"Eli." She breathed his name, looking up at him, feeling helpless and vulnerable.
Eli looked down into Catarina's face. She was so beautiful and she looked so frightened. He dragged her close, tight into him, fitting her body into his while his hands held her face tipped upward toward his. He brought his mouth down gently. He didn't feel gentle, but she needed this moment. She needed gentle and tender.
He kissed her with love. He even tasted it on his own tongue. He didn't have a clue when it happened, maybe the first time he found himself laughing with her, but he definitely knew when he stretched out beside her and tugged her body into his in bed. He didn't sleep with women. He had no problems fucking them, but then they were gone. He was gone. He didn't bring them home, especially not here.
Everything changed the moment Catarina stepped into his house--everything--because it felt different. It felt like home instead of a house. So he held himself back, and it took a lot of restraint to control the wildness building inside of him. He kissed her over and over, his tongue stroking caresses, teasing and dueling with hers until her breathing was ragged and her hands were frantic.
Then he devoured her with a ravenous appetite that knew no boundaries. He took her mouth like the savage cat he was, bit her lower lip, the one he couldn't get his mind off. He loved her mouth and he made certain she knew it intimately.
He left her mouth to burn kisses down her throat. He liked that she was naked and he was fully clothed. There was something very decadent about that. He kept her hands from pulling his shirt off. Instead he dropped his hands to the waistband of his sweats and pushed them down over his hips.
Her gaze dropped. Her breath caught. He widened his stance as he bunched her long hair in his fist. Her leopard was rising close to the surface again, and as much as he wanted to give her the time to heal, there was only one way to stop the terrible burn.
"Kneel down, baby," he said, keeping his voice low, an authoritative whip.
"I need . . ." She trailed off.
"I know what you need, just kneel down, knees wide. I want to see that you're wet and ready for me. I want to see that you enjoy giving your man pleasure." It was subtle enough, he slipped that in there, knowing in her highly aroused state she wouldn't notice that he'd called himself her man. She'd get used to it though.
She moistened her lips and he nearly groaned. She was sexy without trying, her body flushed, her breasts swaying with every move she made. He wanted to touch her, but he didn't allow himself to. That would lead to other things, and right now, he wanted her to learn about pleasing him.
He kept his gaze on hers, not giving an inch when she hesitated, and finally, she dropped her eyes to his fully aroused cock and then slowly sank to her knees. She was graceful, beautiful, her dark hair a sharp contrast to her light skin. Her breasts drew his attention, full and round and high, her nipples taut, waiting for his mouth.
Her hands slid up his thighs and then she was cupping his sac and he wanted to throw his head back and roar with primal need, but he breathed his way through it, using his hand in her hair to pull her head over him.
"That's what you need, Cat, right there. You learned a little last night. You're going to learn more right now." He exerted pressure on her head.
Her tongue licked up his shaft and then up and over the flared head. His breath left his lungs in a rush. She began licking like a cat. Over his balls, under them, up his shaft and back down, and then he was inside her hot, moist mouth and she sucked, her tongue still dancing. She had good instincts and she used them. He let her explore on her own until he thought he might lose his mind.
Breathing deep, he caught her hair on both sides of her head and held her still. He waited until her eyes met his. The cobalt blue had gone a deep violet and he could see her leopard was close. So close. She was wild and needy. He scented Cat's call, and the taste of honey and spice was already on his tongue.
"That's good, Kitten, very good. Right now, I'm going to push a little deeper. I want you to take a breath and relax, let me in. I'll count to ten and give you another breath." He waited until she complied and then he took over, not allowing movement while he gently thrust deeper with his hips.
For a moment he thought she'd struggle. He watched her face carefully. Her gaze didn't leave his and he saw her make the effort to relax her mouth and throat for him. He inched farther into that tunnel of unbearable tightness. He pulled back and let her have air before he thrust again. The pleasure was exquisite. Perfect. He went three more times, not taking advantage, not sliding deeper.
"We'll go fifteen counts, babe," he bit out. It came out more a growl. He couldn't help it. She was beautiful on her knees, her mouth tight around his cock, her legs open so he could see the welcoming moisture collecting at her entrance.
She nodded and he watched her take another breath. He slipped deeper this time, still gentle, still careful.
"Suck hard, baby, use your tongue."
He loved that she complied, that she didn't question him or fight him. Her hands cupped his balls, slid over his thighs, always kept contact with him as he thrust gently deep into her mouth.
The fire in his belly grew, flames leaping and burning and his cock felt scorched in the blaze, enveloped in the inferno of her mouth. He pulled back before it was too late, and pulled her to her feet, no longer gentle. She'd driven him out of his mind with her mouth and he wanted her his way.
He lifted her easily, planted her butt on the edge of the counter, yanked her knees apart, pushed one hand into her belly so she was forced to tip backward, forced to prop herself up on her elbows. That gave him access to everything he wanted. He dipped his head and ate her. Ravenously. Ferociously. A man starved.
He was ruthless. Relentless. This was his and he was addicted to it. Honey and spice, a scorching tight cauldron, all his. She screamed out an orgasm as he took her up fast, but he hardly heard with the roaring in his head and the thundering of his blood in his ears. He suckled, licked, used his fingers and thumb, the edge of his teeth and kept devouring her right through a second and third orgasm.
"I need you. Please, I need you now."
Her sobbing plea finally penetrated. He licked the honey off her thighs and lifted his head, again waiting.
"Tell me what you need, and use my name."
Her breath hissed out, her eyes flashing at him. He dragged her ass right off the counter, her legs over his shoulder, his mouth clamped between her legs, feeding, uncaring that she writhed and struggled. He forced another orgasm, this one so powerful she screamed through it. He didn't stop.
"Eli! Please. Eli." She sounded close to tears, not sobbing with pleasure, but real tears. She didn't like asking. "I need you inside me. Please."
He rewarded her instantly, pulling her all the way off the counter. "Wrap your legs around me, Kitten. Hook your ankles." He was full. Bursting even. His cock felt as if it might explode. His body was hotter than hades and lightning seemed to fork through his veins.
She did exactly what he instructed and he didn't waste time--he surged up as he forced her hips down. Fire streaked through him. His cock drove through hot, tight folds, forcing her body to accommodate his size. Her tight channel squeezed him and the friction, as he pummeled into her, just drove him wilder.
He needed more, and he took her to the floor, pumping into her even as he went down over her. There was no give, nothing to cushion her body, so he could pound into her deeper and harder.
She used her feet to push upward, tilting her hips to allow for even deeper penetration. Her nails bit into his shoulders, scored down his back and the bite of pain only added to the frenzy of need. He allowed himself to lose control. He didn't want to ever stop. He never wanted to be separated from her, and he damn well wasn't going to let her think she could ever live without him. Without this.
He had no other way to tie her to him, but he had this. This he was good at. He might say and do the wrong thing, but he would tie her to him this way. He moved in her
and the earth moved around him. He bent his head to her breast, suckling hard, using the edge of his teeth and feeling the hot wash of spiced honey bathing his cock as he plunged into her over and over.
She came again and then again, gasping for breath, her eyes shocked and dazed, which only spurred him on. He whipped his arm under her hips, lifting her more, pounding deep as fire streaked up from his legs, burst through his thighs and took his cock in a crowning storm. Her body clamped down, a vicious vise around him, locking there as he emptied himself into her, the friction bordering on pain. The scalding heat triggered a powerful quake in her, sweeping through her entire body, a long, hard orgasm that seemed as if it might never go away.
He took a breath, his hair damp, his body covered in sweat, but for once in his life, he was completely sated, limp and relaxed. He let himself cover her smaller body, resting on her soft curves, feeling her heart pounding every bit as hard as his own. He was heavy, too heavy for her, and he levered himself up, staying buried in her.
They were locked tight, their bodies connected and he wanted to stay there. He pushed at her heavy fall of hair. She didn't look at him. She kept her face turned away and her eyes closed tight. He felt the little hitch in her breath. She was going to cry, and this wasn't about pleasure or need, this was something altogether different. This was about shame.
"Don't." He ordered it. Meant it.
Her hands curled at his shoulders. She exerted pressure. He didn't move. He decided on honesty.
"I'm trying to think of something to say that will help you understand what's going on, baby, but all I can think about is how much I love being inside of you. You're scorching hot and fucking tight, wrapped around me and I feel like I'm in paradise. I don't want that to end. Tell me how it feels to you."
Little aftershocks were still going off and he felt every one of them. Her muscles squeezed down with hot greed, still trying to milk him.
"This isn't me."
"It's you, Cat. This is you. You don't just like sex--you love it. You have more passion in your little finger than most people do in their entire bodies."
"I'm naked on the kitchen floor."
"That's right, baby, and it was heaven. I want to do you in every fucking room I have. Outside. Inside. Hell, on the roof."
"This isn't me," she denied, biting her lower lip.
He leaned down and licked along her lip to soothe the sting. The action set off another series of aftershocks and she gasped.
"This is you, Catarina. It was you wanting to please me when I told you to get on your knees. You didn't have to, but you wanted to."
He saw the truth on her face. She had wanted to. He leaned closer and brushed his mouth over hers. "I bet my taste is still in your mouth. You wanted all of it, didn't you? You didn't want to stop."
A single sound slipped from her throat. Her lashes fluttered.
"It wasn't about what you could get from me. You knelt in front of me and you were wet, dripping wet with your mouth around my cock. That was you. All you. There's nothing wrong with being that person. In fact, you should be rejoicing. People go their entire lives without ever having what we just had."
"I don't want this to be me. I want to have love in my life. I want to be loved. I don't want to be the kind of person who uses a man for sex and has him use me."
He framed her face again and brushed a kiss across her lips. "Baby, here's a little newsflash for you. There's no way in hell a man could be with you and not fall in love."
9
CATARINA sat in the very comfortable chair on the front porch of Eli's ranch house. She was still warm from the bath he'd run for her and snug in another one of his very expensive flannel shirts. He took care of her. She had to admit that whether she wanted to or not.
Lying on the kitchen floor, totally naked, she'd felt humiliated that she'd jumped him again, and this time it was far, far worse than the last time because she really was addicted to the taste of him. And to his body. And to her absolute mortification, she liked rough sex. On the floor. In the kitchen.
She pressed her fingers to her eyes to try to ease the headache she couldn't quite get rid of. Her skull felt far too tight, as if it no longer fit inside her skin. The worst was knowing Eli knew the truth about her. She had wanted to kneel at his feet. She liked his hands hard in her hair, guiding her mouth. She liked the low, almost soft voice that carried absolute command when he told her what he wanted.
She groaned softly trying to get the sounds of her own moans and pleas out of her head. In her wildest dreams she'd never imagined ending up bare naked on the kitchen floor, wild and out of control.
She knew if she'd been with Rafe naked on the floor, it would have ended very differently. Instead of holding her the way Eli had he would have left her lying there, uncaring that she was upset and confused. Uncaring that her body felt a little bruised and battered, although very sated.
Eli had taken the time to talk to her. He'd been honest, maybe even brutally so, but he did it in a way that made her feel she mattered and he just wanted her to understand and accept who she was. He obviously didn't think something was wrong with her.
He had been gentle, carrying her through to the bathroom, running her a hot bath, telling her to clean up and he'd bring her another shirt. He had done the dishes and made fresh coffee by the time she was out. Then he carried her out to the porch and told her to take a little break, he'd be out soon. Rafe wouldn't have done any of that.
There was no sound, but she knew the instant Eli stepped through the door onto the porch. "I brought a couple of beignets to go with coffee, Kitten," he said, and bent to brush a kiss across her mouth. He put the coffee and small plate of dessert beside her on the little end table and then pulled up a chair behind her.
"What are you doing?" She glanced over her shoulder to see him sprawled in a chair, his legs splayed out and around her chair.
"Your hair is bothering you. I'm going to braid it for you."
Her heart stuttered. She had so much hair it was difficult to keep her arms up when she was working with it so often she just clipped it back or wore it in a ponytail.
"Lean back, baby."
There it was again, his low, commanding tone. He used it often. Now that she thought about it, Ridley had used it as well.
"You don't have to braid my hair, Eli. There's a lot of it."
"I'm familiar with your hair, Cat. When a man is crazy about his woman's hair, he is aware of just about every strand on her head. I'm crazy about your hair. I love the way it looks when you're first waking up. I love the way it feels on my body when you've got my cock in your mouth. I love the way it falls down your back like a fucking waterfall with so much shine sometimes I think it's going to blind me."
Her teeth tugged at her bottom lip. What could she say to that? Absolutely nothing. That was the kind of thing she wanted to hold to her and take out occasionally in secret and listen to all over again. Eli gave her compliments just like Ridley, only maybe better.
She leaned her head back. The brush went through her hair, a long smooth stroke. It felt wonderful on her scalp. He took his time brushing her hair, seeming to enjoy it. The brush pulling through her hair was almost hypnotic. She closed her eyes for a few minutes and just let herself enjoy it.
Peace stole over her. The view was incredible, and for the first time in her life she felt as if she was home. Catarina didn't try to analyze why, she just allowed herself to enjoy the moment. She drank coffee and ate one of the beignets. They weren't quite as good cool as they were fresh and hot, but it was sugar and that went great with the strong coffee. It was perfect.
"Do you let your leopard run free very often?"
He divided her hair into thirds. "I try to every day, but when I'm on a job, sometimes that's not always possible."
"Are you gone a lot, working?"
He tugged gently. "If you're asking me will I be away from my mate now that I've found her, the answer is no. I don't need to work. I inherited a lot
of money. It was in a trust and I couldn't touch the bulk of it until I turned thirty-one. I work because I wanted to. Now I don't. I'll be handing in my resignation."
She tried to turn her head but his hands in her hair prevented her from doing that. "Eli. You can't do that. You love your job, and I still feel very confused." Her lashes swept down. "I don't know if I can ever trust you again. It was hard enough the first time. I'm still asking myself if you're seducing me in order to get me to do what you want."
"Of course I am. I want you to stay with me. I know you're not going to testify against Cordeau. But you're mine, Cat, and I'm not giving you up. It's natural for you to be afraid, and I'll have to work at earning your trust back, but I will."
"You lied to me."
"Only about my name. The man who was with you in the warehouse was all me. Maybe not so bossy or crude like I can be, but he was me. I gave you me."
"Where were you that day? You always came to walk me home, but you didn't that day. It was Tuttle, not you."
"He's a moron. He doesn't do undercover work and he sure as hell can't tail someone without them spotting it. I'd heard they were going to move on you and I wanted to stop them. I spent the day arguing. During the meeting I got wind that maybe someone had tipped Cordeau and I needed to run that down. If it was true, I planned to lay the entire thing out for you myself."
Catarina swallowed hard. "Eli, I don't want you to change your life on the chance that I might want to stay. I don't know if I can get that trust back. I don't even know what's going on here between us. Is this just until my leopard emerges? Is this supposed to be a lifetime deal and I've got no say in it? I can't tell you I'll stay."
"You'll stay. Shifters mate for life, Cat. You'll stay."
She winced, afraid he was right. If her leopard only had two choices, Eli or Rafe, and she didn't even know if Rafe would take her back or kill her, she knew she would rather be with Eli. He might never love her, or she him, but he cared enough to take care of her after they had wild, crazy sex. She blushed again just thinking about it.
"You sore?"