,” she teased him a little, “if I could just have you model that this morning for the church family, I might get a few more orders.”
“Maybe I could stand up front when Rylan is done and make an announcement,” Trace teased right back, turning as though he were on display.
“Nice shirt,” Meg commented when she came back, Savanna in her arms.
“Do you want me to take her?” Cassidy offered.
“Have you eaten?” Meg and Trace said at the same time and laughed.
“Yes,” Cassidy said.
“What did you eat?” Trace pressed the point.
“Toast and coffee.”
“I’m about to make eggs. I’ll put some in the pan for you.”
“Was that a not-so-subtle hint about how I’m taking care of myself?” Cassidy asked, but she didn’t turn down the eggs.
“No,” Trace denied, working to look innocent.
Meg handed off the baby and helped with breakfast. Cassidy made herself stay seated. It was nice to come here and be cared for, and with the things that had come into her life lately, she realized this was just what she needed.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE HOLDENS AND CASSIDY arrived in plenty of time for the service. They sat together, a normal occurrence, but Trace and Cassidy sat closer than usual. They were talking about Cassidy’s conversations with Rylan, Sheriff Kaderly, and Abi until Cassidy noticed something.
“What do you keep staring at?” Cassidy asked, having watched Trace’s eyes and the way they strayed.
“Your hair,” he admitted. “I like it down your back.”
“Thank you,” she said.
For a moment their eyes met, but both soon looked away. Their new awareness was both sweet and powerful, but the sermon would be starting soon. For this time their minds did not need to be on each other.
Abi Pfister was not on time for the service but did slip in before Rylan began his sermon. She sat in the back, not removing her coat but appearing to listen closely to every word he said. Rylan spoke on the fear of God but also on hungering after God.
“How greedy and hungry are you for God’s blessing?” Rylan asked. “Our sin keeps God from blessing us as He wishes. He’s waiting to pour out His blessing upon us, but too often our sin keeps that from happening in full measure.
“Look in Psalm 119 with me. Listen as I read, starting in verse fifty-seven: ‘Thou art my portion, O LORD: I have said that I would keep thy words.’ Did you hear the promise of the Psalmist here? He’s taking God’s words seriously.
“Now the next verse. ‘I entreated thy favor with my whole heart: be merciful unto me according to thy word. I thought on my ways.’ ”
Rylan stopped in the middle of verse fifty-nine and looked up. “I’ve read that part over and over. ‘I thought on my ways.' How often do I stop and think about what I’m going to do or what I’m planning to do? Listen to the rest of that verse and the next. ‘And turned my feet unto thy testimonies. I made haste, and delayed not to keep thy commandments.'
“Did you catch it? The writer stopped and thought about what he was doing and made haste to keep God’s commandments. This is someone who understands that he must hunger after God’s blessing. In order to receive that blessing, God’s commandments must be obeyed.”
Abi was not missing a word, even the ones she didn’t completely understand. She had some questions, but as Rylan concluded and had the congregation bow their heads for a closing prayer, she slipped from her pew and back out the door. She didn’t mind talking to Rylan about what she’d heard today, but she didn’t know if she trusted anyone else.
Folks visited after the service in the usual way. While Heather and Cassidy talked, Chas snagged Trace before he could move ten steps.
“Did my eyes deceive me,” the older man asked, “or are things a little warmer with you and our Cassie?”
Trace did nothing to hide his smile, and Chas' shoulders shook in silent laughter.
“I just have one thing to say,” Chas dropped his voice a little.
“What’s that?”
“It’s about time.”
Trace laughed out loud this time.
“I had begun to think all of you were blind,” Chas admitted.
Trace was still laughing when Chas thumped him on the chest and went on his way.
“Jeanette wants us to come to dinner,” Brad told Trace after Chas walked away.
“Okay,” Trace said with little enthusiasm, causing Brad to look at him.
“What’s up?”
“I told Cass to plan on coming back with us so she and I can talk.”
“I’m sure that won’t be an issue at Jeanette’s. There are more rooms to work with there, and you know she’ll understand.”
Trace nodded, and Brad said he would make sure Jeanette knew. Trace went to find Cassidy and tell her about the change in plans. Ten minutes later all of the Holdens, together with Jeanette, Heather, and Cassidy, climbed into the Holden’s wagon for the ride to the house.
“How are you, Chandler?” Rylan asked that man when the building was almost empty.
“I’ve been better,” Chandler answered truthfully. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, thanks for asking, but can we talk about what’s bothering you?”
Chandler nodded, even as he admitted to himself that it would feel better to talk about what he was thinking.
“If you don’t mind leftovers,” Rylan offered, “you’re welcome to join me for dinner.”
“I don’t mind,” Chandler agreed, and when the last folks left the church building, the two men walked to Rylan’s house. It was warm in the kitchen where Rylan began to heat up leftover chicken and dumplings and slice a loaf of bread.
“Did you bake this yourself?” Chandler asked, already impressed.
“No. My bread is all right, but Heather brought this from Jeanette’s. Becky’s bread is exceptional.”
As Rylan worked on the meal, he began a gentle conversation, starting with Chandler’s work.
“It’s been a little busier than usual,” Chandler said. “A number of houses are being built or worked on—folks trying to get things done before it’s too frigid to move. Building always assures a need for money.”
“Nice for the banking business,” Rylan said.
“Yes, it is,” Chandler agreed, but he didn’t sound overly pleased. Rylan decided to plunge in.
“What’s troubling you?”
“I figured out a little too late that I have feelings for Cassidy,” Chandler answered, saying exactly what he was thinking.
Rylan nodded and kept listening. Like Chas, he had not missed the change in Cassidy and Trace’s relationship.
“Trace has spoken up, and clearly Cassidy feels the same way. I was thinking that she might have feelings for me, but I guess I was wrong.”
“You never spoke to her about it?” Rylan asked.
“No. I was waiting to see if I would just somehow know. Why is it that the moment Trace tells me I can’t have Cassidy, I’m sure she’s the one?”
“Maybe you’ve been competing with Trace and not realized it. As long as he kept his distance, you were free not to have to choose or make up your mind where Cassie was concerned.”
“Is that your way of saying that as soon as I get over not winning, I’ll realize it wasn’t about loving Cassidy at all?”
“So you feel that you love her?”
“Yes, I do,” Chandler admitted, his heart heavy in his chest. “I also treated her as no one should have. I’ve repented to her and to God, but I still feel awful about it.”
In the next two hours the men talked about everything that had gone on in Chandler’s life in the past ten days. He had had much to repent of—anger, fear, and jealousy—and it helped to tell Rylan about it. Rylan could not give him any comfort about having Cassid
y for his wife. It looked to the pastor as though Trace and she had an understanding. But Chandler still felt better for having unburdened himself.
By the time he left Rylan’s house, his outlook was greatly improved. He couldn’t think about Cassidy without pain, but he had begun to take Rylan’s words to heart. Chandler prayed for Cassidy and her future, asking God’s blessing on her life, even if he was never going to be in the picture.
Trace and Cassidy had taken up residence in the small parlor when dinner was over. The door was open, the fire blazing high, and they sat in the chairs close to the flames so they could talk and be warm on this chilly day.
“I’m concerned about Mr. Brickel’s intentions toward you,” Trace admitted. “I don’t want you put in that position, and I don’t want him getting it into his head that he has to take more drastic measures to persuade you.”
“Why would you think that might happen?”
“I don’t think it will, but it’s not out of the scope of my imagination. I would rather you did not go back to his house, even if it means passing up an order.”
Cassidy nodded and said, “His orders have been large, but they’re not going to make or break things for me at this point.”
“And you need to say whatever works,” Trace said next. “You haven’t made your dress, and we haven’t talked to Rylan about a date, but that doesn’t mean this wedding isn’t going to happen.”
Cassidy nodded, suddenly warmer than the fire merited. It got worse when Trace spoke again.
“You tell Mr. Brickel that a certain rancher is very much in love with you and does not appreciate his interference.”
Again Cassidy could only nod, wondering if her face looked as warm as it felt.
“I’ll tell him,” Cassidy managed, but her voice was very soft.
“I think it’s a good thing we didn’t share the sofa,” Trace said. The softness in Cassidy’s eyes was getting to him.