She studied his face for what seemed an eternity. He didn't move, just let her body squeeze and burn the hell out of his sensitive crown. His cocked throbbed and jerked, but the rest of him remained utterly still. He saw it first in her eyes. A slow surrender. His heart beat faster. His mouth went dry.
He knew her. He knew once Catarina gave herself to him again it was a done deal until or unless he screwed up, and then he'd never have her again. This was it. Now or never. He watched her little tongue touch her lip where his had been.
"Can I have you, sweetheart?" he asked again. Softly. Letting her see him. What he felt inside for her. "Give yourself to me." Because he was never going to screw up with her again.
She nodded slowly, her gaze clinging to his. Again, her teeth were tugging hard at her bottom lip, a sign of the momentous decision she was making. There was a plea in her eyes that broke his heart. She was handing him herself once again and was terrified of the consequences. She was giving him forgiveness and a chance to start again. It was monumental and her decision humbled him. He didn't deserve it, but he was taking it.
He leaned forward again and took her mouth. Gently. Reverently. In awe of her and the gift she gave him. He slowly raised his head, one hand trailing over her breast, down her belly to the place where they were joined together. "Mine," he whispered softly. "Thank you."
He pushed a little deeper and found himself swearing softly, his teeth coming together as her hot, sweet channel closed around the first inch of him like a vise. "Fucking tight, baby," he whispered, and sank another inch so that his entire crown was totally surrounded by a tight fist of scorching flames. She took his breath away, pushed every ounce of air right out of his lungs.
He forced his body to stay slow, not wanting to be rough with her, but she was killing him. Killing him with some kind of rapture that threatened to take the top of his head off.
She was tense, her muscles taut, and he gently slipped his hands to her thighs. "Open for me, Kitten. Relax and open for me. Let me have you."
She nodded but it took a moment for her to take a breath and consciously open her knees wider for him. He rubbed the inside of her thighs with a gentle circular motion, waiting for her inner muscles to ease just a little for him. It didn't happen. She'd given herself to him, but letting him take her was another matter altogether.
Eli withdrew and she gasped, disappointment flaring in her eyes. "I'm trying, Eli," she whispered. "I really am."
"I know, baby. I just want this to be good for you. Tell me what's going on inside that beautiful head of yours. You always talk to me."
He pushed two fingers into her, stretching gently, finding her clit to stroke with the same gentleness.
"I'm so scared of this. If you're rough . . ." She trailed off when he shook his head.
"I want to make love to you, just like this. I want to feel every inch of you with my body, and I want you to feel me. This is about giving ourselves to each other, not taking the pleasure as high as it can go. This is about me worshipping your body. Because, Kitten, that's exactly what I'm doing."
"I know." Tears glittered in her eyes. "I can feel it, and it scares me, Eli. Giving myself to you scares me so bad."
"I know it does," he said, watching her face as his fingers continued stroking and working her. He watched the helpless pleasure begin to push away the tension in her face. "But you aren't paying attention, baby. I'm giving myself to you. I've never given myself to a woman before. I've never taken the time to love her. To be like this with her. This is me, giving myself to you."
The last of the tension drained from her face and she blinked rapidly to push the tears back. "Then, Eli, you need to be inside of me where you belong," she whispered softly. "Because I feel empty without you."
He closed his eyes for a moment. "Damn it, baby, you're fucking killing me here, saying things like that to me."
He replaced his fingers with the head of his cock, pushing in to feel her silken fist grasp him and try to pull him deeper into her hot depths. The vise took his breath, but still, he couldn't resist licking the honey from his fingers. Her taste was so addictive, already he missed it.
He didn't power through her tight folds, but slipped in one increment at a time, one slow inch, taking a breath each time, feeling her body fight the invasion, but slowly give way, just as the woman had done. She gave way inch by inch. Letting him take her. Letting him have her.
She gasped, her eyes wide with shock at how stretched she felt. At the stinging and burning as his thick, long cock relentlessly but slowly, sank into her. He groaned, a fine sheen of sweat covering him. Sweat beaded on his forehead. He wasn't altogether certain he could survive long enough to bury himself all the way inside of her.
He'd never seen anything so beautiful as the sight of Catarina pinned beneath him, impaled by his cock, stretching her, taking her for his own. Her breasts swayed with the short little rocking rhythm he'd set to take him into her. His cock was in heaven or hell, he couldn't decide which. The pleasure was so intense it was close to pain, her body so scorching hot surrounding his with so much silk it breathed over him as it strangled him.
He laid one hand right below her belly button, fingers splayed wide. "Don't fucking move, baby. I want this to last more than five seconds and right now, for the first time since I was thirteen, I don't know if that's possible."
"Eli." Her voice pleaded with him. "I don't think I can stay still. I really don't." Her breath came in ragged gasps and her hips tried to buck, to force him all the way inside. "I want to do what you ask, but . . ."
"But you will, won't you, Kitten? For me. Because I ask you to. Because you want to please me. You'll stay still for me." His voice had gone low, velvet and steel.
Her gaze searched his and he saw the exact moment when she forced air through her lungs in an effort to do as he asked. Her breasts lifted and fell. Her body stilled around his so he could only feel her hot, wet channel clamped so hard around him.
His woman. Listening to him. He loved that. He needed that from his woman. He needed to know he mattered to her and that what gave him pleasure mattered to her. His thumb found her clit and did a slow lazy circle, watching the helpless pleasure take her over. More honey spilled around him, fiery hot. He wasn't going to be able to prolong this much longer.
He wrapped his fingers around the slender calf of her leg and drew it around his waist. The action allowed him to sink deeper. He closed his eyes briefly, absorbing the pleasure. He drew her second leg up. "Lock your ankles, baby," he instructed softly. "Hang on to me."
She did, sliding her arms around him, the trust he needed from her there in her eyes. He caught her with one arm around her hips and pushed into her. Her tight folds gave way, and her mouth opened as he took a breath and pushed a second time. Then he was there, balls deep, the very tip of his cock bumping her cervix. He was surrounded by fire, in a tunnel of silk, a fist so tight it threatened to strangle him.
He decided she was paradise. Pure fucking paradise. He swore he could feel each individual muscle wrapped around his cock. Her body vibrated and the feeling radiated up his shaft to nearly blow that ultrasensitive crown right off of him. The tears were back in her eyes. She felt small under him, her deep channel far too tight, but now his body remembered the feeling of moving in her, being part of her.
He bent his head and kissed her belly and then began a slow slide out, withdrawing nearly to the very hilt, loving the way her eyes went wide and her lips protested. He shoved back in hard. Fast. Driving through the tight folds to claim her.
She gasped, her legs tightening around him. He smiled at her. "You like that, don't you, Kitten? You like it when I drive hard."
Her tongue licked at her lips. She nodded. "Please. Yes. Eli, please."
He gave her one more hard, fast stroke, and withdrew very slowly, watching her frown, feeling her hips buck as she tried to get him back.
"Let's see if you like this," he said softly. He set a much slower pace, going de
ep, but driving in slowly so he could feel the way her muscles grabbed at him. Locked down on him. He kept an easy, almost lazy pace, showing her slow and lazy could be good in a different way. He ground over her little button, keeping the friction there, watching the color spread over her body like a soft rose blush.
"Yeah, baby, you like that too, don't you?" he whispered. He kept his attention exactly where it needed to be, right over her wonderful little sweet spot, so greedy, so in need. He kept a crazy leisurely pace, feeling the power in his body, the gathering, his balls tightening. Fingers of desire, of need, danced up and down his thighs.
He felt a force gathering in her body as she surrounded him. Her thighs tensed, her breath, her arms locking him closer even as her delicate inner muscles locked down on his cock. He pulled back and slammed hard. Once. Twice. Three times.
Catarina screamed as she came, the orgasm tearing through her, taking him with her so they both went flying. He kept driving, once, twice, another time, and then it was impossible as her body flung his somewhere into subspace and he just floated there in heaven for a while.
Eli collapsed over her, holding her tight to him. She felt so small, so fragile, and yet her body could take his. He was a big man and even at his most gentle, he knew he hadn't been quite the way other men would be with her. His heart pounded into hers. He felt her frantic pulse around his shaft and his own heartbeat throb in his cock.
"I'm too heavy for you, baby. Probably crushing you. But I can't move." He didn't want to move. He wanted to stay locked with her just like he was.
She held him just as tightly, her legs and arms still wrapping him up as if he was a treasured gift. He buried his face against her shoulder and neck, turning his mouth so he could sip at the taste of her skin.
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he whispered, meaning it, barely able to say the words aloud because deep inside he had fallen apart. He needed a few minutes to pull himself back together. He hadn't expected his feelings for her to be so intense, so overwhelming. To eat him from the inside out.
"No one's ever complimented me before," she whispered back. "I don't want you to just say it."
His heart turned over. He lifted his head to look at her, his eyes searching hers. He was leopard. He heard the ring of truth, but still, was Rafe Cordeau really such an idiot? How could he look at this woman, have her in his home, and not tell her she was beautiful?
"Baby." It was a reprimand. "Leopards don't lie to their mates. You'll know if I do. You really are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
She blinked at him. Her long lashes fanning down and then back up. "Probably not, but at least you think I am." A slow smile softened her voice even more than usual. "And that's saying something considering all the experience you seem to have." Her legs slipped back to the mattress, as if she was suddenly too tired to hold herself around him.
He rolled, taking her with him, so that he was still locked inside her, but she was sprawled over the top of him. She was small and light, but warm and soft. He ran both hands down her back to the slope of her butt. He loved her ass. Soft. Firm. The little indentations. His fingers found them and he rubbed there.
"You ever think about getting a tattoo?"
She lifted her head, resting her chin on his chest, one eyebrow raised. "A tattoo? Of what? Where?"
His hands slid up her rounded bottom to find the curve at the small of her back. He stroked caresses there. "Right here. Something sexy and all you. That way when I take you on your hands and knees, I can see it."
Her smile reached her eyes. "Do you think about anything besides sex?"
He grinned at her. "I did until you came along. You messed up my mind, Kitten, so now that's all I think about."
She laughed and turned her head to rest her cheek on his chest. His hands went back to smoothing over her soft skin. Making her his. Memorizing the shape and feel of her. His body enjoyed the occasional aftershock as her body began to relax all the way, her skin melting into the heat of his.
He had never held a woman this way. So intimately. He had never considered he might be a man to want to cuddle a woman, but he wanted her close to him. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to be inside her for as long as physically possible.
"You ever hear of a man named Jake Bannaconni?" he asked.
"Everyone's heard of him, Eli."
"He's our closest neighbor. He and his wife, Emma, own the ranch next door. They have two children and another on the way, and they've invited us to come over and have dinner with them. Do you think you'll be ready for company in a few days?"
She went quiet, the pads of her fingers tracing little patterns over his ribs. She seemed languid, drowsy, her lashes covering her eyes. "It's dangerous, Eli. Of course I'd like to meet our neighbors, but Rafe will find us eventually. You know that or you wouldn't have suggested training me and my leopard. You know he'll come for me."
"Jake and Emma are shifters. His ranch locks down tight and his crew are all shifters. He's dealt with rogues before and he has a sweet setup to protect his family. I'd like to take a look at it, and he wants you to know you've got a place to go in an emergency." He was careful to keep his tone to information only. He didn't want to push her one way or the other. He was already pushing her in too many other areas.
"I'll think about it."
Her voice was so sleepy--sensual sleepy--his body tightened again. That was fine with him. He didn't mind both of them drifting off with his cock still buried inside of her. If he didn't have his cock there, he'd be tempted to put his fingers inside her and then she'd really be shocked.
"I've asked for the groceries on your list and a few clothes. You'll need the clothes for learning to get rid of them fast for shifting. The faster you shed clothes, the faster the ability to shift on the run."
"You left my boots. I paid so much money for them." Her voice was sleepy and he knew she was drifting a little.
"Your boots?"
"I loved those boots."
He made a mental note to replace her boots with something she'd love equally. "I'm sorry about the boots, baby. Are you awake enough to listen?"
She nodded, but her lashes persisted in drifting down.
"We keep extra clothes in vehicles and also around the property. Jake's men do the same on their property. Are you fairly good at reading maps?"
He felt her head nod, but she didn't answer him aloud. He knew he was losing her to sleep. She needed it and she'd need more over the coming days. Once her leopard emerged, they would have twice the work.
He stroked his hand over her hair, his fingers sliding into the thick braid. He'd almost lost her. He'd been that close. He still had to tie up loose ends with his work. He'd already sent in his resignation. They knew he was angry over the way the case had been handled, and the moment his boss had informed him that Rafe Cordeau had been told of Catarina's whereabouts, everyone in the building knew they'd lost him as an agent. He'd nearly come across the desk and punched his boss's face. He knew no one would be surprised at his resignation, but they'd try to persuade him to stay. He'd already had several emails from his boss, Brady O'Connell, trying to backtrack.
He wrapped his arms tighter around his woman and turned on his side as his cock finally relaxed enough to slip free. He rolled her tight against him and locked his arm around her, holding her to him. One thigh slid between hers and he pushed against her buttocks, burrowing between those soft firm globes, so his worn cock had a soft, warm resting place.
"Good night, baby," he said softly. "No more bad dreams."
12
CATARINA busied herself making breakfast. As a rule when she was in the kitchen, she could lose herself there. The kitchen had been her favorite place, her refuge. Rafe often wandered in when she was putting a meal together or baking something for later.
Eli liked to sit in the kitchen and drink his coffee. His presence took up the entire room, despite it being spacious. He also seemed to suck all the air out of it as well
. He didn't seem to know it, calmly gazing out the wide panel of windows to the outside where the view was gorgeous.
She snuck another peek at him. He was too good-looking for her peace of mind, in a purely masculine way. There were no boyish features whatsoever on Eli. He was all man, every angle cut strong, the lines in his face carved deep. His jaw was strong, his nose straight, and his shoulders were wide enough to fill a doorway.
He made her feel small and very feminine. Right at this moment, she was suddenly feeling very shy. That had something to do with the way he looked at her. He was different this morning. Whenever his gaze rested on her, he was focused, just as before, looking as if he could see right through her to her soul, but it was more. It was the way he focused on her.
She moistened her lips and tried not to startle when he moved. The scrape of his chair had her gaze jumping to his. He'd gone from sitting behind the table to crowding her all the way around the counter, his much larger body pinning her against the sink.
"What are you doing, Eli?" She hated that she sounded so breathless. Like a girl instead of a woman. He was always so sure of himself, and she felt very unsure. Her heart got all fluttery--she was still so scared of him ripping it out and destroying her she actually felt fragile.
"Kitten." He said it softly. Just that. His hand came up to frame her face, his thumb sliding gently over her smooth skin. "You haven't looked at me once this morning. Not one single time."
"I have," she denied hastily. "I looked at you lots." She couldn't quite get herself to raise her eyes to his because she'd see that look. She knew it was there and she knew what it meant. She'd given herself to him last night in a way there was no taking back. She'd made a commitment, and now she was terrified.
"You're hiding from me."
His voice was so gentle. The velvet one that smoothed over her skin and sent shivers of heat down her spine. It was pure, utter hell to be so affected by a man's voice. His scent surrounded her, a wild, rain forest, primal scent--when she breathed in, she felt as if she took him inside of her.
"I'm working, trying to make breakfast. And before that I made us coffee."
"You didn't kiss me good morning either."